For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Do you struggle to feel truly at home in your body? We’re here to tell you; that it is possible. Our episode this week is a topic we return to often because we just can’t hear it enough; how we can heal our connections to our bodies. We have author and embodiment expert, Prentis Hemphill on the show, and she and Jen explore the idea of healing through embodied practices. Prentis shares poignant insights from their work in the Black community processing racial trauma through reconnecting to embodied cultural practices. Here’s another piece of good news–when you heal your connection to your body, you present a vision of embodied healing that radiates outward - from ourselves to our communities. That in turn can transform oppressive cultures through grounded love. The possibilities are endless when we take agency over our bodies!Jen and Prentis discuss: the definitions of somatic practices and embodied healing the role of embodiment in individual healing, processing trauma, and developing resilience the connection between individual embodied healing work and the potential for broader cultural/societal healing and transformation the lack of short-term optimism for societal change, but how unshakable faith rooted in human connection and community will eventually turn the tide * * *Thought-Provoking Quotes;"Somatics is the study of how our experiences and traumas live in the body. It's also a story of how our bodies can be resilient." - by Prentis Hemphill"I think, generally, the times I feel most free are when I'm with my people and feel fully accepted and loved. When we're eating or dancing or we're cracking up and falling off the couch is when my body feels the absolute freest — when I'm in a loving community." - by Prentis Hemphill"I love embodiment. I think a lot of it fundamentally is trying to point us in the direction of relationship and authenticity, courage, and care. I think that's when we will be most embodied is when we can live those values." - by Prentis Hemphill"I think, generally, our culture just doesn't take the space and time to grieve the things that we need to grieve. We haven't celebrated the things we need to celebrate. There's a lot of denial and that stifles our growth. It keeps us, as a society, deeply immature. And I think if we could make some space for those things, a lot would change." - by Prentis Hemphill"There are no more words that can be said. We can keep talking, but there are not really any more words to say. There's something that has to happen. It has to take root in your belly. It has to be expressed through your actions. You have to change." - by Prentis Hemphill"To do anything [to create change] is going to be contingent on our ability to stay in relationship with each other." - by Prentis HemphillResources Mentioned in This Episode;The Black Embodiment Initiative at The Embodiment Institute - https://bit.ly/3xhlAdaYou Are Your Best Thing edited by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown - https://bit.ly/3z09C88Holding Change by Adrienne Maree Brown - https://bit.ly/3RlD3IgThe Politics of Trauma by Staci Haynes - https://bit.ly/4cjpFwkWhat it Takes to Heal by Prentis Hemphill - https://bit.ly/4eoC6ZBGuest’s Links:Prentis’ Website - https://prentishemphill.com/Prentis’ Twitter - https://twitter.com/prentishemphillPrentis’ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/prentishemphillPrentis’ Finding Our Way Podcast - https://linktr.ee/findingourwaypodPrentis’ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/prentishemphillConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming in hot for our Queer Futures series, we’re bringing you an interview previously aired on For The Love’s Premium Podcast channel with celebrity Peloton instructor, Cody Rigsby. Cody has gained a devoted following through his engaging and motivational fitness classes on the Peloton platform. He talks about his memoir "XOXO Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships and Tactful Pettiness" in which he opens up about transitioning from professional dance to fitness, his relationship with his mother who struggled with addiction and bipolar disorder, and how he aims to empower others through vulnerability and self-love. With his vibrant personality and inspirational story, Cody has become a celebrity in his own right. * * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“I think the biggest obstacle to someone starting a fitness journey is feeling intimidated. You don't know what you're doing. You don't look like the people that are at the gym. Your body doesn't know what it's doing. So it's super overwhelming. So if you can take that and push it all to the side and just be like, ‘Okay, [where] in this space can I have fun?’” - Cody Rigsby“No matter how much we love anybody in our life, specifically our parents, dealing with addiction is hard. It's challenging. You don't really know the effects of it when you're a kid until you look back as an adult and be like, ‘Oh wow, that was really messed up.’” - Cody Rigsby“In life, it gets so busy. We're wrapped up in work, we really forget what life used to be or the struggles that we had and the aspirations that we have. Then you sit in the present and you have a moment of gratitude and say to yourself, ‘Wow, I have a lot of the things that I always wanted and I've let go of so many of the things that were holding me back.” - Cody RigsbyResources Mentioned in This Episode:Cody on Dancing with the Stars - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JjDU_DKpeQOne Peloton Community - https://www.onepeloton.com/blog/ XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual’s Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness - https://bit.ly/3z0FkSN  Dancing with the Stars ft. Cody Rigsby - https://bit.ly/4cjlCjv Jess King: Peloton Instructor - https://www.onepeloton.com/instructors/bike/jessicaking Robin Arzón: Peloton Instructor - https://www.onepeloton.com/instructors/bike/jessicaking Glamorous (Netflix TV Series) - https://www.netflix.com/title/81076871 Tiger King (Netflix Documentary) - https://www.netflix.com/title/81115994Guest’s Links:Cody’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/codyrigsby/Cody’s Peloton Page - https://www.onepeloton.com/instructors/bike/codyrigsby Cody’s Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/codyrigsbyfitness/ Cody’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/CodyRigsby Connect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker?sub_confirmation=1The For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This powerful episode in our Queer Futures series features an enlightening conversation about power structures with Jen and renowned author Roxane Gay and co-writer Megan Pillow. The women explore not only the concept of individual power, but how we can engage in community empowerment. Together, they delve into how marginalized communities, particularly LGBTQ+ individuals, can claim their power and challenge existing power structures to create a more inclusive and just society.Discussion includes:  Claiming Individual Power: How women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and others can assert their power in personal and professional spaces. Challenging Power Structures: The importance of calling out abuses of power and questioning the status quo Empowerment Through Solidarity: The role of community and collective action in amplifying individual voices and driving social progress. Re-examining Power Dynamics: How rethinking traditional notions of gender, race, and power can lead to more equitable outcomes. Focusing on the Margins: The significance of centering marginalized voices and experiences in conversations about power and progress. Roxane and Megan discuss practical steps that anyone can take to empower others around them. We’re encouraged to ask ourselves critical questions about our own relationships to power and to question the power sources that infringe on the rights of others and use our individual power to disrupt them. Every small act of resistance contributes to a larger movement for justice.* * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“Power doesn't affect all of us equally and some people are able to wield power or are given power, and others have power wielded against them. There are all kinds of factors that contribute to the why of that.” - Dr. Roxane Gay“When you see an abuse of power, call it out and identify it. Oftentimes power works because nobody questions it and nobody challenges it.” - Dr. Roxane Gay"We have to use voting as one tool [to enact change], but we have to figure out other ways to be involved in our communities and to enact other forms of power, not just rely on voting as the singular tool that we use to try to enact change.” - Dr. Roxane Gay“The queer future is complicated. I think the queer future is much better than the queer past, and we are really enjoying a lot of freedom. But it's not enough and until all of us are free, none of us are free.” - Dr. Roxane GayResources Mentioned in This Episode:Bad Feminist by Dr. Roxane Gay - https://roxanegay.com/books/bad-feminist/Difficult Women by Dr. Roxane Gay - https://roxanegay.com/books/difficult-women/Hunger by Dr. Roxane Gay - https://roxanegay.com/books/hunger/All of Roxane’s Books - https://roxanegay.com/books/Do The Work: A Guide to Understanding Power and Creating Change by Dr.Roxane Gay and Dr. Megan Pillow - https://bit.ly/45nxhvdThe Power Book: What is it, Who Has it, and Why? by Dr. Roxane Gay - https://bit.ly/3VBRYAlObergefell v. Hodges (2015 Supreme Court case making same-sex marriages legal in the U.S.) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obergefell_v._HodgesGuest’s Links:Roxane’s Website - https://roxanegay.com/Roxane’s Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/roxanegay74  Roxane’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/roxanegay74The Audacity (Roxane and Megan’s Stubstack Blog) - https://audacity.substack.com/Megan’s Website - https://www.meganpillow.com/Megan’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/megpillowMegan’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/megpillow77/Craftwork (Megan’s Substack Blog) - https://craftwork.substack.com/Connect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special bonus episode of the For the Love Podcast, Jen sits down with her literary hero — beloved author and teacher, Anne Lamott, whose candid, humorous writing has inspired millions to embrace their imperfect selves.Anne and Jen explore the hard-won wisdom distilled across Anne's 45-year career and 20 books - from finding radical self-love after a lifetime of shame, to surrendering to life's ordinary miracles during periods of existential crisis. With refreshing irreverence, Anne shares her lessons on unearthing your deepest, truest voice and faith that new paths are waiting, even when the way forward feels hopelessly obscured.Jen and Anne discuss The importance of radical self-love, letting go of shame, and being your own priority before trying to please or gain approval from others Having faith that there is a "shape" or path waiting for you, even if you can't see it yet, by surrendering and doing the work of self-examination The wisdom that comes with age in realizing how little you know The way small, mundane acts can be profound expressions of love and service to buoy you during dark periods For anyone who has ever felt cracked by life's circumstances, Anne's perspective provides a roadmap back to wholeness.Thought-Provoking Quotes:“[I've been] giving myself deeper and deeper permission to use my own voice and to stop trying to get people to like or respect me or to think I'm more educated than I am--which I'm not at all educated--and to just get kind of cleaner in my own being so that I could write the deepest I could go in my own truest voice and just get that day's work done one day at a time. It's like nautilus for the soul. To keep writing your truth with your own weird, quirky, way of expressing yourself and being affirmed that people seem to like it and to keep going.” - Anne Lamott"What love manifests is making more mistakes. Knowing as a writer, that a pile of papers and notes and index cards is a fertile field, and you don't need to know what you're going to do with them. They know what you're going to do with them. The material knows what you're going to do with it, and it's going to get back to you as it trusts more and more that you're a reliable narrator." - Anne Lamott“We do some deep dive into the obstacles to radical self-love and to just surrendering to the path of goodness or God or the holiness. The first thing God says to Moses is 'take off your shoes. Feel the earth beneath your feet. This is holy ground.' And that is what God has for you, starting right now. Take off your shoes and wiggle your toes in the earth. Look up. Breathe in. And when you are restored from what you've been through, all this nautilus for your soul you've been doing, you're going to step forward into that shape.” - Anne LamottResources Mentioned in this Bonus Episode: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life - https://bit.ly/3K1JZGgSomehow: Thoughts on Love by Anne Lamott - https://bit.ly/3ytWzeKThe American Way of Death by Jessica Mitford - https://bit.ly/3JZCP5sHard Laughter: A Novel by Anne Lamott - https://bit.ly/4bFcO7bFive Rules of Being a Grown-Up (Article by CJ Green) - https://bit.ly/4bXbmxl8 Best Anne Lamott Books -https://bit.ly/3yoWbyjGuest Links:Twitter - https://twitter.com/annelamott/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/annelamott/Penguin Random House - https://sites.prh.com/annelamottConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - http://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jen Hatmaker revisits one of the most impactful and downloaded episodes from her "For the Love" podcast's 7-year history. In this powerful encore, she has a candid conversation with acclaimed writer and speaker Jonathan Merritt who publicly comes out as gay for the first time during their interview.Jen and Jonathan reflect on their intertwined journeys - she as an ally leaving the evangelical world, he as a prominent faith voice reckoning with his sexuality. Brace yourself for an emotional, insightful look at the joy and pain of Jonathan's coming out experience. This is one powerhouse episode you won't want to miss again (or for the first time!).* * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“I had a choice. I could either leave the idea of being loved in that way and loving in that way behind and to get belonging and acceptance, or I could choose to be rejected by the people that I was given as a family and a faith community and I could go off on my own way and try to find love. And that's a tough decision.” – Jonathan Merritt “I'd grown up hearing this, ‘we hate the sin, we love the sinner.’ And yet, everywhere I looked was all this sin-hate. And there was no marking of loving these people.” – Jonathan Merritt“The number one reason that someone changes their views on homosexuality or same-sex marriage is how they answer the question, ‘Do you have a close family member or friend who is gay?’” – Jonathan Merritt“I live in an Episcopal seminary. You feel hundreds of years of prayers that have been prayed here by good people. People who joined the Civil Rights Movement. And people who were marching after the Stonewall Riots. And people who did it because they loved Jesus and not in spite of that fact.” – Jonathan Merritt"American evangelicalism is predicated on the existence of an enemy to fight, and that keeps people coming to church. It's the need to be against, right? And people revel in that, that's the selling point." – Jonathan MerrittResources Mentioned in This Episode:Love is the Game Changer of Our Faith: Bishop Michael Curry - https://bit.ly/3BQ2FUlHow to Create a Politics of Love: Lisa Sharon Harper - https://bit.ly/3IdV3gWJen Hatmaker: Trump, Black Lives Matter, Gay Marriage & More - Jonathan Merritt - https://bit.ly/3IhrUS0Christian Rock Star Comes Out as Gay in Letter to the World - Jonathan Merritt - https://bit.ly/3siB9MsEugene Peterson on Changing His Mind About Same-Sex Issues and Marriage - Jonathan Merritt - https://bit.ly/3LXWlyXLeading Evangelical Ethicist is now Pro-LGBT (David Gushee) - Jonathan Merritt - https://bit.ly/3LVOTUVA Faith of Our Own: Following Jesus Beyond the Culture Wars - Jonathan Merritt - https://bit.ly/3Vvj8J6Dr. Michael Lindsay - Sociologist & Author - https://www.taylor.edu/about/president-profileJames Martin - Jesuit Priest - https://www.instagram.com/jamesmartinsj/My Guncle and Me by Jonathan Merritt - https://www.amazon.com/My-Guncle-Me-Jonathan-Merritt/dp/0762485612Guest’s Links:Website - https://www.jonathanmerritt.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jonathan_merritt/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/JonathanMerrittConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jen and award-winning author, Kelly Barnhill, discuss the powerful themes and inspirations behind her genre-defying book "When Women Were Dragons." Sparked by her outrage during the Kavanaugh hearings, Barnhill created a bold metaphor where women transform into dragons to escape societal oppression.In this conversation, she delves into her controversial ending that ultimately represents the multitude of paths to female empowerment. Barnhill also examines the dangerous historical pattern of silencing trauma and marginalized voices, from the 1918 flu to violent racial tensions.Jen and Kelly discuss: “When Women Were Dragons’" exploration of women transforming into dragons as a metaphor for rebelling against oppression and societal constraints. The ending and how it represents there are multiple valid paths for women's empowerment - some transformative, others finding power in conventional roles. Highlights about the historical pattern of silencing traumatic events and oppression of marginalized groups. Portrayals of womanhood as expansive and defying rigid societal definitions of what a woman is or can be. Novel Summary:"When Women Were Dragons" by Kelly Barnhill is a feminist fantasy novel that explores themes of female empowerment, societal repression, and transformation. Set in an alternate 1950s America, the story revolves around a mysterious event known as the "Mass Dragoning of 1955," where a significant number of women across the country inexplicably turn into dragons and fly away, leaving behind their human lives.The protagonist, Alex Green, navigates life in the aftermath of this event. She grows up in a society that tries to suppress and erase the memory of the dragonings, facing the stigma and secrecy surrounding the topic. Alex's journey involves uncovering family secrets, particularly those related to her aunt Marla, who was one of the women who transformed. As Alex learns more about her aunt's life and the circumstances of the dragonings, she begins to understand the broader implications of the event and its connection to women's liberation and agency.* * *Guest’s Links:Kelly’s Website - https://kellybarnhill.wordpress.com/Kelly’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/insufferable_blabbermouth/Kelly’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/kellybarnhillBooks & Resources Mentioned in This Episode:The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill - https://bit.ly/3Vd01m3The Book of Dragons: An Anthology - https://bit.ly/4bO3ldNKavanaugh Hearing - https://supreme.justia.com/justices/brett-m-kavanaugh/1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic - https://bit.ly/3ysjfvXThe Book of Love: A Novel by Kelly Link - https://bit.ly/4btgQzNNettle & Bone - https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250824776/nettleboneConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - http://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker?sub_confirmation=1The For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s top episode from the archives is our number one most listened to episode. In a profoundly moving encore episode, Jen Hatmaker shares the story of interviewing her daughter, Sydney, as Sydney shared her emotional coming out story. This raw conversation follows Sydney as she vulnerably shares her journey of accepting herself as gay while still holding onto her faith–and we’re very excited to share this again during Pride Month as part of our Queer Futures series.Jen reintroduces the episode reflecting on what’s changed since this conversation and how it’s affected her community. Three years later, this episode remains an incredible force, sparking deep discussions around LGBTQ+ issues and Christianity in our community. Jen recalls the immense reach and impact this episode evoked - from mending broken family relationships to causing church leaders to reevaluate their approach. As Jen reflects on Sydney’s growth, it’s a beautiful reminder that embracing authenticity allows people to flourish.* * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“I was just scared, and alone. And I wanted to have it all. I wanted to have my family, and God, and my future. And I didn't think I'd be able to have it all.” -Sydney Hatmaker“It doesn't matter how loving you are, or what emphasis on Scripture you come with. That's not enough if you're not fully accepting them as children of God.” -Sydney Hatmaker“Your allyship can't be about you, and it can't be performative, and it has to be for everybody. And it has to be about love.” -Sydney HatmakerConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker?sub_confirmation=1The For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this emotionally charged last episode in our For the Love of the Matriarchy series, Jen shares an intimate and profound conversation with Christine Blasey Ford, who came into the public eye when she testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee on September 27th, 2018, while it was considering the nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court; describing an alleged sexual assault by the Supreme Court nominee that took place at a high school party in the 80s. Christine, with brave vulnerability, opens up about her harrowing experience in the aftermath of her testimony and the tsunami of public scrutiny she faced. Through her story, we're reminded of the incredible power of women when we come together, support one another, and find our collective voice against injustices. This episode is not just a dialogue; it's a clarion call to all women to connect, share, and empower each other in a world that often seeks to silence us.Christine shares with Jen: the moment she heard that Brett Kavanaugh was on a short list of Supreme Court justice nominees and the immediate reaction that she needed those in power to know the truth the emotional toll the aftermath of the experience took on Christine and her family, and the safety measures they had to employ because of constant death threats why she decided to write a book, One Way Back, to tell the story now, citing what she learned through the experience and what she knows now about the many other women in history who have also spoken their truth about sexual harassment and assault the incredible amount of support she received from women and sexual assault survivors in the form of letters, which carried her through some of the most difficult moments Jen and Christine's conversation underscores a crucial message: when women connect, we're not just powerful together; we're unstoppable.* * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“It took many years to feel that I was ready to say something and to break the silence. I had been silent for so long. I was feeling a little bit guilty even, for having so much focus and learning about the contributions of so many other women in so many different venues who have spoken up against sexual harassment and sexual assault. And I just thought, 'Wow, I need to share all the things that I didn't know beforehand. Maybe I could share them and maybe it will help someone.'" - Christine Blasey Ford“The system can often work in ways that make [women] feel divided and makes us feel negatively towards each other. But when we actually connect, we're really powerful together.” - Christine Blasey FordResources Mentioned in This Episode:Christine’s Senate Judiciary Committee Testimony - https://bit.ly/3UzlYeof One Way Back: A Memoir by Christine Blasey Ford - https://bit.ly/4dHlk7CWashington Post Article featuring Christine Blasey Ford - https://bit.ly/4bjFNh3Guest’s Links:Christine’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/christine_talkinout/Christine’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/fordchristine66Connect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we’re diving into the profound biological, psychological and social shifts experienced when becoming a mother - a process known as "matrescence.” Jen sits down with science journalist, Lucy Jones, who experienced a seismic identity shift that arose after the birth of her first child.  Lucy and Jen unpack groundbreaking neuroscience research and they expose the deep-rooted myths and unrealistic expectations surrounding modern motherhood. From the minimizing of postpartum struggles to the pressure of "natural birthing" ideals, Lucy reveals how these systemic fictions can breed shame, isolation and maternal mental health crises.Jen and Lucy discuss: The concept of "matrescence" - the biological, psychological and social transition to becoming a mother that renders profound identity changes How modern cultural myths and idealized notions of motherhood as blissful and "natural" can be deeply alienating and contribute to maternal mental health issues The systemic lack of scientific research and societal rituals to prepare and support women through the seismic transformation of matrescence The need to construct new narratives, share vulnerable experiences, and build community care around the modern realities of the matrescence * * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“[Matrescence] is a very simple concept that means the process of becoming a mother. The word is a little bit like 'adolescence'. It was coined by the late American anthropologist Dana Rafael in the 70's. She also coined the word 'doula'. She first wrote about it in an essay collection published in 1974 where she talks about how, in most societies and cultures across the world, people have always had a sense that a mother is born when a baby is born. But she also describes your identity, your social relationships, your roles, your everyday life, your mind, your psychology, and your emotions." - Lucy JonesResources Mentioned in This Episode:Matrescence by Lucy Jones - https://bit.ly/4dDYI83Foxes Unearthed by Lucy Jones - https://bit.ly/44E9UxpLosing Eden by Lucy Jones - https://bit.ly/4byVO2kDana Rafael (an American Anthropologist) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dana_Raphael “The Birth of a Mother” (A New York Times Article by Alexandra Sacks) - https://bit.ly/4bow0WK2017 NIH Article on Pregnancy Leading to Changes in the Brain - https://bit.ly/3UAGiMKOf Woman Born by Adrienne Rich - https://wwnorton.com/books/Of-Woman-Born/Andrea O’Reilly - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_O'ReillyGuest’s Links:Lucy’s Website: https://lucyfjones.com/Lucy’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lucyjonesLucy’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucyfjones/Lucy’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lucyjonesbooks/Connect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmakerThe For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Matriarchy series, we explore how deeply ingrained patriarchal narratives can create a policing effect on the behavior of women. Author, Elise Loehnen, discusses her book "On Our Best Behavior" which examines how concepts like the seven deadly sins have historically been used to restrict women's behavior and police their adherence to an idealized form of "goodness." Loehnen unpacks the insidious ways women are culturally conditioned from a young age to suppress normal human drives like anger, ambition, and sexuality. And how disrupting rigid gender stereotypes is important when raising the next generation in order to build a more compassionate world. Jen and Elise discuss: How women are culturally conditioned and expected to embody "goodness" while men are oriented toward power  How concepts like the "seven deadly sins" have historically been used as a patriarchal "punch card" to police women's behavior Why raising boys to have an emotional inner life nurtures positive identity development The current era of politics that calls for women to challenge the patriarchal system while also having compassionate dialogue to build a new, care-centered world where everyone can flourish * * *Thought-Provoking Quotes:“Women are trained for goodness and men are trained for power.” - Elise Loehnen“The worst thing for a woman is reputational harm--just the assigning of her badness. Bad mother. Toxic coworker. Toxic boss. Unkind. She says the wrong thing. And it's sort of impossible to defend yourself against that. We have zero tolerance, and it's very scary.” - Elise Loehnen"We need a culture where the men are like, 'I would like to be more like women. I need to be caring. I want to be nurturing and creative. And yes, I can be strong and I can be masculine, but I also need this underdeveloped muscle.'" - Elise LoehnenResources Mentioned in This Episode:On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen - https://bit.ly/44tz41DGoop - https://goop.comFor the Love of Being Seen and Heard ft. Lori Gottlieb - https://bit.ly/4b8YT9CMaybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb - https://bit.ly/3JO7FOnEvagrius Ponticus (Fourth Century Christian Monk) - https://bit.ly/4b7zEV5Pope Gregory on the 7 Deadly Sins - https://bit.ly/3y1J1XKHarvey Weinstein Abuse Cases - https://bit.ly/4b5ktM5Carol Gilligan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_GilliganIn a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan - https://bit.ly/3JQ9IBh  Human Voice by Carol Gilligan - https://bit.ly/3UQ1RcnAndrew Tate - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_TateOrder, Disorder, Reorder (An idea Developed by Richard Rohr) - https://bit.ly/44xzHqKFor the Love of The Enneagram ft. Richard Rohr - https://bit.ly/3QzzZaWLoretta Ross - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loretta_RossGuest’s Links:Elise’s Website - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/Elise’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/Elise’s Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/eloehnenElise’s Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EliseLoehnen/Elise’s LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/elise-loehnen-b867523/Pulling the Thread (Elise’s Stubstack Blog) - https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/Pulling the Thread (Elise’s Podcast) - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodesConnect with Jen!Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker?sub_confirmation=1The For the Love Podcast is a production of Four Eyes Media, presented by Audacy. Four Eyes Media: https://www.iiiimedia.com/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices