Your Kickstarter Sucks

Dan's Bong had a Facebook page. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For even more coverage of Dan's Bong Adventures, head on over to YKS Premium. That's basically what we're doing over there now, yeah. Today's episode of YKS Premium is sponsored by these fine brands.Schedule35 - Now I was always taught to not eat stuff that you found in the woods, on the ground. Come to find out, maybe if I had thrown that particular yoke off a bit earlier in life, I could have a better and deeper understanding of my self and environment etc? Guhh? Well that's what I read anyway. And with Schedule35, they picked the stuff up off the ground for you, and measured it and told you how much to take and stuff. And I bet they even washed the things, too. Sound too good to be true? Well, it ain't. Get 15% off your order at Schedule35.co with the promo code YKS.Doctor Butlers - Hemorrhoids. It's one of those things you think, "Ok, there's no way somebody likes having this, right?" And of course you'd be wrong, cause it takes all kinds you know, but the spirit of what you're saying is true. It isn't, generally speaking, fun to have a bunch of ass pain. And Doctor Butler's gets that, which is why they have pretty much the best selling and reviewed butt cream out there. Go read the reviews for yourself, from a lot of people whose asses are better off for it. And now, you can save yourself 20% at DoctorButlers.com with the code YKS.BetterHelp - Folks, having feelings in your brain is normal. But sometimes, just like with the ol' sock drawer, you gotta get in there and root around for a while to see if everything is still good. Toss the stuff out you ain't usin' anymore, match a few things up, organize. That's right, you didn't think I had anything for sock drawer = brain, but I did. And that success is probably, at least in part, due to therapy! Try it out for yourself and you'll be making good metaphors in no time. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS Athletic Greens - Oh, I love my greens! But sometimes, they're just not very quaffable. That's where Athletic Greens, and it's seemingly innumerable amount of vitamins and adaptogens comes in. "Quaff This," it should say, somewhere on the can, but doesn't. That's ok. I'll keep quaffing this stuff. Join me, won't you? They'll even throw in 5 free travel packs and a year's supply of one of my favorite vitamins, D, at AthleticGreens.com/yks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Y'all! Come quick! Ol' Dan's got into the steamies again! On today's program -- and sorry if the episode description seems a little "catty". My cat is doing the thing where she reaches out her claw very slowly to slightly nick my finger skin so that it itches for the next 2 days. God I love animals soo much -- we've got a step by step recipe for Mike's special chili cleanse and god damn it she's doing it right now and it hurts why can't we just sit here and chill or maybe talk or whatever. Plus we've got the long-awaited reboot of fortune cookies, a lamp so stupid even Brick wouldn't love it, and a major leap in pet tech ok now she's laid her head down on the laptop edge which is super smart cause that doesn't have to close or anything right?? Ok enjoy the show I'm going to go stand up and have an animal get mad at me for doing it. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now that was a fine episode of YKS...My only suggestions would be: make it funnier, with a great guest, and shorter, and there's no ads in it, and nothing about Kickstarters, and make it video as well, and the video production has really taken a step up lately (cheers to Producer Dan), and the gimmick of it is incomprehensible, and everyone loves it and it costs money. Well, that's why they invented YKS Premium! Check out our most recent episode, with the inimitable Chris James, and two up and coming hosts in a special guest role! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Schedule35 -- Mushrooms. Sure, they come from the earth. But what then? Well, scientists say a lot of good stuff can happen if you eat some of them. Problem is, which ones to eat. Well they figured that all out for you at Schedule35, where but a click of the mouse can have you opening up some nice mood altering substances as soon as the mail comes a few times. Try it now! And get 15% off at Schedule35.co when you use the code YKS at checkout. Truebill -- Kick subscriptions int the ass...with Truebill! Check 'em out today at Truebill.com/YKS and give those pain in the rear end streaming services the boot. And hey, if you free up $5 or $8 bucks a month, you know who to toss it to! (Us. YKS. Come on pleaseeeee)BetterHelp -- I'm burnt out as hell! I'm sick of this crap! That's something you might say if you are experiencing emotions, which can actually be a huge bummer, but you have to do it anyway. Point being, it's always good to "run ya thoughts" by somebody, and now thanks to BetterHelp, you can do it on the computer. Check it out, with the classic YKS 10% off, at BetterHelp.com/yks, to-day! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

YKS...what a pod. Man, there is no topic these guys won't touch. But would they touch a $50 bill inside the toilet, or a $10 on the seat? Well, they didn't talk about it on the show, so there's no answer in the 90-some minutes of content here. It's outside the bounds of the conversations, really. Actually, it's up to you to decide. Would Mike take the $50? Would JF play it safe with the tenner? Do either of them go to the bathroom after seeing the money? Was it a number one or a number two, anyway? Write that stuff down on a sheet of paper and turn it in with your parent/guardian's signature next week. And whoever gets it right, will get one sticker. Which I have to pay for, out of my own pocket by the way. Think about your answers while you hear the boys talk about indoctrinating children with crypto cartoons, new ways to wipe our asses, and new ways to wipe our teeth. Plus, a product they're already heavily advertising on Tiktok, so you know it's good! Out of the VIP club and into the poop hoop! It's a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN: 🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌Yoooooooooooo! That’s insane!!BetterHelp: As a comedian, the stage is basically my therapist. But others may not be quite so lucky. Most people have to talk to licensed professionals with a variety of specialities. But where to find ‘em? Uhh, how about the computer! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS HelloFresh: Micronutrients…macronutrients…vitamins…carbs? Ugh! So annoying to keep track of this stuff. If only there was something that combined it all into an easy to consume product. What if we came up with…food? Food…now food I could get into. Get up to 16 free meals and free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alright gang I'm gonna level with ya. I am sicker than I can remember being in years. I'm dictating this episode description to Siri from the toilet. And I think it's going pretty well so far. New incognito window. Crazy busty porno where it seems like everyone is enjoying themselves equally. Scan ahead 13 mins. Pause. Switch tabs. And so it's not gonna be the world's longest description, okay? It's just -- switch tabs scan through video back and forth pause, go back, add query "staff picks" -- not. I just ain't feelin' up to looking at such a big computer screen for more than, statistically speaking, 3-5 minutes. But yes on today's show you will hear about Mike passing on the bag, the proliferation of the lizard people, and honestly probably the most Kickstarters we've ever mentioned in one episode of the show. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going. Close tab. Open new tab. Search will god forgive me. Delete. Search best burgers. Enter. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS? Head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon and sign up for it. That way, you can have it and hear it. Whenever you want! Like a warm blanket of two stupid guys. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Schedule35 - Use coke YKS for 15% off of some pretty dang discreetly packaged mushrooms, I must say. NordVPN - 🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌ Cool cool cool.Backbone.- Check em out at PlayBackbone.com/yks and get yourself one month FREE of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate, one month FREE of Apple Arcade, two months FREE of Google Stadia Pro, AND three months FREE of Discord Nitro. Hey that's a lot of free stuff.Honey - Head on over to JoinHoney.com/YKS and start grabbin some savings...today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Straight from Jacko’s hyperbolic chamber…it’s the YKS boys! On today’s show we’re doing all kinds of fun shit. First you got this Mike guy, who knows a lot about the TV show Friends. Then you got this JF character, and whoaaa boy, look out for that guy. And when they both get the woke mind virus? Ah golly! Well, let’s just hope they had enough time to go over a crazy new hot box for your cats, a crypto tracker just in time for crypto’s great resurgence, and an app where you can ask someone to send you a picture of a hotel room before you book it. Heh. Something tells me there was plenty of time. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium…oh my god, I love it! That’s why I go to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, to sign up and then pay for it. It’s good to do this!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Schedule35 - Now normally I hate having a schedule…but on the other hand, that stuff is straight up cool to have sometimes! And so, quite frankly, are microdoses of magic mushrooms. That’s why we turn to Schedule35. Use promo code YKS to get 15% off your order…hey man, have a nice trip!Athletic Greens - “Good health begins at the gut.” - Unknown. This sounds like something someone has said at one point in time, doesn’t it? Imagine if it were a kind of cool font, and maybe it’s framed too. Or, like, stitched or something. And it’s in a kitchen? Wow. Anyway, Athletic Greens has an absolutely wild amount of vitamins in there, and it can go in your kitchen too. Hell, it’s in mine. Go to AthleticGreens.com/YKS for a nice little gift and to help out da show. And your gut!Outer - Outdoors…you’ve heard of it. It’s the place where your computer isn’t. But still, it’s good to go there sometimes. And you go out there and you’re sitting on your milk crate and your table is one of those big electric spools, and you think…boy there’s got to be a better way! Well, there is, and it’s called Outer. Get $300 off at liveouter.com/yks and start outdoorsing the YKS Way!BetterHelp - The human brain is a funny thing. But at times, it’s no laughing matter. Hey, don’t try to figure that out all on your own. Ask a pro for help and, you never know, maybe something cool will happen! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Great news, everyone! We just found out we’ve been renewed for another 250 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve decided to bring back some of the classic YKS things you all loved so much, with a fun “Next 250 Episodes” twist. This week, you’ll enjoy a stupid piece of bathroom tech, some rebadged bulk dropshipped electronics, and a weird guy with ideas about how he could run the country. But THIS time, we will sound approximately 5 years older. And that’s just a taste of what we have in store for you all this time around. So if that sounds like the ride of a lifetime, slap that motherfuckin play button and let’s fast forward to our 40s baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium – the ONLY place to double your YKS fun, every single damn week! Now with video! See if you can pause on the spliced in scenes of our balls! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Schedule35 - “Psilocybin”...the word on the tip of everybody’s tongue! Seems like it might be good for mental health, and like all stuff of that nature, Schedule35 ships quickly and discreetly! Figure out what microdosing means, and use code YKS to get 15% off your order. Oh, It means small dose. Yep. Makes sense.AthleticGreens - Everyone forgets our humble guts. Sure we put food in there. But shouldn’t there be some other stuff that happens to it as well? The founder of Athletic Greens sure thought so. And before succumbing to “Vitamin Madness”, he developed the tasty and nutritious AG1 formula. Thank goodness! Check ‘em out at athleticgreens.com/YKS and get a year’s supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs, on us.Faherty - It’s springtime, guess I’ll just wear my shorts…wait a minute,all my shorts suck? And are ugly?? Well good thing Faherty is out there making their high quality and dare I say, rather handsome, shorts (and other stuff!) Grab some for yourself, with 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKS. BetterHelp - Therapy kicks ass. I’d rather go to it than do a bunch of other stuff…including make a podcast! But I find time for both, because they’re important. Anyway, maybe you should try it too. Therapy, not doing a podcast. That’s my thing. Lay the hell off my thing! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Two Hundred Fifty episodes. Now that's what I call a very significant milestone. Even though some of the episodes were reruns from YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and there are hundreds of YKS Premium episodes too. So is this really 250, when it's actually like 482? Yep. That's what the number says, so that's what it is. On today's 250th episode, which is the number that it is, we're dealing with our 3 Foes, cooking toxins, and Mike's Little Freakout Pile. Plus we got a cool book for kids...who like motorcycles, a guy doing some 2007 style YouTube stuff...today, and yet another porch package device...with a twist! And a very special anniversary edition of Real or Fake. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For ad-free versions of YKS and much more, head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Just a straightforward plug. Nothing wrong with that sometimes. Not everything has to be a joke!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Truebill - You know, I happen to cherish and love every one of my subscriptions equally. But I understand if you don’t. Maybe ya got tricked or flim flammed, I don’t know! Let TrueBill help sort ‘em out for you, at Truebill.com/YKSFactor - I hate dinner! Why did I choose to cook it! Oh yeah…now thanks to Factor, I don’t have to. Click on this normal URL here:  https://go.factor75.com/yks120 or use that code YKS120 for $120 off your order!BetterHelp - I get by, with a little help, from myself…RT if you think that’s what the famous song SHOULD say! Gang, it stinks but sometimes you gotta get in there and do something nice for yourself. Sometimes it’s eating a big dagwood sandwich, and sometimes it’s going to therapy. We don’t have a cold cuts sponsor, so try out BetterHelp for 10% off your first month with the code YKS instead.NordVPN - 🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌ I heard that!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you’re driving in the car, folding your laundry at home, or simply falling asleep and hoping there’s not a super loud fart noise piped into the mix from totally out of nowhere, there’s no better podcast airing its 249th episode today than Your Kickstarter Sucks. On today’s program we lament the passing of Midwest Elvis, 86 our friend Mike Hale, and prove once and for all what the shape of Earth actually is. I think I forgot to say that David sent that Kickstarter in, and I can’t really go back and add that into the show, but I wanted to say it here in case David reads the episode descriptions. The problem is that we are using a dark mode extension for Google Docs and it makes basically all the colors but white hard to read. And I put “From David” in a red text, but it showed up really dark red. So that is my bad on that one David and oh yeah by the way, the earth is flat so I shouldn’t have done the Kickstarter anyway. Credits Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Did you guys see where a bunch of NFT apes got stolen or sold or faked or something? Something probably happened with the apes, I think? Well, that will NEVER happen when you subscribe to YKS Premium. Last week we talked with the wonderful Zoë Ligon, in a delightful episode many are calling “very pornographic”. This week, who knows, maybe we’ll have Elon Musk on! Wouldn’t that be funny as hell!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Energy in the morning? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to the fine folks at Athletic Greens and their AG1 vitamin blend. And it tastes pretty good too, unlike “you know what”! Try it for your own self at AthleticGreens.com/YKS and get a free year’s supply of Vitamin D and travel packs as well. HelloFresh - You know, in the old days, “getting fresh” with someone was NOT something to be proud of. Nowadays, “getting fresh” food is actually good! My, how times change. So change with them! Get up to 16 free meals plus free shipping when you use the code YourKickstarterSucks16 at HelloFresh! Honey - Coupon codes are truly a double edged sword. The first edge of the sword is the saving money part. But the other edge, which is not as good, is the one where you have to REMEMBER the stinking things. Too hard! Download Honey to day at JoinHoney.com/YKS and kiss the bad edge of your swords goodbye!NordVPN - “🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌”  Yup. Nuff said. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh my god…That’s what you’ll be saying when you hear this week’s episode of YKS, which is so full of awesome content I almost decided to rename it The Awesome Content Show. That’s right, I almost unilaterally made the decision to change the name of the show I do as a full time(ish) job from something identifiable, descriptive, and established (if a little mean) to “The Awesome Content Show”, an honorific perhaps only as blasé as it is inscrutable! Just playing. But keep in mind I could change the name of this show at any fuckin’ time I want. On today’s show, we’re talkin melty clocks, rich guys reinventing the bus, and the ethics of using a marinade on your chicken. Plus we spill the tea on what it’s like being live show superstars, after our recent standing ovation (maybe? Couldn’t bear to look straight ahead) at Zanies with the Doughboys. Download it now, you 8-digited Cro-magnonite! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.If YKS has a million fans I am one of them. If YKS has ten fans I am one of them. If YKS has only one fan, that is me. If YKS has no fans, that means I am no longer on Earth. For now, though, I am at YKS Premium. And this week on the show: sex educator Zoë Ligon teaches us how to do all that good stuff. Ohhhhh!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Birddogs - A couple weeks ago, if you had told me how much I’d love these pants with the underwear built into ‘em, I’d have said you were crazy. I mean, I already got underwear. What’s the point of putting it in the pants? Well, I don’t really know but I can tell you that my birddogs pants and shorts are now my everyday wear. I don’t know, man. They’re good! Try ‘em for yourself at Birddogs.com and get a free dad hat with the promo code YKS. Outer - Outdoor furniture…well I’ve heard of indoor furniture, but what, now I gotta have a couch outside? Yep. Sorry. You are in the 2 couch lifestyle now. And while you’re here, why not make sure you got the best looking, most weather-resistant, and hell, probably the most sustainable outdoor couch on the block? Save yourself $300 and get free shipping, too, at LiveOuter.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Stress stinks! Talking about stress with a qualified professional counselor? Now that’s what’s nice. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKSDiet Smoke - Ganja this, terpenes that. Hell, I don’t know, man. Just give me a nice little buzz that doesn’t turn me straight up wacky. That’s what they figured out with this Delta-8 stuff. And it works! Diet Smoke’s version, at least, tastes pretty good too. Give it a try, and get 20% off – forever! That’s right, keep on using the code, folks. They love it. Just head to DietSmoke.com, armed with the promo code YKS20. And slap it in there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hoppy Easter, Everyone! Well, Easter, of course, was yesterday, and I’d love to tell you we did something special for the holiday, but honestly I don’t think either one of us knew it was coming up when we recorded it. So instead, I believe this episode will be our usual mix of whiny complaints about aging, nutting in a condom jokes, somebody farting, something you won’t hear because we had Dan cut it out at the last minute, and maybe 1 or 2 Kickstarters. There’s gonna be a couple ads on the regular episode, and none if you’re on the ad-free Patreon. Plus, we will make the world a better place due to our good deeds. Oh yeah and Mike sticks an easter egg up his ass. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Faherty - A lifetime guarantee of quality…one thing you’ll get with Faherty’s fine clothing that you will never see anywhere close to YKS. But they can back it up! This stuff is hella nice. Get 20% off your next springtime piece at FahertyBrand.com/yks with the code YKS! Diet Smoke - Folks, you know me. I am not the archetypal “Stoner God”. And yet, even a Cannabis Coward such as myself can handle the smooth, relaxing experience of Diet Smoke Delta-8 gummies. Celebrate 4/20 with 20% off your next legal high at DietSmoke.com and the code YKS20. And then keep the code + use it forever! It works!Athletic Greens - I hate my gut! Why did I put all this crap in it! Well, maybe I should put some better stuff in it. Which is why I got Athletic Greens’ AG1: a killer mix of vitamins, minerals, and adaptogens that finally has me and my gut getting along again. Get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit Athleticgreens.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Helping people kicks ass. But did you forget…you are a person, as well? Ah! Try helping yourself out, while someone else helps you out as well, at BetterHelp. And oh yeah, did we mention that the coupon code YKS helps you out as well, by getting you 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS? Oh shoot, and it helps us out as well! Wow! That’s a lotta help! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.