Awesome Marriage Podcast

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Ron Deal to talk about what it really means to build a mindful marriage. Ron shares lessons from his new book, Mindful Marriage, and how restoration therapy helped him and his wife Nan find healing and deeper connection. Together, they explore how faith, self-awareness, and emotional regulation can transform your relationship from the inside out.   Episode Insights: Authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness. Emotional dysregulation is normal.  Our brains respond to threat, not fairness. Pain cycles drive repeated conflict. Growth and redemption matter more than blame. Quotes from Today's Episode: 'Happy wife, happy life' sounds catchy, but in reality, it's an empty promise. Lasting happiness in marriage comes from authenticity, not performance or pretending everything is okay. Every single one of us gets thrown off-balance emotionally. Some stay there longer, others move through it quickly, but emotional dysregulation is part of the human experience. There's nothing wrong about you because you get dysregulated. The brain can't tell the difference between a rattlesnake, a near-miss in traffic, or your spouse's criticism. Threat is threat. Our brains are wired for survival, not perfect communication. You don't have fifty different fights in marriage. You just have one ongoing pain cycle. Once you identify and understand your pain cycle, you can finally move beyond it together. Ignoring your pain doesn't make it go away—if anything, it makes your pain stronger, more insistent, and harder to escape. It's easy to point out the flaw in someone else, but it's vital to focus on your own growth. You may not forget your pain, but you can redeem what it does in your life. Choosing redemption over resentment is liberating. Couples Conversation Guide: Are there areas in our marriage where we tend to "perform" or pretend things are okay instead of being real with each other?    When conflict or hurt arises between you, how aware are you of what's really going on beneath the surface—your emotions, triggers, or past experiences? What's one practical step you can take this week to be more mindful in your marriage—whether that's pausing before reacting, praying together, or choosing to listen with empathy?   Mentioned in this episode: #1 Amazon Bestseller is available! The Mindful Marriage (designed for every marriage).   Ron Deal What's your reactive coping style? We all have one. Take our free assessment (15 minutes).  Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage. Buy 1 get 1 free on the Elevate Your Marriage Communication Course & L.O.V.E Your Way Through Conflict Course. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle  

700 episodes! What better way than to do this episode with Nancy who has been here with me through all of the seasons and cohosts and guests on the Awesome Marriage podcast. And there is no better topic for us than to talk about how powerful prayer is for your marriage and the daily rhythm of praying together. Nancy initiated praying together on our first night as a married couple and we've kept it going ever since. Not only does it serve to protect our marriage, but it serves to grow us each closer to the Lord and one another. Join us as we talk about the power of a praying couple and how to pursue spiritual growth together.   Episode Highlights: If you feel uncomfortable, start with silent or guided prayers- just start somewhere. Prayer becomes a rhythm that allows you to partner with God. Prayer becomes the glue that helps you withstand the seasons of marriage and life together. Hard times have been some of the biggest seasons of growth individually and in our marriage.   Quotes from Today's Episode: Praying together can feel intimidating at first, but it's not about perfection—it's about inviting God into your story, one honest word at a time. It's hard to pray when you're angry—and hard to stay angry when you start to pray. There is power in the prayer—and even greater power in the One we pray to. When couples choose to consistently pray and grow together, it changes everything—your marriage, your family, and generations to come will be transformed. Let God lead you, one small step at a time. Habits of faith begin with intentional choices. If you miss a day, don't quit. The habit matters more than perfection—keep pursuing God together. There is nothing like drawing close to your spouse in spiritual intimacy—it's a bond deeper than anything else. Take time to talk honestly about where you are spiritually as a couple, without judgment. Then choose just one thing to pursue together.   Couples Conversation Guide: What fears or awkward feelings do we have about praying together, and how could we take a first step to make it a natural part of our relationship? How has our prayer life (or the lack of it) shaped the emotional and spiritual climate of our marriage so far? In what ways can we set spiritual goals together that encourage growth without feeling like a checklist or competition? How can we support each other through seasons of spiritual dryness or difference in faith, and what role can Scripture or prayer rhythms play in that? Mentioned in this Episode: Dr. Kim is on Instagram Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage. Buy 1 get 1 free on the Elevate Your Marriage Communication Course & L.O.V.E Your Way Through Conflict Course. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips.  

Mismatched sex drives in marriage? You're not alone—and it's not a problem to fix, but an opportunity to grow together. Most couples (up to 90%!) will experience periods where their sexual desires don't line up perfectly. It's completely normal—and it's a chance to build deeper understanding, communication, and compassion in your relationship. Getting honest about differences means you can meet each other where you are, as a team. This conversation is full of encouragement for the couple (or the spouse) who is feeling the disconnect from the different drives. Join Dr. Kim and J. Parker as they talk about normalizing this topic and making your marriage (and sex life) awesome. Episode Highlights: Majority of couples face the struggle of mismatched sex drives. It's important that the lines of communication are open when talking about desire, frequency and expectation. Open, ongoing communication is key to building intimacy.  The way we think about intimacy is often shaped by cultural messages, church teaching, or our upbringing.   Quotes from Today's Episode: Mismatched sex drives aren't the exception—they're the norm. Instead of seeing it as a sign something's wrong, view it as an opportunity to communicate, show compassion, and navigate intimacy as a team. The old script that 'men want sex and women want romance' sells everyone short. You can crave both romance and intimacy, regardless of who in your marriage has the higher desire. A thriving sex life isn't automatic—it's something you cultivate over time, through learning, honesty, and growth together. Sometimes a gap in desire isn't about your relationship at all, but about real-life pressures. There are times when speaking up isn't nagging—it's partnership. Express what you need, but do it out of love and with respect, seeking to connect and understand, not just correct.   Questions for Reflection: When was the last time you and your spouse had a conversation about frequency?  Do you feel comfortable telling your spouse what you need in regards to physical intimacy?  What's one small step you could take this week to communicate more openly about your needs and create healthier intimacy together?   Mentioned in this Episode: Hot, Holy and Humerous J Parker is on Instagram! Achieving Awesome Sex in Marriage online course with Dr. Kim and J. Parker If you are the lower drive spouse, consider taking our Think Sex Challenge. Our brain is a powerful sex organ and sometimes we have to take the time to "think sex". Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle  

What do you do when intimacy and connection in your marriage start to fade? How can you rekindle the spark, or better yet, keep it burning strong? In this episode, we talk about practical and biblical ways to nurture intimacy in all its forms. When you intentionally protect and prioritize closeness with your spouse, you not only build a marriage you truly enjoy, but you also guard your relationship against the dangers of emotional affairs.   Episode Highlights: Identify the different types of intimacy shared within marriage. The wholeness of your marriage matters. All forms of intimacy must be invested in. Boundaries keep your marriage protected.    Quotes from this episode: Your sex life is a thermometer, not a thermostat—it reflects the health of your relationship, but it can't set it.   When couples neglect emotional and spiritual intimacy, their physical relationship becomes hollow—a beautiful house with no foundation. Sooner or later, the cracks will show.   Without emotional intimacy, sex loses its power to truly bond you together. Without spiritual intimacy, you miss God's vision for marriage—a reflection of Christ and the Church.   If you wouldn't say, do, or share it with your spouse present, don't do it. That's your boundary—protect it fiercely.   If you have nothing to hide, living transparently should be easy—openness is the glue of trust in marriage.   Couple's Conversation Guide: When you think about intimacy in your marriage, which type (physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational closeness) feels the strongest right now? Which could use more attention? How do you personally feel most connected to me—through words, actions, time together, or something else? What boundaries do we need to set (personally and as a couple) to guard our marriage against the threat of emotional affairs? What's one thing you'd love for us to do together that would bring more joy, fun, or connection into our marriage? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! This month's resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle  

What do you do when intimacy and connection in your marriage start to fade? How can you rekindle the spark, or better yet, keep it burning strong? In this episode, we talk about practical and biblical ways to nurture intimacy in all its forms. When you intentionally protect and prioritize closeness with your spouse, you not only build a marriage you truly enjoy, but you also guard your relationship against the dangers of emotional affairs.   Episode Highlights: Identify the different types of intimacy shared within marriage. The wholeness of your marriage matters. All forms of intimacy must be invested in. Boundaries keep your marriage protected.    Quotes from this episode: Your sex life is a thermometer, not a thermostat—it reflects the health of your relationship, but it can't set it.   When couples neglect emotional and spiritual intimacy, their physical relationship becomes hollow—a beautiful house with no foundation. Sooner or later, the cracks will show.   Without emotional intimacy, sex loses its power to truly bond you together. Without spiritual intimacy, you miss God's vision for marriage—a reflection of Christ and the Church.   If you wouldn't say, do, or share it with your spouse present, don't do it. That's your boundary—protect it fiercely.   If you have nothing to hide, living transparently should be easy—openness is the glue of trust in marriage.   Couple's Conversation Guide: When you think about intimacy in your marriage, which type (physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational closeness) feels the strongest right now? Which could use more attention? How do you personally feel most connected to me—through words, actions, time together, or something else? What boundaries do we need to set (personally and as a couple) to guard our marriage against the threat of emotional affairs? What's one thing you'd love for us to do together that would bring more joy, fun, or connection into our marriage? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! This month's resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle  

I'm so thankful for this conversation with Stephanie Broersma about her brand-new resource: Reclaimed: A Course to Guide You Through Betrayal and Infidelity Trauma. This powerful resource is designed for those walking through the trauma of betrayal, offering hope, healing, and a path forward. In our conversation, Stephanie shares how the course helps you stay connected to the Lord in the midst of grief, while also providing practical next steps and long-term rhythms to move toward restoration. She reminds us that your spouse's decisions do not define your worth and that there is a real enemy fighting against both your marriage and your identity in Christ. If you've been hurting, this conversation will point you back to truth, hope, and healing.   Episode Highlights: What fires together, wires together. You have options when triggers begin to surface. Triggers don't equate to a lack of forgiveness. There's no need to rush. Give yourself time to get your emotions regulated before making a major decision. Allow the Lord the space to work in the midst of the grief and in the midst of the stillness and heaviness.   Quotes from Today's Episode: Give yourself time to grieve and heal the right way. -Dr. Kim God designed emotions to inform us about our world. They are not bad. They give us language to express what we are feeling.- Stephanie Triggers point you to an experienced trauma in your life and then you have an option. You have a choice. What am I going to do with this trigger?-Stephanie As you heal, the triggers become less damaging. -Dr. Kim Sexual addiction, at its deepest level, is a spiritual issue. A disorder of worship, not to God but to self.- Stephanie Healing does not happen in isolation. You are not meant to be alone in this journey.-Stephanie Forgiveness is a posture of surrender that says, 'I can't fix him. I don't want to fix him.'- Stephanie Your spouse does not define you or your future. As long as God leaves, as long as you get that breath, God's got a plan for you.- Dr. Kim If you're going to get healthy, there has to be boundaries in place. And they have to be consistent.- Dr. Kim Hope chooses faith even in the mess. Questions for Reflection: In what ways have you been tempted to let someone else's choices define your worth, and how can you replace those lies with God's truth about your identity? What is one practical rhythm you can begin this week to stay connected to the Lord as you process pain or grief? How can you recognize the enemy's attempts to attack your marriage or identity, and what steps can you take to guard against them? Mentioned in this Episode: Check out Reclaimed Ministry Stephanie is on Instagram! Reclaimed: A Course to Guide You Betrayal and Infidelity Trauma This month's resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle  

This is such an incredible conversation to wrap up our Fridays in the Fall, Wider Lens series. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!   Episode Highlights: Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.  If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth. Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.  Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.  Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly. Strong core beliefs help us combat the lies of society and satan. Quotes from Today's Episode: I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next? Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.   Mentioned in this Episode: Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be  

In this episode, Dr. Kim and John West discuss "Stockholm Syndrome Christianity" and how cultural captivity can pull Christians away from biblical truth. They explore the impact of these influences on marriage, from weakened faithfulness to the generational effects of broken promises on children. The conversation highlights the need for intentionality in guarding our hearts, shaping our children's worldview, and staying rooted in truth. Listeners will be encouraged to build marriages that mutually support, advocate, and thrive in a world that often pulls in the opposite direction.   Episode Highlights: As believers, what we are consuming directly affects how boldly we live out our faith. Too many believers aren't prioritizing biblical truth and their relationships reflect their culture more than their faith. The church has not been immune to cultural influences.  Culture tells us that feelings trump biblical truth.   Quotes from Today's Episode: If you live your life oriented towards God's truth, it's designed for our flourishing.- John West Every spouse needs to be their partner's biggest advocate.- John West The impact on kids from broken marriages is traumatic. - John West If you have a certain feeling, you don't have to act it out. - John West If you're listening to a never-ending stream of lies, you're going to become very reticent about speaking up or living based on your Christian beliefs.- John West What I saw in the christian community is a lot of christians being culturally captive. - John West If you're a christian, especially in industries, you spend a lot of your life around cultural captors.  Many christians have adopted this secular view that sex isn't to be reserved for marriage.- John West If you have a diet in your entertainment consumption for you and your kids, that everyone's doing it- it's normalized, it's going to affect how you live. -John West It's really important to be in the world, not of the world. -Dr. Kim You need to be wise enough and intentional enough to know that putting that stuff inside of you is going to have an impact- and impact your kids.- John West The number 1 thing is you need to ask yourself- who is really raising your kids? Couples' Conversation Guide: As you reflect on your marriage relationship, where do you see culture influencing you the most? Are there biblical truths you've found harder to live out in today's world? Why? Do you believe there are any "outdated" parts of the Bible? Who or what has the largest influence on your marriage? Who or what has the largest influence on your children? Mentioned in this Episode: Learn more about the Discovery Institute and John West. Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram! Money issues don't have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸 This month's resource gives you the opportunity to show your spouse the appreciation they long for: 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Notes Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts.  

Kent Evans, Executive Director of Manhood Journey and author, shares insights from his book, Don't Bench Yourself. He discusses how men often self-withdraw from relationships due to fear, shame, and criticism. Kent emphasizes the importance of taking risks and confronting issues head-on to thrive in marriage and parenting. He champions aiming for faithfulness over perfection and highlights the necessity of welcoming feedback for personal growth. The conversation inspires listeners to re-engage and trust in God's perfect timing.

Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they're the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That's the focus of our conversation today. I'm praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.   Episode Highlights: Love like Christ without enabling. Communicate with curiosity, not accusation. Persevere in prayer and faithful action. Seek God's glory above all else   Quotes from Today's Episode: Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship. Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"  Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation. Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle. But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God. Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine. Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle. Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not. The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.  Couples' Conversation Guide: How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10? Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone? Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?  Are there areas of your marriage that you've settled for mediocrity or disconnect?    Mentioned in this Episode: Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram! Money issues don't have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸  Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You'll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts