Smart Dating Academy - The Podcast

This episode with Dr. Michelle Roberts is about women, narcissistic abuse, why it happens, and how to heal from it (this is what she researched and practices today). It blew my mind, because I didn't even know that C-PTSD was a diagnosis, and what it meant.  It's SUPER significant in the dating world, and if you've had dating patterns, this episode will change them!  In this episode, we cover: How therapists are MISSING the C-PTSD diagnosis with their clients, and why How she became a crime journalist to doing groundbreaking work on narcissists, and women who are sucked into their lair How the ACES test will help you to define if you're at risk for C-PTSD The types of therapy that will HELP you to mitigate the C-PTSD What survivors struggle with the MOST How to stop gaslighting YOURSELF into staying in this relationship Understanding the HOOK that they have in you Knowing the BOTTOM line behaviors you can NOT accept Building your own sweet life & how to do that!   How to surround yourself with people that love you, and how NOT to isolate yourself!   If you'd like to book a session with us to get help with dating, click:  www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela If you'd like to sign up for our newsletter, click: https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Watch Bela's TEDx Talk with almost 100K views on "The Secret To Finding Lasting Love!"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIyvhq3zWLg Dr. Michelle Roberts - Bio Dr. Michelle Roberts is a psychotherapist, journalist, and professor. Her work focuses on the intersection of culture, relationships, and modern narcissism. She helps women break trauma cycles that keep them from becoming their whole, radiant selves.  Her ground-breaking research identified and focused on survivors for the very first time. But almost none had been diagnosed with this severe form of trauma.  In the only peer-reviewed survey of its kind, women who identify as narcissistic abuse survivors scored four times higher for the presence of childhood trauma than the average population. And nearly three out of four met the clinical criteria for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or C-PTSD.  Michelle has worked with more than 300 individual narcissistic abuse survivors to help them escape the often-unconscious patterns that keep them stuck in relational trauma cycles. With compassion and careful pacing, she helps them take deep plunges to the bottom of things.  

This episode was a gem-filled chat with Stephanie Mansour about "Building Your Confidence at Every Age and Size!" Stephanie Mansour is a nationally recognized Health & Fitness Expert and host of “Step It Up with Steph” on American Public Television. She is weight-loss coach for women. You can see her health, fitness, food, and lifestyle TV show on PBS stations across the country! Steph is also seen on Today Show, Dr. Oz, CNN, FOX and more. Steph reaches more than 52 million viewers per month. Stephanie is a certified personal trainer, Yoga instructor, Pilates instructor, professional life coach, and has her BA in Communications with an emphasis on Women's Studies and Psychology from the University of Michigan. Bela and Steph covered 10 different tips, including the five counter-intuitive ways to build your confidence, and five things you can do before a date to get yourself into a good physical/emotional state!  They both talk about their weight struggles, and give you TONS of tips for feeling & looking your personal best!  Listen for: Bela's secret personal affirmation to put on your mirror that will make you do the RIGHT thing! The best thing to eat before a date to make you feel your best! The 3 steps to great posture during a date to make you look/feel more attractive Steph's 60 second facial trick to making yourself happy How to connect deeply to your "why" - and how that keeps you motivated! Why flexibility is the key to a great health regime (even while dating) Why self-care is good for you, and sexy to others Join Steph for daily inspo on Instagram and in her new app, “Step It Up with Steph” full of daily challenges, workouts, recipes, and motivational exercises.  Sign up for the Smart Dating Academy newsletter by filling out any form at www.smartdatingacademy.com, and follow Bela on Instagram to get LIVE tips, Q&A and daily inspiration!   

How Rachel Went from Betrayal to Love - and got out of the "Drama Triangle!"   This week's episode is an amazing chat with serial entrepreneur Rachel Graham, about finding love & purpose after betrayal.  Rachel is the founder of Evolve and Transform, co-founder of Healing Springs Ranch, and has a beautiful love story that came after lots of bumps & bruises along the way.  She's so relatable, you'll want to listen to every word.  She will help you to see that we ALL have a role in betrayal, and how to step out of the 'drama triangle.'   Here are just a few gems that you will here in this episode: *The darkest moment where Rachel found her purpose, while her house was flooding *What HER contribution was (in her own words) to the betrayal she experienced.   *How she broke free of the victim mentality, and how we can ALL do that. *How to find the 'meaning' in any mess that's presented to you *How you can be the 'lotus flower in the muck' *Why you can't go around the pain *Why her boyfriend told her she's like Rapunzel (and you'll ALL relate to this) *How to live your life through 'scars' and not 'open wounds.'   *Why most relationships have a shelf life (and what to do at that point) *Her definition of rejection -- it's protection and redirection *How she found love and is SO happy now (YAY)!! *The Drama Triangle vs. The Empowerment Dynamic" - and how to switch from drama to empowerment To see photos of Rachel and her "Fly Guy" and the "Drama vs. Empowerment Triangles" as we promised in the episode, click here!! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/success-stories/rachel-graham Here's a link to get date coaching from Smart Dating Academy - www.smartdatingacademy.com To hear live advice, monthly, on Bela's Instagram Live show - www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy 

This episode taught me a lot about myself, and I hope it will do the same for you.  It will change you to think about your core values in a NEW way.    It'll inspire you to really think about yourself, who you are, and maybe what a better career is for you OR a better partner (there are TONS of similarities between job search and partner search)!   In this episode, I interview the inimitable Ashley Stahl (I watched her Ted talk and knew I had to interview her, stat).  Ashley Stahl is counterterrorism professional turned career coach and bestselling author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, and she's on a mission to help people get into a career they're excited about and aligned with. Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her online courses, her email list of 500,000 and her show, You Turn Podcast, she's been able to support clients in 31 countries in discovering their best career path, upgrading their confidence and landing more job offers.   Ashley is also single, out there in the dating world, and is very open about her dating life (and you know I LOVE that).  Here are just a few of the topics we cover this week!   Ashley tells people not to follow their passion. Why?  Amazing answers that NO one gives us. What was the moment that she knew that she was in the WRONG career at the Pentagon? She teaches us how you REALLY define what your core values are.  This was a mic drop moment for me. What are some myths that keep people stuck in their career and life, and how do we become more experimental? What were my 'dark years' in my life, and what were the two lists I made to find who i "am" and start Smart Dating Academy? How do you get into your masculine/feminine energy for dates? How do you get reconnected to yourself? Why 'backing up' doesn't mean 'backing down' in life If you'd like to read Ashley's book if you're considering a career pivot, here it is!   https://amzn.to/37325aL

Bela has a REAL, in depth chat with celebrity divorce attorney Laura Wasser, who has represented celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, Dr. Dre, Kelly Clarkson, Jimmy Iovine, Maria Shriver, Stevie Wonder and the list goes on. Laura Wasser is also an author, entrepreneur, and Family Law expert. She is the senior partner at the law firm Wasser, Cooperman, Mandles, the founder and C.E.O. of It’s Over Easy, the online divorce service and one of the creators of the Next Chapter Collection of luxury candles.   Laura maintains that divorce is the great equalizer—it terrifies everyone, but that your next chapter can be better than ever!   Bela and Laura talked about SO many things, including the following: How Laura became a divorce attorney What she thinks about love the second (or third or fourth) time around Why divorce sucks (she hosted a show called "Divorce Sucks") Is she single?  :) Why a pre-nup can be a GREAT tool for a strong marriage How celeb marriage/divorces differ from 'our normal' ones What is part of her 'dating ritual'?   Does everyone have just one 'lid to their pot' or could there be 'many'???? Here's a link to get date coaching from Smart Dating Academy - www.smartdatingacademy.com To hear live advice, monthly, on Bela's Instagram Live show - www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy  To get the amazing 'divorce' candles for your "next chapter" -- https://www.perfectdaycandles.com/nextchapter

Danielle who has created a life she LOVES at the age of 30.  She's a famed TV host, entrepreneur, podcaster, and a dear friend.  She has interviewed Taylor Swift, Michael B. Jordan, Helen Mirren -- and Larry King says that she 'has the ability to make people feel seen."  In this chat, Danielle shares with us: The way she got to know herself (it has to do with 800 questions....) What happened when she got her first dream job (hives might be involved, spoiler alert)! How to be WAY more interesting at dinner parties What dating tip I gave her that has talked her into getting back into the game (woo hoo me!!) The new product she has created to make conversations REAL I know you're going to get some good laughs and information from this podcast.  You'll be inspired by how Danielle has brought more love into her life with work, AND, how she is going to start dating!! You can get the cards Danielle shared with us here at https://prettysmartshop.com/collections/shop/products/question-everything-card-deck-1 Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Bela Gandhi of Smart Dating Academy, is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert.  SDA offers the best tips to start to date smarter to help you find real and lasting love.  Bela is a sought out correspondent and works with all major networks including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, NBC, Harry Connick Junior, Kelly Clarkson, ABC, FOX, CNN, JET, Essence, Forbes, WGN, and more... Follow Bela on  Instagram Twitter  Facebook YouTube Smartdatingacademy.com

This episode is PURE fire, and so perfect for Valentine's Day.   Nancy Hala is a renowned entrepreneur, podcaster, who became a Smart Dater with Bela.  Nancy found love online and got married in September 2021 to the most magical man ever (and they're both over 50).   Nancy and her podcast partner Sheri invited Bela to be the 'dating coach' on their podcast -- coaching Nancy to find love.  This episode takes you through the WHOLE story, including: Nancy's background as a single mom, raising two tiny kids on her own How she intrepidly got online What a man will do when he REALLY loves you What her 'last first date' was, and what she noticed about David soon as they stood up Why she knew he was 'the one' How obsessed we are with 'the berry lip' The photoshoot on the 100F day Her best advice to women about finding love How she lives in a magical forest now :) For those of you that want to READ her full story, you can read it after you listen by putting this link in your browser: https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/success-stories/nancy-and-david And, please SHARE this episode with your friends that need it!   And we would LOVE a review and your comments!  If you're in need of any dating help, follow us on Instagram @smartdatingacademy, AND come to our www.smartdatingacademy.com, and fill out any contact form to receive our free newsletter with ALL of the things!!  

Most people think that Peak Dating Season is in the SUMMER, but guess what?  It's from 12/26-Valentine's Day!  Why?  Because half of US adults are SINGLE and they're making resolutions to get back into the dating pool and FALL IN LOVE! In this episode, I'll talk about HOW to take advantage of PEAK DATING SEASON (whether it's in this time frame or anytime)! The Right Mindset Apps - Which ones and how many? Photos - what kind and how many?? Profile Text - Is it important? Dating Strategy - How to get the ball rolling? If you're doing the same thing over and over again, if you don't know how to vet the dates, know you have a problem that needs solving, we can help you at Smart Dating Academy!   Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Bela Gandhi of Smart Dating Academy, is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert.  SDA offers the best tips to start to date smarter to help you find real and lasting love.  Bela is a sought out correspondent and works with all major networks including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, NBC, Harry Connick Junior, Kelly Clarkson, ABC, FOX, CNN, JET, Essence, Forbes, WGN, and more... Follow Smart Dating Academy on  Instagram  Twitter Facebook YouTube SmartDatingAcademy.com

The "N" word -- "narcissist", is a word that is thrown around a LOT in our culture.  We use it to describe people in our family, colleagues, bosses, friends, and more!   But what are the REAL signs you're dealing with a narcissist?  In this episode, I will tell you: The 9 actual parameters that therapists use from the DSM-5 to diagnose narcissism How narcissists will show up in your dating life The red flags that should make you run!! You will want to have this episode with you ALWAYS as you're dating, as a good check for you if you've had problems with this in the past, OR if you're just getting out into the dating pool after being divorced or widowed! If you're doing the same thing over and over again, if you don't know how to vet the dates, know you have a problem that needs solving, we can help you at Smart Dating Academy!   Download this episode, share it on social media, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Bela Gandhi of Smart Dating Academy, is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert.  SDA offers the best tips to start to date smarter to help you find real and lasting love.  Bela is a sought out correspondent and works with all major networks including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, NBC, Harry Connick Junior, Kelly Clarkson, ABC, FOX, CNN, JET, Essence, Forbes, WGN, and more... Follow Bela on  Instagram  Twitter Facebook YouTube SmartDatingAcademy.com

In this episode Bela explores dating during and after divorce with Susan Guthrie.  Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. Susan is also the host of the "Divorce & Beyond Podcast".  You can see more about Susan Guthrie here. If you're doing the same thing over and over again, if you don't know how to vet the dates, know you have a problem that needs solving, we can help you at Smart Dating Academy!   Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Bela Gandhi of Smart Dating Academy, is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert.  SDA offers the best tips to start to date smarter to help you find real and lasting love.  Bela is a sought out correspondent and works with all major networks including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, NBC, Harry Connick Junior, Kelly Clarkson, ABC, FOX, CNN, JET, Essence, Forbes, WGN, and more... Follow Bela on  Instagram Twitter  Facebook YouTube Smartdatingacademy.com