The Conversation Factory

How do you make a friend? How do you become lovers with someone? How do you become business partners? In RomComs, there’s a “meet-cute”...the hilarious and unlikely way two people in this topsy-turvy mixed-up world collide and fall madly, rapidly in love.  In the real world, taking time and gradually testing, trying and yes, prototyping a relationship is ideal. In love, we call it dating. There’s no good word for “friend-dating”, especially when you’re doing it with someone of the same sex.  And with founding a company…where does the conversation start? In this conversation, I sit down with Jane Portman and Benedikt Deicke, co-founders of Userlist, on how they connected through shared communities, and learned how each other really worked through real-world, previous projects. They also share their insights on setting the stage for both a long-term vision for building a company AND for a possible exit from a partnership through thoughtful conversations. Userlist is a tool for sending behavior-based messages to SaaS customers and recently completed a pre-seed round with 21 angel inventors. Benedikt is a software engineer from Germany who loves to plan, build, and grow web applications. He co-hosts the Slow And Steady Podcast and organizes the Femto Conference, a tiny conference for self-funded tech companies. Jane is a leading UI/UX consultant specializing in web application design, and has been the host and founder of the  UI Breakfast podcast since 2014 (she kindly invited me to join her show in early 2022). Enjoy my conversation with these two delightful co-founders as much as I did. Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes, and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Links UI Breakfast Userlist benediktdeicke.com Better Done than Perfect podcast  Jane's Story: Turning Thirty: Story of My Life Culture, Values, Operating Principles & More Inspire, Not Instruct: How We Do User Onboarding at Userlist

Today I host a conversation with Carolyn Gregoire and Scott Barry Kaufman, the co-authors of the 2015 bestseller, Wired to Create. Their working title was “Messy Minds” and one of the core ideas of the book is just that - deeply creative folks can manage messiness, plow through paradox and move calmly through contradiction. These capacities are also powerful tools for managing a creative relationship. I’m doing a series of interviews with co-founders on how they design their conversations (ie, their broader relationship) and manage themselves and each other while building and running a company.  A book is a mini-company, and so when I met Carolyn through a friend, I thought she and Scott would be amazing folks to unpack how a high tolerance for dissonance, complexity, ambiguity, and chaos can help us make amazing things, together. Creativity, making something new, isn’t ever a clear linear progression towards the dream, the magical ideal goal. There’s always iteration, recursion, re-invention…and being patient with the process, your creative partner and yourself - that last one is a truly powerful key. One of my favorite insights was the idea of the importance of sensitivity and awareness of your own inner state and the willingness to take downtime…both to manage yourself, refuel and to trust that stepping back will always help - since constant production isn’t possible! One thing you’ll hear over and over again is the complementarity and flow in a positive creative relationship: being able to feed back and forth between each other and also give and take, grounded in respect and admiration for each other's skills and contributions. This respect for the other’s skills allows for a dramatic increase in output through parallel work, or relay-race style collaboration. Make sure to check out Carolyn’s other writing and book doula work at carolyngregoire.com and Scott’s podcast, course, and his recent best-selling book, Transcend, at scottbarrykaufman.com. Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes  and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Links Carolyn Gregoire's website Scott Barry Kaufman's website Wired to Create, by Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire Trust the Process, by Shaun McNiff The Messy Middle, by Scott Belsky Origami: From Angelfish to Zen

I’m excited to share this rambling and wide-ranging conversation with Srinivas Rao. Srini is the host of The Unmistakable Creative Podcast, and has recorded over a thousand episodes with such luminaries as Danielle Laporte, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me! Srini describes his podcast as “If TEDTalks met Oprah”. Srini has interviewed so many different types of folks, from bank robbers to billionaires. He also has a business degree from UC-Berkeley and an MBA from Pepperdine   University. We talk about podcast interviewing (meta, I know!) and we unpack a topic that’s close to both of our hearts: creative output. One of my early podcast episodes was with Sara Holoubek, CEO of Innovation Systems consulting firm Luminary Labs. Sara introduced me to the idea of having what she called an “Intelligence Engine'' - a process by which organizations turn insights into action and action into opportunities, not just every so often, but consistently and regularly. It’s not a dissimilar idea from Jim Collins’ “Flywheel effect” in that, ideally, you tune up your engine often, and even upgrade it when you need to. One of my core beliefs is that conversations exist at different scales, and that they act in similar ways at these different scales. I also might take the idea of a conversation too far…in that I feel that any iterative, adaptive cycle is, in essence, a conversation. So, Sara’s Intelligence Engine is essential for a healthy, growing company’s conversation with the world - after all, intelligence at the product and/or organizational innovation level requires a consistent cycle of making or creating new things, testing or trying those things out and reflecting on how it went, ie, harvesting insights. That’s an innovation conversation, at scale. That cycle is pretty much the same at the level of the individual. We all need to seek new input, make and try new things, and then reflect and inspect the results. Serendipity Engine vs Intelligence Engines vs Curiosity Engines As with organizational intelligence, individual intelligence engines need to have a balance of intention and wandering. We need to be actively seeking new insights and ideas that matter to us, while also being open and curious about the unexpected. So, having a curiosity engine, like my guest Glenn Fajardo suggested  in our episode on connecting remote teams, is a powerful way to rev up your intelligence engine, for yourself, your team and your organization. Managing the flow of input, insight, and output If there is one key takeaway from this episode, it’s that the open/explore/close // diverge/emerge/converge ARC of our own intelligence conversation is input-insight-output.   Srinivas’ top tips for building your own personal intelligence engine:   Limit your Input Diversify your input Read books, not articles (they’ve digested complexity already!) Use a networked tool to capture your smart notes (srivas recommends Mem.ai which I also use!) Reflect and Connect dots regularly Monotask to reduce the cognitive costs of task switching (check out my friends at Caveday and use the code 1STMONTHONE to get month of community-based monotasking support for $1 or use TRYACAVE21 to get your first cave free) Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes, and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Links The Unmistakable Creative podcasthttps://podcast.unmistakablecreative.com/ Sara Holoubek on Human Companies and Solving Problems that Matter Three Systems Every Creator Needs to Build by Srinivas Rao You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy The Life-Changing Science of Detecting Bullshit Effortless Output in Roam course by Nat Eliason How to Take Smart Notes by Sönke Ahrens Maximize Your Output course by Srinivas Rao

This episode, Dr. Natalie Nixon and I dig into not just what it means to be creative, but also how leaders can create space for creativity and inspire it in their teams by letting in a little chaos. Dr. Nixon is the author of The Creativity Leap, a creativity strategist, and a highly sought-after keynote speaker. In this conversation, we dive into the ideas behind her book, what makes someone "a creative" (hint: it involves being deeply human), and how important humanity and creativity are to the future of work - Natalie and I agree that we should let our AI overlords do what they do best…and we humans should focus on what we do best - be creative and empathetic! Natalie and I have three unexpected things in common: Ballroom dancing, an enthusiasm for Chaordic Thinking, and a deep sense that these two things are deeply intertwined! Dancing looks to regularly resolve the dynamic tension between chaos and order, and find a state of flow between the two. Chaordic Systems Thinking, if you’re new to it, was first coined by Dee Hock, the founder and former CEO of VISA. He felt an ideal organization would balance order and control with disorder and openness, moving between them as it grew. Chaordic is just a made-up word combining chaos and order. I made a basic diagram of Chaordic systems Thinking for my book, Good Talk. Total Order (O, on the right) is oppressive and stultifying. It also doesn’t deal well with surprise or adapt to unpredictability. Total chaos (C, on the left) can mean a total collapse of a given system - as Natalie says, without any boundaries, what is it even!?!  A chaordic system moves between the poles of chaos and order, spiraling outward, growing and expanding as it does. A conversation can be chaordic, too, by the way. For example, in a workshop, I sometimes feel the noise of collaboration and conversation rise, and I wonder, “Is this the moment to rein things in and move the conversation forward?” After all, sometimes that golden “aha” moment is just around the corner, just past my capacity to enjoy the chaos. In the chaos and randomness, new patterns are sometimes found. Like in jazz, those new patterns are then played with, firmed up, made more orderly…until they get too controlled, boring or repetitive. Then the chaordic cycle swings back towards chaos.  This is why, as Natalie points out, good leaders are also good followers: they are open to changing environments, and take the best of what’s emerging, reading their team and adapting to new situations. Natalie and I also unpack the misunderstandings many folks, leaders included, have around the idea of being creative - one of most damaging being that the word doesn't (or can't) apply to them. Natalie's ideas on creativity and flow are critical for the future of work, and something that every leader, whether you lead a team of artists or a team of accountants, needs to hear. Enjoy the conversation! Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes  and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Links figure8thinking.com The Creativity Leap by Natalie Nixon Your "invisible work" is key to your most productive self by Natalie Nixon The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul There is Confusion by Jessie Redmon Fauset How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia by Mohsin Hamid Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney Sand Talk by Tyson Yunkaporta Sand Talk: How Indigenous Thinking Can Save the World, interview with Tyson Yunkaporta

I'm thrilled to be able to share this conversation with Carrie Melissa Jones with you! Carrie is the co-author of Building Brand Communities, with Charles Vogl, and she's kind of a big deal in the community-building world. She's also an alum of the facilitation masterclass and a friend.  This is Part Three of a Three-part, wide-ranging conversation.  You can enjoy this conversation even if you haven’t listened to parts one and two, but you can find the link to them here. Today, We explore a topic of great importance and impact - how to make a creative partnership work…something I am thinking of as being a “Conscious Cofounder”. Carrie reflects on the journey she took in creating her book with her co-author, as well as sharing her lessons learned along the way about helping a partnership ride out the inevitable dips and bumps that happen along the way. Enjoy the conversation as much as I did! Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes  and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Also: I use and love REV for the accurate transcripts they make for me...it makes making my podcast notes and essays more meaningful and insightful. I love reading the transcript and listening to the session at the same time….it really gets the conversation into my brain! I also use the automated transcription feature for my coaching clients to help them get maximum value from our sessions. Head over to http://bit.ly/tryrev10off to get $10 off your first order. In full transparency, that’s an affiliate link, so I’ll get $10 too! Links Communities are Conversations parts 1 and 2 Carrie's Website Podcast episode: Being a Beginner is Often the Key We Need for Empathy and Creativity Building Brand Communities, by Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles H. Vogl The Power of Ritual with Casper ter Kuile

How do you turn a question, a problem, or just a list of needs, into an agenda? At the close of a recent cohort of the facilitation masterclass, the participants were still sitting with some big questions. Which is good, because that's what the closing session is for! But I felt that some of these questions were too big for one conversation. So, I invited four alums of the facilitation masterclass to come together and share some thoughts on a fundamental challenge: turning a question into a conversation, an agenda and an arc.  I’m joined by  Erica O’Donnell, a hybrid professional working at the intersection of design thinking, strategy, facilitation, and innovation, Kyle Pearce, a leader in collaborative change with an extensive background in the health and social services sector. Frankie Iturbe, a Program Manager at Newsela, a K12 EdTech company And Kate Farnady, Director, Chief of Staff, Strategic Technologies at Autodesk, and also the community coordinator for the Conversation Factory Insiders’s Group! We only scratched the surface, but there's lots of goodness in here. Just a few of the things we discussed: How stated goals may not always have the whole group aligned with them, and what to do about it. Sharing responsibility for the agenda and outcome with stakeholders and session attendees How good insights can sometimes arise even in spite of (or perhaps because of) chaos Different approaches to facilitating agendas around messy goals and questions If you want to dive deeper, check out my course on the 9Ps of meeting planning. I'd also recommend signing up for the conversation factory insiders group...we ran another deep dive on this question, reflecting on the question "why do I need an agenda?" and sharing our responses together. You can join here and check out that session as a subscriber here. Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes  and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Also: I use and love REV for the accurate transcripts they make for me...it makes making my podcast notes and essays more meaningful and insightful. I love reading the transcript and listening to the session at the same time….it really gets the conversation into my brain! I also use the automated transcription feature for my coaching clients to help them get maximum value from our sessions. Head over to http://bit.ly/tryrev10off to get $10 off your first order. In full transparency, that’s an affiliate link, so I’ll get $10 too! Links Kate on LinkedIn Frankie on LinkedIn Erica on LinkedIn Good Seed Digital Think: Act Consulting

I'm thrilled to be able to share this conversation with Carrie Melissa Jones with you! Carrie is the co-author of Building Brand Communities, with Charles Vogl, and she's kind of a big deal in the community-building world. She's also an alum of the facilitation masterclass and a friend.  This is Part Two of a Three-part, wide-ranging conversation. You can enjoy this conversation even if you haven’t listened to part one, but you can find links to that episode here.  Today, We dig deeper on the subject of community as a conversation. As Carrie says, every community starts with a conversation, and conversations are what sustain communities and hold them together. You’ll learn about the pitfalls of trying to manufacture and own every aspect of a community, the importance of many-to-many conversations in communities, and why you need to think about your community as a circle, not a megaphone. You’ll also hear more about Carrie’s perspective on the importance of inner work for community builders. The less I say the better! If you haven’t checked out part one, you can still enjoy part two…but you can find the link to part one below. Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Also: I use and love REV for the accurate transcripts they make for me...it makes making my podcast notes and essays more meaningful and insightful. I love reading the transcript and listening to the session at the same time….it really gets the conversation into my brain! I also use the automated transcription feature for my coaching clients to help them get maximum value from our sessions. Head over to http://bit.ly/tryrev10off to get $10 off your first order. In full transparency, that’s an affiliate link, so I’ll get $10 too! Links: Communities are Conversations, Part 1 Carrie's Website Podcast episode: Being a Beginner is Often the Key We Need for Empathy and Creativity Building Brand Communities, by Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles H. Vogl The Power of Ritual with Casper ter Kuile

I'm thrilled to be able to share this conversation with Carrie Melissa Jones with you! Carrie is the co-author of Building Brand Communities, with Charles Vogl, and she's kind of a big deal in the community-building world. She's also an alum of the facilitation masterclass and a friend.  In this wide-ranging conversation, we dig deep on the subject of community as a conversation. As Carrie says, every community starts with a conversation, and conversations are what sustain communities and hold them together. Some of what we cover in this 3-part episode: What community really is, and how organizations get it wrong The power of online relationships and how they can help us How the community-builder affects the community The inner work that goes along with community building, and how that affects brand communities The conversation that launched a book - the story of Building Brand Communities The difference between meaningful engagement and empty engagement Why brand communities? What role do they play in rebuilding our social fabric? How modern community-building efforts are still being shaped by outdated ideas Parts 2 and 3 are coming soon! Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes  and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Also: I use and love REV for the accurate transcripts they make for me...it makes making my podcast notes and essays more meaningful and insightful. I love reading the transcript and listening to the session at the same time….it really gets the conversation into my brain! I also use the automated transcription feature for my coaching clients to help them get maximum value from our sessions. Head over to http://bit.ly/tryrev10off to get $10 off your first order. In full transparency, that’s an affiliate link, so I’ll get $10 too! Links Carrie's Website Podcast episode: Being a Beginner is Often the Key We Need for Empathy and Creativity Building Brand Communities, by Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles H. Vogl The Power of Ritual with Casper ter Kuile

I can’t believe it’s taken me SO long to share this conversation with the Amazing Elise Foster. Elise is a powerful coach, an accomplished author, and a friend. She’s the co-author of The Multiplier Effect with Liz Wiseman and Beautiful Questions in the Classroom with Warren Berger (who’s written several bestselling books on powerful questions). She was a thinking partner for me when I was in the early stages of writing my second book, and I was shocked and honored when she decided to come to my Facilitation Masterclass and even more shocked and honored when she actually got something out of it - proving that it really is more about what they practice and the container I create than what I teach! I’m also honored that she’s been a great member of the Conversation Factory Insiders’ group - we started 2 years ago with alums of the masterclass meeting monthly for experiments and intentional practice, and 2 years and 22 sessions later, we’ve all learned a tremendous amount about leading groups online. Elise was kind enough to lead a session for the community on the QFT, a Question Formulation Technique from the Right Question Institute which has shifted how I think about Powerful Questions and how I coach teams on them, too. In this conversation, I wanted Elise to unpack not just some of her favorite “Eye Opener” warmup exercises to help get teams to think differently, but also how she thinks about bringing them into sessions with teams, and why they matter. Lots of folks talk about icebreakers - and they can be helpful to help us connect to each other from afar…but they are such a broad class of activities - they can include games like “Two truths and lie” which are just about connecting people as humans or “three things”, a classic improv game which helps folks just warm up their brains. Priya Parker asks folks to check into the chat with where they are and what actual substance is beneath their feet, to help ground and connect us. Eye-openers are both about what we do, as leaders and coaches of people in the moment, in order to create an experience for people…and eye-openers are also about how we help people reflect and unpack that experience and how to connect it to a larger idea about transformation and development. Elise kicks our conversation off by talking about the “Hand Clasping Game”, a classic exercise that you can try now since we talk about it, but don’t give it enough time to “breathe” in the conversation. Just clasp your hands together naturally. Of course, this assumes you have two hands. If this doesn’t apply to you, I hope you can imagine the process. Now, unclasp your hands and “reclasp them” but shift hands - whatever hand was “pinky out” let the other hand be the “pinky out” hand. Elise calls this “reversing the weave” of your hands. What do you feel? Discomfort. Oddness. Weirdness. That is a raw, visceral experience. Now, the magic happens when Elise unpacks this experience, and applies it to the context she works in - Leadership Transformation.  Having a toolbox or a mental “file” of these exercises can be great…in fact, I have a whole online course about them. But as Elise and I discuss, having the wherewithal to bring one of these out in a session also takes some guts and some faith. You take some trust the team has in you and burn it…risk it on an edgy experience…and hopefully you earn that trust back, with dividends, at the end of the unpacking. Also worth noting is that this is the second episode on the theme of “An experience is worth a thousand slides” when it comes to coaching executive mindset shifts... The first conversation was with Jeff Gothelf, most notably the co-author of Lean UX, where we talked about the Vase and Flowers exercise, another powerful eye-opener that I love very much. This episode is short and sweet, so without further delay, enjoy the conversation as much as I did. Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes, and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Also: I use and love REV for the accurate transcripts they make for me...it makes making my podcast notes and essays more meaningful and insightful. I love reading the transcript and listening to the session at the same time….it really gets the conversation into my brain! I also use the automated transcription feature for my coaching clients to help them get maximum value from our sessions. Head over to http://bit.ly/tryrev10off to get $10 off your first order. In full transparency, that’s an affiliate link, so I’ll get $10 too!

Each of us has a conversational range. What size of conversation brings you alive? In this little audio experiment, I read aloud an essay of mine about Conversational Range.  I hope you enjoy it! Head over to theconversationfactory.com/listen for full episode transcripts, links, show notes and more key quotes and ideas. You can also head over there and become a monthly supporter of the show for as little as $8 a month. You'll get complimentary access to exclusive workshops and resources that I only share with this circle of facilitators and leaders. Support the Podcast and Get insider Access https://theconversationfactory.com/conversation-factory-insider Link to original article: https://www.danielstillman.com/blog/conversational-range