The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us a textCheck in Question:Do you believe criminals can be truly rehabilitated in prison? Big Ideas:“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”Fear of people who are different than usThe costs of the advice trap that leads to dysfunction in teamsAdvice is personal and the transfer of it doesn’t alway flourish in another context, or with another personBest practices shift based on context, and means that there is only one.We don’t live in a linear world, so there can’t be a best. Advice creates demotivated advice receivers and overwhelmed advice giversAdvice creates a short term solaceAdvice is everywhere and we all seem to like giving it outIs sharing of information giving advice? Sometimes the expertise and advice is wrong for youThe power of the scientific process (randomized trials)Selling your idea as “THE” ideaIs the problem the assumption behind the advice and not the advice itself?The importance of drawing out the ideas of all people, and being attuned to why they aren’t sharing their ideasThe person who talks the most often has the “power” in a situation.Are we willing to share our voice and have power dynamics shift as a result?How to hold power? Being worthy of power.Power with people versus power over othersWhen we interact with people who want our advice and expect to receive itThe people who want to be told what to do, and the people who love to tell others what to doWhat about the cultures where giving advice is a natural part of life because it is a passing along of knowledge? What’s the middle way?Is advice giving a way to exert power over othersThe intention behind the advice giving has many nuancesThe dynamics of the relationship matters when it comes to advice giving/receivingReferences:The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay StanierThe Unforgivable (movie with Sandra Bullock)Adam GrantElias Porter – 6 Listening AttitudesChatter by Ethan CrossQuiet by Susan CainThe Power of Giving Away Power by Matthew BarzunThe Karpman Drama TriangleThe Wisdom of CoachingMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textWith Guest: Tames Rietdijk, founder and former CEO at Business ForensicsCheck in Question:Did you ever play hooky or cut class in school?Big Ideas:Learning as a way of lifeBalance between “living the life of my knowledge, living of the knowledge of life”Would lose perspective if I focused my learning on only one areaLiving of the knowledge of life is learning from the signs and your interpretation Sometimes your environment doesn’t always allow you to transform you into who you want to beNot using the knowledge of the past to inform the futureLearning through experiences and reflectionPutting myself out of my comfort zone to apply what I am learning from booksThe range of people’s opinions from failure to successLearning from the feedback of others that is the opposite of the feedback you would give yourselfThe importance of looking at your drivers (sometimes they are hidden)The habit of relearning The importance of seeing the business world from the inside, rather than studying it from the outsideLetting go of people who may be super productive, but who give feedback in a critical mannerThe power of silenceThe sense of reassurance and certainty that comes with data and numbersSupporting people to learn and understanding that people’s experience and maturity shifts how they learnThe difference between mentoring and coaching and how to apply them with those you leadA sense of autonomy mattersCritical and conscious thinking and the importance of being mindful of your own assumptions Recognizing your own assumptions and beliefs, so that you based your decisions on factsThe older you get, the more knowledge you gain, and the more experiences you have, yet the more stuck you are in your assumptions.Thinking your assumptions are the truth makes it harder to step back from themExperiencing the knowledge so that you internalize your learning moreThe training triangle between participants, trainer, and knowledgeReferences:Gary VaynerchukMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck in Question:If you could spend a whole day with any one person, who would it be?Big Ideas:Learning from anyone through their experiencesThinking that one has potential doesn’t commit to anything, but believing that people have the keys to their own happiness and that you are equalsSeeing your children as your teacher, rather than you as their teacher.Equalize the relationship to reduce status/rank, and exploring how the relationship shifts when we relate to them with more equityChildren not as spongers, but as mirrors.Start looking at those who we thinking can’t teach us anything, to teach us something. Shifting power dynamics so we are all on the same levelStepping down the pedestal, and/or inviting people up onto our pedestal, or giving ourselves permission to step upMoving from calling people patients to clients to create more of a partnershipFitting in, being liked, and societal shoulds being the drivers away from who we are, and our authentic selvesBalancing group dynamics with personal needsTension between who we think we are and what the group needs - finding the “right” groupTransparency about who you are as a leader and asking team to hold you accountable to being who you areWhich comes first, trust or vulnerability? Creating relationships where there is more reciprocity with intentionIn a “help relationship”, both parties are helping each otherNot needing to be someone special to support other people and have a special role in their growth and/or learningFinding mutuality in our relationshipsReferences:The Carl Rogers ReaderThe Conscious Parent by Dr. Tsabary ShefaliGedankenexperimentAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownMarc Brackett researcherSocial Identity TheoryNon Violent Communication by Marshall RosenbergHealing Circles GlobalTime to Think by Nancy KleinMary Parker FollettMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck In Question:If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Big Ideas:“Living is learning to die”Having a “north star” that is worth dying for (a just cause)Sinek’s belief that businesses are focusing on money, not on a cause.How to transition or connect a non-“sexy” business to having a just cause?Our “just cause” shouldn’t be tied to a service or product, so we can have “existential flex”How do businesses measure success? Financial, Social, Ecological?An infinite game isn’t about winning. The goal is to keep playing.Winning and losing is short-term, fixed mindset.Can you be competitive without winning? In the infinite game, the rules are consistently shifting.The business shift toward business as a result of ideas from Milton FriedmanThe shift in pay scales between employees and CEO’s over the last several decadesReciprocity and giving it backHow we latch onto ideas and how ideas can changeIs making money the primary purpose of business, or the secondary?Move people up the hierarchy of importance in businessMoving away from doing business for the shareholders, and focusing on the employees and their contributionsImbalance in how we measure financial success with regard to employees and shareholders.How to do capitalism different? Who defines capitalism? The constellation mindset rather than a pyramid mindsetA small amount of investment from a large amount of people can tip the scalesThinking of our business as hunting (short term) or farming (longing)People want to feel valued and a part of the journeyThe importance of cultivating relationships as farmersReferences:The Infinite Game by Simon SinekThe Power of Giving Away Power by Mathew BarzunAdam SmithMilton FriedmanGravity Payments The Soul of Money by Lynne TwistPodcast between Simon Sinek and Matthew BarzunMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm