When Gratitude is Hard Ep. 705

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Nov 25, 2025

Gratitude can be particularly challenging during tough times, but it's essential for a strong marriage. The discussion highlights how honest gratitude arises from faith, not just emotions. Misconceptions about gratitude being toxic positivity are clarified, emphasizing that even small acts of gratitude can make a difference. Couples are encouraged to view struggles as a united front and practice daily gratitude habits. Additionally, integrating prayer and lamenting can reshape perspectives, encouraging hope and deeper connection.

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INSIGHT

Gratitude Requires Focus Shift

Gratitude forces a shift from focusing on problems to noticing what remains right amid pain.
Kim Kimberling explains this feels like denial because our brains prioritize threats as a survival mechanism.

INSIGHT

Resentment Crowds Out Gratitude

Resentment grows when you keep a mental ledger of failures and let unmet expectations accumulate.
That deficit thinking chokes out gratitude and makes you forget the good your spouse does.

ADVICE

Reframe To Rewire Appreciation

Do a one-week reframing challenge: name three things daily you appreciate about your spouse and tell them.
Use photos and early memories to remember why you fell in love and avoid comparing your spouse to others.

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Gratitude can feel effortless when life and marriage are smooth—but what about when it's hard? In this episode, we explore how to practice honest gratitude even in seasons of struggle, disappointment, or unmet expectations. From grief and loss to conflict and emotional distance in marriage, we discuss ways couples can rebuild appreciation for each other, lean on God in difficult times, and use gratitude as a tool for hope, healing, and unity. Be encouraged to find thankfulness rooted in faith, not just feelings, even when your heart is hurting.

Main Takeaways:

Gratitude is challenging in seasons of struggle.

Honest gratitude is rooted in faith, not feelings.

Gratitude strengthens marriage and protects against division.

Spiritual rhythms help cultivate thankfulness.

Quotes from this Episode:

Choosing gratitude when you don't feel it isn't fake—it's faith in action. Sometimes, obedience comes before emotion.

When disappointment builds, we keep a mental ledger of failures and let resentment choke out gratitude.

Shifting your focus from what's wrong to what remains right isn't denial; it's a courageous act of faith, especially when you're hurting.

Gratitude flourishes when you intentionally move from deficit thinking to abundance thinking.

Don't compare your spouse to others—celebrate who they are and who they have become.

Feelings follow actions. Don't wait to feel grateful—do the grateful thing, and let your heart catch up.

Lament is honest, gratitude is hopeful. We need both, because lament without gratitude turns to bitterness, and gratitude without lament turns to denial.

Radical gratitude trusts in God's character, not in our circumstances.

Couples Conversation Guide:

"When life or our marriage feels hard, what makes it difficult for you to feel thankful? How can we support each other in those times?"

"How can we remind each other to choose gratitude rooted in faith, even when our emotions don't match our circumstances?"

"Are there ways we've lost sight of what we appreciate about each other? What's one thing we can start noticing and thanking each other for this week?"

"What daily or weekly habits—like prayer, Scripture, or reflection—could help us keep gratitude alive, even when things are tough?"

Mentioned in this Episode:

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
Need to refocus and cultivate gratitude? Use these 11 Gratitude Prompts
We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

Mentioned in this Episode:

Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
Need to refocus and cultivate gratitude? Use these 11 Gratitude Prompts
We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need a plan to cultivate gratitude in your marriage? Invite your spouse to read 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Your Marriage
If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.
If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.