Plan Simple with Mia Moran

“I'm very bold and unapologetic about my self care.” –Rosalyn FungWhat happens when a pivot looks like giving up everything you’ve worked for? Rosalyn Fung left a thriving psychology practice to become a coach. We talk about her entrepreneurial journey, the breakdown that led her to learn about the spiritual practices that she now uses with clients, and how hiring a speaking coach made a difference.One of the challenges of a major pivot / break with what you were doing is the reaction of others. In Rosalyn’s case her parents worried about her leaving behind the career she had worked so hard for. Have you ever worried about leaving something you worked hard for? Here’s a reminder, it’s okay to change your mind.And what about balance? It’s not 50-50 time, but how the energy flows between different parts of her life. For her that starts with being in relationship with herself.We talk about: What Akashic Records are (I had no idea) and how she uses them herself and with clients to quantum leap resultsHer morning routine and other ways she takes care of herself (start by responding to yourself, not the world)Building self-trust by creating goals, committing to them and taking action on that commitmentShifting your energy to stop attracting nightmare clients or to get past money, time, or other blocksThe importance of honoring our feelingsHow productivity is creativity — and why breaks are essentialABOUT ROSALYNRosalyn Fung is an Akashic Visionary Life & Business Soul Coach, Facilitator & Trainer of Flourishing Life Coaching Certification Program, speaker, 3x international best-selling author, former psychologist, mastermind, and workshop facilitator on the topics of feminine leadership, self-love, mastering your energy, money mindset & attraction marketing. She has a podcast/ TV show called Activate Your Soulgasmic Business and she delivers meditations with light language activations that rank in the top 10% globally of most listened to and is featured on various platforms including iHeart Radio, Apple iTunes, Spotify, and RokuTV.Rosalyn Has Been Featured In Huffington Post, CBC Radio, And Has Spoken For Fearless Woman Summit, This Woman Means Business, and Harvard University. She has shared the virtual stages with world leaders, Les Brown, one of the world’s most sought-after motivational speakers & coaches, and Jack Canfield, the founder of Chicken Soup for the Soul.As a former psychologist of over 10 years, a 2nd degree black belt In karate, a Reiki master & Divine Compassion Multidimensional Healer, she catalyzes you to get out of your own way, unapologetically show up and magnetize your dream life. ​LINKSWebsite: https://www.rosalynfung.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosalynfungcoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rosalyn.hagueDOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Change comes from action. Doable changes are things that you can add into your life, one at a time to make micro shifts and really create a ripple effect that will create a big change over time. Choose one that really piques your interest and roll with it. Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:START YOUR DAY WITH YOU. Instead of picking up your phone, turning on the radio, or opening email, choose a practice to start your morning that tunes you into you. Rosalyn sits with the Akashic Records. You could start with meditation, journaling, a quiet walk.TAKE A SACRED PAUSE. Pauses bring us into the realm of possibilities, of opening up new ideas because we're not burning out. Make a list of ways you would like to take breaks during the day. Then take at least one break each day this week.SIT WITH YOUR FEELINGS. We tend to judge our emotions and try to rush past or ignore them. If you have big feelings coming up—fear, sadness, anger—what happens if you allow some time to sit with and process those emotions instead of just pushing through?

“I look at branding as a spiritual and a self-development process. It's not just finding out the messaging, it's finding out who you are.” –Tiffany NeumanYour logo is just the tip of the branding iceberg. Branding strategist Tiffany Neuman is here to show us that branding is more than logo and colors. Branding is messaging — and who you are. Branding and marketing have been coming up a lot in FLOW365, so I’m excited to dive into this conversation.Branding and marketing go hand in hand. Marketing is the vehicle to put the brand out there and get brand recognition. If you dread this, you’re not alone. We talk about fear of visibility, struggles to write copy, and how the clarity and confidence of a brand can make it easier to share.Like most of what we do here, branding starts with visioning. Tiffany loves helping people dream bigger and reverse engineering to their brand.We talk about: Branding for the company you want to be in a few years, not nowCreating a branded system and how it helps you get new ideas out quickly and easily and outsourceA perfect fit client instead of an ideal clientBranding as spiritual and self-developmentBeing consistent with your brand and innovative with campaignsMindset work on visibilityABOUT TIFFANYTiffany Neuman is a visionary branding strategist who helps highly-motivated women entrepreneurs up-level their businesses. After 15 years in the corporate world, working with brands like FedEx, Adidas and Burt’s Bees, she left to establish a revolutionary branding business that stays one step ahead of trends. Using a unique, hands-on approach that views branding as a self-development process, Tiffany now works with clients across the globe to help them 10x their sales and shine even brighter in their niches. She is a contributor for Entrepreneur and has appeared in media outlets including Forbes, and various podcasts. Tiffany is a professor of design and branding, as well as the host of the Legacy Lounge Podcast. When she’s not helping clients create their legacy brands, she’s spending quality time with her husband and two daughters.LINKSYour Legacy Brand WebsiteFacebookThe Profitable Brand Equation Private PodcastBrand Clarity QuizInstagram: InstagramLinkedIn: Linked InMENTIONED LINKSDOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Action is how change happens.Often we feel like our actions have to be huge to match the bigness of our desires, but we have seen over and over and over again that the little things add up. By stacking up a series of Doable Changes, you will create that big change that you crave. Choose the one that really resonates with you this week and really make it part of your life. Here are Three Doable Changes from this conversation:GET OUTSIDE THE BOTTLE. Tiffany likes to say you can’t see the label from inside the bottle. It can be hard to describe what we do. Ask your clients to tell you what they would tell a friend. This might work best on a call or live session. You aren’t asking for a testimonial, just a clearer understanding of what you do for people.NOTICE YOUR CATCH PHRASES. What are you known for? What do you say all the time? Make a list or jot things down as you say it. Are you using these phrases in your content?VISION ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Vision about where you want to be in a few years. You want to create your brand around your future vision, not your “now” business. Get clear on where you are going. Then, if you need it, get help to create the brand around that.

“When women actually start to lean into and embrace their cycle, it becomes like your superpower.” –Renae FieckYour cycle is more than your periods. Too often we are only aware of our period, but working with the four parts of our cycle can make a huge difference in our work and life. I’ve been paying more attention to my cycle for a few years now, and I’m really excited for this conversation with Renae Fieck, cycle coach and business strategist.If you pay attention, you’re likely to notice different energies and moods throughout each month of your cycle. Renae has dubbed them: the recharge, the accelerate phase, the connect phase, and the reflect phase. You can work with these phases instead of trying to push through them.No, you can’t plan your whole life around your cycle, but you can still organize some of your work around them. You can also be kinder to yourself when you need to do something not at the optimal time. And you can make other changes in your life to support yourself through the various stages.We talk about: What happens when we create space for ourselves and follow our rhythm Ways to track what’s happening — noticing goes a long way. Seasonal and other long term cycles in our livesShifting your exercise throughout your cycleFinding more confidence and turning your cycle into your superpowerWhat it looks like for women who don’t have a cycle nowABOUT RENAERenae is a mom of 3 and occupational therapist. She helps women optimize their time and energy through unlocking the power of their cycles so that they can be thriving high achievers. Through her method she helps women balance the demands of life, make a bigger impact, and get bigger results without adding more stress or needing more time. She’s the host of the Cycle Advantage Podcast. She can be found at renaefieck.com.LINKSInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/renaefieck/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/risingmomsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RenaeFieckTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@renaefieckPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/renaefieck/Gift: renaefieck.com/ditchconsistencyDOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Change comes from action.Sometimes action feels so hard. You can be kind to yourself and take action. Our cycles are a great example of how! And we can also take care of ourselves by making the steps doable and focusing on one thing at a time. We take time to integrate the change and then move on to the next one. Pick a Doable Change that resonates with you the most to start from. TUNE INTO YOUR BODY. Working with your cycle starts with noticing your cycle. You can use tools to track your basal body temperature. But you can also simply ask: How am I feeling today? What's actually happening in my body? What does my body need today? Keep it short and simple.CREATE SPACE AROUND YOUR PERIOD. For this part of your cycle, create space for yourself. Take a social media break to cut the noise. Get into nature. Do things that help you recharge.CYCLE SYNC YOUR WORKOUTS. What if you didn’t do the same workout all through the month? Try adapting the intensity to your cycle. For example, sleeping in and easy yoga during your period and higher intensity later in your cycle. See what happens if you make changes that reflect how your body feels.

“Creativity isn't just art. It's not just fun crafts or photography. Creativity is learning to step outside the box and create in different ways.” –Beryl YoungHow do creativity, productivity, and ADHD come together? What about a job in an accounting focused business and creativity or a job and entrepreneurship? We talk about what creativity really is, getting diagnosed later in life, and flowing between a job and running your own business with creativity coach Beryl Young.Beryl really wants people to see creativity as more than just art, fun crafts, or photography. She manages to infuse creativity into a job in the accounting world. She says creativity is just a way that we solve our problems and we find fulfillment during the day. It’s essential self-care. But we often see creativity as extra, and some people find creativity intimidating. Beryl was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 40, after her daughter's diagnosis. I’m seeing more and more women who flew under the radar and are now getting diagnosed. Beryl has found a lot in the creative entrepreneur space, and it's an important piece of the conversation. In addition to creativity and ADHD, we talk about:reinventing yourself, again and again, as a creative actbeing creative with structure — and burnout happening when we are constantly overflowing structureletting go of workaholic tendencies and remembering to be creative how creativity feels extra, what it really is, and how to weave it into your daysletting go of perfectionism and asking what you need creatively on a given dayhow many different ways you can be creativeABOUT BERYLBeryl Young is a creativity coach who supports women in finding greater productivity through sparks of creative self-care. Formally diagnosed at age 40 with ADHD, she realized just how much she’s relied on creativity throughout her life to harness her neurodivergent traits and thrive. Using tools like mindful photography, intentional journaling, and conscious doodling helps women cultivate more space in the chaos of daily life and show up with greater courage and confidence. Beryl previously was the creator and founder of the Momtography photography method and her work has been featured on TODAY parents, Huffington Post, PicMonkey, Digital Photography School, & The Shameless Mom Academy.LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/beyoungcreativepageOpt-In: https://beyoungcreative.com/sparkstudiosignup/https://beyoungcreative.com/100stepsplansimple/Instagram: @creating.courage OR @100stepsprojectDOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Change comes from action. Doable changes are things that you can add into your life, one at a time to make micro shifts and really create a ripple effect that will create a big change over time. Choose one that really piques your interest and roll with it. Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:10-MINUTE RULE. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, stop what you're doing and take 10 minutes to do something. It could be tidying up a corner of your home that's just for you, setting up your creative space, making a playlist that you love.OWN YOUR CREATIVITY. Do you get intimidated by the idea of creativity because you don’t like results or can’t find the time? What if you started noticing how you are creative throughout your days? Are you creative in your gardening or in planning your workouts? Did you figure out a new way to do something? Did you get out of your comfort zone? When we broaden the lens and see creativity differently, it’s easier to see ourselves as creative and make room for more creativity in our lives.PUT STRUCTURE AROUND YOUR CREATIVITY. Sometimes it feels like structure or planning and creativity don’t mix. Try putting some open structure around your creativity. Build some white time into your calendar. Use a journal prompt or challenge to make you do something, like Beryl’s 100 Step Project. Focus on the doing, not the result.

Mia, an expert in meditation and wellness practices, leads a transformative body scan meditation. Listeners explore their bodily sensations, fostering greater self-awareness and acceptance. This calming practice serves as a foundation for those looking to create a holistic wellness plan. Mia emphasizes the importance of relaxation and reflection in enhancing overall health, making this guided meditation a perfect prelude to mindful planning.

“Planning is deciding in advance, after taking the time to get centered.” – MiaLet’s make time for your health.We recently ran a week-long planning event where we took women through the steps of making a 6-week wellness plan.You can go through the whole training here, and in this episode I walk through some of the key questions posed in the first three sessions.In this episode we share the 5 steps of the FLOW Planning Method — center, video, decide, schedule and follow through.Mia shares a few key questions that are a part of the Make Time for Your Health Planner.#1. Ask why you want to make time for your health? Ask 3 times.#2. Make a list of thhe obstacles that keep coming up.#3. Make a list of all your wants — whether they are old or new.#4. Decide your next step for each want. Remember your next step can be to let it go forever or until another season.#5. Let your gut and your why guide you in choosing your top 3 priorities for the season ahead.“With meditation, you become a sensitized superhero, completely in control, with endless possibilities at your fingertips.” – Tara StilesThis meditation is a great way to get centered before sitting down to make a plan — especially a wellness plan. We took it out of a longer session, so that you can use just the meditation. Go to the previous episode to fit this meditation into a bigger framework.Once you have the sense of the direction you are going, we have compiled a playlist of our best wellness episodes to help you follow through.You can also download the full playbook with tips from each podcast episode. Just remember to decide what you want first. The expert episodes are meant to support your dreams, rather than tell you what your dreams should be

“If you can rest your body, if you can rest your mind, sleep just happens. It's a side effect.” –Kali PatrickCan’t sleep? It’s the worst. Whether you can’t fall asleep or stay asleep or get quality sleep, not sleeping impacts everything! Sleep is a hot topic in the FLOW365 community right now, and I know too many women who aren’t getting enough sleep. That’s why I’m so excited about this conversation with Kali Patrick, an adult sleep coach.Poor sleep affects movement, mood, and what we eat, so you really need to prioritize sleep when we are making time for your health. What does “good sleep” even mean? First, Kali says we need to look at our whole sleep experience, not one night. We often create bigger sleep problems by getting in our own head about one or two bad nights of sleep.The first step is actually having a sleep vision. “I need to sleep better” isn’t going to motivate you. You need to ask yourself: What’s important about getting better sleep?We talk about: Setting sleep goals — and knowing how to support yourself to get there with doable changesGiving yourself enough sleep opportunity and setting boundaries with yourself and others to promote good sleepHow to deal with middle of the night wakingSimplifying your bedtime routineThe difference between recreation, rest, and sleep … and how it affects what you do before bedHave a sleep rhythm and understanding that you can get back to if you choose or end up out of it for a nightABOUT KALIKali Patrick is an adult sleep coach and #1 bestselling author of Mastering Your Sleep Puzzle: Your 12-Week Guide to Sleeping Better. She helps stressed-out tired people reclaim their sleep, energy, & enthusiasm for life. Kali blends her training as a nationally-board certified health & wellness coach and therapeutically-trained yoga teacher into a practical and flexible approach to help busy people improve their sleep long term.Kali’s personal experience with both insomnia & burnout add a different dimension to her approach and make her a leading—though often contrarian—sleep expert. Kali believes that everyone has the ability to sleep naturally without any of the products, pills, potions, & gadgets marketed by the $65 billion sleep aid industry*.Learn more about Kali and her programs at KaliPatrick.com.LINKSFree 30-min Clarity Call (required entry to 1-1 coaching)Course: The Sleep AcademyBook: Mastering Your Sleep Puzzle: Your 12-Week Guide to Sleeping Better Freebie: Lifestyle Habits Wrecking Your Sleep (sample book chapter)Twitter: @KaliSleepCoachYouTube: https://youtube.com/@sleepcoachFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/KaliPatrickCoachingWebsite: https://kalisleepcoach.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/KaliSleepCoachLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kalipatrick/DOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Action is where change happens.Even though we want big change, it’s really little things done over and over that make the difference. So pick a doable thing. Put it in your calendar. Weave it through your days for a week and then move on to the next one. It will have a snowball effect.Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:SIMPLIFY YOUR BEDTIME ROUTINE. Pick one thing you do before bed to set yourself up for good sleep. You could do a meditation or rub oil on your feet. Maybe you have a calming tea. Don’t make it complicated. Pick one thing that is restful for your mind or body.IDENTIFY YOUR SLEEP VISION. “I want to sleep better” or “I want to get 8 hours of sleep” isn’t a vision. It isn’t going to motivate you to make change. Ask: What’s important about getting better sleep?” or “Why do I want better sleep?” What passion or action or driving force in your life can’t happen without sleep?CHANGE YOUR SLEEP MINDSET. How do you talk to yourself when you wake up in the middle of the night? Do you think you’re lame for being in pajamas at 9PM? Do you you say, “I’ll never get to sleep?” Start noticing how you talk to yourself around sleep. Just noticing can be your first doable change. Then see if you can shift the script.

“Get rid of the all or nothing mindset that it needs to be some super intense thing.” –Dr. Anthony BalduzziDo you need different food and exercise in your 40s and after? Is it too late to start working out? I’m so excited about this conversation with Dr. Anthony Balduzzi, founder of The Fit Mother Project. We talk about long-term health as a motivator and how to actually make change happen as we age.Why does it feel like what was working doesn’t any more? And what can you do about it? Dr. Anthony says the margin of error goes down when you don’t have as much estrogen providing energy, bone strength, and vitality. That means we need to do strength training, really get control of our nutrition (we’ll talk about some shifts here), make sure you’re moving, take the right supplements, and optimize sleep.If you’re looking at that list and thinking, “I don’t have time,” we’re going to talk about pulses of exercise, how to mix cardio and strength training, and shifts in food that can make a big difference. Plus how these changes can give you more energy … that can help you do more of the good stuff for your body.We talk about: Having a standardized healthy breakfast and getting more protein in your dietThe need for movement AND workoutsExperimenting to find what feels good for your bodyStarting strength training — it’s not too late and it doesn’t have to take hoursMicro workouts, combining cardio and strength training and ways to trading intensity for timeThe importance of recovery timeABOUT DR. ANTHONYDr. Anthony Balduzzi is a health and weight loss expert and the founder of The Fit Mother Project and The Fit Father Project — the leading health & weight loss programs for busy moms and dads over 40. Dr. Balduzzi holds dual degrees in Nutrition & Neuroscience from the University Of Pennsylvania and  a Doctorate in Naturopathic Medicine. Dr. Balduzzi is most proud of the fact that he's helped over 30,000 families in over 100 countries lose weight and get healthy through his programs.LINKSThe Fit Mother Projecthttps://www.youtube.com/@FitMotherProjectMENTIONED LINKSEmpowered Food Choices with Tess Masters DOABLE CHANGESAt the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Action is where change happens.Even though we want big change, it’s really little things done over and over that make the difference. So pick a doable thing. Put it in your calendar. Weave it through your days for a week and then move on to the next one. It will have a snowball effect.Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:DIAL IN BREAKFAST. Having a standardized healthy breakfast is a great way to start the day. You want some healthy fat, some protein, lots of vitamins and minerals. Have a plan and keep it simple. You could have an egg with sauteed greens, other veggies or berries. You could do overnight oats with hemp seeds, chia seeds, and almond milk. You could do a smoothie with protein powder, almond milk, and veggies. You can eat the same thing everyday or swap out what veggies you have with your eggs or what fruit you put in your smoothie. Some of these things you can even prep ahead. Dial in breakfast and see what that does for your day.BUILD DAILY MOVEMENT. In addition to working out, we just need to move more. Walking is great. Where can you add a walk or even better, several short walks, into your day? Can you walk for 20 minutes in the morning? Walk around the block between calls? Take a family walk after dinner? Schedule time in your weekly plan. See if you can walk every day for a week.ADD A MIXED WORKOUT. You can do a metabolic resistance training workout, that combines cardio and strength training. Think high intensity, lower time. Yes, save time and get an effective workout! You can find examples from Dr. Anthony (see links). Do this one to three times a week. Track what you do. What is actually doable for you? If a 30 minute workout once a week is what’s doable, start there.

“I believe in doable and done over perfect and procrastinated.”– MiaAt the end of every episode, I share 3 doable changes. Why? Doable changes are the key to all the big changes we want in our lives. And no matter how busy you are, doable changes work.Often when we decide we want a change, we try to take on all the parts at once or try to take a giant leap from where we are that is too hard or unsustainable.Then with a list in hand, of unchecked items, because we just made it 5 minutes ago, we start to feel overwhelmed or behind. That feeling does not help us take action.For years, I craved change. I was constantly starting a million things, doing them half assed until I could no longer bear it, then hiding, then repeating. I felt like I was part of the movie Groundhog Day!The problem was I’d try to change everything all at once, from what I ate to how I worked to my exercise routine — oh, and I would start at 5:45 am with meditation. Honestly, meditation was on my calendar for years! It tortured me, until I actually made it “doable.”Now, instead of “trying” to make a million changes at once, each week there is one thing that I actually work on. By focusing on something each week, I have found that at the end of the year, I have a beautiful set of practices or habits that are genuinely mine.You can develop new habits or practices too. Getting into FLOW doesn’t have to be daunting. You can make meaningful change in your life by choosing doable changes and committing to them.We are going to focus on food and wellness this month. I thought I would share a few tangible examples of how some of these have played out in the food and wellness area.Have you signed up for Make Time for Your Health? (Event square)14 years ago, I needed a doable change to get healthy. I had gotten some advice to go raw vegan and basically detox. I really wanted to follow through but that really did not feel at all doable to a non-cook with 3 kids under 5. To make it doable, I ate basically the same things everyday for 3 months. That got me the food change I was looking for. Once I was eating a new way and had some health and energy changes, I was able to add in more variety, but I need to make it as simple as possible to make the change doable.3 years ago, giving up alcohol was a doable change one week. I decided to not drink in any circumstance for one week. Of course that week there were a few tempting scenarios — a work party at my spouse’s work where I felt awkward, a very long day that I traditionally would have ended with a glass of wine, and a relaxed Sunday where my husband cracked open a cider. The “change” was really about riding the wave of discomfort when temptation arose. The second week, I chose a doable change for work while staying focused on alcohol. I had not made a choice not to drink ever, but I wanted to see what I could do with the discomfort. Sometimes a smaller window makes a change feel possible, and you can choose it again and again. Three years later, I am still alcohol free.114 days ago, I made a commitment to do Qigong every day. I made it a doable change and it became effortless. It felt so great on my body and soul. I have done it almost daily since. A few weeks ago, I went on a family vacation and could not find the space to do it. The truth is, I could not find a quiet space inside with Internet connection. So this week, my doable change is to practice outside without a computer some days, so I have that as a tool too. I felt different on vacation. Everything feels better with my daily Qigong practice. I’m committed to it, now my practice needs to get looser and flexible.Sometimes a doable change is finite. When we had Jadah Sellner on the show, one of the doable changes we shared really resonated with me. It was to make a self care menu. It was a small step I could take towards aligned self care in my current season. This was a step that was doable in a full week—and then it was done. A similar doable change was Jill Avey’s suggestion ot make a don’t list, while ending some things on the list took time, making the list could happen in one week. Other finite doable changes are get out in nature during the week, make a stress list, have a moon ceremony, get better roasting pans. These have all been doable changes that I made happen by defining in an easily actionable way and  fitting them into my plan for the week.There are also doable changes that I always come back to. Hydration, meditation, regular social media posting and exercise are examples of these. I feel like I encounter obstacles or a season changes or I change, and I need to figure out how to make that thing doable again, even if it felt like a pretty settled habit. My brain tries to tell me that I should not need to focus on this thing again, but when I take the time to make it doable in my current season, the change feels like way less effort. I actually just got a glass half gallon container that has made tracking water so easy in this season where I can’t seem to remember what I did an hour ago!The great thing about doable changes is they work for whatever kind of change you want. Not sure where to start or what to do? Start with how you want to feel and what would help you feel that next week.We have a huge collection of doable changes in our collection. You can listen to just about any episode of the podcast and find three options of simple steps you can take to help you make change in your health and wellness, food, work, or other parts of your life.Get started today.Get 100+ Doable Changes with Planning Sheets!MENTIONED LINKSSlow Down and Reach Your Goals with Jadah SellnerBeing Enough with Jill Avey

“A mother's love liberates.” —Maya AngelouOur kids’ teen years can be a struggle and a disruption, or they can be the medicine we need to connect to our kids AND our purpose.What does talking about this have to do with what we do around here? Many of us plan for the physical hours of mothering in the early years, but we rarely consider the time it takes to process the mental load of the later years.Listen in for all the details. Read the post for the basic idea.A few years ago Sil Reynolds and I created a container for a group of mamas for five weeks. Sil offered us this definition of motherhood, “Allowing our kids to become themselves.” I love this definition for mothering kids of all ages, and it helps me understand what has worked and what has not. Our job is not to be perfect. Our kids grow as much from what we do right as what we do wrong. Openness to evolve has been most helpful.I believe the work is ours, and often we make it about our kids.I did a lot of work on parenting in the early years that led to work on family values, family meals, less stuff. We loved the work of Kim John Payne who wrote a book called Simplicity Parenting that led to fewer toys and activity and no media. It was actually the foundation for what became Plan Simple Meals. It was simple at the beginning. As our kids became tweens and then teens, it got harder for me and my husband to agree, because we each got triggered in different ways.My experience of helping my teen who was really suffering two years ago started like one would expect. Hours combing through therapists. Daily emails to colleagues and friends who might have ideas. It was one deadend after another, until I totally surrendered.I saw the gift that was in front of me not only to help her, but to heal generations before and after us. I saw my responsibility in the situation. I saw the only way I could tap into my mama instinct in this extreme situation was to be 100% present. Sometimes that looked like sitting with her for 3 hours patiently waiting for her to eat. I started to see the connection between me being ok when she was not and her getting better. I danced with her. I hugged her often. I held my tongue hourly, and sometimes presence had me walking out the door alone.I didn’t talk about this at first. I wanted to protect my kids and to make sure I was healed too, but this phase, these challenges of motherhood kept coming up in our weekly FLOW365 calls. I wasn’t the only one spending hours looking for a tutor or therapist while not getting work done or having things fall apart at home. I wasn’t the only feeling like I wasn’t taking care of my body because I was taking care of something else.Often we think that parenting teens is less intensive than parenting younger kids, but really things just shift. Our teens still need us, but in different ways. Our role is still to allow our kids to become themselves, and that doesn’t mean stepping back.The world really wants you to parent from the outside, but this phase needs you to source from the inside.Here are 3 keys that have helped me LOVE being the mom of 3 teens (and they are still working as I move into the parent of a young adult too!).Listen. Kids want to be heard. When your teen opens up to you, try to listen without jumping to conclusions, judging them, or even trying to come up with a solution (unless you are asked).It’s hard to listen without fixing, but it builds trust and encourages them to come to you in the future.How can you listen? Each kid is different, but try: Going for a walkDuring car ridesWhile cooking or doing other things around the houseSaying goodnight, sometimes this end of the day opens them upHow do you listen without fixing? My daughter and I danced together. My son is a big fan of  the  90-second hug, which I heard about from Danielle Laporte. Mirror what you see and hear. Try simply, “I hear you.”Notice when you are projecting your fears or your own experience. Hold back in the moment, but do deal with it later.Be present. We think our teens want more independence and space from us, but teens need more emotional help than they let on. A CASA study showed that 80% of teens wanted to have dinner with their families more.Plus, the brain is not fully developed until the mid 20s. Teens need guidance and support. Because of their hormones, teens are highly susceptible to stress.So what can you do? Be present.Being present is different than the gesture of scheduling time to be with the kids.Trust that you know what your teen needs, just like you knew when your infant was hungry. If you are having trouble figuring it out, you are probably too busy.Presence needs time. If we are running around from 8 am to 6 pm, there isn’t a lot of time, and the energy we have when we are there may not be great. Try:Making a meeting for later. If you hear something, instead of reacting immediately, schedule time to talk about it later. You’ll be able to calm down, listen, and respond better. Asking for a break. Imagine you walk in the door, shuffling mail and groceries and thinking about your day, your teen pounces on you with a question. Tell your kid that if you answer now, you’ll give a false answer. Let them know when you can respond. Walking away. If you are really heated, try walking kindly to settle yourself to be present.To be present, get calm, stay close, offer loving attention. To be able to do this, take care of yourself — that’s the last, but maybe really the first key.Deal with your own stuff.I believe the work of mothering teens is ours, and often we make it about our kids. It’s easy to project when we are trying to listen to our kids. If we can deal with those triggers and projections on our own time, we are better able to listen and be with our kids.Remember that your energy is transferable. That means you need to tend to your nervous system. In FLOW365, we do this twice a month deliberately, but really everyday.When you take the time to center, you pass on your clear grounded energy to your kids. Calming your nervous system means you approach everything in less of a frenzy. If you tend to your nervous system first, you are more likely to find solutions more quickly and with more ease when you make calls or do the things you need to do for your kid.Tap into your village! It’s just as necessary as when your kids were little. Your village may have or help you find resources you need. You can talk with people about your own stuff, instead of interjecting that into conversations with your kids.And finally, let’s talk about hormones. Your kids' hormones are spiking and yours are dipping, but all of them are wacky. Understand what’s happening with you and how to work with the changes. You can work with them even if emotions are running high on both sides.JOURNALING QUESTIONSAnswer these for each person you mother.Who are you releasing into the world? What gifts has this child given you?Who have they become while living with you so far?What do they REALLY need from you now to become that person?What is the path there?MENTIONED LINKSParenting Simplified with Kim John Payne Connect, Collect and Then Direct with Kim John PayneFrom the Inside Out with Sil ReynoldsMothering with Sil ReynoldsAll About Hormones with Dr. Cabeca