The Leadership Podcast

Marc Polymeropoulos served for 26 years in the intelligence community in field and leadership assignments. He is an expert in counterterrorism, covert action, and human intelligence collection. Marc discusses the theme of building connections, and emphasizes the significance of internal, team, and personal relationships. He highlights the key to relationship mastery: empathy, active listening, and a shift from self-focus to team care. Marc shares insights into the art of making friends for a living, especially in recruiting agents, navigating the highs and lows of building trust. He introduces leadership principles such as the "glue guy" and "win an Oscar," emphasizing the value of every team member's contribution. https://bit.ly/TLP—390 Key Takeaways [03:13] Marc Polymeropoulos, a retired CIA pro with 26 years under his belt, specializing in counterterrorism. Marc digs on his recently devoured book, "Clarity in Crisis: Leadership Lessons from the CIA" highlighting its theme of building connections in the agency, with a focus on internal, team, and personal relationships. Marc spills the beans on the key to relationship mastery: empathy, active listening, and a shift from self-focus to team care. Jim throws in Stephen Covey's "The Speed of Trust," questioning the feasibility of quick trust-building in the spy world. Marc keeps it real, emphasizing the delicate balance between speed and the time needed for trust to truly stick. [06:43] Marc spills the beans on the art of making friends for a living, especially in the tricky world of recruiting agents.He shares the highs and lows of building trust, from family introductions to navigating personal connections in the espionage game. Teamwork is a different vibe here—think more competition than camaraderie. Going from a solo operator to managing a team brings a whole new set of challenges, shifting from a "me" to a "we" mindset. Marc keeps it human, spicing up the spy talk with personal stories. It's like your favorite spy thriller, but with a dose of realness and a dash of humanity. [15:17] Marc reveals a gem from his leadership principles – the "glue guy." It's all about recognizing that everyone on the team matters, from the case officers to the IT and finance folks. Marc shares how, over time, he learned that true success comes from valuing every contribution, not just the visible ones. He recounts a story from the world of baseball, emphasizing the importance of the unsung heroes – the backup catcher who never took the field but caught every bullpen. Marc introduces another leadership principle – "win an Oscar." [18:29] Marc discusses the challenge of leadership – blending authenticity with the need to inspire. Drawing from CIA experiences, he emphasizes the importance of acknowledging tough situations without succumbing to negativity. He also touches on the evolving concept of truth, referencing a Bible verse at the CIA entrance. Marc reflects on their espionage skills, offering insights into navigating the complexities of discerning truth in today's data-driven world. [23:25] Marc has real advice for business. He stresses the CIA's focus on honesty and integrity, not just in missions but also how colleagues treat each other. He shares personal stories about integrity in action and the importance of speaking truth to power. He touches on high-stakes situations, the need for openness in teamwork, and the grounding principles that shape their work. [26:50] Marc sheds light on a side of high-stakes worlds rarely discussed—the human element. He discusses the importance of wellness and resiliency, drawing parallels between his experiences and those in military expeditions. Marc emphasizes the need for patience in careers, highlighting the struggle with issues like alcoholism and divorce. He introduces the concept of a "combat leadership chassis," urging individuals to focus on what they can control for better mental health. [28:03] Marc shares insights on the transition from hands-on leadership to strategic roles. He highlights the challenges of moving from tactical to executive positions, emphasizing the shift from day-to-day details to broader strategic decisions. Marc reflects on the importance of addressing budget presentations, resource meetings, and intelligence priorities in his senior executive role. [31:08] Marc shares a powerful story of overcoming adversity during a counterterrorism operation. He reflects on the loss of colleagues and his decision to return to Afghanistan to avenge their deaths. Marc emphasizes the importance of honoring those who sacrificed their lives in the line of duty. [35:02] Closing quote: And remember, written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. — John F. Kennedy Quotable Quotes "Relationships are everything. I was really good at the end, maybe not so great along the way, but here are the things I learned. What do relationships mean? Well, it means you have to have empathy. You have to have the ability to listen." "Bad news is not like fine wine. It doesn't get better over time." "It's not failing. It's failing and then learning from it. Failure is unacceptable. Failing is okay. That's adversity. That's how you grow and that's how you learn." "That makes me a hell of a recruiter because, again, it's that personal side. But guess what? My two-year or three-year tour is up, and you need to institutionalize that arrangement. So, again, this agent is not spying for me, Marc Polymeropoulos. He's spying for the CIA, for the US. Government. So I have to turn this person over to another officer." "First line managers struggle so much at CIA because all of a sudden it's like, hey, it's not about you. No more cable traffics. Marc Polymeropoulos saved the world. It's more of what did the unit do?" "Everybody matters. It's that power of contribution, and it's that everybody matters. And again, going back to the beginnings of my career, where it's harder to get into the CIA than it is to get into Harvard, it costs a quarter million dollars for the US. Government to train me into this kind of lethal machine." "It means you're on display all the time. You never have a day off as a leader. And I have to be careful with this because you also have to kind of caveat that with you have to be authentic." "But building trust does take kind of repeated instances of doing the right thing. The opposite of that is you can also lose it right away." "Do the right know, just be honest, be ethical, have integrity, and that, in essence, will build trust. And so that, to me, were kind of words that I live by." "You got to take care of yourself, your body, follow the path of these elite athletes who have been doing this for a long time." "Revenge is something that we're not supposed to talk about or use as any kind of motivation for kinetic activities." Here are the books mentioned in this episode Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Marc Polymeropoulos Twitter | @Mpolymer Marc Polymeropoulos LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/marc-polymeropoulos Marc Polymeropoulos Website | www.marcpolymeropoulos.com

Harris III, an illusionist and storyteller, spent much of his life traveling the world performing his unique brand of magic and storytelling for more than two million people on five continents. His book, "The Wonder Switch: The Difference Between Limiting Your Life and Living Your Dream," discusses rediscovering wonder and transforming your life. He highlights the concept of "starting with wow" and the intersection of wonder, and storytelling as crucial roles to effective leadership, stressing the need to reconnect with our initial sense of wonder to find purpose and beat burnout. He advocates for curiosity in leadership, emphasizing the difference between "wow people" who focus on vision and "how people" who analyze problems, while this would also increase creativity to people. He promotes a shift in leadership perception, encouraging individuals to take charge of their stories and challenge the status quo, which he termed as WoW (Wonder-oriented Worldview) level leadership. Harris III asserts that worry is a misuse of imagination, and wonder is the antidote to apathy. https://bit.ly/TLP_389 Key Takeaways: [2:48] Harris III points out that magic often doesn't receive the recognition it deserves as an art form, particularly in the realm of social media. With the limitations imposed by COVID-19, magicians and illusionists had to adapt to continue making a living. Some turned to revealing the behind-the-scenes of magic online, transforming it into humor or pranks. Additionally, Harris III mentions Simon Sinek's book, 'Start with Why,' which emphasizes that effective leaders inspire action in others rather than simply leading them. [4:42] He discusses the "Start with Wow" book, highlighting its perspective that leadership is intertwined with communication, both with others and oneself. The book emphasizes the significance of revisiting the purpose behind your actions, bringing you back to a grounded state. It underscores that wonder is the pathway to achieving something remarkable. The book suggests that unexpected opportunities may arise when you least anticipate them, and staying vigilant is crucial. In times of losing focus or forgetting your initial motivation, the advice is to return to the mindset of wonder, symbolized by "wow." [10:30] Harris III details how curiosity is essentially a wonder in action, describing it as a genuine physiological state that sparks interest in our surroundings. The connection between wonder and storytelling is highlighted, where wonder inspires belief in the potential of new narratives, and storytelling influences behavior. Emphasizing that effective leadership begins with self-leadership, he stresses the importance of fostering curiosity without facing ridicule. Leaders are encouraged to understand that curiosity doesn't mandate blind belief, and it's acceptable to question things even without personal observation. [18:16] He talks about two kinds of negative people: the "wow" people, who are usually pessimistic, and the "how" people, who try to handle their own fears. In meetings as an example, they tend to divide the two, usually choosing how people. But, to come up with a great end, the two must collide - wow playing the role of vision while how plays the role of mission. Harris III relates it to a Ping pong game, where wow will do the action of wonder and how ill do the action of executing. [25:51] Harris III shares the significance of collective creativity within a group. Emphasizing that team members utilizing their creative thinking can result in superior outcomes. He also delves into the notion that a leader's most valuable asset is their imagination, aligning it with the concept of storytelling. Although everyone is inherently born with a natural inclination toward wonder, there is a tendency to lean towards a how mindset. Furthermore, creativity is not an exclusive trait but a fundamental quality inherent in all individuals, as imagination is an ever-present and open aspect of our nature. He draws a distinction between anxiety as a product of imagination and worry and irrational fear as misapplication of imagination. [29:41] Harris III offers his perspective on leadership, focusing primarily on self-leadership, asserting that everyone has the capacity to lead themselves and others. This involves taking charge of your actions and not leaving things to fate, actively pursuing your goals instead of waiting for circumstances to dictate your path. Harris III distinguishes between leaders and managers, noting that leaders are accountable for the future, whereas managers handle present responsibilities. He defines great leadership as excelling in self-leadership, encapsulated in what he terms "WoW level leadership," comprising self-leadership, team leadership, and marketplace leadership. [43:05] Harris III shares his 30-second thoughts if given the chance to speak in front of a crowd: Roald Dahl famously said that those who don't believe in magic will never find it. And that's because we think that seeing is believing. And if seeing is believing is true, that means that we will be able to believe once we see. But seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. Because what we believe has the power to change what we see. Wonder is the state in which we have permission to believe. And if we can live wide awake to a state of wonder, we can always start with WoW. And if we start with WoW in leading ourselves and the way we lead others, and the way we lead in the marketplace at large, we can create a better future both for ourselves, for others and the world. Because great leadership, wow level leadership, always starts with wow. [49:45] Closing Quote: Remember, he who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe is as good as dead. His eyes are closed. - Albert Einstein Quotable Quotes: "Wisdom and wonder are intertwined" "Leaders believe and invited us to step up in leadership" "The quickest way to find our way back to it is to start with wow. Understand that that wow gives birth to your why, and it can help you pave the way." "You were meant for more. So lean in, pay a little bit closer attention" "It's the wow moment that whispers to us and says, there's more going on here than meets the eye." "Wipe the fog from your glasses so that you can see a little bit more clearly because something is trying to wake you up to a new reality." "Understand that curiosity is simply wondered in action." "Great leadership in the marketplace is the result of leading a team, that all starts with leading yourself." "Only in a state of wonder where our brain loosens its grip on those stories and opens us up to the possibility of what could be." "Curiosity is essential, not just in leadership, but in every form of coaching. When we are cynical instead of curious, when we are worried instead of in wonder, what ends up happening is we push off the stories we're being invited into." "Cynicism is the fear posing as confidence. What you see is not always what you get." "Human beings are not very good at determining what is real or true based on what our senses perceive. Our senses are so easily fooled, and even our emotions can easily lead us astray." "Believing isn't about seeing; it's navigating reality through the lens of our own stories." "When we choose to believe something, it's what we choose to believe, which is a narrative that changes the story." This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Harris III: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Harris III LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/harris-iii Harris III Website | www.harrisiii.com Harris III Twitter | @harrisiii Harris III Instagram | @harrisiii

Jim and Jan talk about how difficult it is to maintain focus in a world that moves quickly. They state that a lack of time and resources is causing people to feel overburdened, busy, and frustrated. The paradox of choice, which holds that having too many options causes indecision and dissatisfaction with decisions made, as well as the addiction to busyness, and the difficulty of effectively managing time. Burnout and frustration can also result from being overly busy and realizing that you are not making any progress. They also stress how crucial it is to prioritize, simplify, and base decisions on what offers the best value for your time, money, and energy. Limiting the number of meetings per day and establishing boundaries with calendars are two more doable solutions to deal with these problems. Jim and Jan also talk about the importance of understanding the value of crisis leadership, that being in a constant state of crisis is not productive. They address the idea of availability. They share the importance of staying focused and finding fulfillment in one's career, and emphasizing the need for clear values and goals to maintain focus. https://bit.ly/TLP—388 Key Takeaways: [1:21] Jim and Jan talk about the reality of today's working environment, where people are spending their life too much on their tasks until it leads them to frustrations. They also added that a lot of people are workaholics and keep themselves busy to the point of losing focus on their goals. People, especially young professionals, might be losing track as they are trying to be a jack of all trades. They also added that it is calmer to respond rather than reacting to anything, and learning not to say 'yes' to everything. [4:59] They share about the nature of multitasking, in which you can't do more than one task at the same time, but it is more like bouncing from one to another. Jim and Jan also share the pillars of self-reliant leadership: Lead self, Lead others, and Lead the organization. Further, they also discuss the importance of making a decision. They explain that the more choices you have, the more you can't come up with a very good decision. By having too many options, you will never find your true happiness regardless of what you chose because you will always wonder what would be the scenario if you chose the other option. [11:32] Jim and Jan share that when aiming the goal of maintaining focus, you have to include discipline. It is imperative to look at your calendar and organize what you need to do- from the least to the most priority. Fully loading your schedule will lead you to frustrations and the missed opportunity of recharging yourself. The advantage of limiting your schedule will also give you time to prepare and follow up the things you have to do. [15:07] They mention the way people should respond to things and other people. They also share the seven villains of chaos: Con - he is the leader of the chaos that helped you to get where you are but end up not helping you anymore. Jack of all trades - the one who wants to do everything and do multitasking. Gorilla - the strong one but makes a mess in everything. Miss opportunity- is the distraction and gets you far away from what is important. Siphon - he is the pain in the neck. The jumbler- is someone that throws a bunch of crap against a wall and hopes it sticks. And the overload - is someone that masks everything they do with data, but it paralyzes you into a state of analysis paralysis. [24:30] Jim and Jan talk about being content and fulfilled at the same time. You have to remain focused and set aside the things that do not have value or your least priorities. They also mention that it is hard to maintain focus if you are not aware of what you really want, and you don't know what you value. It is imperative to know your goals before taking the path. [29:46] Closing Quote: At the end of the day, you can't control the results; you can only control your effort level and your focus Quotable Quotes: "Saying yes to everything, never saying no, will let your time control you" "You have to control your reaction and respond to things rather" "You are not paid to be busy" "The more options you have, the harder it is to decide and to decide well." "When we talk about focus, it is about is prioritizing" "The more options you have, the less happy you will be no matter what you decide on, because you're always going to wonder if you made the right decision" "Good enough is the best. The best isn't the best." "It's hard to be focused if you don't know what you value, and you don't know what you want." This is the book mentioned in this discussion: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com

Larry Kaufman is the author of "The Networking Connecting Giving (NCG) Factor: A Formula for Building Life-Changing Relationships from College to Retirement." He is a connector, giver, and rainmaker who lives his life to help others succeed. He is also a senior-level Sales & Operations Leader and has been a globally-published speaker and trainer on LinkedIn for more than a decade. Larry shares his insights about the nature of networking, which is to know people rather than purely focusing on business. He highlights the significance of approaching interactions with a genuine curiosity about others and actively seeking ways to offer assistance. Additionally, Larry shares his perspective on networking events, noting their continued relevance as long as there is a clear goal or purpose for attendance. https://bit.ly/tlp-387 Key Takeaways: [03:40] Larry shares his personal views on what networking should look like. It should be focused more on getting to know more and sharing stories with people. In that way, you are also selling what you are capable of doing and what you have, but not focusing solely on exchanging cards to get the other people's attention. He emphasizes that networking is more about building relationships and not purely marketing. [06:51] He shares some tips on how to build rapport with other people such as asking personal questions, just as long as they are comfortable enough to share. You can also ask them things that are not usual to business terms, like what do they value or want, or something related to their outside business world. He also reiterated that by asking them personal questions, you are able to get them out from what they really feel because we don't have a solid idea on what they are going through. [13:02] Larry advises young professionals on how they should conquer their fears in a networking industry, on what they can give, or how they should do it effectively. Young professionals do not have to do it alone, so they should not be afraid to ask for help, especially at the onset of their career. In regard to asking for help, Larry also added that it should not only be done at the start of their career but should be up until retirement which he also included it in his book. [20:07] He mentions a practical strategy for beginners in networking, which is that talking to one person in a month is not a bad start. He also reiterated that this also works at any level of one's career. They can do this by checking people that surround them and have to add one person to their network at a time until you manage to increase it little by little. Larry also mentions that for today's generation, there are a lot of tools that can be used to communicate with other people such as zooms, FaceTime, and any other social media platforms. [29:29] Larry also shares how to be indispensable and the importance of this to a company. Being indispensable can be by showing other people that you are a shoulder they can lean on. It also means you are there to support them all the way and by getting to know them, you can easily understand their needs and can provide them what you can give. [39:20] Closing Quote: Remember, "No one has ever become poor by giving".- Anne Frank Quotable Quotes: " If you lead with yourself, you will live with yourself." "Don't call me to fix your tire, but I can call someone to fix your tire. It may not stay on, but I would respond." "The more I learn about people personally and professionally, I find ways to be helpful." "People must not be too quick to talk about themselves, but nothing to do with the other person," "Giving comes back in many ways, it may be never from that person, but it comes back in other ways." "You don't have to be a connector and a giver alone, you can ask" "You can be a mentor, you can volunteer your time to a charity, you don't have to play the world's perceptions" "Meeting one new person that we could add to our network is already powerful" This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Larry: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Larry Kaufman LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/larrykaufman Larry Kaufman Website | www.kaufmassn-larry.com Larry Kaufman Twitter | @veryconnected

Bill Snow, Author of "Mergers and Acquisitions for Dummies." shares the business valuations and the importance of understanding EBITDA. He also talks about the challenges and misconceptions of making acquisitions. Lack of planning, communication, and dishonesty can derail transactions in terms of negotiations and finance. He also counsels entrepreneurs to monitor cash flow statements while managing their companies. Regarding acquisitions, Bill advises meticulous preparation and deciding before placing a bid on a company whether an acquisition is a need or a nice-to-have. https://bit.ly/TLP-386 Key Takeaways: [3:13] Bill talks about the nature of mergers and acquisitions, the price terms and timing, and the payment structure such as the EBITDA. He also explains its usage and how it doesn't work with other circumstances. Bill discusses that EBITDA works different from company to another. [10:47] He shares the three segments of mergers and acquisitions which are the search, negotiate, and finance. As he explains, finance is the easiest among the three, since you can just borrow or get other investors to suffice your needs. The second one is negotiating, which he defines as the most interesting part if only one is familiar with his/ her actions. The last one is search, which enacts you to look for a company that will buy. He added that one thing to differentiate you among other business people is creating a thesis or proposals to discover what's in it for your business to spark. [15: 08] Bill shares how to make contact and build relationships. He also speaks about how to use deliberate and intentional approach in establishing peer-to-peer relationships. This explains the expectation one should be thinking of when entering this kind of business, where you will be negotiating with five people, but only one will win the deal. [18:07] He explains the need for an accountant to discover the preferred structure for the seller to effectively communicate to the buyer and the importance of disclosure of problems to frame discussions to avoid resulting in a much bigger problem. Bill also explains how important it is to be honest with even the smallest problem because it might result in a bigger problem if not solved earlier. [21:44] Bill shares how important math is when it comes to leadership, the same with how business and math is interconnected as well. He also emphasizes the need to be confident in terms of their businesses because they have learned about it in the first place. In addition, it is also recommended to study other companies with the same company as yours for you to be able to understand and create a better strategy. He also added how important it is to work with a financial advisor instead of going with the flow. [26:27] He explains the importance and concept of timeliness and due diligence in integrating acquired business. Bill also shares how imperative it is to understand your strength and weakness when doing transactions to determine where you are good at for you to improve what you are lacking and enhance where you are better at doing. [38:32] Closing Quote: Remember, get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. -Mark Twain Quotable Quotes: "The way a business is valued from a buyer's perspective is quite different from how people run their businesses." "Put together your plans, get very granular to make acquisitions." "Don't ask. Offer something. Try to figure out what you can offer." "A small issue that may not be a big deal for most people, if hidden, may result in a bigger problem." "Fix what you can and work with a financial advisor instead of finger up in the air." "The key thing with investment bankers advisors is their ability to negotiate." "The most important things are the ability to negotiate and the ability to get a transaction done." "When you have something in due diligence, get it done in a timely fashion. It will take a couple of years before a company finally came back enough, and it traded." "You're going to have some rough waves, and some people may not work well with you, you have to get rid of them, or they'll leave. But you'll be surprised, other people who are kind of off in a corner, forgotten, turn out to be rock stars" This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Bill Snow: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Bill Snow LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/billsnow Bill Snow Website | www.billsnow.com Bill Snow Twitter | @bill_snow

Selena Rezvani, a renowned speaker on self-advocacy and leadership and the author of the Wall Street Journal best-selling book, "Quick Confidence: Be Authentic, Boost Connections, and Make Bold Bets on Yourself." She has been quoted, interviewed, and profiled by CareerBuilder, The Wall Street Journal, Oprah.com, The LA Times, Marie Claire, NBC television, and ABC television. Selena talks about how important it is to speak up for oneself at work. Selena also discusses effective strategies for leaders to encourage open communication and self-expression within their teams, emphasizing the significance of creating an inclusive work environment and shared insights on addressing situations where team members are interrupted or talked over. Selena stresses that instead of viewing power as bravado, we should reinterpret it as confidence grounded in a learning mindset. https://bit.ly/TLP-385 Key Takeaways: [3:42] Selena discussed the value of speaking up at work, but she also mentioned that some leaders feel free to express their opinions in front of their subordinates. Selena additionally speaks about her two points of view when someone tries to voice a concern: first, have you earned the right to ask, and second, some people ask for what they want, and some people take what is given to them. [4:41] She shares the need to foster more cultures that are focused on self-advocacy, where managers and other leaders allow employees some leeway to make decisions and approach some of their work or work arrangements more like cafeteria style, where they can take what appeals to them and have more voice and choice over what they do. But if managers or leaders are not comfortable with those requests, Selena said it's impossible to work it out. [13:27] Selena also concurs with one of Dr. Pfeffer's old sayings that "power is about 20% conferred and 80% taken," which means that power is typically more openly claimed than bestowed upon a single, exceptional person. She stated that it is something that should be remembered. Selena also shares how she frequently participates in some of her own advocacy work and encourages people to avoid waiting to be invited, instead, notice and claim it. [18:03] She also shares the tactics for leaders to support others in speaking up for themselves and giving others a chance to be heard, and how to step in when someone is being talked over or interrupted. Selena also brings up the common topic that people discuss, which is being too critical of oneself. She also talks about how giving yourself grace is the cherry on top, and how it's crucial to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself a break in order to take care of yourself. [21:30] Selena talks about how to be heard in meetings. She says you have to speak up more, but not so loudly that you have to scream for them to hear you. Another is rearranging your chair to draw people's attention and make a good impression. Another tactic is to unintentionally read your resume aloud; it's akin to telling them what you accomplished and what more you're capable of. [25:50] She mentions the American culture of silence, which states that it takes four seconds for the person on the other side of you to become uneasy, insecure, or rejected. She stresses how crucial it is to understand that occasionally, silence can be used against us. Selena also talks about making a plan for how to voice your opinions in meetings so that you don't get silenced, for this will help you become more confident and share your knowledge. [34:15] Selena also shares finding one's life's center of balance and control, as well as the value of trying new things and thinking outside the box. She says that positive things come from letting go. Furthermore, ruminating is a bad habit to get into before bed. Perhaps it's even letting go in that sense where someone is going to let go of that problem or thought. Good things come from letting go a little and letting serendipity and other people's decisions occasionally. Because control is a funny thing and our starting points can differ greatly. [40:22] Closing Quote: Remember, the most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence. - Blake Lively Quotable Quotes: "The more senior you are, the more likely you are to interrupt. "I may not be the best at this, but I'm not the worst at it, either. It's not that I'm never going to get it. It's that I haven't cracked it yet." "So much power, the ability to use our voice, is up for grabs. Notice it, claim it, don't wait to be invited." "Leaders can stoke confidence in others by ensuring their voices are heard and respected." "Techniques include putting the spotlight back on someone who was interrupted, asking for their thoughts, and making small gestures of support." "Use humor, lightening up, and using positive self-talk as ways to improve confidence." "Respect one's resume by relating experiences to current projects or challenges." "I think the other thing is we need to create more self advocacy oriented cultures where managers and leaders are given some latitude for people to have choices and approach some of their work or their work arrangements a little bit more like cafeteria style, where they can take what's appealing to them, where they have more say in voice and choice in what they do." "Before going into a room, create a plan" "Confidence is Power." This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Selena Rezvani: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Selena Rezvani LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/selenarezvani Selena Rezvani Website | www.selenarezvani.com Selena Rezvani Twitter | @selenarezvani Selena Rezvani Instagram | @selenarezvani Selena Rezvani Facebook | Selena Rezvani

Mark Mellett, Founder and Director of Green Compass, with a distinguished 48-year military career, served as Chief of the Navy and Ireland's 31st Chief of Defense. He's a strategic expert, recognized for leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic. Mark chairs the Maritime Area Regulatory Authority, leads Sage Advocacy, and is a Lifetime Fellow Council Chair at The Irish Management Institute. His research focuses on innovation, climate change, and social issues like ageism and gender equality. Notably, under his command, the Irish flag ship's crew ranked among Ireland's top 50 workplaces. Mark brings a wealth of experience and a commitment to positive change. Mark discusses modern leadership, highlighting the importance of technology, balancing doctrine with adaptability, and fostering trust through open communication. Mark addresses the challenges of the strategic landscape, emphasizing diverse teams and collaboration across sectors. As chair of Sage Advocacy, he advocates for gender balance, challenges traditional retirement norms, and stresses the wisdom of older workers. Transitioning to Green Compass, Mark underscores the urgency of addressing climate change, emphasizing the value of biodiversity. https://bit.ly/TLP-384 Key Takeaways: [01:28] Mark Mellett, founder of Green Compass and a seasoned military leader. Mark shares his diverse roles, from chairing the Maritime Area Regulatory Authority to leading Sage Advocacy. [04:10] Mark discusses modern leadership in 2023. He emphasizes subsidiarity and mission command for empowering young leaders. Mark talks about the crucial role of technology in decision-making and urges leaders to balance adherence to doctrine with adaptability. Mark also touches on building trust by sharing responsibility for mistakes and embracing a "black box thinking" culture of open communication. [08:56] Mark explores the challenges of the modern strategic landscape. He emphasizes the impact of information flows and technology while underlining the necessity of diverse teams. Mark discusses the complexities of managing diverse opinions and bureaucratic structures, advocating for collaboration and coalition-building. He highlights the integration of government, civil society, and the market for effective progress. Mark also talks about the importance of focusing on communication, stressing the importance of investing time in explanation for better understanding and alignment. [14:30] Mark talks about the evolving definition of "like-minded" leaders in a world of diverse opinions. He emphasizes the importance of finding common ground through dialogue and discussion, even amidst differences. Drawing from his experience in Afghanistan, Mark shares a story of breaking down silos to achieve a common goal—successful elections. Mark also shares a powerful Irish saying, "niat Kakur lekela," which means "There is no strength without you.". [16:08] As the chair of Sage Advocacy, Mark discusses his advocacy for the rights of older people in Ireland. He emphasizes the strategic risk of gender imbalance and highlights the correlation between the gender gap and global peace. Mark addresses challenges such as aging populations and dementia. He challenges the traditional retirement model, stressing the wisdom older workers bring to the workforce. [25:20] Mark discusses Green Compass, his response to the pressing issue of climate change. He reflects on his childhood in Ireland and the drastic environmental changes he has witnessed. Emphasizing biodiversity's critical role, Mark stresses the need to assign value to it for preservation. He delves into the anthropocene, highlighting the tangible impacts, such as recent climate-related disasters claiming thousands of lives. He also touches on population forecasts and the concerning shift from a green to a gray world. Despite the challenges, Mark emphasizes the leadership responsibility to address and mitigate these issues. [33:17] Mark shares a funny anecdote from his early days as a young officer, emphasizing the importance of clear communication. The story illustrates the need for leaders to articulate expectations clearly to avoid unexpected outcomes. Mark reflects on leadership responsibilities and the value of admitting mistakes as opportunities for learning and discovery. [37:13] Closing quote: Remember, Unity is strength when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved. – Mattie Stepanek Quotable Quotes: "And one further rule besides subsidiarity is nobody should feel uncomfortable in the workplace." "The more diversity you have in your team, no matter what level, the more capacity you have to deal with complexity." "But if you maintain a network and a framework and able to build that coalition of like-minded leaders, you may well find a solution." "If you don't have economic security, you don't have the fuel in the tank to keep on going." "Sometimes, people who assist in decision-making, will actually do so with a vested interest that sometimes is about disenfranchising older people." "Sustainability is something you should be willing to punish yourself for if you don't uphold." "Who owns biodiversity? You do. I do. We do. But when we don't put value on it, it's wasted, it's damaged, it actually becomes extinct." "In leadership, do not step back, do everything possible to nudge and push and to cajole, to build that coalition of like-minded leaders who might not entirely agree on everything, to actually make those decisions required." This is the book mentioned in our discussion with Mark: Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Mark Mellett LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mellett Mark Mellett Website | www.greencompass.ie Mark Mellett Twitter | @mark_mellett

Susan Goldin-Meadow, a professor at the University of Chicago and author of "Thinking with Your Hands: The Surprising Science Behind How Gestures Shape Our Thoughts," has studied gestures' role in communication for 47 years. She points out how gestures are vital for conveying information and understanding. Susan discusses how leaders can use gestures to gauge message comprehension when explaining tasks or concepts. She suggests that asking others to explain while observing their gestures provides insights into their comprehension. Susan explores various gestures and their meanings in business and academics. She also touches on the differences between sign and spoken language, gesture use in video communication, and cultural differences in gesture interpretation. https://bit.ly/TLP-383 Key Takeaways [03:17] Susan Goldin-Meadow, a professor at the University of Chicago and author of "Thinking with Your Hands: The Surprising Science Behind How Gestures Shape Our Thoughts." explores the fascinating role of gestures in communication. Susan talks about a research that shows that even blind individuals use gestures when they speak, revealing the inherent connection between language and gestures. Susan discusses the power of silent gestures in bridging language barriers when communicating in foreign countries. [08:13] Susan reveals how gestures can uncover the truth, even when words don't match. She advises leaders to be cautious about their gestures during sensitive conversations. She explains how to assess understanding, asking others to explain in their own words, watching for alignment between speech and gestures, which can indicate comprehension. [15:49] Susan explores how gestures are a key part of learning, even in unexpected contexts like explaining math problems. Children often gesture when asked to explain, revealing hidden thoughts. Susan also discusses individual differences in gesturing and the surprising case of a young woman born without arms who still felt like she was gesturing, highlighting the intrinsic nature of gestures in communication. [19:06] Jan asked about how unique gestures and hand signals are used in professional settings, like the military. Susan explains that professionals in various fields often develop specific gestures to convey meanings within their communities. She also mentions the role of engagement and enthusiasm in using gestures to complement speech. Additionally, Susan talks about the importance of physical touch and nonverbal signals in the workplace. [24:40] Susan explores the power of multimodal learning, where utilizing multiple ways of learning and communicating can be highly effective. She discusses how incorporating gestures and tactile elements can enhance comprehension and retention, making us better communicators and learners. Susan emphasizes that gesture goes beyond just being part of multimodal learning; it exploits it, providing a unique way to convey information. [27:02] Susan discusses the importance of hands-on training, effective communication, and gestures in the modern workplace. She explores how incorporating gestures and movements into training can enhance learning and improve communication. She also touches on the challenges of remote communication and making gestures visible on online platforms. Susan shares insights into the cultural significance of gestures and why it's essential to be mindful of different meanings across regions. [31:51] Jim shared insights from a previous guest, Jim Thompson, who discussed the impact of adding gestures when acknowledging mistakes in youth sports. Susan also touches on the significance of handshakes in sealing agreements and the universality of such gestures in different cultures. Susan hints at her ongoing research in brain imaging and the curiosity to understand the neural processes underlying gestures in communication. Susan challenges listeners to overcome any hesitation and recognize the value of gestures in conveying and understanding messages. She also encourages everyone to be more aware of how their gestures influence others and to consciously observe the gestures of those they interact with. [36:01] Closing quote: And remember, to communicate through Silence is a link between the thoughts of man. — Marcel Marceau Quotable Quotes "Language on its own may not be capable of expressing the full range of human thought." "Talking and gesturing are one phenomenon. They're very integrated, and you don't need to be taught." "What we're doing with our hands is we're putting ideas out in space." "We can put our ideas out there, literally out there, and it's in sync with our words." "Gestures seem to have a special hold on the truth." "Often the truth comes out in their hands." "Be careful of your gestures if you really don't want something to be said... people read them. They don't even know they're reading them, but they do hear them." "It is very clear they're not getting it when your gestures and your speech aren't saying the same thing." "When you ask people to explain things, they tend to gesture quite a lot." "If we can get someone to learn something by having them operate multiple modalities, perhaps we can be better communicators." "There's lots of evidence that multimodal communication or multimodal learning is better than unimodal." "What gesture is doing here is exploiting multimodal." "Remembering, retaining, and generalizing to a new context, you're better off having done the gesture than the actions on the objects." "I'm into face-to-face communication. It's what I love, actually. And for teaching as well, I think it's important." "I like to make sure the gestures are visible." "I think the biggest challenge is using your hands well and not being afraid to." "Understanding how your gestures are having an impact on other people and trying to read other people's gestures could be helpful." Here are the books mentioned in this episode Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Susan Goldin Meadow LinkedIn Susan Goldin Meadow Susan Goldin Meadow Website | voices.uchicago.edu/goldinmeadowlab

Talia Fox is the CEO of KUSI Global, Inc. A leadership strategist and a legacy builder, she has transformed thousands of executives over the last two decades in every sector, including major corporations in health, higher education, technology, and government. Talia shares her unique approach to leadership and her upcoming book, "The Power of Conscious Connection: 4 Habits to Transform How You Live and Lead." Talia's book focuses on four habits: Listen, Observe, Value, and Engage. She stresses the importance of happiness in achieving success and introduces key leadership skills: emotional intelligence, systems thinking, and cultural competence. Talia also discusses dealing with diverse values on a team, the significance of aligning values in both concept and behavior, and the value of practicing restraint for gaining wisdom. https://bit.ly/TLP-382 Key Takeaways [02:22] Talia Fox, CEO of KUSI Global, Inc., is a leadership strategist with a unique mission: making people happy and improving lives. She emphasizes that personal happiness is the key to achieving remarkable results in business and leadership. [03:58] Talia shares her unique approach to leadership. She introduces the KUSI competency model, comprising Knowledge, Understanding, Strategy, and Implementation. Talia identifies three game-changing skills for leaders: Emotional intelligence, Systems thinking, Cultural competence. Talia explores how these competencies relate to disciplined leadership with an emphasis on adaptability. [11:21] Talia discusses the importance of emotional intelligence, systems thinking, and cultural competence in leadership. These competencies work together to navigate complex situations and promote adaptability. Talia introduces Conscious Equity, emphasizing its holistic approach to leadership development. Addressing resistance, she suggests embracing it as an opportunity for growth and unity by focusing on the heart of the matter: people. [19:10] Talia introduces her upcoming book, "The Power of Conscious Connection: 4 Habits to Transform How You Live and Lead," released on October 24, 2023. She discusses the book's four essential habits: Listen, Observe, Value, and Engage. These habits encourage individuals to slow down, gain self-awareness, and connect with their inner wisdom. Talia explains how each habit serves a specific purpose, such as emotional intelligence, systems thinking, and cultural competence. The book emphasizes customization and aligning behavior with personal values, creating a positive impact in one's life and the world. [22:35] Jim and Jan ask Talia to talk about understanding your values, assumptions, beliefs, and expectations (VABE) when communicating with others. Talia discusses an exercise called "Identity Therapy" where you choose a role model and think about how they would tackle your challenges. This helps you explore your values and recognize any habits that might be hindering your progress. Talia emphasizes that values can change as you grow, and it's essential to align them with your goals and make deliberate choices that reflect those values in your life. [25:18] Talia shares a powerful childhood experience that set her on a path to the work she does today. At eight years old, she helped her illiterate father navigate contracts. A key moment was when she confronted a restaurant hostess, realizing that her actions should lead to a better outcome for everyone. This early experience inspired her to pursue leadership development as a way to foster connection and improve people's work experiences. [28:54] Talia's Love System - Listen, Observe, Value, Engage - is a foundation for success. Barriers to its effectiveness include ego, judgment, and trying to change others. Focus on practicing these skills without ego and judgment. Embrace the basics of human interaction: listening, understanding systems, aligning with values, and engaging effectively. [34:07] Talia shares insights into dealing with diverse values on a team. Understanding that values may be shared in concept but not in behavior is crucial. Aligning with values requires a shared mental model of what those values look like in action. Talia shares the significance of practicing restraint and how it can lead to greater wisdom. Talia's book, "The Power of Conscious Connection: Four Habits to Transform How You Live and Lead," is highly recommended. [43:14] Closing quote: I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. — Henry David Thoreau Quotable Quotes "Make the people happy and better and listen to them without bias." "Emotional intelligence is a game changer." "Systems thinking is the capacity to look at things and analyze them, not based on our bias and our experiences, but really the feedback loops of what is in the moment and what we're seeing that's changing as time goes on." "Cultural competence is the person who is willing to know. 'I don't know about everyone in this room, and I am willing to show up and be present in the moment.'" "It's one of those things where you're engaging in a very present way and allowing yourself to be open to new ideas and new approaches." "And so with resistance, we turn that resistance into an opportunity to connect and to identify key questions or the one thing that needs to be addressed." "Leadership is about people, and the only thing that we're working on is being better at interacting and managing, leading, inspiring, moving people forward." "The Power of Conscious Connection is about being conscious about who you are in the world and connected to your power to make a difference." "Listening is an opportunity for us to slow down, and it is a portal to wisdom." "Values, Assumptions, Beliefs and Expectations. When you're listening and observing, pay attention to other people's values, assumptions, beliefs, expectations before you engage." "There's something tricky about values. You've got to figure out what's yours, what's other people's values. There may be some things that you value that are just bad habits that are holding you back." "Conscious equity is not a license to start looking at the world and identifying all of the lack of listening, observing, alignment with values, or poor engagement going on. We start with modeling that experience and being patient, kind, and open for the journey that others are on." "Observation is associated with systems thinking. Now, you're not just observing by way of looking, but I think that's good too, with your senses." "Values, that's an opportunity for you to pause for a moment and say, this is where you customize life." "It matters less what you do, how you do it. It matters more why you do it." "You can share what you do, but you don't want to judge or even try to begin to get... judgment can really cloud all of these skills." "The emotional intelligence, systems thinking and cultural competence are so critical." "I think sometimes we get values confused with choices and behaviors, preferences and desires." "When we're really hyper achievers and we're very excited about getting results, sometimes we need to just pause a moment and hold back." Here are the books mentioned in this episode Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Talia Fox LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/taliafox KUSI Global Website | www.kusitraining.com Talia Fox Instagram | @taliafoxspeaks Talia Fox YouTube | www.youtube.com/channel/@taliafox2770 Talia Fox Twitter | @TaliaFoxSpeaks

Jim Vaselopulos, founder of Rafti Advisors, discusses the importance of skill development to solve core business problems. He highlights the complexity of sales, emphasizing that it involves more than just results; it's about human interactions. Jim discusses the challenge of defining and teaching leadership due to its delicate balance and the absence of absolutes. He shares personal stories about mentors who had a significant impact on his life. He also mentions the influence of Stoicism on leadership and the value of embracing ancient wisdom in the modern world. https://bit.ly/TLPMM010 Key Takeaways [01:28] In this episode, Jan started to reflect on their 12-year working relationship and discuss Jim's unique character traits. He touches on how Jim, despite his preference for luxury, excels in challenging tasks but dislikes uphill climbs. Jim's positivity, determination, and ability to keep spirits high during tough situations are highlighted. Jan also mentioned JIm's dedication to helping fellow veterans. [04:29] Jim discusses the universality of business problems and the role of skills training. Jim shares his insights from consulting and the importance of recognizing both uniqueness and commonality in challenges. He focuses on the complexity of sales, emphasizing the significance of human interactions and understanding psychology for sales success. They also briefly mention the changing landscape of business leadership. [11:02] Jim explains that leadership is all about striking a delicate balance, such as holding people accountable while allowing room for mistakes. It involves setting boundaries and granting freedom to find one's path. Leadership is about finding the right balance, and it's not easily explained but better experienced, much like learning to ride a bike. Jim stresses that leadership is about harmonizing different elements, making it complex to teach and understand. [12:37] Jim discusses shared responsibility in leadership and how leaders need to take accountability alongside their team when things go wrong. He touches upon the challenge of younger professionals insisting they are right and explores how numbers and math fit into decision-making. Jim highlights that many people struggle with math, which often leads to accepting numbers without scrutiny. He explains that in business, there are often multiple valid answers, and real-world situations involve complexity and various factors. He stresses the importance of questioning assumptions and knowing when to challenge or accept them. [16:38] Jim explores the idea that patience is a virtue and how it reflects trust and confidence in others and oneself. Jim explains that patience indicates trust in someone's strategy and the need for self-trust. He touches on self-regulation and how heroes in movies often control their emotions, while villains are undone by their inability to do so. [18:44] Jim discusses the concept of conscious competence and its link to achieving more with less effort. Jim shares his experience of working more efficiently by focusing on what adds value and eliminating distractions. He also mentions the influence of ancient philosophies like Stoicism on their approach to leadership and highlights the timeless wisdom in these teachings. He explores the value of understanding the "why" behind success, effective work strategies, and the wisdom of ancient philosophies in leadership. [23:55] Jim delves into the book's structure and the role of curiosity as a central element. He shares a personal story involving a chance encounter with Neil Keating, which led to a significant career opportunity. He discusses the importance of giving back and paying it forward, touching on moments of generosity that can change lives. Plus, they reveal the presence of Easter eggs in the book and how readers can discover them. [35:29] Closing quote: And remember, tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn. — Benjamin Franklin Quotable Quotes "Skills training can give you time and space to get to the core problem. So sometimes improving your skills can help mask a problem or make a problem less severe, but it usually never addresses the core problem." "Sales is often treated as a result rather than the complex set of human interactions it is." "Leadership is about a delicate balance, about holding people accountable, but letting them make mistakes." "There is no ground truth." "Patience is the truest form of trust and confidence." "You want to work less and achieve more. That comes from conscious competence." "You need to experience the loss of balance or the ability to make your own balance, to understand balance." "Conscious competence is where the real value is that allows you to work less and achieve more." "Curiosity unlocks everything else. Without curiosity, you can't get any further." "Clarity is an outcome." "There is no better way to clarify your thinking than to put it in writing." Here are the books mentioned in this episode Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Jim Vaselopulos Website | www.businesswisdom.com Jim Vaselopulos LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/jimvaselopulos Jim Vaselopulos Twitter | @jim_vas