You Have Permission

Writer Sarah Southern joins me to share her deconstruction journey from fundamentalism to freedom. Sarah shares how her initial process was paralyzed by the infinite stakes of questioning faith, until wonder—particularly through Colorado's mountains—offered an unexpected path forward. Drawing on Abraham Heschel's wisdom about wonder as the foundation of religious experience, Sarah found that direct encounters with natural beauty provided a way to remain spiritually engaged while processing religious trauma. Rather than requiring doctrinal certainty, this approach created space for authentic exploration through direct experience of the sacred. For Patrons, our conversation continues with Sarah's travels to Salzburg and Japan, exploring how different cultural and religious traditions can expand our spiritual horizons even further.Sarah's Instagram | sarahbsouthernSarah's Substack | @sarahsouthernSarah's Article | Embracing ViolenceHighlights:02:01 Navigating Deconstruction and Crises of Belief05:50 The Impact of Fear and Violence in Faith10:05 Cultural Evolution and Human Connection15:55 Traveling Through Faith and Diversity22:07 The Balance of Wonder and Fear in Faith25:58 Finding Beauty in New LandscapesDan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another comedian episode of YHP, this time featuring Tom Fell, whose brilliant social media videos skewer corporate speak and existential themes with painful accuracy. Our conversation centers on psychedelics and consciousness, where Tom demonstrates what I'd call "materialist wonder" - particularly in his story about encountering a whale shortly after taking mushrooms. Rather than viewing it through a supernatural or New Age lens, Tom finds deeper meaning in understanding the scientific factors that make this coincidence possible. This approach, which sees wonder in natural causes rather than divine intervention, reflects the same balance found in his comedy: a critical yet playful perspective that serves as a pressure release valve for processing life's profound and absurd aspects. And yes, we laugh a lot!Tom's Linktree | linktr.ee/tomfellHighlights:09:11 Truth in Comedy: The Power of Humor29:58 Existential Themes in Comedy42:16 Navigating Drug Culture and Personal Choices53:18 The Intersection of Science and Spirituality01:05:10 Spirituality Beyond Religion: Personal RevelationsDan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The You Have Permission team of Dan Koch, Josh Gilbert and Joy Vetterlein sit down to process the election a day later. Dan puts on his therapy hat and offers some general coping mechanisms and how to deal with the catastrophizing thoughts blue voters might have around a Trump presidency. We also discuss listener comments and questions, and talk through what we’re learning and taking away from the experience. Listen if you could use some friends to process with and find a bit of hope, but skip this one if you’re looking for detailed political analysis or if you just need to stay in your anger a little longer.Sharon McMahon's Podcast | Here's Where It Gets InterestingRobert Wright's Election Video | Nervous About the Election? Watch This.The NonZero Substack | NonZero NewsletterDan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Take a break from election coverage and enjoy this thoughtful conversation with Brandan Robertson, a pastor in Queens, NY, about "Christian agnosticism" and navigating faith with intellectual honesty. We explore how embracing uncertainty about religious claims can actually deepen rather than diminish faith, moving beyond the rigid certainty of our evangelical backgrounds toward a more nuanced approach. We share our experiences of finding value in Christian traditions while holding space for doubt, and discuss how this approach resonates with both religious and non-religious people alike. The conversation expands to cover selective Christianity, religious commitment, trends in progressive faith communities, and even Joel Osteen's effective use of simple religious messaging. It’s a refreshing perspective on how faith can remain relevant and authentic in an increasingly complex world!Brandon's Website | brandanrobertson.comHighlights:02:43 Christian Agnosticism: Embracing Mystery and Wonder25:51 The Limits of Human Knowledge and Religious Pragmatism33:08 The Tension Between Deconstruction and Faith54:11 Challenges in Building Lasting Change in Progressive Religious MovementsDan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I'm joined by frequent podcast collaborators Josh Gilbert and Kristen Tideman to discuss "The Iron Claw" (2023), a film that chronicles the tragic story of the Von Erich wrestling family during the territorial wrestling era of the 1980s. At its core, the film explores how patriarch Fritz Von Erich projects his unrealized wrestling ambitions onto his sons through conditional love and emotional suppression while his sons form intense bonds supporting each other through their shared pursuit of wrestling excellence. We share our personal reactions to the film's heavy themes and explore our own boundaries with difficult content. For our Patron-only segment, we dive deep into the film's haunting afterlife scene, leading to vulnerable conversations about faith, mortality, family tragedy, and questions of legacy. I even talk about crying! Like all impactful films, "The Iron Claw" opened up avenues of conversation we might not have reached otherwise, revealing how this portrait of a family trapped in cycles of ambition, loyalty, and tragedy resonates with our own experiences.Highlights:12:40 Personal Reflections on Film and Emotional Impact20:05 The Intersection of Film and Personal Experience30:12 The Movie Method: A Therapeutic Approach to FilmMovie | The Iron ClawEpisode with Jenny Hamelton | Using Movies in Therapy (#265)Jenny's Website | jennyhamiltoncounselling.wordpress.comThe Movies Could Be Good For You Article | https://theconversation.com/watching-movies-could-be-good-for-your-mental-health-214325Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Dan Koch and Joy Vetterlein for another "After Hours" episode of You Have Permission as they dive into Netflix's hit series "Nobody Wants This." While a rom-com might seem like an unexpected choice for YHP, this show about an agnostic podcaster (Kristen Bell) falling for a progressive rabbi (Adam Brody) offers surprisingly rich material for exploring faith, doubt, and relationships. Dan and Joy unpack several fascinating themes from the first episode: the Jewish approach to wrestling with religious uncertainty, refreshingly honest relationship dynamics that buck typical rom-com tropes, the complex dynamics of religious authority and spiritual interpretation, and thoughtful discussion of how Jewish audiences are receiving the show's cultural portrayal. While lighter than our usual fare, this episode demonstrates how pop culture can open doors to deeper conversations about faith, psychology, and human connection. Let us know if you'd like to see more episodes in this casual evening format and/or more discussion of current shows and movies!Highlights15:05 Cultural Reflections on Judaism and Christianity19:58 Faith, Doubt, and Spirituality in Relationships30:12 Attachment Theory and Relationship Patterns52:47 Cultural Stereotypes in Relationships01:02:14 Near-Death Experiences and Life ChangesJoy's Website | joyvetterlein.comThe Attachment-Based Romance Video Dan Mentions | Why We Pick Difficult PartnersDan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Musician Jayne Sugg joins the podcast to discuss her journey through faith deconstruction and its profound impact on her creative process. Raised in a charismatic, Pentecostal church where her family led worship, Jayne's faith and music were deeply intertwined from a young age. This deconstruction process resulted in a significant creative crisis as Jayne struggled to find authentic artistic expression outside the familiar framework of worship music. Her story illustrates the deep connection between belief systems and artistic expression, and how personal crises can catalyze artistic growth. Tune in to hear how Jayne ultimately rediscovered her musical voice by exploring new genres and perspectives.Jayne Sugg | SpotifyJayne's Website | jaynesugg.comChapters:05:21 Navigating Post-Evangelical Christian Artistry33:27 Deconstruction in Worship Music53:24 Nurturing Creativity in Religious Communities01:10:30 The Impact of Disillusionment on Musical Development01:31:05 Cultural Influences on Musical ExpressionDan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lindsay Stranigan, a friend of Dan Koch and a frequent guest, dives into her experiences with the damaging effects of evangelical purity culture. They share cringeworthy memories of bizarre sex ed lessons and how being labeled as 'purity examples' affected their youth. The conversation highlights the unequal impact on women, addressing the lasting mental health consequences and the limitations of their understanding of sexuality. Lindsay and Dan confront the regrets they carry, making for a candid and thoughtful exploration of a topic still relevant today.

This is a Patreon Preview | *The exclusive half starts around the 53 min mark*In this special episode, Dan brings together his "Big Five" friends—Tripp Fuller, Myron Penner, Sarah Concepcion, and Sarah Lane Ritchie—to playfully mock and critically examine the Enneagram. Dan introduces the "Danneagram," an AI-generated personality system, sparking a lively discussion that oscillates between humorous riffs on personality typing and serious critiques. The group debates the value of such systems, even if not scientifically valid, and covers other topics like birth order, religious anthropology, and even "Lord of the Rings" characters. Join in for a thought-provoking and entertaining dive into the allure and limitations of personality assessments.Previous Enneagram Episodes:Ep #101 | Is the Enneagram Real?Ep #161 | The Enneagram Doesn't Hold UpDan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Kirk Honda of Psychology in Seattle returns to discuss the intersection of psychology and popular media. We explore the world of reality TV through a psychological lens, where Dr. Honda makes a compelling case for using these shows as tools for psychoeducation and cultural insight. According to him, even heavily edited content can serve as a springboard for discussing broader psychological concepts. From relationship dynamics in "Love is Blind" to personality assessments discussed during the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial, we examine how popular culture can be leveraged to increase psychological literacy among the public. This conversation offers a fresh perspective on the potential of reality TV as a vehicle for understanding human behavior and mental health, demonstrating how clinicians and educators can engage thoughtfully with popular media to foster greater psychological awareness.Highlights02:56 The Role of Movies in Personal Development11:55 The Intersection of Therapy and Media Representation23:52 The Ethics of Reality TV and TherapyPrevious Episode with Kirk:Episode 88 | Secular Therapy's Religion Blind Spothttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-permission/id1448000113?i=1000491974985Kirk's Past Episodes:Kirk's Podcast | Psychology In Seattle PodcastKirk's YouTube Channel | Psychology in Seattle Psychology In Seattle Website | psychologyinseattle.comDan's new Substack | Religion on the Mind___________________________________________Get Tickets for the PREGAME EVENT before Theology Beer Camp!Get Tickets for Theology Beer Camp 2024Use Code ReturnofYHP for $50 off your ticket!___________________________________________Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKochFaith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankochEmail about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.comYHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.htmlJoin Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/Artwork by sprungle. co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices