Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

What if you wipe yourself with toilet water to save paper but you flush a bunch so you're actually wasting water? Can you really say you care about the environment? Not sure, but you're definitely probably vegan.Plus, when blind people dream do they "see" what we do? Only twins with different sized penis can help us answer these important questions. We get the stories the OTHER podcasts choose to ignore. F*** you in your a**? We'll be right there.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if it's only smells, but also it turns you on? Is that okay?What kind of smells get your engine going? Ladies, we're talking to you. PLUS, when Dad Boners are into animals and by animals we mean bees, it's borderline disturbing. AND the great Ms. Pat is back for amazing, honest and absolutely hilarious conversation. Her new book, RABBIT: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MS PAT goes on sale August 22nd. Be sure to pick up a copy of this incredible book.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We want you guys to orgasm all the time, even when you hug someone or shake their hand or just stand up. That's our mission and we hope this episode guides you to the forbidden place where we live. We have some great listener emails this episode PLUS a dad boner that gives Canadian highway dad a run for his money. And a white girl that uses BIG WORDS prompts a debate - Do you ever accept white people doing that? Wait til you hear Kim Ahn and Mr. Rub Rub Rub together.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thank God for feminists like Roman who are out there every day fighting the good fight. He's out in the streets encouraging women to fart in his face. If it weren't for guys like him, would ladies even know they could fart???Plus, TOP DOG gets on a call to go over a recent "ACCIDENT." Did you knoe R Kelly actually wanted to marry his mom? AND the great YOSHI joins once again for more of his hilarious travel tales.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some women associate giving birth with PAIN. Are they dumb? Maybe they just haven't been taught yet. They SHOULD be having orgasms. That's what childbirth is all about. PLUS, could Tommy's REAL mom be the fart mistress we've all wanted? AND special guest Brent Weinbach joins us. You wanna talk some s**t? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Tommy boy arrived in Los Angeles with hope in his eyes, it was Sam Tripoli who made Tom sit on the casting couch and earn his stage time thru butt spreads and oral favors. Kidding! That's a dream (for both guys). Sam Tripoli is a tornado on stage and off. Check out his new double album, The Diabolical and his numerous podcasts, including Punch Drunk and his new conspiracy theory podcast, Tin Foil Hat. We go hard on this one and big laughs are had the whole way around.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have found a secret that even Wikileaks couldn't get. There is a man who may or may not be Ryan Sickler that gave a chocolate kiss to Hillary Clinton and we have the DETAILS!You are NOT ready. PLUS, would any of you like to come over for moose soup later? What if we smoked two packs a day and slept with the whole village? Okay, see you at 7!Two hot new joints make this episode the kind you just want to put on some new jeans and rock out to.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You have to be careful with a penis when it's really big cause you might end up dead! This South Florida man is really in a tough place (murder charge) because of it. Plus how many people/hours does it take for Johnny Depp to get ready? Let's take a guess!AND special guest Wheeler Walker Jr. joins us and blows us away with his amazing voice and beautiful voice. Ol' Wheeler has got some pipes on him.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a longshoreman doesn't feel like talking, you better get to walking or you're gonna get trespassing. That's just the way it goes. Plus, your feedback is boring in for Christina's Fart Mistress Shed. Will she go thru with it? AND we have a new awful work song. It's really quite depressing. Hope you enjoy it!The real news is Ari Shaffir is not only back from his vision quest, he's actually HERE, in the mommy dome. He has a new special coming to Netflix July 18 called Double Negative. Oh and he still owes Tommy and Bert a trip.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's here in all its glory - episode 400 of Your Mom's House! And finally we face the question that has been bugging us all - will Christina BaBoey Chusay Oh Tom's B-Hole? A real conversation takes place. PLUS, will Tina start a side business in a shed? Is there someone out there who laughs as hard as Top Dog at awful jokes? We have those answers and more! Pull em up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices