Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

We are early in Spring, a time of renewal, growth, and, ideally, flourishing. I know that in my life, I've often had to renew, prune my life, weed out the shit in my mind, and reinvent myself to be the best man I can be. My guest, Teddy Woolsey, took action when his life needed an overhaul and created a system that helped him, and now he uses that in service to others. He was 100K in debt, out of shape, depressed, and in a failing relationship to being debt-free, earning 3x as much, meeting his future wife, and living in Manhattan all in under a year and 1/2. Teddy is RBLD Fitness's founder and works full-time as a Tech Sales Executive. He coaches his clients on sustainably losing fat, building muscle, and finding the balance between hard work and joy in their lives.  We discuss the danger of relying on another person for your happiness and the importance of filling your self-help bucket and putting yourself first. Society often sees men as only having value based on what they earn, create, build, and protect. Such expectations left Teddy feeling anxious, frustrated, and unworthy. You have value because you exist, not because of what you do. Listen in and let Teddy's explosive joy seep into you. Topics and Questions 1:20 - How was joy in your life? 3:09 - What made you realize your life needed to change? 7:07 - What was in your self-help bucket? 7:54 - Did you realize your happiness depended on someone else before the relationship ended? 11:25 - Did you know you were making a system at the time? 15:09 - Tell me about the RBLD Fitness Philosophy 19:40 - Step One: Tips for Reflecting 23:40 - What does being a good man mean to you? 28:34 - What brings you joy? 30:57 - What mistake got you the lesson you appreciate most? 32:35 - What do you wish more men knew? 33:51 - What's the best way for people to learn more about you? "Change your schedule and change your influences immediately! That will spark a revolution within yourself." - Teddy Woolsey Links Instagram -- @tedwoolsey RBLD Fitness -- www.rbldfitness.com Recommended book, The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

Real Men Feel invites you to redefine masculinity in today's world. The only definition of masculinity that matters is yours. We remind men that they are human beings and have the right to experience and express all of their emotions.  One of the most mentioned books among Real Men Feel's learned guests is When Boys Become Boys: Development, Relationships, and Masculinity, by Judy Chu. Based on a two-year study that followed boys from pre-kindergarten through first grade, When Boys Become Boys offers a new way of thinking about boys' development. Judy Chu is an educator, researcher, and author. She teaches a course on Boys' Psychosocial Development at Stanford University. Her book, When Boys Become Boys, highlights boys' relational strengths and how boys' gender socialization can impact their development, relationships, and well-being.  She also co-edited Adolescent Boys: Exploring Diverse Cultures of Boyhood. Judy currently serves as Chair of the Global Men's Health Advisory Committee at Movember and co-Chair of the Board of Directors at Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice. She also advises The Partnership for Male Youth and the Boys' Club of New York. Join us and discover how the comments of one thirteen-year-old boy launched a career. Judy shares that boys yearn to find out how they can show themselves to others without putting themselves at risk. The pressure to conform and be welcomed as "one of the boys" is intense and persistent.  Boys and men desire genuine, meaningful connections with other people, but some traditional masculinity aspects make such connections challenging. If you can't be your authentic self, having genuine, meaningful relationships is nearly impossible - yet those relationships are what boys long for. I had no idea that the masks many men wear start as early as they do in preschool. This conversation was enlightening and sad at the same time. Topics and Questions 1:25 - You do a lot in support of boys and young men. What first got you interested in that topic? 4:06 - Were these boys opening up and talking to anyone else? 6:17 - Tell me about the study that led to When Boys Become Boys. 10:20 - The three main points of the book. 12:27 - Does the pressure to confirm kick in when boys start going to school? 14:36 - Were the boys aware of the pressure to be more "masculine?" 20:07 - How long did you observe this group of boys? 22:23 - What surprised you the most in your research? 24:43 - What are the masculine norms for a boy in Kindergarten? 27:22 - Was there a price to pay for the boys changing their behaviors? 29:39 - Are masculine qualities more innate or learned? 31:21 - Based on what you've learned, do you have advice for parents? 38:00 - What's the best way for people to learn more about everything you are up to? "In an ideal world, you could be yourself without the risk of threat or punishment." - Judy Chu Links Judy Chu -- https://judyychu.wordpress.com LinkedIn -- https://www.linkedin.com/in/juchu/ Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

One of the most emotional relationships many of us have is with food, which is often mirrored in a love/hate relationship with our bodies. The best thing I did for my physical health last year was a program called WildFit. In late 2021, I went into a prolonged depression and gained over 30 lbs. Last summer, finally feeling better and taking positive actions, my weight was the final obstacle. That's when I discovered my guest, Eric Edmeades. Eric is a serial entrepreneur with experience in wireless networking, military research, and Hollywood film production. Today, Eric is a leading authority in Behavioral Change Dynamics. He has created and consulted on some of the world's most effective, transformative, and highly rated educational products and live events. Eric's dedication and passion for improving the quality of human lives worldwide inspired his flagship program, WILDFIT®, globally recognized as the most effective health transformation program on the market. We discuss the diet industry, food marketing, the difference between diet and lifestyle, and our emotional connections to food. I share what made the WILDFIT program unique and effective for me. It is really a health program with a great side effect of weight loss. The only species that go on diets are humans and our pets. Yet, we are the sickest animals on the planet, so clearly, something isn't working. The food in WILDFIT is based on nutritional anthropology, not the latest fads. I can't recommend WOILDFIT enough, tune in and learn why. Topics and Questions 1:25 - WILDFIT is not called a diet; why? 2:39 - How and why was Wildfit created? 5:05 - What is different about this program? 6:53 - What is the eating in Wildfit based on? 12:10 - How much exercise is required in WILDFIT? 13:05 - Andy's experience with diet and exercise before WILDFIT. 14:09 - Has food marketing always been deceptive? 17:44 - What are some common emotional issues related to food? 19:44 - Being at the mercy of unconscious parenting and conscious and deceptive marketing. 21:47 - Is WILDFIT too restrictive to live a normal life? 24:00 - Benefits and insights of the program for Andy 26:02 - If there was one "fake food" you could eliminate from the planet, what would it be? 31:00 - What are you most proud of? 32:30 - what's the best way for people to learn more about WILDFIT? "Food science you read about in mainstream press today is actually dangerous." - Eric Edmeades Links Explore WILDFIT for yourself -- GetWildfit.com Instagram -- @EricEdmeades Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel ep 294

Some common complaints I hear from men are that they feel disposable, under attack, can't do anything right, and don't know what's expected of them. It may be time for a woman's perspective on what's going on between men & women. My guest today, Reverend Leslie Peters RN, is a Curator of Intuitive & Transformational Conversations and a Trauma-Informed and Spiritual Nurse Leader. She's worked with women for 30 years and told me, "guys can't win!" How women react to men is very dependent on their relationship with their fathers in childhood. Was he emotionally unavailable? What did love look like when she was growing up? What unmet needs were created while growing up that she wants a partner to fill? When we look to others to fill our unmet needs, that relationship is in trouble. Many women say they want an emotionally available man but then experience it and are triggered and upset based on old trauma. It all comes down to trust and safety. Someone needs to be vulnerable first and start asking critical questions as early in a relationship as possible, to establish honest and safe sharing. Too many people assume their partners know what they need; most have no idea because they haven't done the inner work. Don't guess what's in somebody's head; ask. Topics and Questions 1:26 - "I wouldn't want to be a man in a relationship. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't!" 4:00 - This is not the case for all women or all men. 5:18 - Nobody else can love you enough if you don't love yourself. 5:58 - The root issue between men and women in relationships. 8:22 - How a dad treats his daughter is how she will expect other men to show love. 10:10 - Can you make it to adulthood without experiencing some level of trauma? 14:15 - Rubber band breathing. 15:58 - What's your experience with women who say they want men to be sensitive? 17:33 - We are all mirrors of each other. 18:58 - The solution for men and women in relationships. 21:47 - Are men expected to be mind readers? 26:20 - Any tips on starting such intimate conversations? 32:20 - You weren't a typical RN; tell me about your work in the trenches. 35:37 - Rev Leslie, What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "Get comfortable with uncomfortable, vulnerable conversations." - Rev Leslie Peters Links Rev Leslie Peters RN -- calendly.com/revleslie4heart Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

This year, I've begun martial arts classes for the first time, and I've been having a blast sparring with guys half my age. My guest today has a bit more experience than that and a very eclectic background. He believes embracing intense and difficult emotions is the road to a fully lived and satisfying life. My guest, Nico Verresen, is a former professional Muay Thai and Mixed Martial Arts athlete with a master's in Psychology. He specializes in resilience, performance, quality of life, and happiness. He's prepared 4 World Champions in various martial arts and, as a mindset coach, helps train business high-performers to turn their stress, setbacks, and intense conflicts into a competitive advantage. We discuss the dangers of having a high drive and great ambition but low self-esteem and the importance of choice. It is freedom of choice that brings fulfillment. Nico stresses we must chase our values, not our goals. We also explore belief's critical role in stress and the difference between pleasure and entertainment. Living a full-contact life means feeling fulfilled and no longer afraid of emotions. Topics and Questions 1:19 - Nico, How long was your fighting career? 1:29 - As a professional athlete, you had to remain calm and focused under intense physical and mental stress. Did that come naturally? 5:15 - How have your MMA skills transferred into other areas of life? 8:40 - What inspired you to go from knocking people out to helping them smile? 12:19 - What are some tips for being ambitious but enjoying the journey? 14:53 - When we first spoke, you mentioned living a full contact life. What does that mean to you? 17:57 - You can't have the feeling of victory without facing anxiety. 19:14 - Most people try to avoid stress, but you say stress can be turned into a competitive advantage. Tell me about that. 27:48 - How can we use conflict, disagreements, and fighting to create better relationships? 33:19 - Is hypnosis your preferred tool? 37:23 - Nico, what's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "You don't need to run away from any emotion." - Nico Verresen Links Nico Verresen -- nicoverresen.org Instagram -- @nicoverresen Facebook -- facebook.com/nico.verresen YouTube -- youtube.com/@NicoVerresen Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, with about 60-67% ending in divorce. As a child of divorce, I've only known them to be bitter and spiteful. My guest, Skye Michiels, is out to change that. Skye is a dad, award-winning real estate leader, motivational speaker, and host of The 6AMERS Podcast, which provides inspiration and motivation for developing a healthy mindset, setting goals, and achieving happiness. As a divorced dad of two, Skye is passionate about promoting positive co-parenting and determined to show divorced couples that a better, healthier, and happier experience is possible when a positive co-parenting relationship exists. We discuss the shame and guilt of the "leaver" in a divorce, the benefits of positive co-parenting, tips to being happily divorced, and bust the myth of staying together for the kids' sake.  Topics and Questions 1:28 - What does it mean to be very happily divorced? 2:49 - Is it possible to have a bad marriage and a good divorce? 5:01 - Does being happily divorced mean the entire divorce process was smooth and joyous? 8:41 - Is staying together for the kids realistic? 11:30 - Andy's experience as a child of divorce. 12:06 - Experience of the leaver. What helps deal with the shame? 17:35 - Do things like positive co-parenting and conscious uncoupling mean the bitter divorce is a thing of the past? 20:19 - How long did it take from saying I'm leaving to being happily divorced? 22:57 - What made you know it was time to end the marriage? 24:39 - What are some signs you are not in a great co-parenting situation? 28:20 - What are some tips for creating a positive co-parenting relationship? 30:10 - Would your partner say you are a great ex-husband? 31:17 - Does being divorced turn you off from ever being married again? 32:24 - What are some of the biggest challenges for divorced men? 33:44 - What does leading with kindness mean? 36:26 - Tell me about your podcast, The 6AMERS. 38:44 - Skye, what's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "To be a happily divorced person, you must agree on your commonalities. What's non-negotiable for both of you?" - Skye Michiels  Links  Skye Michiels on Instagram -- @skyemichiels The 6AMERS podcast on Instagram -- @the6amers Recommended Books: Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After - https://amzn.to/3YVadA2  Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel 291

I recently came across a NY Times opinion piece titled Men Need Purpose More Than "Respect" by David French. I don't read enough opinion pieces to know if I've read anything by Mr. French before, but I agreed with the headline, so I dove in. The article was in response to a viral tweet written by another man I don't know, conservative podcaster Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog on Twitter) - Which stated: "All a man wants is to come home from a long day at work to a grateful wife and children who are glad to see him, and dinner cooking on the stove. This is literally all it takes to make a man happy. We are simple. Give us this and you will have given us nearly everything we need." I don't believe men are that simple. If you don't have a grateful wife, children, and dinner, you might think that's all you need, but humans are creative and expansive creatures. There's always more. Happiness from the same thing day after day quickly wears off. Many people say that women want love while men want respect. So let's define respect. Oxford dictionary says "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements." Respect is something we get from others. We can't control what others think of us or how they treat us. Anything relying on others is on shaky ground, to begin with. If my self-worth doesn't come from within, I don't really have any. If my self-respect requires respect from others, then I have none. I'm chasing the approval and feedback of others. Let people respect you because you have integrity; you are kind, value yourself and others, and make a positive difference in the world. Demanding respect from others can get you a lot of false respect. People can act as if they respect you to make you go away. The illusion of respect could be rooted in pity or fear. But if you have a purpose. If you decide your life and actions have meaning - you will be happier. You will radiate joy - that will be noticed, appreciated, and respected. So while men may say they want respect, they need purpose. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! Join the Real Men Feel Facebook Group | http://realmenfeel.org/group YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

Before we get going, I want to warn everyone that we will discuss suicide attempts today. If you are in crisis right now - please get help. Text or call 988 in the US. Help is available 24 hours a day. For other countries, visit https://findahelpline.com/ for options near you. The goal of this episode is that our shared experiences as suicide attempt survivors offers hope and encouragement to others, to you. We also want to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and suicide prevention. The World Health Organization estimates that 800,000 people die by suicide each year. That number is undoubtedly underreported. In 2020, it is estimated that 1.2 million people attempted to end their life, and what isn't talked about enough is that millions of people go on to live full, healthy lives after attempts. My guest today is Herbie Mack. Herbie was born and raised in the South Bronx of New York, where he saw drug abuse and gang violence and experienced family trauma that caused him depression as a child, teenager, and adult. This led Herbie to become a functional alcoholic for over 11 years due to his inability to express his emotions effectively. Herbie was unaware of the signs of suicide ideation, which led to him attempting suicide multiple times. After his last attempt and years of healing, he decided not to keep his suicide attempts to himself. Topics and Questions 2:26 - Why multiple attempts? 3:20 - What were you trying to end? 4:00 - How do you define a suicide attempt? 5:28 - Herbie's story. 10:43 - Andy's experience. 13:38 - Forgiveness was the hardest thing. 16:45 - A cry for help. 19:52 - Did you need to experience multiple attempts? 22:03 - How long has it been since your last attempt? 22:17 - Do the thoughts return for you? 23:30 - How do you keep hope and healing after your attempt? 25:06 - What's the best part of being alive? 26:10 - Any advice for someone who has made an attempt and is alone? 27:40 - Any tips for someone who has found a loved one who made a suicide attempt? 28:40 - Andy's seven tips following an attempt. 30:42 - The weakest thing. 35:36 - Tell me about your podcast. 37:22 - Herbie asks Andy how his road to recovery was. 43:43 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? Links Herbie Mack -- https://herbiemack.com/ Recommended Books: 200 Powerful Positive Affirmations Vol1, Volume 2, and Still Here: How To Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | re

A semi-regular feature of Real Men Feel is Regular Guy Chats. That is when I have a conversation with an average dude with nothing to promote, just a willingness to share. The first Regular Guy Chat of 2023 features Anthony Scire. Like most men, Anthony wears many hats; personal trainer, father, husband, friend, mentor, and outdoor enthusiast, to name a few. In my experience, Anthony is, first and foremost, a good man. We discuss Anthony's experiences growing up, encountering the "man box," the ManKind Project, and wanting to be a better man. We explore doing the hard inner work, honesty, integrity, authenticity, humor, and being of service. Anthony shares a number of books that have helped him and what he's learned about himself after feeling disappointed by other men. Topics and Questions 1:16 - What prompted you to get involved with the ManKind Project? 2:59 - How did you learn what it means to be a man? 4:43 - What led you to realize that this conditioning wasn't bringing out the best in you? 5:46 - What makes the difficult inner work worth it to you? 6:53 - Is it harder to be honest with yourself or with others? 8:08 - What are some of your best skills? 10:22 - How do you know you are a good husband and father? 12:21 - Why does service matter to you? 16:43 - What are you proud of? 18:15 - What is one thing you wish more men knew? 19:22 - Can you share a habit, book, or practice that has helped you? 21:49 - What man had the biggest impact on you? 23:10 - What was the root of your disappointment in men? 26:55 - Is that pattern of being disappointed driving you to be better? 29:25 - Is there some end state of a perfect man to reach? 28:23 - What are you looking forward to? 30:06 - Anything else you want to share? 32:22 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "I want to be that person I didn't have. A better human, a better man." - Anthony Scire Links Anthony Scire -- https://www.anthonyscire.com/ Recommended Books: No More Mr. Nice Guy, Iron John, The Wonder of Boys, Do Hard Things, and The Talent Code Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

This episode asks the big questions; what drives us, inspires us, and makes us push for more than just our basic needs to be met? So please sit back, turn on your black light and get deep with us. My guest is J. Malik, a spiritual teacher, author, and speaker who emphasizes the importance of spiritual alignment in our careers, relationships, and finances. His mission is to empower men (and women) to develop healthy and prosperous relationships. His personal journey of spiritual development inspired him to share his insights as a mystic and teach others the 'science and math' of spirituality often lost in modern religion. Malik advocates for men to embrace their masculinity, leadership, and success so that women can be safe to operate in their femininity and creative flow and not from survival mode. We discuss widening the possibilities within the man box and dig into the alleged privileges of being male. Our conversation explores the danger of group identities and separation and the gifts of discipline, brotherhood, and men inspiring other men to be better. Topics and Questions 1:16 - Have you always been interested in spirituality and mystical subjects? 1:49 - Is that true for every problem? 2:23 - Tell me about your upbringing. 3:32 - Do you think a man can connect and own his masculinity without connecting with his spirituality? 6:28 - Science keeps catching up with spirituality. 8:45 - What are some things that keep men from embracing their masculinity? 13:20 - Pushing the boundaries of the Man Box. 20:27 - Many successful women take on distorted masculine energies, aka pink masculinity. 28:00 The problem with so many groups and labels. 28:52 - What are some spiritual truths you wish more people know? 36:22 - How does one begin to embrace authentic masculinity? 40:52 - What sort of fears do you see driving men? 47:50 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "I haven't come across any human problem that doesn't eventually get to a spiritual root." - J. Malik Links J. Malik -- https://www.jmalikteachings.com/ Check out The Divine Masculine Handbook - https://amzn.to/3kQwyj9 Connect with Malik on Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel