Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

Karen McMahon
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May 29, 2024 • 51min

HC Divorce Demystified: Difficult Conversations Around Divorce: Telling Spouse, Kids, Friends and Family with Zach Brittle & Laura Heck

In today's episode, we are going to navigate through some of the most heart-wrenching conversations that come with the decision of divorce as we delve into the delicate art of communicating about divorce with your spouse and children, as well as your wider circle of family and friends. Broaching the subject of divorce with your spouse is perhaps one of the most profound discussions you will ever have, and it requires a great deal of courage and sensitivity. We'll discuss how to express your feelings honestly while also respecting the emotions of your partner. Then, we will turn our focus to the children. Kids may experience a range of emotions from confusion to fear. We'll equip you with compassionate strategies to help ensure that this transition impacts their well-being as gently as possible, keeping the lines of communication open and honest. Lastly, we'll consider how to communicate your decision to friends and family. This part of the conversation can often bring unexpected reactions, from support to surprise, or even judgment. We'll talk about how to handle various responses and maintain your own emotional balance. It's important to remember that everyone processes this news differently, and while some might offer immediate support, others may need time to adjust to the new reality. Throughout it all, maintaining empathy and understanding for each other's feelings will be key. Joining me today are Zach and Laura, a team of marriage and relationship therapists!. Zach Brittle is a couples therapist in Seattle, where he has been counseling and coaching couples for over a dozen years. He is a best-selling author of The Relationship Alphabet, and the Marriage Therapy Journal. Zach and Laura co-host Marriage Therapy Radio, a podcast where straight talking marriage therapists and their brilliant guests tackle the most common problems every couple experience. Laura Heck is a relationship expert, speaker, Certified Gottman Therapist, Sex Therapist and Master Trainer for The Gottman Seven Principles Program. She and Zach are teaching partners and cohosts of Marriage Therapy Radio. More ways to connect with Laura & Zach: Marriage Therapy Radio: www.marriagetherapyradio.com Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagetherapyradio Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Free Divorce Readiness Masterclass: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/masterclass Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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May 16, 2024 • 24min

Facing the Unthinkable: When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce...And You Don't

If the person you pledged to spend your life with has just revealed they want a divorce, you're likely reeling from a whirlwind of emotions. This episode of our podcast delves deep into the heart-wrenching situation of being in a high-conflict marriage where one partner wants out while the other holds on. We understand the profound sense of loss, confusion, and fear that accompanies such news. Here, we'll explore the psychological impact of this revelation, the array of emotions you might experience, and the journey of grief that follows. It's a path fraught with questions and uncertainties, but you're not alone as you navigate this challenging time. First and foremost, it's crucial to understand that no one can dictate your pace through this ordeal—not even your spouse. Dismiss pressures to make hasty decisions about telling the children, hiring an attorney, or anything else. Instead, we encourage seeking immediate support from therapists or coaches who can guide you through this turbulent period. This episode will help you confront and quiet the self-critic within, questioning your role in the marriage's downturn. Many find themselves clinging to the memory of better days, yet through introspection and support, begin to see the realities of their relationship, perhaps recognizing their own contributions to the discord or acknowledging the marriage's long standing issues. What comes next? It's a journey of personal growth and self-examination. We'll discuss how to identify and amend behaviors that may not serve your marriage or personal well-being, such as self-condemnation, conflict avoidance, and codependency. Whether you're questioning the health of your relationship or searching for a way to reclaim your sense of self, we provide resources to aid you. From our free quiz assessing your marriage's health to courses designed to help you rediscover your identity and navigate potential divorce with wisdom, this episode offers a beacon of hope and direction. Join us as we explore these steps toward healing and self-empowerment, regardless of your marriage's future. Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: If you are unsure of the health of your marriage, take our FREE Relationship Health Quiz If you've lost yourself, enroll in our Reclaim Your Mind mini course If you're heading toward divorce, check out our Divorce 101 Program
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May 14, 2024 • 56min

HC Divorce Demystified: Divorcing a Narcissist: Mastering The Emotional Rollercoaster with Tracy Malone

We're diving into a topic that many of you are eager to learn about. Now, imagine being on a rollercoaster, not just any rollercoaster, but one where the ups are few and the downs are many, and often quite triggering. That's a bit what it feels like. When you're divorcing a narcissist, it's not just about legal battles; it's an emotional journey where the usual playbook doesn't always apply. The biggest challenges often come from the constant unpredictability and the emotional manipulation involved. Narcissists will often use tactics like gaslighting, where they make you question your own reality and sanity, or stone-walling, where they shut down communication to throw you off. Today, we are looking at what you can do if you're in this situation? We'll be discussing strategies that include, gathering your support system, the importance of documentation, and how to stay as calm, as reacting emotionally only feeds into the narcissist's love of chaos and conflict. And perhaps most importantly, prioritizing your own emotional and physical well-being. Divorcing a narcissist is not just about winning a legal battle; it's about reclaiming your mind, your peace and your life. With me today is Tracy A. Malone, an acclaimed international coach specializing in working with people who are dealing with narcissistic abuse. Tracy is the founder of NarcissistAbuseSupport.com, a global platform to support survivors of narcissistic abuse. Tracy has been a powerful ally for those dealing with narcissistic relationships for almost 10 years. More ways to connect with Tracy: Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/188681268196044 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TracyAMalone Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/tracyamalone Twitter - https://twitter.com/TracyAMalone Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tracyamalone/ iTunes Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/podcast-narcissist-abuse-support/id1244854330?mt=2 Extra Resources Referenced in Episode: Book: https://www.amazon.com/Dating-Loving-Leaving-Narcissist-Relationships-ebook/dp/B09XBS5DWN Free Gift - 15 Worst Mistakes Divorcing a Narcissist - https://narcissistabusesupport.com/the-15-worst-mistakes-divorcing-a-narcissist/ Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Free Divorce Readiness Masterclass: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/masterclass Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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May 10, 2024 • 50min

Voices of Celebration: Reflections 8 Years Post Divorce with Clint Powell

8 years ago, Clint reached out after listening to a JBD podcast. His wife had just told him she wanted a divorce. He was reeling in all types of grief, unbelief, fear and uncertainty. He enrolled in a coaching program and began the hard work of looking at his marriage and himself. Clint explains that doing his divorce poorly would hurt everyone, his kids, his STBX and himself. He wanted to be better and worked with both a therapist and divorce coach. Fast forward 8 years. His tween and teen kids are emerging adults, and he is proud of the job he did both parenting and coparenting. We talk about lessons learned, forgotten and learned again and how learning something and practicing and experiencing it are two very different things. We explore how when our family life changes, our career, or in his case his business change as well. Tune in for a dialogue on navigating divorce courageously, how to be a healthy man and raise healthy kids and other interesting stuff. More ways to connect with Clint and listen to his podcasts: During the Break Day Fire The CrimeCast Of By and For the People 5TO9 Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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May 8, 2024 • 47min

HC Divorce Demystified: Child Advocacy: The Guardian ad Litem Journey with Your Kids with Elle Barr

In the turbulent seas of high-conflict custody battles and family disputes, a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) serves as a lighthouse, guiding decisions in the best interest of the children involved. It's crucial to understand when a GAL is needed, and what their role is. This podcast delves into the circumstances that necessitate the involvement of a GAL, unraveling their purpose and shedding light on their pivotal role. Our journey begins with an exploration of the situations that trigger the appointment of a GAL, understanding their objectives, and the critical part they play in steering court decisions towards the welfare and best interests of the children. Engaging with a Guardian ad Litem can be a perplexing maze for both parents and children. As we navigate this complex path, our podcast aims to empower you with the knowledge and tools necessary to support your children compassionately and effectively through this process. We will explore strategies for fostering open communication, maintaining a stable and supportive environment, and preparing your child for interactions with the GAL. By demystifying the GAL's role and functions, we provide parents with actionable insights to facilitate a smoother experience for their children, ensuring their voices are heard and their well-being is prioritized throughout the legal process. Elle Barr is an experienced family law attorney with a deep commitment to serving children and families. She has experience representing clients in all family law matters, with an emphasis on serving as a court appointed GAL. More ways to connect with Elle: LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elle-barr-252b14104 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elle.barr.gal/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElleBarrGAL Enroll with Our Family Wizard: 30 day free OFW trial GAL Resources Referenced in Episode: ACE's Resource: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html Nadine Burke Ted Talk ACE's Aware: https://www.acesaware.org/ Children's Bill of Rights: https://emeryondivorce.com/childrens_bill_of_rights_in_divorce.php Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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May 1, 2024 • 52min

HC Divorce Demysitifed: Breaking the News: Strategies for Discussing Divorce with Your Kids with Christina McGee, MSW

Telling your kids and you're getting a divorce is scary and hard. The world as they know it is about to forever change and feel like it is falling apart. In many cases regardless of the conflict between the parents, they can rally for the sake of the kids. In deeply high conflict situations, this isn't always possible. So when do you tell, what do you tell, do you tell all the kids together, and how do you determine if you should tell them with your soon to be ex or by yourself. My golden rule is you always do what is best for the kids, not what's best for you or your spouse. Today we get to hear guidance, advice and wisdom from one of the top experts in the field!! Christina McGhee is a divorce-parenting expert AND coach with 20+ years of experience, Christina is passionate about providing parents and professionals with information that helps keep the focus where it belongs – on kids. She is the author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids and the creator of a Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training Program for divorce professionals. As a child of divorce and a bonus mom (aka stepmom), Christina has had lots of opportunities to practice what she preaches. Together she and her husband have four "adultish" children (2 bonus, 2 bio) and live outside of Houston, Texas, with three rescue dogs, several cats, and a ridiculous number of chickens. What advice do you have for parents about how to tell their kids they're getting a divorce? When should parents tell kids? ( ie. right away? wait till they file or are closer to completing the process? right before the other parent moves out? ) What if parents can't transition into two homes right away? What should parents do? I know you believe words are powerful. What kind of language do you recommend parents use with their children when they talk about divorce? How should parents answer the question "Why?" What if co-parents have older children - teens or tweens? How much information should they have? What about really young children? like toddlers? What should parents do or say for them? More ways to connect with Christina: Website: divorceandchildren.com Instagram: @divorceandchildren Facebook: @divorceandchildren Linkedin: @christinamcghee Free +25 page Co-parenting Resource Guide: https://divorceandchildren.com/guide/ This free +25-page comprehensive guide put together by Christina McGhee is filled with a treasure trove of carefully curated resources to help you access supportive information for you and your kids. Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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Apr 26, 2024 • 23min

Should You Mend or End a Dysfunctional, Toxic or Abusive Marriage

In this heart-stirring episode of "Mend or End," we dive deep into the crossroads of decision that many find themselves standing at, teetering on the edge of staying in or leaving an unhealthy marriage. Karen's journey is one that resonates with the silent battles many face: the weight of religious or marital commitments that bind, the daunting financial fears of navigating life solo, and the complex web of fears surrounding the well-being and future of their children. It's a narrative wrapped in the struggle between the hope of change and the reality of delusion, between the known hardships and the foreign, overwhelming prospects of divorce. Karen's solo episode is not just a story; it's an exploration of the internal conflicts that plague those considering the immense step of ending a relationship. It addresses the all-too-common fear of being unable to make it alone and the paralyzing effect of having been bullied into a state of self-distrust. Furthermore, it confronts the intricacies of parental concerns—from the fear of hurting the kids with conflict, losing precious time with them, to the financial anxieties tied to their future education. Through Karen's eyes, we explore how the quest for personal health and well-being could indeed be the ultimate form of protection and support for one's children, challenging the listener to weigh the pros and cons of mend or end. Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: If you're unsure how you would categorize your marriage, take our Relationship Quiz If you've been on the fence - Grab a Should I Mend or End FREE Coaching Call with Karen McMahon! If You have already decide and need support moving forward, check out Divorce 101
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Apr 23, 2024 • 53min

HC Divorce Demystified: Affluence and Adversity: Financial Intricacies At The Crossroads of High Conflict and High Net Worth Divorce with Patrick Kilbane, CDFA

Navigating a high conflict, high net worth divorce is exceptionally challenging, blending intricate financial issues with intense emotional tensions. The stakes are high with substantial assets in play, demanding informed and strategic planning to ensure your financial stability after the divorce. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can be your ally, offering insights to bridge the gap between the divorce's financial and legal complexities. They do more than crunch numbers; they provide an analysis aimed at long-term sustainability, guiding you through the economic implications of your settlement. As you gear up to negotiate, remember the importance of a clear-headed, informed strategy. Understanding the real value of your assets, including liquidity and tax implications, is crucial. By making decisions informed by logic rather than emotion, you're better positioned for a future that's both financially secure and emotionally fulfilling. With me today is Patrick Kilbane of Ullmann Wealth Partners, located in Jacksonville FL. He brings both a wealth of family law experience along with his Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation to this conversation. Pat serves as a wealth advisors with over a decade of experience in helping clients coordinate their wealth management plans. He is also the Director of Ullmann Wealth Partner's Divorce Advisory Group where he assists, guides, and supports clients before, during, and after their divorce with a special focus on helping high-net-worth clients make wise financial decisions throughout the divorce process. More ways to connect with Patrick: Website: Ullmann Wealth Partners Email: pkilbane@ullmannwealthpartners.com Book: Move Forward Confidently Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PKND3 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrick.j.kilbane.3 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-kilbane-a4755562 Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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Apr 18, 2024 • 38min

JBD Team Talks: Communicating with Mastery During High Conflict Divorce

The way we communicate will make or break our divorce. It will move us closer to what we desire or farther away. It will invite curiosity and compromise or judgement and destruction. In order to be able to communicate with mastery, we need to first be aware of our triggers and ways of behaving under stress. We also need to be able to read other people, their mood, body language and tone. When we combine these skills with clear communication, we are on the right path. With me today is Lisa Brick, JBD Partner and Divorce Coach and Carrie Doubts, JBD Divorce Coach. Together we discuss tips and strategies to communicate with mastery. Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: BIFF - Bill Eddy's Book JBD Podcast - High Conflict Divorce: How to Remain Peaceful, Productive and Professional Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd
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Apr 16, 2024 • 58min

HC Divorce Demystified: Exploring the Intersection of High Conflict and High Net Worth Divorce with Susan Myres

In this episode, we delve into the intricate dynamics of divorce proceedings at the crossroads of high conflict and high net worth. Marriages unraveling in such scenarios face a myriad of challenges, from navigating complex financial landscapes to the heightened emotional intensity that often accompanies disputes over substantial assets. As the stakes escalate with greater financial resources at play, so too does the potential for drawn out courtroom battles, where each party may wield significant financial ammunition to leverage their position. Amidst these legal battles, the welfare of children can be profoundly impacted, as extended litigation periods pose heightened risks and uncertainties, inviting additional chaos and contention. In this episode we underscore the urgent need for effective resolution strategies that prioritize the well-being of all involved. With me today is Susan Myres, a matrimonial attorney and certified Family Law Specialist, Susan has been practicing family law in the Houston area since 1982 forming her own firm, Myres & Associates, in 2011. She's been named to the annual list of Texas Super Lawyers since 2006 and is a past president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). There are a lot of family law attorneys out there. I was particularly drawn to Susan for this podcast episode. Over the course of her career Susan has developed a keen interest in mental health, psychology, and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and she approaches clients as if she were an aunt or a big sister. She has often said, "This is not my money. These are not my children. This is not my life. I will give you my advice as I would as a trusted sister or aunt, but the final decisions have to be yours. So let's dive in and benefit from her pearls of wisdom!! More ways to connect with Susan: Website: https://www.thehoustondivorcefirm.com/our-team/susan-myres/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-myres Business LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/myres-&-associates-pllc Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myresfamilylaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/MyresAssociates Journey Beyond Divorce Resources mentioned in this episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/reclaimyourmind Soberlink: www.soberlink.com/jbd

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