Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Ya'll know what it is. If you gotta brown you might as well go to where the brown ends up anyway, right? One man already figured that out and is talking to us from a gutter! Plus, how cool is being a virgin? How cool is it to RECLAIM your virginity? Hold up, we are bundling ourselves in blankets from how cool the previous two questions are. No more than 2 people should wear white if three people are hanging out together. That is an Australian rule that we explore.AND hilarious comic, podcaster and all around great guy, Josh Wolf joins us on the podcast today. Pull your jeans up and enjoy this one.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-Jeans Unite!As we wrap up another year of tightly woven denim we want to give thanks to you, the little mommy. Hope you have a great holiday filled with love and rectal touches. Here we have the last live show we did at the Irvine Improv a little while back. Thank you all for being the best fans anyone could ever want. We would fart in every one of your stockings if we could.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After years of podcasting and hundreds of shows we thought, "How about a little intelligence on this show for a change? How about...a Doctor?"Luckily for all of us Dr Drew agreed (before knowing what our show is about) to come on and no description can do it justice. He shared stories about his life and let us know what he thought about the many clips we play on this show. All we can say is, we wish it never ended.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh s**t, bro! The Weasel is in the house. The wiser weasel has some great advice and hilarious stories from his days as an MTV VJ and international movie star. Plus we get in to whether or not FARTS are assault (they are) and if Tom can sue Tina (He can). You looking for free rent? Come over to my house and beat me, pee on me. Try it out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years back Tommy went to Asia (voluntarily, tho under some duress) and did stand up with some great guys: Chad Daniels, Pete Lee and the guest of this episode, J. Elvis Weinstein. The trip was filmed for a documentary that is available NOW. Please check out I NEED YOU TO KILL on itunes, Amazon or wherever you pay to buy and rent movies. J. Elvis Weinstein is a comedian, writer, director and co-host of his own podcast, Thought Spiral with Andy Kindler. This episode is full of laughs and love. Get all up in there like it's the night before your 70th birthday.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is as good as it gets. Joey Coco Diaz is in the building. This lovable, fiery felon is sure to make you laugh as you sit by the fire and ask your mom if she will 69 your dad on his 70th birthday. By the way, a bunch of those came in and they are HILARIOUS. PLUS we talk CATS, Dad Boners and we read your emails.  Say No More, just listen, JEAN.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans Within! Jeans Within! Looks like College Football isn't immune to the Jeans within your heart. Nick Saban has the full commentary. PLUS, we got more tracks for you: Machines and She's Retarded - all different styles that you, the listener submitted. AND we have a transracial woman, well, she sure sounds like one. What do you think? Charles Manson is dead! John Daly hates water! and "Do you 69 at 69"??Get into it, Jeans.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the mommies prank any media outlet with Mommy lingo we LOVE IT! Get em, jean!Amazingly, someone else hates Puking as much as Tina and Tina has some advice. Equally as astonishing, Adam Carolla is on the same page as Tina with...showering?!PLUS, we have She's Retarded remixes, Louie CK talk, profane coaches with kids and MORE!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Water GOD is back in the building. Before we get to more hydrating satisfaction we have some GOOD stuff for you. And nothing kicks things off like diarrhea. Public diarrhea. Have you ever just, you know, gone. In plain view. I'd like to hear about it. We have MORE Machines Within and some NEW She's Retarded tracks. Grab a bottle of mineral water and ENJOY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo! Tommy got a Lambo wit the brains blown out! Naw, he didn't. But he made Bert and Ari think he did and that was worth every penny.We give you the full scoop on that PLUS we find a good potential roommate for you. All you need is a strong sex drive and, well, we should just let him explain. Seems like a nice guy. We also have the KING farting on his dog. Is this okay? And Steven Seagal isn't just the worst actor he MIGHT be an equally bad person. Lets explore!MACHINES WITHIN!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices