Evolving Love

In today’s episode we deep dive the provocative question: Is monogamy boring? We discuss our own definitions of what a boring relationship looks like, erotic space and desire, the richness of shared non-monogamous experiences, is boredom a form of safety, our dream debate opponents and so much more.🌿 Upcoming EventWomen's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

We explore the nuanced topic of consent violations within non-monogamous relationships. From the ethics of sharing intimate photos to the complexities of informed consent in the context of infidelity, this conversation invites Evolving Lovers to consider how trust, transparency, and communication are foundational to ethical non-monogamy.🌿 Upcoming EventWomen's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Today we sit down with photographer and academic Dr. Emma Phillips to explore the cultural, feminist, and personal dimensions of an activity that we hold close to our heart - the sexy selfie.Emma is a photographer and researcher/lecturer in Visual Communication at the University of Canberra.With twelve years of professional photography experience in Australian media, design, and advertising, and eight years teaching photography and visual communications across Melbourne, Sydney, and Canberra, Emma brings a wealth of expertise to her work.In 2022 she completed her PhD at the University of Technology Sydney on the intersection of sexy-selfies with class, and has been a finalist in the prestigious Australian National Photographic Portrait Prize.In today’s discussion we talk about the cultural hierarchy between selfies and self-portraits, why we are motivated to take sexy selfies, the role of the male-gaze, the role of validation, aesthetic bias and class judgements, sexy selfies as erotic communication, photographer/model power-dynamics, masculinity and the male-selfie, creating environments for artistic exploration, how selfies can help foster community and so much more.Guest LinksEmma’s PHDEmma’s WebsiteEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s episode we dive deep into the art of communication in long-term, non-monogamous relationships. We explore the nuances of radical honesty—when it’s helpful, when it’s too much, and how to balance truth with tact. From navigating attraction to others, to the infamous “chewer vs. spewer” dynamic, we unpack how our differing communication styles have evolved over the years. We share examples like late-night pillow talks, wardrobe critiques, and the vasectomy sample drop-off, all while highlighting the importance of timing, tone and intention.Women’s RetreatBookings for my Women’s Retreat in Yass, NSW, Australia from 17th-19th October 2025 are now open! (Currently running an Early Bird special!)Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Mistress Fleur Driver is a professional Dominatrix and BDSM practitioner with over thirteen years of experience in the sex work industry. Originally trained in the courtesan tradition by European Madams, her practice is grounded in immersive, intentional experiences that welcomes people from all walks of life. From her private dungeon in Sydney to international settings, Fleur guides her clients through carefully crafted journeys of surrender, ritual, and self-discovery.In this conversation we discuss healing through BDSM, sacred spanking, clients exploring sissification, high protocol scenes, how to use cling wrap in BDSM, masculinity and BDSM, Financial domination, being married and also being a sex worker, the visual aesthetics of BDSM, aftercare and mental health for Dominatrix’s, the state of sex work in Australia, the difference between decriminalisation and legalisation of sex work and so much more.Mistress Fleur Driver Links:Website | InstagramEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s episode we discuss our appearance on the ABC’s Compass program “Beyond Monogamy” which was released on Sunday 27th April 2025. We dissect the process of filming, the feedback we have been receiving, counter-opinions presented in the show and how we are feeling after our highest profile media appearance yet…Watch The DocoEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Evan's story is unlike anything you've heard. Imagine spending your most formative years within the confines of a religious fundamentalist cult. How would this shape your approach to sex, love and relationships?In addition to his vulnerability, honesty and ability to self-reflect, Evan is also a talented songwriter and frontman of his Canberra-based band, The Burley Griffin.In this episode, prepare to be moved as we delve into Evan's inspiring journey: from rebuilding his understanding of love and intimacy after purity culture, to his personal explorations in non-monogamy, his path to self-love, grappling with external and intrinsic validation, how the Queer community became a vital force in his deconstruction of social and relationship norms and so much more….Evan Buckley Links:SpotifyBandcampEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack-Podcast Cover Photo: Josh de Hoog This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

We take the opportunity to celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary by reliving the night of the proposal!Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

In todays episode we discuss Liam being shamed, how we police language, a recent Chris Williamson Instagram caption, an incredible new TV show “Adolescence”, and so much more!Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

We have a difficult discussion in today’s podcast that relates to child safety and Abbey’s recent Substack article “We Must Be Critical of Non-Monogamy”. We unpack the reception and criticisms around the article, the importance of nuanced conversations around this topic, why no community is immune from having these discussions and so much more.Important Resources:If you feel affected by this episode and the themes discussed, please reach out to these great resources:United States:Childhelp USAThe National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)Australia:Kids HelplineBraveheartsEngland:NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)Childline-Study referenced in episode: UNSW Study Link This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe