Your Kickstarter Sucks

Back in the day, things just seemed a lot simpler, didn't they? You made your own card games to sell on Kickstarter, you dookied on a leaf in the woods, and could put your hand right on the shopping buggies! But not anymore. We've all taken the high heels off, gone woke, and turned our brains to hamburger. All to satisfy our Kinky Kravings! And just when you think it can't get any more HORNY, here comes a new YKS down the pike! So grab a hot wire, download this ep and get your first dub in a while! It's YKS time, baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium...They're more than great coats! That's just a fun reference to an old commercial from the 1990s. And really, when you get down to it, a reference to an old commercial is basically content. Basically Content -- That's the YKS Premium motto, and never before has it been more true than this past week's episode, in which we debuted the Night of 1000 Segments! It was kind of a fun deconstruction of podcasting which skewered the format while also having some funny songs about poop in it. All that and hundreds of hours of similarly highbrow content, with video, and more, available now at Patreon.com/YourKickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:NordVPN -- EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everyone it’s time to write the episode description for YKS: Your Kickstarter Sucks. The key to this is to have basically a paragraph of things that show up below the episode file and are only accidentally seen when someone inadvertently swipes their finger on the screen in a weird way. As a result, it doesn’t make any difference what I actually write. Like this! Wahoo! On this week’s show, we got a new way to do something with a bug, one guy trying to convince his wife and himself that he’s not stupid for running into the garage with his bike on top of his car, and a way to be even ruder to restaurant servers! It’s about fucking time!! I was going to start shitting in my seat!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Need 100% more YKS in your life? (Kevin Harlan voice) Yes! That’s why they invented YKS Premium. Get a bonus episode every week and more, for just a little shitdick fuck piss $5 a month!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor – When it comes to getting food in your system, it’s hard to beat the convenience of meals. That is, unless, you get someone else to cook the meals for you and send them right to your door. But that could never happen, right??? Get 60% off your first box at Factor75.com/YKS60BetterHelp –  Now this is nice. It says here you can now, through the advent of modern computer technology, Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well it’s YKS time and don’t ya know, that’s basically the Mike and JF show! We don’t really need to be reworking the theme song lyrics on the fly like that but, hey, just goes to show, writing songs is easy. I’m thinking whichever of the Hank Williamses is alive and not problematic for the performance. There’s gotta be one, right? Right?!? On today’s show we have one of the dead and very problematic Hank Williamses, some breaking Nashville Foodie News, Foreskin Gloves, and oh yeah, it’s MIKE’S BIRTHDAY! That means only one thing…Bring it in guys!!! *Every serial inventor from every business school, scammer, crazy scientist, board game guy, Fish Lord, dropshipper, ukulele player, and offensive board game enthusiast come in with everything for a HUGE episode*Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes and more, check out YKS Premium! Annual subscriptions get you a free month, and monthly subscriptions get you every month not for free, which makes sense really. At least 5 bonus episodes a month, plus video, and if that’s not enough Mike and JF for ya I really god damn don’t know what I can do to help cause I gotta putter around and eat dinner and stuff. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens – Think of your body like a well-oiled machine. You wouldn’t run your machine without adaptogens, would ya? Didn’t think so. Well Athletic Greens has got em, and then some! Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSHelloFresh – My wife was so happy when our HelloFresh box came in this weekend that she coulda kissed me! She didn’t, cause I was sick with Covid. But she could have! And that’s what counts. Get 21 meals plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks21NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We recorded this episode on January 6th, which was a very important day in history. Actually I don’t think we did. Or maybe we did, I’m not sure. But, did you see how easily you can be manipulated by the media? Let that be a lesson to you, and to the January 6th guys, and I don’t know, like, people from everywhere in the world or other planets and stuff. Wow. This sounds like an important episode. And it is! Because on this episode we’re talkin Fartcars, Bible vibes, and Brain Hacks. And don’t say we’re the brain hacks. We’re good guys! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Regular…nice, nice. But I wish there was more of a luxury experience, suited for only those with the most discriminating podcast taste buds. You are in luck! There probably is. But if you can’t find it, check out YKS Premium, the place for even more Mike and JF. Decent consolation prize??This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Honey – Coupon Codes…as a frequent shopper, they’re something of a white whale for me. And Honey has helped me spear them. Or whatever happens in the book I’m sorry I don’t remember. Get it yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS – Savings ahoy!RocketMoney - I’m sick and tired of these dadgum subscriptions on this goshdang bank statement! RocketMoney wants to help. The average Rocket Money user saves up to $720 a year! Wow! I guess I’ll go to RocketMoney.com/YKS and check it out. Or you do it, I mean. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The first episode of 2023! I wonder what this year will hold. Well, first of all, hold this L. Come back in a few years and see if we’re still saying that. Plus, see if we’re still talking about the Lockhorns, the Splorks, and hey, is Mike still telling his little stories? Or did we all wither away like some shit that you just know would be very easy to wither…Ah, who can say. Except our friends and tastemakers, the YKS Guys. Gentlemen…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Don’t like the ads? Well, send us a bizarre rant and then sign up for YKS Premium! We’ve got ad-free episodes, Discord access, and much more. Last year, we even had our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck back on for our acclaimed (?) Who Wants To Be an Extreme Millionaire series, and considering their performance, it may be the last time they’re allowed to do any podcasting anywhere! Sign up today at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Green…it’s one of the many colors of the rainbow. But it’s healthy! More than you can say for Mauve, I bet. Let’s get some tasty vitamins and minerals in ya for 2023, gang. With Athletic Greens. Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs by signing up at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - Healthy meal prep is so annoying. I was looking for stuff today and there were a bunch of blogs called, like, The Yummy Grubby and stuff. I’m done with it. I’m going Factor style. Get 60% off your first box at factor75.com/yks60BetterHelp - Laughter is the best medicine. That’s why listening to YKS is like going to the free student clinic. But there’s other kinds of doctors too, it turns out, and they can help with mental health! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look, if it’s alright with you, I’m going to take it easy on the episode description here at the end of the year. It’s the last one, I’m pretty tired, and you know what these things are all about. We said some pretty silly stuff in this one, and we did some Kickstarters as well. One of them was a Catholic board game! Isn’t that weird? Yeah we thought so too. What were the other ones? Well, there’s only one way to find out. Find me in public and beat me to within an inch of my life until I’m forced to reveal every single project in the 6 pack to you! It’s the only way! See you in 2024!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We had a great 2022 at YKS Premium! 2023 is, presumably, going to be even better. Grab an annual subscription today and get a free month as a YKS Official Delightful Reward. Or, better yet, pay by the month but don’t unsubscribe at any point! That works out better for me, to be honest! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:RocketMoney - Coupon codes: friend or foe? Hard to say, at times. But with RocketMoney, the promo code field is simply a detente. Does that make sense? Well, who cares. Save some money for your own self at RocketMoney.com/yksNordPass - Keep your passwords secure, instead of insecure…makes sense, right? No duh! NordPass got there before you did, dummy! Nab 3 free months at nordpass.com/yksBetterHelp - Therapy is great…I do it all the time! And you see how I got it together. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wow, folks! It’s the last YKS before Christmas! Hopefully you have laid the 80s horror VHS tapes out by the old tube tv, taken one bite of the Delta-8 edibles and placed them on the Elvira plate, and filled up a cup with sour Gatorade. Soon, two annoying guys will be knocking on your front door asking if they can come in and use your bathroom! Will they be leaving presents? Perhaps! That depends on how you feel about a VR archery set, a new way to open up plastic bags, and a hat with a QR code on it that maybe orders a type of drink for you? Not sure. Who bought this crap, my weird uncle!? My uncles are all cool actually I just meant sometimes people have weird ones. I don’t know. Uncles take a beating around the holidays, don’t they? We need a day that’s safe for uncles. Uncle Day. We are looking into this very strongly! Have a good one. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This really is the season of giving…money! To your favorite independent content creators! In exchange for even more of their high-quality audio and video content! I’m talking, of course, about YKS Premium  – the only gift Santa can’t give! We won’t let him on the premises. We have a restraining order against Jolly Old Saint Nick. He was pulling his pud over by my heat pump. Help us sue him into oblivion by subscribing today!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Schedule35.co - Not all drugs are created equal. Some of them are from the earth! Microdosing psilocybin has some pretty good effects, it sounds like. Plus you don’t get all wacky with it, which is nice. So check it out  and get 15% off with code YKS at Schedule35.coBetterHelp - Yes, lots of stuff is important. So is therapy. I guess like, gold is important? And silver? But we’re talking about therapy, which is so nice to do for yourself sometimes. And you can get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Use the savings to buy some precious metals! Faherty - One thing about me is, I love putting on my little clothes and walking around. And Faherty makes some of the best stuff in my closet. But golly I’d like to pay about 80% of what I’d normally pay! And with the code YKSPOD, I can! Because YKSPOD will get you 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKSPOD. Factor - ME: I sure am hungry! FOOD: Oh how about me? ME: That’s a good idea. But I don’t know how to get you! FOOD: Uhhh, this just happened. Excuse me, I mean that just happened. ME: Wow! I’ll just type in go.factor75.com/yks60 to my favorite browser and then hit enter or return or whichever one it is. Then, later, I’ll eat food! FOOD: That’s swag.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look, the thing about the episode today is that we got a lot of ideas about hot dogs. And chicken wings. I guess we were pretty hungry when we recorded the episode. But when it’s YKS Nights…that’s just the kind of crazy stuff you’re gonna get! On today’s show, we’re visiting the Kingdom of Fufu, but just for tonight only! Plus, we got some corny shoe stuff not even I can endorse, a way to stay warm at the office that’s NOT setting the Foreman Grill out the night before, and finally saving Canada from the thorny grip of woke! Gather your Missisaugan friends around the iPad…it’s time to listen to YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Here’s an excellent holiday gift for the person in your life who needs to see or have some good stuff: YKS Premium! Get a free month when you pay for a full year – It’s a Christmas miracle! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Schedule35 - Microdose – doesn’t sound like much, but studies show a “small” amount of psilocybin can have a “big” effect! Micro is a prefix meaning “small”. That’s why I said that. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.coAthletic Greens - Routines are important. My morning routine is that I wake up, scream in the mirror, and down a cup of vitamins and adaptogens in the form of Athletic Greens AG1. Then it’s back to screaming. And I’ve got all the energy I need for a day of screaming. Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKSRocket Money - I’m sick of these motherfreaking subscriptions on this motherfreaking plane! Very possibly something you might say when signing up for a subscription while traveling on a plane. I know I have! Let’s get rid of some of this stuff together, with our friends at Rocket Money. What the heck – I’m paying $9.99/mo for Snakes? Rocketmoney.com/yksBetterHelp - I’m one of those guy who hears “therapy on the computer” and starts thinking retail therapy! No, but in all seriousness, talking to someone about your problems can really help. And I doubt they’re going to tell you to get a new coffeemaker to cheer yourself up. But I’m not a licensed anything, and I say, sure, if you like coffee, go for it. But do the other stuff, too. Get 10% off first month at betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Damn my feet smell really bad! That’s not pertinent to today’s episode, but I do think it’s a compelling way to start off the episode description, because you start to go…hmm..I wonder if JF”s feet were stinking during the episode? Or, like did they maybe start to stink right after? And if so, why? Was he out running around without socks? Probably not, it’s winter, but maybe he rushed out the door to get the paper and stepped in a dog’s poop. But then you gotta wonder, do I get the paper delivered? And whose dog poop was it? He called the shit poop! Anyway on today’s episode, our werewolf values are under attack! So we go all the way in on another piece of crap landfill robot pet, luggage for people who miss Bird scooters, and a child’s idea. Equal opportunity offenders here, gang. It would actually be unfair if we didn’t do it. And, in fact, the mainstream media wouldn’t, so that’s why we have to. It’s important that we’re like this!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I’m down on all fours beggin ya…check out YKS Premium! We’ve been on a “hot streak” lately, and last week’s Cool Cat Catch-Up episode is an absolute can’t-miss for anyone who likes weird little guys doing strange little things. Just $5 gets ya, on average, about 4.3 such Certified Classics per month, plus ad-free episodes and access to the YKS Pisscord!This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule 35 – Mushrooms that make ya feel different, huh? Sounds good enough to build a whole kingdom around! I really believe that!! Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co NordPass – There probably is someone out there who can memorize hundreds of secure passwords, credit card numbers, and other account information pertinent to business. But...it ain't you. That's why they came up with NordPass and gave you the "Normal Brain" discount! Get a 3 month free trial at NordPass.com/YKSHelloFresh – Meals...we all need to eat them and yet, where do they come from? Hard to say. Lot of them are plants, as I recall. And that's about all I know. I'm a meals amateur. The pros are over at HelloFresh! Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks18 and use code yourkickstartersucks18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping to see if the stuff comes from plants or whatever it is. BetterHelp – Hey! You there! Like Help? Me too. That's why I go to therapy. But sometimes the hard part is the "going" part. So let's bring the therapy to you...just like your precious mail! Grab 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yks and stop talking to your mail delivery person!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, Thanksgiving is over! All of the little cousins have gone on their walks, all of the uncles have done their politics, and all of the Karens have returned their half-eaten turkeys for store credit because they found a bird poop in the neckhole. Now what?! We all return to our schools or works?? And just sit there without eating a bunch of bread?? This sucks! Yeah, it does. That’s why they invented YKS. Hey, maybe this will kind of suck a little bit less. And if not, hey, free poop in the neckhole. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.More YKS! Many people are saying it. And many people are getting it as well, by going to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! Find bonus episodes, hundreds of hours of video, merch discounts, and more at the URL at the end of the previous sentence. jThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - VPNs are so clutch when it comes to cyber security, speed, and content. Don’t get left behind in the virtual dust. Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!BetterHelp - Therapy is goated. And you already know how I feel about going online! BetterHelp, well, they figured out a way to combine the two into one thing, saving time and energy and probably the environment as well. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordPass - Hey make sure your password has a number, a symbol, and a freaking recipe for the perfect macaroni and cheese to continue. WHaaa?? Coming up with these things is too dadgum hard, and that’s before it even comes down to memorizing them. That’s why we all need a password manager like NordPass. Get a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.