

Rude Tales of Magic
Bucket of Milk
In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk, and a tiefling hunk, specifically) who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very hard and very, very, rude.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Dec 22, 2021 • 1h 10min
Tim Platt's YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY Holiday Special
Tis the season…yeah the season to FIGHT! Tim Platt runs a made up game of YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY for Ali, Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Taylor! Featuring music from Steve Desiena. Produced by Tim Platt. Happy Holidays from all of us here are Rude Tales! See you next year ;)
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dec 4, 2021 • 1h 16min
Crossroads
Content Warning: gore, bodies, pebis
We wild for this one!
Subscribe to our sister podcast (different show same cast!) Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Talk about "Engage"-ing content! (its a star trek goof)
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nov 19, 2021 • 1h 38min
We Get to Have You
Being on the lam makes strange bedfellows, like the fang-a-toofed rhinemaidens of the Kay River's bloody muddy banks. In exchange for some much needed help the gang agrees to rescue that most precious of things, a wife! But with the Witchhunters' callstones now dotting the Cordelian Pastoral, and their newest enemy in possession of an invincible weapon (and a little standard issue razzmatazz), the cards look stacked against them like never before. Perhaps an old friend could help? They definitely have some of those. Tons, probably. Pretty sure.
Very thankful to be supported this week by The Beautiful Liar, QCODE Media's coolest, newest audio join. Give it a hear here.
Subscribe to and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Talk about "Engage"-ing content! (its a star trek pastiche)
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Nov 5, 2021 • 1h 41min
Call Me Late to Dinner
Soup's up! Come and get it! After a brutal few days on their inexorable odyssey north along the mighty Kay River, our heroes are finally given room, board, shelter, mercy, grace, a warm welcome, the red carpet, succor, respite, and a place to lay those weary bones. Why, it looks like the denizens of picaresque bayou town Froggy Creek simply cannot wait to...have...our heroes....for dinner? Wait a minute.
YO check it out: we got some limited edition art prints of Flipcup for sale in the store! Brand new!But they're limited so you better go hurry! https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/lordflipcup
The dark, brooding banjo theme this week? Why that is Dark Place by Sasha Eve, and you CAN check out their bandcamp page right here: https://mouseandbanjo.bandcamp.com Thanks for letting us use the song Sasha, it rules.
Subscribe to and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Set vazers to GOOD PODCAST.
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oct 26, 2021 • 5min
Sneak SHRIEK: Tim Platt's "What a Terrible Night"
BEHOLD, on this Pre-Hallow's Week, we present to you both tricks and treats. Available right now on the Rude Tales Patreon feed is Tim Platt's "What a Terrible Night," a decadent and terrifying descent into the cobwebbed, eldritch corners of Tim Platt's mind. WHAT HORRORS LURK BENEATH?? WHAT TERROR WAITS AHEAD?? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH TIM'S OBSESSION WITH EDIBLE SLIMES, i.e. HONEY, SAP, TOMATO SAUCE, ETC?? Only by entering the creaky door of the Rude Tales patreon may your mind come face to face with these unknowable forms. Enter....if you dare.
BE FOREWARNED: The episode you are about to experience is haunted by unearthly frights, dark eroticism, twisted irreverence, and Deth.
Tim Platt runs a game of What A Terrible Night by Logan Dean with a SCAR-studded cast of Taylor GORE, Ali Fisher-OF-MEN, Joe LeGORE, Christopher BEEstings, and Carly MonardGORE. Will they make it out of this HAUNTed House alive? Or will they DIE? Bwa ha ha! I, Tim Platt, edited the ep too so manage GORE expectations!
Logan Dean made a great game and you can get it here: https://mega-corp.itch.io/what-a-terrible-night
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oct 23, 2021 • 1h 43min
Good News, Bad News
Nothing makes a journey upriver more convenient and tolerable than that grandest of party barges, the mighty riverboat. Its vibe decadent, its pace, leisurely, its destination, romance. What better platform to view the Kay River and her picaresque environs? But wait, whats this? Complications!? Something that is, upon further investigation, not exactly what it, at first, appears to be!? HERE? In Cordelia? Well I never.
Subscribe to and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Set vazers to GOOD PODCAST.
Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Next week, we're releasing Tim's Halloween special: "Tim Platt's What a Terrible Night" and you can only get it on Patreon. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to have you. There is SO MUCH good stuff just sitting there waiting for you. Join us HERE.
Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got tank tops for your post-covid summer! We thought of everything, if everything is shirts and the other things I said!
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oct 7, 2021 • 1h 35min
Professor Outside
You're gonna want headphones for this one.
Subscribe to and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Turns out it's VERY good.
Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, we'll post the infamous LOST EPISODE, then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to have you. There is SO MUCH good stuff just sitting there waiting for you. Join us HERE.
Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got tank tops for your post-covid summer! We thought of everything, if everything is shirts!
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sep 24, 2021 • 1h 28min
The Riddled Remnant (with special guests Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan)
One second you're ambling along the Switchblade foothills, and then BOOM you're accosted by the traumatized diaspora of the festival you indirectly marooned in the desert (played by the hosts of good and beloved podcast Hey Riddle Riddle), and then juuuust when you're getting used to that BOOM a greater danger appears with heretofore unseen powers and malice. You just can't win these days! Unless, no, I shouldn't say it, it's too crazy. I just can't help but think, perhaps if you banded together with the nah, dont worry about it. What do I know, anyway? I'm just someone who cares! lol, this is a "fun one." Magnetize!
Ya GOTTA hit up Hey Riddle Riddle, the fantastic podcast hosted by our special guests Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan: Fancy, Champagne, and Thunk, respectively. We love you.
Also, our deal with INKED GAMING has returned, just go to inkedgaming.com/rudetales and use code RUDETALES for 10% off.
Subscribe to and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com
Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, we'll post the infamous LOST EPISODE, then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to have you. There is SO MUCH good stuff just sitting there waiting for you. Join us HERE.
Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got tank tops for your post-covid summer! We thought of everything, if everything is shirts!
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sep 15, 2021 • 1h 33min
You Wish
[LIVE SHOW TONIGHT! Get streaming and IRL tickets now at rudetalesofmagic.live now! Better hurry!]
Safe in the subterranean bosom of the belly of the caves of the Switchblade Mountains, our heroes awake from a well deserved rest, and yet...temptation slinks between the stalagfrights and the wonder-seeking talking dogs of these too-quiet tunnels. Why leave at all, why not stay, when everything you ever thought you wanted can be yours? Also, Stirfry makes sushi!? What a character!
Subscribe and support our new podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! Ohthesethosestarsofspace.com
Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will come and wash all the filth off these streets, then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to have you. There is SO MUCH good stuff just sitting there waiting for you. Join us HERE.
Check out our store at rudetalesofmagic.com for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show recordings, and more! We got tank tops for your post-covid summer! We thought of everything, if everything is shirts!
And follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aug 25, 2021 • 6min
TEASER: Tim Platt's Honey Heist
Last year Tim Platt (Stirfry, Smellulus, Tim Platt, Davo) decided to try and run his own game of Honey Heist. Thank god we recorded it, because it must be heard to be believed. Unfortunately the audio had severe problems. Now, a year later, it has been fully restored, and this ABSOLUTE TREASURE of a game is being released today on our patreon. Here is but one sublime taste of the absolute FEAST that awaits you over on the patreon. We'll see you in two weeks when we return to Cordelia. Until then, Heist this Honey, grizzly mama.
Produced by Kodiak Sanders
Starring Branson Reese, Ali Fisher, Joe Lepore, Christopher Hastings, Taylor Moore and the entire contents of Tim Platt's subconscious mind.
Grant Howitt (wonderful, handsome, friend of the show) wrote Honey Heist. We recommend anything by him.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


