My guest this week is Iris Chen, she's an author, unschooling mom, deconstructing tiger parent, and founder of theuntigering movement. As an advocate for peaceful parenting and educational freedom for children, her mission is to inspire generational and cultural transformation, especially among Asian communities. She spent 16 years living overseas in China, the land of the tiger parent, but now resides in her native California with her husband and two sons.  In this episode, Iris and I discuss meeting the educational needs of all kids, including kids with special needs, in-non traditional ways. Specifically, with an educational model called unschooling, which is gaining in popularity in recent years. It’s important to raise awareness about different educational styles so that parents and children don’t feel stuck in their current school system and blindly follow whatever they are told. Thankfully there are many different educational styles that fit kids’ personalities, interests, and challenges better. Learn more about here. Episode Highlights What is a Tiger parent? Equates to very strict Chinese parenting (but can also be a term for any strict parents) A lot of rules, very authoritarian, high expectations, particularly in the area of academics What is untigering? Moving away from very authoritarian, controlling, coercive parenting, but also redefining ideas about the value of formal education and academics and the push to succeed and achieve in those ways Being a controlling parent is not healthy for your kids Parents of kids with special needs, whether that is neurodevelopmental issues, mental health issues, learning challenges, whatever it might be, experience an extra set of fears and concerns, and there can be even more of a drive to control or to make kids conform to a certain way of doing things, out of love and a desire for them to fit in, to have a successful future It is important in those situations for parents to step back and recognize what our fears are around this How do I support the child I have, who this child actually is, which includes all of their amazing strengths and qualities, as well as their challenges? Not trying to make this child fit into a box Opting out of conventional thinking There is this collective reimagining going on right now that is so important to the future of education Education most certainly does NOT need to be done in four walls, sitting down all day long   The educational model we choose for our kids, comprises a lot of their childhood daytime life, we should choose based on all our options not just the one everyone else does We need to ask, "Is this serving me?" Because an education is supposed to serve the child, it is supposed to empower the child and give them the skills If it's not serving the child, why are we still doing it? So are we serving the system? Or is the system there to serve us? If we're just saying yes to whatever they're asking us to do, we're not questioning it, it's not an intentional choice One of the most compelling arguments in support of parents looking at different options educationally, is the research on educational outcomes in the current school system A large percentage of kids are not coming out of the current school system with great success We’re also seeing a generation of kids now in young adulthood with more serious mental health issues than ever before When we think about parenting kids who are autistic, kids who have ADHD, kids with mental health issues, behavioral challenges. All the more need to look at what is going to constitute success, health, well being, an engaged quality of life for them in adulthood?  It may not at all be the picture that we have in our mind of traditionally what's done, and that need to broaden that understanding   What is unschooling?  Living, loving and learning with our children outside the construct of compulsory schooling Child-led, no homework, no curriculum, no particular subjects, no strict schedule Unschooling really opens up a lot of options for reducing kids' anxiety about school or about learning, and by using their strengths and using their interests, it allows a much better entry point into helping them grow in their skills, in their knowledge, because we're approaching it in a way that doesn't automatically heighten their anxiety and create a lot of distress for them How do children become educated with unschooling? They are intrinsically-motivated, they do have the skills they need and the drive that they need in order to pursue their individual interests There is a lot of parenting support. Exploring outside, reading at the library, going to museums, these are ways children can build knowledge By giving kids time and room to play and lead activities it's actually supporting their own developmental pace too, which again,  is really important for neurodivergent kids, for kids with different kinds of processing systems in their brain, to be able to operate at a pace that supports their own development, as opposed to constantly being pushed   Life provides opportunities for learning People learn because we are made to learn We don't need school in order to do that There's so much learning that needs to happen outside the mind, outside the intellect, where the school environment doesn't really allow for that We need to learn how to listen to our bodies, how to rest and engage with nature, how to meet our our needs to survive in the world, like cook and do laundry and pay your taxes and all those things For kids who have more significant neurodevelopmental, behavioral, anxiety kinds of issues, traditional classrooms often are not the best place for them to be doing the kinds of learning and development and growth Follow Iris Chen Website Instagram - @Untigering FB - @Untigering Twitter - @Untigering Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... 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This weeks question is from Monica, “My seven-year-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD, and I do recognize that the diagnosis describes the symptoms he has: poor attention, especially in school, problems managing his emotions and behaviors, he doesn't think before he acts a lot of the time. But he's also very smart and quite talented with art, and he really enjoys playing sports. I'm considering all of the treatment options, and want to try as many non-medication supports as I can before deciding if we want to try prescription medication. I've heard about food changes that can improve symptoms of ADHD, but I'm not sure what information to believe or really where to start. I trust you as a source of accurate information, so I'd love your thoughts on this.” In this episode, I will address the important role nutrition and diet play in ADHD or any type of behavior challenges. Plus you'll learn my 5 key food strategies to start improving ADHD symptoms. You may want to take notes.   You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

My guest this week is Trent McEntire. For more than two decades, he's been helping people gain back their mobility, a story that he knows well. Born with a mild form of cerebral palsy, Trent experienced pain and stiffness every day from the time he was a child. However, his creative problem solving abilities kicked in, and he figured out ways to improve his movement capacity to participate in his love for sports, and then went on to discover that how he repaired his own body was the foundation for what would be his life's work. He attended Western Michigan University where he received a BFA in dance, requiring studies in movement science and training.   Trent pursued a career as a professional dancer, where he performed on stages throughout the country and abroad. As a movement professional, Trent has laid a path where he could help others who have movement limitations. He has helped many people move past their most debilitating situations, and today, his mission is to get his methods and tools out to everyone who needs help. The Fire Up Your Brain program was created as a fun, engaging, affordable way to support his mission.  In this episode, Trent and I discuss ways to fire up our kids' brains so they can learn focus, move, and live better. Trent has used his personal experiences with cerebral palsy and movement education to figure out creative fun methods for improving processing, mobility, and so much more in kids and adults with a wide variety of challenges. He's going to share specific training methods we can use to support brain-body connectivity and improved functioning across the board. Removing shame from the equation and focusing on helping kids' brains through activities they love is where the most effective brain growth happens. Learn more about Trent McEntire here. Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

This weeks question is from Nicole, “I have an almost-four-year-old daughter who has started having major tantrums. She hasn't had behavior issues like this previously, or at least outbursts to this level in frequency. I understand this can be a part of her age, but it feels out of hand and I'm at a loss. It seems like any little thing can set her off, and it can be up to 1-2 hours of rage and screaming. There seems to be nothing that can get her to move through it until she just comes down by herself. We’ve tried everything we can think of: Gotten angry, tried consequences, been patient, given opportunities, we've tried ignoring, separating from the situation. She’s currently an only child and I'm pregnant with my second, so I wonder if that could have something to do with the massive behavior shift. My question is: What can cause a huge behavior shift at this age, and what are the strategies for handling this?”                                          “ In this episode, I will address tantrums: what might be underlying causes, what to do when nothing seems to be working, how parents can overcome frustration, as well as in the moment and long-term strategies.  You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

My guests this week are Dr. Temple Grandin and Dr. Debra Moore. Here is a bit about them: Dr. Temple Grandin is a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She had no language until age four, and good teachers and her mother helped her develop her strengths. She has a successful career as both a designer of livestock handling systems and as a scientific researcher. She also lectures widely on her experiences with autism. She has written many books, some of them include Emergence, Labeled Autistic, Thinking In Pictures, and The Autistic Brain. Dr. Debra Moore is a psychologist with extensive experience helping children, teens, and adults on the autism spectrum. She practiced for over 30 years in the Greater Sacramento area. During that time, she served as president of the Sacramento Valley Psychology Association and Director of Fall Creek Counseling Associates. She co-authored The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults with her co author Temple Grandin. Their second book together is out right now and it's called Navigating Autism: Nine Mindsets For Helping Kids On the Spectrum  In this episode, we discuss how parents and professionals can best support kids on the autism spectrum, specifically the mindsets that support positive outcomes for kids. Dr. Temple Grandin shares her perspective as an autistic adult, and Dr. Debra Moore shares her perspective as a psychologist who spent her career working with autistic kids and young adults. Learn more about Temple and Debra. Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

This weeks question is from Carla, “I have a student who gives up and runs away or cries if he doesn't win a game, or if a task is too difficult for him. His parents separated a year ago, and he suppresses this experience with all of his might. How can I help him when he reacts like this?” In this episode, I will address how teachers can handle emotional upset with their students. I will discuss what is happening internally with kids when they have emotional outbursts, and how homelife and stressors can greatly affect them even if they don’t talk about it. As always, I will provide you with in-the-moment strategies to diffuse the situation and long-term approaches to support more regulated emotions.  You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

My guest this week is Kelly Edwards, She's the creator of the 90-Minute School Day, a lifestyle approach to education. The 90-Minute School Day method connects children with learning in their natural environment: At home with their family. It's designed for kids at an educational level of Pre-K through sixth grade. Kelly is passionate about home education, connecting families through attachment, learning as a lifestyle and helping children and parents identify their purpose. Kelly's entering her seventh year as a homeschool mom. She lives in the Shenandoah valley of West Virginia with her husband and three girls ages, 13, 6, and 3. Nice spread of ages there. She's a licensed foster parent, successful entrepreneur and community citizen. She uses her personal and professional experiences to guide the homeschooling parent with a framework and system to overcome the overwhelm that affects each of us. In this episode, Kelly and I discuss some amazing benefits of homeschooling. Before you run away after being traumatized from schooling at home during the pandemic, know that this is completely different. That was crisis schooling NOT homeschooling. We’re talking 90 minutes a day about 4 days per week max. I have found both as a parent with my own kids, as well as a professional working with kids with lots of different types of needs, homeschooling really can be the best, most supportive educational option for some kids. It lowers the stress around education and schooling significantly for some kids and parents, but you really need to have the intel on what homeschooling actually is, how it works best, the different ways to do it, how to make it work for you in a way that doesn't add to the stress of your life which is why I invited Kelly Edwards on the podcast today to tell us all about it. Learn more about Kelly Edwards here.

This weeks question is from Mark and Josie: “Our son has had challenges since he was an infant. He has never slept well, he's a fairly picky eater, easily upset, and has no frustration tolerance. His behaviors have steadily gotten more challenging as he's gotten older, he's now 10. He's smart and can do academic work for the most part at school, but struggles with his behavior there. He's also pretty difficult to get along with and doesn't have friends because of that. We've brought him to a lot of different professionals over the years and have been referred to various places for counseling, medication, social skills groups, and other kinds of things. He has been given several diagnoses: ADHD, ODD, DMDD anxiety, and even ASD has been mentioned, but nothing really seems to fit. None of the recommendations have helped improve the challenges very much. We are at a point of feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed, as he's getting older and we really don't know how to help him. Is more counseling the answer to work on some coping skills? Are there other medications to try? We're open to any suggestions and appreciate your insight.”                                  “ In this episode, I will address what to do when you hit a roadblock with your child’s health; when multiple practitioners, diagnoses (or zero diagnoses), and treatments don't lead to solutions for your child’s behavioral or developmental issues, and how to start with a fresh perspective to get to the root cause.  In my 25 years of practice, I’ve learned that there is always hope. I've always been able to find one, if not several areas, where we can really start to impact, change, and see progress. It’s time to dig deeper and connect the dots! Visit www.DrNicoleWorkshops.com to sign up. You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

My guest this week is Dr. Dawn Huebner. She is a psychologist, parent coach, and the author of 10 books for children, including perennial bestsellers What To Do When You Worry Too Much and Outsmarting Worry, another recent work, Something Bad Happened to provide support for children, learning about problems around the world, while her newest, The Sibling Survival Guide speaks with warmth and humor to children struggling to get along. Her books are practical and relatable, selling well over a million copies in 23 languages. She's been featured on a host of news and information outlets and frequently interviewed by popular parenting magazines. In this episode, Dr. Dawn Huebner and I discuss The Sibling Survival Guide. What often drives sibling conflict, when to intervene or stay out of it, and how to handle it in the moment without inadvertently making things worse. We will discuss how to stop tattling. And we will get into the nuances of what to do when families have children with behavioral, emotional, or social communication kinds of challenges. This episode is packed with practical tips for how parents can respond to sibling conflict in ways that are helpful immediately and in the long-term. Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com

This weeks question is from Nana, “My four-year-old daughter hits, climbs on people's bodies, screams, and does all kinds of physical behavior when she wants my attention. This happens whenever I'm talking with someone besides her. Sometimes she'll even scratch or hit me. I'm not sure about the best way to handle this.”                                           In this episode, I will address the insistent and sometimes physically aggressive behavior that kids exhibit when they want our attention.  We will talk through what is normal, how to proactively address it, what to do in the moment, and long-term ideas to work on for behavior change. You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on... Instagram Facebook Drbeurkens.com