Results & Relationships

Go around it. Dont wait for perfect - Its OK to go around the long way as long as you keep taking steps forward   Be kind to yourself. Dont wait for the perfect candidate, perfect opportunity or perfect idea.   Once you go around and obsticle and you make them pointless they're often happy to help you - making it appear you've walked in a straighter line that you have for an outsiders. dont compare yourself to others because you dont know the detours they have made to get it done. Focus on progress, and what's working and what is. not others and how you think it "should be" Primilary ask yourself what can you DO, instead of listening to the sceptics in your head? dont worry about what others think or say if you're not starting by enrolling the top candidate. Few succesful people did when they started. We just fool ourselves by comparing thinking everyone else had it easier to change things that we do. Usually they did not but invested effort anyone eventually making it.

Laser Focus What are you focusing on right now? So many of us imagine success as "having it all." While that may be true, the way to get there requires focus; giving up a lot of things, disappearing from the spotlight, and building that one thing that will be your contribution to the world--your legacy. The first step to achieving something is figuring out what you want in the first place. And the more you think about it, the more you realize how much harder it actually is. What is something that you like, love, and care for? What is something that you love doing so much that you can do it for the rest of your life? What is something that you're willing to grow and flourish at the expense of momentarily saying no to so many things because it will take a lot of you to turn an idea into a reality? Every success story begins with a decision to focus on one thing. Constrain how much you are doing at the moment to expand an idea that will have value five years from now, ten years from now. No one will see what you are building. They won't understand why you're so driven at something or why you are saying "no" to them or to other opportunities. It's challenging to say "no" because it's so easy to go with the flow, to get rewarded and recognized around people. But when you start saying no, because you are laser focused on opportunities that align with your goal, you have more room to say yes to the things that matter. You have more energy and mind power to absorb everything that will further you in your direction. Everything you do is connected. You grow from the right opportunities. You see things that busy people often look past. Make your timeline something important here and now and you will build something exceptional for those you care about.    

Strangled by your own convenience I know you love your comfort zone So do I. I go there to rest myself and I have to force myself out, into scary uncharted territory every time My Personal Trainer say most of us have trouble picking things up from the ground when we get old. Yet a few never have this problem Because most stop doing it when there is a tool, chair or something to assist with Those who intentionally do knit their shoes, and move every day done have this problem. for most its that convenience got in the way – making it very inconvenient eventually.     * when I was awarded consultant of the year 2013 out of 7500 consultants I was asked to hold (by consultants seeking the same fame and success) had a few presentations on a few different topics one including "How to increase your value" which often was interpreted as "How do I charge more" which surely is a side effect of the same behaviour.   YET most asking live during my talk always wanted to wiggle back to a convenient answer. Hoping they would get one word they could say when receiving an offer to increase it by 20% without effort. I then said that would then be the new normal if there was such a free upgrade as no investment needed to get more we would all be doing it explaining that whatever you do at the "negotiation" will only shift it a sliver versus say you have five overs all equally exiting in work. Then the talks would be entirely different but it's also a lot of more work. Yet in the end, you will have a lot of more options in your life than if you let convenience decide for you.     Convenience pushes the decision you know you need to make to the future     friends not behaving as you want? choose new ones, it won't be convenient for a while but that space will open up for better people if you are also willing to level up in areas that attract those you want to attract     have empathy for your naysayers Its uncomfortable buy if we dare to face that I, Ric, am not for everyone then we make better decisions. this was really hard for me, I am such a people pleaser, I really want to help everyone and that everyone love me but what I didn't understand for 70% of my life was that my behaviour made me pleasant but not truly anyone's favorite.     * Free stuff and convenience We often forget the alternative cost we pay for free stuff. Platforms and business rarely give us stuff free as a primary thing. Their primary thing is often a business selling us. Convenient now but will it really be so for your future self?   like Brene Brown say: Choose to uncomfortable now instead of resentful later.   "Discomfort brings engagement and change. Discomfort means you're doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they're hiding out in the comfortable zone. When your uncomfortable actions lead to success, the organization rewards you and brings you back for more."  The very thing that feels uncomfortable is probably the thing I should be doing at that moment. The activity that puts me on edge and tempts me to resort to procrastination – that subtle fear is indicating the task is important. so what to do about it? I believe in balance. You can't always be outside your comfort zone. You need to rest, to reflect, to have a place where you ask yourself the scary questions without falling into a deep pit but in order for that zone NOT TO shrink so much its uncomfortable small, forcing you to stand still and stiff you also need to show up with your whole self in at least a few areas that matter. that matter to you, not society but yes also that matters to your customers so you can sustain it    

How to be a person of Value Einstein said: Try not to be a person of success, Instead try to be a person of value.   So you have to ask yourself. What is VALUE those you serve? If don't value people, you will never ask yourself that question. How can I ADD value to those people? Another quote goes "Price is what you PAY, value is what you GET" Thus what your customers, friends, boss, relatives all GET from your effort and results is subjective That's why listening and acting is so important. Listening is important because you really need listen and embrace that subjective worldview of those you care about BEFORE you speak. But listening alone isn't enough. Action is required to change things. Speaking is important to clarify things. Leadership is influence. IF you add value to people, then that effort will give you more influence.

I think we need to talk about YOUR status and it's urgent we embrace the world we're living in when it comes to status. Status   Status roles are at the core of who we are. They change how we spend our time, our money and most of all, our imaginations.   I think we're getting confused of what status really means with "status updates" on platforms making most of us think someone else is getting a vacation regularly and here we are doing the dirty, hard work. Or comparing our efforts with the world's top 1% unaware of all the effort and time they have invested into getting where they are. or how platforms today use the word friend for anyone who's a childhood friend just as much as someone who's just following you because the great work you do, or just because the platform nudge-nudged you to accept it. OR thinking we're part of a community when it's just another platform. Real-life is not a blog, twitter or most platforms – yet surely community can be digital so how do we know?   Don't spend your energy thinking about other people's status versus yours. Try to be kind to yourself and constantly work towards more effort into doing the work that matters. The small work your future self will thank you for when you go to sleep tonight does A LOT more for your status than comparing ever will.   Quote: John P. Kotter Because management deals mostly with the status quo and leadership deals mostly with change, in the next century we are going to have to try to become much more skilled at creating leaders.   I think it's more urgent than ever that we become skilled at owning our OWN status and ignoring others as a comparison but embracing others status as part of driving the change we make.   IF we are so worried about our status that we don't dare to learn, done dare to be a beginner don't dare to make any mistakes we will not 100X results, because we'll be busy maintaining the status quo. Both in our inner game, as well as out doing the work that matter in organisations.   Action now, small or big is the single best way to improve the status quo. And the more forward motion we make, the better we'll get at figuring out what better looks like,  if it's a good idea, if its helping or not. Status can be just a good block from learning, as it can be for enabling learning and better.

Ric's currently reading the books "Masks of Masculinity" by Lewis Howes which led to some great conversations when he was working together with David Marquet this week on making the invisible visible using data   Techinical info: this is also the first episode on the libsyn platform only, before now I've made 355 episodes using googles feedburner AND libsyn for 5 years. Most of my list wont migrate, just sharing in case you get a glitch or something. then just unsubscribe and subscribe again and most likely all will be back to normal (but on a shorter episode list)

I'm grateful I got the chance to work with David Marque this week. I learned lot from him this week but have learned from him in so many ways like his Youtube Leadership Nudges, and also learned from people who learned from him so I felt a bit Stars-truck When we wasn't working we talked … Continue reading Self-identity and how that can blind us, in my case on arrogance →

Set things Right – whats better than right? it's easy to forget that what's right most often is a matter of worldview. Ensure to separate facts, observations and measurements from labels Both are needed to do better that lasts. We need to figure our own values, "our definition of right" before enrolling others towards change, … Continue reading Setting things right – whats better than right? →

Act as if – Do, measure, evaluate, experiment Failure, might not work as part of your identity, where it's easier to learn from failure. not fake it to you make it – where it's really hard to emotionally handle failure Most really successful people did not make ONE plan and that worked out most tried … Continue reading Act as if →