Jacob Falkovich is the writer behind Second person dating, a blog and Substack weaving together rationality, relationships, and culture. His work explores how dating works in the real world — not the fairy tale or the algorithm — and what it means to be honest, strategic, and human, follow Jacob on Twitter We talk about the epistemology of dating, the myth of soulmates, polyamory, emotional rationality, and how to escape the hidden scripts of modern romance. Topics are outlined in the timestamps below.Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.Support my work here and follow me on Twitter hereTimestamps 00:00 – Intro02:43 – Dating as an inference problem, not a competition05:26 – How “active inference” applies to attraction08:09 – Everything you do sends a signal — whether you know it or not10:52 – Selection effects and dating dynamics in apps13:35 – Why dating apps are broken markets16:18 – Soulmate fantasies, agency, and gender roles19:01 – Mimetic stories and the identity of being “unlovable”21:44 – How status games distort love and dating24:27 – Authenticity vs strategic presentation27:10 – Why lying on dating apps ruins your filter29:53 – Polyamory, open relationships, and cringe signaling32:36 – Jealousy, drama, and doing it for the wrong reasons35:19 – Love as transformation, not optimization38:02 – Rationalists, emotions, and long-term unpredictability40:45 – Relationships as prediction problems, not utility hacks43:28 – What Jacob learned from 10 years with his wife46:11 – Breaking social scripts through cultural contrast48:54 – The cost of following the script vs living with intention Get full access to From the Lotus World at www.fromthelotus.world/subscribe
