You Have Permission

This week, I sat down with Katelyn Beaty and Roxanne Stone, the fantastic hosts of the Saved by the City podcast. I asked them for their take on the "masculinity crisis" some have described in our cultural moment. From their experiences dating in New York City to their observations about the dearth of male role models in many kids' lives, they painted a picture of the loneliness, frustration and loss of purpose afflicting a lot of guys these days. Many traditionally male-coded traits and roles have been culturally devalued in recent decades in a way that has left a lot of men feeling adrift. Katelyn made the point that while working for gender parity in leadership is important, hyper-focusing on metrics like representation in the Fortune 500 C-suites overlooks a lot of other elements of human flourishing. Roxanne noted that we still have not had a society-wide conversation about redefining success and valorizing things like teaching, caretaking, and community-building that have historically been relegated to the feminine sphere.Katelyn and Roxanne were emphatic that women have a huge stake in helping stem this crisis, even if their first instinct may be an exasperated "Haven't men had their day in the sun long enough?" As Katelyn put it, men's issues are human issues, and in the long run, the genders rise and fall together. Lonely, angry, purposeless men are more likely to lash out in anti-social ways that endanger everyone.**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/GPGGTdTEhYwPrevious Episode "Christianity Today Staffers Katelyn Beaty and Roxanne Stone":https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000556178804____________________________________REGISTER for THEOLOGY BEER CAMP:https://homebrewedchristianity.lpages.co/theology-beer-camp-24/YHP use code "RETURNOFYHP" for $25 off your ticket!____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The spiritual education of children can be daunting, especially when parents have more questions about God than answers. Does this necessarily lead to a dead end, or are there tools available when we have very little “bedrock” on which to stand?Meredith Anne Miller feels that mainstream Christian children's education focuses too heavily on making kids obedient, rather than inviting exploration. Meredith advocates for an approach centered on wonder, curiosity, and relationship -- sharing about God's character and love while making ample space for kids' questions, doubts, and personal journeys.We also respond to a listener question about specific issues with the Lord’s Prayer as a standard family/bedtime option.**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/19GZZaSYZwUMeredith’s Substack:https://meredithannemiller.substack.com/Other YHP Episodes around Raising Kids:#174 Meredith Miller - “Helping Kids Know God in Healthy Ways”:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000594695988#166 Bekah McNeil - “Love & Perfectionism in Raising Kids”:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000582889496____________________________________REGISTER for THEOLOGY BEER CAMP:https://homebrewedchristianity.lpages.co/theology-beer-camp-24/YHP use code "RETURNOFYHP" for $25 off your ticket!____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was joined by editor, podcaster, and novelist Jason Kirk to discuss how he put his Evangelical upbringing — barely distinguishable from my own — into his recent novel Hell Is A World Without You. We also discussed the power of storytelling to capture the overlap of complex ideas, fear of Hell, queer affirmation, Dune, and more. **Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/69-5jPEmrBEJason’s Book “ Hell Is a World Without You”: https://www.amazon.com/Hell-World-Without-Jason-Kirk/dp/1735492647https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/p/novel“Pretty Good Vibrations” Episode mentioned - Further Seems Forever Deep Dive:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pretty-good-vibrations/id1652779250?i=1000651894374___________________REGISTER for THEOLOGY BEER CAMP:https://homebrewedchristianity.lpages.co/theology-beer-camp-24/YHP use code "RETURNOFYHP" for $25 off your ticket!____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode, I spoke with Elias Dummer, a musician, marketer, and former singer-songwriter of the Canadian Christian rock band The City Harmonic. We talked about the power and potential of contemporary worship music, exploring its role as a "spiritual technology" and its ability to unite people across various divisions -- class, race, theology, etc. And yes, in case you are wondering, I had to set aside my own personal distaste for Contemporary Christian Music and worship music, but I was happy to do so, all in the name of science, of course!Elias shared his unique background, coming from an ecumenical, missional context rather than a typical megachurch setting. I liked how this challenged common assumptions about contemporary worship music and its association with private piety and white Evangelical tribalism.We delved into the research Elias and others are doing about worship music, touching on concepts like Emile Durkheim’s collective effervescence and the ability of music to manipulate emotions. Acknowledging the power that worship leaders hold can help them use this influence responsibly. We agreed that being transparent about the mechanisms at play can help protect people from potential harm and abuse.Dan’s old band “Pacific Gold”:https://open.spotify.com/artist/5JiCHmso7KrIrNdhjRuElw?si=DOHu-J1wTyeQ6Rh7ET565gElias’s Band “The City Harmonic” on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/artist/6qAVoMGl7omcu0RhX1B3fm?si=XTVkEntjSyuMSDLM1zjNlwThe City Harmonic’s “Manifesto” on Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/track/5PsxiztPCYZUcEkXmYSx8Q?si=f921612d70464c32Elias’ IG @eliasdummer**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/7D-lyxdwDQs____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this conversation, Tim Whitaker of The New Evangelicals joins Dan for a dual-feed special episode to discuss the upcoming book by Richard B. Hays, a respected New Testament scholar (Duke), and his son Christopher (Fuller), titled 'The Widening of God's Mercy: A Thoroughly Biblical Account of LGBTQ Affirmation in the Church.' They explore the potential impact of the book and the various reactions it has received. They also discuss the importance of acknowledging the harm caused by previous non-affirming positions and the need for an apology. They consider the strategic implications of the book and its potential to shift the conversation in white Evangelical spaces. They highlight the importance of listening to the voices of queer Christian scholars and the potential for the book to provide validation and support for those navigating their faith and sexuality. Also, they explore the idea of holding contradictory views and the importance of integration and growth, including a little bit of therapy-adjacent ideas about Tim and his dad.https://www.thenewevangelicals.com/**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/bEdcKuNfHg8Richard Hays’ Book “The Widening of God’s Mercy”:https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300273427/the-widening-of-gods-mercy/____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan spoke with friend and frequent guest Sarey Martin Concepcion about the intersection of intellectual humility and our Christian faith journeys, attempting to tie this together with his recent set of “Still Christian” episodes. They discussed how Sarey was raised in a fundamentalist evangelical strain of Christianity that valued certainty and correct doctrinal beliefs above all else. This made it challenging to embrace intellectual humility -- acknowledging what one can and cannot be confident about.While appreciating the research around intellectual humility can create some real tensions within Christianity, it also provides a foundation for extending grace to ourselves and others amid disagreement and uncertainty. https://www.tidycocreative.com/Other Intellectual Humility Episodes:Elizabeth Hall: Doubt, Intellectual Humility & Uncertainty Tolerance (#146)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000553166878Joshua Hook: Intellectual Humility (#184)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000608179436Daryl van Tongeren: You Are Not Your Beliefs (#195)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000618349369Stephen Sandage: What Does a Healthy Spiritual Leader Even Look Like? (#209)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000627460605____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Richard Hays, a renowned New Testament scholar, and Andrew Huberman, a cutting-edge neuroscientist, dive into pivotal discussions surrounding modern theology and science. Hays shares insights from his upcoming book on gay-affirming theology, challenging traditional beliefs within Christianity. Meanwhile, Huberman faces scrutiny in a recent New York Magazine piece. The hosts also reflect on personal stories of growth and friendships while humorously navigating cultural dynamics, making for a lively and thought-provoking conversation.

Dan's guest today is Simon Nixon, a former pastor and licensed counselor in Australia who works predominantly with domestic violence offenders in group therapy settings, helping them understand how to change their behavior and become safe partners and fathers. They discuss the challenges of such work, including the emotional difficulty and the need for a non-judgmental approach to facilitate change.Simon and Dan explore the concept of toxic and non-toxic masculinities and the importance of helping men identify and process their emotions. Simon outlines the process of working with these men, which includes identifying the kind of man they want to be, challenging unhelpful beliefs, and providing tools and strategies for managing anger and other emotions. They also touch on the evolutionary aspects of masculine traits and how some of these traits, such as protection and provision, may have been adaptive in the past but can be problematic in modern society. Dan offers a framework for re-evaluating some classically masculine traits in a more adaptive way.Simon's Counsellor Page:https://www.theaca.net.au/counsellor/Simon-Nixon**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/Dou415Dnhow____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaking as much to himself as to listeners, Dan continues this series by recapping Part 1, then discussing two more common thinking errors, known in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as “cognitive distortions,” that he sees in news coverage around the possibility of a Donald Trump victory in 2024. Recognizing these distortions in the media as well as our own thoughts about the election and its results can 1) reduce our anxiety and 2) align our thoughts more fully with the reality that the future is uncertain but unlikely to be as catastrophic as we often assume. More episodes should come and will focus on additional cognitive distortions, as well as acceptance work.**Watch this episode on YouTube** https://youtu.be/Ixh-be0_l5A____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our very own Tony Jones (Generation Gap Culture Hour episodes, author, theologian, recovering youth ministry wunderkind) joins Dan for a very special conversation about the release of his brand new book, The God of Wild Places. Their conversation follows a three-act structure: Tony's early ministry days, then his escape into hunting while his marriage and life were crumbling, and finally the re-approaching and rethinking of his theology and faith in light of those experiences. Along the way, they also touch on mid-century mainline Protestantism, the spirituality and ritual of indigenous hunting practices, and the costs and benefits of organized religion versus a more "disorganized" spirituality. This is not one you'll want to miss, especially if you enjoy Tony on the GGCH episodes.Tony's Website:https://reverendhunter.com/RESOURCES MENTIONS:James Dobson’s “Preparing for Adolescence”:https://www.drjamesdobson.org/broadcasts/preparing-for-adolescence-part-1**Watch this episode on YouTube**https://youtu.be/wbAuF3YKj3A____________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices