Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

There's a wise, older Asian man that can have an orgasm without ejactulating and every time he shakes from within his prostate it's like watching a parade: pure, unadulterated joy. Aside from that this episode is full of fun. We have a man that uses ALL the Big Words he can think of, PLUS a job orientation that rivals the infamous Let's Get Social song. We have a follow up on Shaq's biggest "toe" and a big announcement for Tommy's fall shows. Plus, don't forget to MAKE FITNESS in our new official Fitness tank. (Imagine the sound of the Asian man shaking from the inside here).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you like heavy breathing into the mic? CHECK! What about laughing uncontrollably at street jokes? BOOM! Anybody poop their pants lately? You guessed it, Top Dog is in the building and he brought his Peruvian princess with him. Before we get to that we've got people marrying themselves and buildings, plus what's the opposite of a happy Dad Boner? Is it Dad Rage? Whatever it is, we found him too.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh Snap! We got the PodFather. The Mighty and Powerful Joe Rogan joins us to discuss all things JEAN. From the crazy current state of politics to some all time dad boner moments, Joe weighs in on it all. He even answers the question: Would you date your mom? Spark one up and pour some out, this is an all-time classic. Pull em up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This one is particularly Amaze, Jean. Nothing like the police scaring you as you literally swim with sharks. Hear the REAL audio and decide if you'll ever swim again. Plus, does anyone deserve a beating the way people who WISH they were disabled do? Can we start a fundraiser to get them their wish?We have a Horrible or Hilarious that is not, well, hilarious. So, just listen. AND, has Tommy finally crossed the line with Tina and his grossness? To make things even better we have our first guest in ages in studio. This guy is the REAL WATER CHAMP. It's water sommelier, Martin Riese. Get ready to get educated in everything H20.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does thinking about your family turn you on? Think harder. Now are you feeling it? Let's talk about something that your brain does a good job of blocking out. Plus Tommy got food poisoning. Can you guess what type of food caused it? Can you guess where you shouldn't buy that type of food from? Bingo.Just as Tina and Tommy realized they could plug in more than one thing in their bedroom, they also have come to the conclusion that they can buy more than one clock. Hear the riveting story.AND even more unsolicited callers weigh in on the personality battle. Who do you find more charming?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot people have opinions on their dog food like they know what their dog can taste, thankfully one guy dove in for the rest of us and taste tested different dog foods. We have the amazing results. Plus, single dad, Tom takes his son to the mall and gets some alarming looks. Would you look at Tommy that way? A "You Know" champ comes to us from the least expected place AND it seems like the Personality Championship can be put to rest. We have audio for you to consider. JEANS UP! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the second live podcast we did on this evening at The Irvine Improv. The inimitable Yoshi joins us for some hilarious and often jaw-dropping conversations. *Please use HEADPHONES to listen to this episode. And of course, STANIMA.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a lady and you're having trouble getting pregnant or perhaps you want some more excitement in bed, there has been a new development that is changing lives - LEECHES. You just need to shove them up inside of you. Plus, aren't nail clippers incredible? This one dude thinks so and we happen to agree.We'd love to put the personality argument to rest, but both moms are still bickering. Isn't it obvious???Plus, there's some big Chef John fans writing in and defending his UP-speak AND we have Would You Rather, Fill Her Up and MORE.There isn't enough denim in this world to match up with this episode.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not everyone can read the future by touching their worn panties, but this is Your Mom's House and we found someone that can. Plus, never before heard audio of your two favorite mom's making love. Is this real? We have Master Of Accents, a man throwing up that REALLY upsets Tina and Top Dog and Charo on the phone. Is there anything boring in this episode? Yup, we got some of that for you too. JEAN forever.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mummy, here's the truth - we have sick jeans this week. Both of us. Please bear with us as we compete for the immunity championship. We welcome all our witches and wiccans to approach this episode with caution as we delve into a dangerous spell. Plus, who's the real elitist? Tommy has a pretty strong argument for Tina being a closet snob. What do you think?AND our cars both have smelly AC's - what's the deal? Is it a dead animal? Maybe F-A-R-T?And we honor the great athlete, Nelson Mandela.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices