Awesome Marriage Podcast

Today we’re diving into Kent’s brand-new book, Don’t Bench Yourself. In it, Kent challenges readers to take an honest look at their lives, at the opportunities they might be missing, the risks they’re avoiding, and the goals left sitting on the table. His message is clear: it’s time to get off the bench and stay in the game. Whether it’s in your career, your marriage, or your parenting journey, you can’t afford to sit on the sidelines. This book will inspire you to move past fear, let go of shame, and trust God’s perfect timing as you keep pressing forward.   Episode Highlights: What is slow quitting? Fear paralyzes us from stepping into deeper connections.  Shame kicks in when we try and fail and then we believe the lie that it’ll never get better than this. Criticism can inhibit someone’s desire to continue pressing forward. Motivation can decrease when we don’t see quick results.   Quotes from Today’s Episode: For some of us, what we need to see with our eyes of faith, is a life lived and ended in faith. - Kent Evans You pull yourself out of the game because you think you no longer qualify to play. - Kent Evans We get impatient with God so we quit. We draw ourselves out of the game. -Kent Evans Fear is causing you to be stuck. - Dr. Kim One of the fastest ways out of a problem is clearly labeling the problem. - Kent Evans It’s so much easier to point the finger, but yet it doesn’t resolve anything. -Dr. Kim We have a tendency as guys, when things aren't going well, we have a tendency to withdraw. -Dr. Kim A big temptation for me is to spend time and energy where there is a really clear report card, a really clear measurable level of success. - Kent Evans We so desperately want to measure growth and success. However, some of the best things in life can’t be measured. - Kent Evans We have a tendency to go where we are being affirmed and people think we’re great. - Dr. Kim A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your husband or wife to be better? In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your children to be better? Name one part of your life where failure kept you from trying again.  Now that you’ve named it- go try again! Mentioned in this Episode: Find Manhood Journey on Instagram Check out his ministry: Manhood Journey Listen to his podcast Buy Don’t Bench Yourself Dr. Kim is on Substack! Sign up HERE.  

Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they’re the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That’s the focus of our conversation today. I’m praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.   Episode Highlights: Love like Christ without enabling. Communicate with curiosity, not accusation. Persevere in prayer and faithful action. Seek God’s glory above all else   Quotes from Today’s Episode: Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship. Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"  Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation. Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle. But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God. Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine. Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle. Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not. The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.  Couples’ Conversation Guide: How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10? Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone? Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?  Are there areas of your marriage that you’ve settled for mediocrity or disconnect?    Mentioned in this Episode: Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram! Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸  Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts  

It's week two of Wider Lens. This week, Jonathon shares his story of recognizing his addiction, confronting the root causes beneath it, and finding freedom through Christ. From misordered priorities to the hidden struggles many Christians face, this conversation explores recovery, sanctification, and the hope that healing is possible. We are praying that this episode encourages you to reflect, reprioritize and hold tightly to the hope of Jesus!   Episode Highlights: Understanding addiction as a spectrum allows for earlier intervention and support. Acknowledging one's addiction is the first step towards healing and transformation. True recovery requires deep honesty and accountability beyond surface-level admissions. Embracing those with messy sanctification stories fosters healing and growth.  Identifying and correcting disordered priorities is crucial for recovery. Quotes from Today’s Episode: Part of what kept me in a disordered relationship with alcohol is what the devil uses “I don’t look or act like what I think an alcoholic looks like.” - J. Seidl Radical vulnerability, when you start practicing it, it's contagious and the devil hates it. -J. Seidl Anything that is misordered is disordered.-J. Seidl The mommy wine juice culture, mommy needs this to be mommy, right? It's become accepted.-J. Seidl I finally was able to stop drinking when I stopped trying to stop drinking. When I shot for Jesus, I got sobriety thrown in.-J. Seidl If you don’t get to the root of those, it’s just going to be something else. -J. Seidl Jesus is always going to meet us there. He's not going to let us down.- Dr. Kim I was ultimately addicted to escapism. -J. Seidl The muscle memory was forged and formed at a very young age. -J. Seidl A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection What habits or priorities in my life might be “good things” that I’ve elevated above God, and how are they shaping my heart? Where might I be numbing pain or avoiding deeper heart work instead of bringing it honestly before the Lord? What step of accountability, surrender, or fellowship could I take this week to move closer to freedom and wholeness in Christ? Mentioned in this Episode: Find Jonathon on Instagram Buy Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Check out his other books. Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!  

Every marriage goes through seasons where spouses see the health of their relationship differently. Our unique physical needs, emotional capacities, and family backgrounds shape the expectations we bring into marriage and the ways we handle conflict. If you’re in a season where you feel unheard or disconnected, this episode offers practical ways to pursue your spouse, tools for having the hard conversations, and encouragement to take ownership of your part in the struggle. Most importantly, it will remind you that God cares deeply about you and your marriage, and you can trust Him to guide and protect it.   Episode Highlights: Each spouse has different emotional needs and brings different emotional baggage into a marriage.  It’s important to approach the content spouse with grace. Men and women have different relational needs.  Just because you don’t talk about, or acknowledge issues, doesn’t mean they will just go away. Even if you feel lonely and isolated and unheard in your marriage, you can trust the Lord with your heart.    Quotes from Today’s Episode: Some people have a higher tolerance for dysfunction or distance in relationships. Couples may be sharing responsibilities without sharing their hearts. Sometimes the content spouse is suppressing their emotions.  Acknowledging your part opens up the door for real conversation. It’s ok to feel angry or frustrated, but don’t let that cause you to sin. You're responsible for learning to manage your emotions. A healthy marriage requires two people who are both willing to grow. Timing and approach are everything. Scripture should be a guide not a weapon.    Couples’ Conversation Guide: How do you rate the health of your marriage right now? What do you think your spouse would rate your marriage? (If you don’t know, ask them!) How safe do you feel to be vulnerable in your marriage?  What do you think your spouse would rate how safe they feel in your marriage? (If you don’t know, ask them!) How can you show your spouse that their feelings matter to you, even when you don’t understand them? Can you identify an unhealthy pattern or rhythm in your marriage? What one positive step can you take toward changing that pattern or rhythm together? This week’s challenge: Write your spouse a letter and share something you’ve had a hard time communicating in the past. Mentioned in this Episode: Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram! A unified family mission can help the work/ family balance. Check out our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.  Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If work seems to take priority over your marriage, you’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Boundaries in Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

The next four Fridays I’m getting the opportunity to go a little broader than the topic of marriage and interview some incredible men who are authors, leaders, and strong men of faith. To kick it off, we are interviewing Mr. Joshua Ryan Butler to discuss his new book. God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You.  In this episode, we explore what it really means to receive from Jesus instead of striving on our own. From the healing at the pool in John 5 to the picture of Barabbas’ pardon, we talk about how the gospel frees us from self-sufficiency, restores us in our failures, and feeds us when we feel empty. Together we wrestle with why we resist His help, how to cultivate spiritual hunger in a distracted world, and what it looks like to let Jesus shepherd us through shame, wounds, and wilderness seasons. It’s my prayer that this episode encourages you to believe God is on your side.   Episode Highlights: The Lord’s love is a freely given love. Earthly relationships may feel transactional, but God offers freedom from the burden of that. Our God is accessible and He wants to redeem the broken parts of our lives.    Quotes from Today’s Episode: "God is on your side, particularly when it most feels like life is against you." - Josh Ryan Butler "Before I called you to use you, I called you to love you." - Josh Ryan Butler "In the darkest moments, I found God ministering to me through His word and Spirit." - Josh Ryan Butler "Jesus calls himself the bread of life, and the only requirement to come is that you're hungry and thirsty." - Josh Ryan Butler "Our deepest hunger is meant to drive us towards God first and foremost." - Josh Ryan Butler "God's no to our sin is embedded within His bigger yes to who we are created to be." - Josh Ryan Butler We live in a culture where everybody is rewarded for what they do, and it's hard to believe that God just loves us." - Dr. Kim "It's almost like it's too good to be true, but it is true." - Dr. Kim Go Deeper: Are there parts of your life or your heart you feel like you need to keep hidden from the Lord? When’s the last time you felt lonely or alone? Are there places in your life you’re denying restoration because you’re stuck in the cycle of shame?   Mentioned in this Episode: Find Joshua Ryan Butler on Instagram. Buy his book: God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!

Are you truly satisfied, or always chasing more? This week we sit down with author Bobby Jamieson to talk about his book Everything Is Never Enough and the wisdom of Ecclesiastes. We’ll unpack why your spouse can’t be your joy, your job can’t be your purpose, and your family can’t give ultimate meaning. Real joy comes only from God; the giver, sustainer, and comforter. Anything else leaves us empty. Our hope is this conversation points you back to the only source who satisfies.   Episode Highlights: We are searching the world for a satisfaction that only comes from Him. It’s a crushing weight to expect our spouse to meet needs that only the Lord can meet. Desiring happiness and trying to create it will never work.  A life of ease doesn’t equal a life of joy.  Marriage is a gift to be nurtured. It’s daily decisions to care for, to provide for, to invest in your marriage.    Quotes from Today’s Episode: Happiness is a byproduct. If you just try to chase happiness directly, you're not really gonna get it. The world leaves us wanting. That eternity in our hearts is ultimately a longing for God. Only He can satisfy. Only He can fill our hearts. We are often tempted to seek that total good from our spouse. If you bring that expectation to your husband or wife, you will crush them. A lot of the joy of marriage arises as your laboring, as your communicating, as your toiling together.  If you view all of life as a gift of God then you can give up that need for control. Marriage a whole lot of daily little kindnesses.  Couples’ Conversation Guide: When’s the last time you thanked God for your spouse?  Where do you find it difficult to enjoy your “lot”? When you consider your spouse, do you consider the fact they are a “gift” from the Lord?  What’s one way you can serve your spouse today?   Mentioned in this Episode: You need a copy of Everything is Never Enough: Ecclesiastes' Surprising Path to Resilient Happiness Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have you believed the lied that marriage should be your source of happiness? 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truths is the reading plan for you. If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.  

Is your spouse married to their job, or are you? In today’s episode, we’re talking about what happens when work takes priority over marriage and how couples can recognize the signs before it causes lasting damage. Let’s talk about why this is such a common struggle, what Scripture says about balancing work and marriage, and how to reconnect when work has created distance. If you’re feeling like your relationship is playing second to a career, this one’s for you. Let’s dive in.   Episode Highlights: God gave us ambition and talents for a reason. Work balance in marriage is a common struggle. We tried to look at struggles as growth opportunities instead of failures Society adds to the pressure we feel to pursue success first. If conversations become logistical or date nights become extinct you may be prioritizing work over your marriage. There’s a biblical order, that when we get that order right, everything else finds its proper place. Prayer reminds us who our work is truly for. Quotes from Today’s Episode: The issue is when our ambition becomes our identity. When we believe our value comes from our next promotion. We are sacrificing our family for our ego. Our culture has us believe rest is laziness. Providing isn’t just about money. Your spouse needs your presence, your attention, and your emotional availability. Scripture makes it clear that work is good. We are created in the image of a working God. Bu work has its place in the greater order, and that place isn’t first.. Rest and relationship are sacred. Boundaries aren’t restrictions. They are protections. Create rituals that prioritize connections. Our ultimate provision isn’t in our performance, it’s in God’s faithfulness. See what happens when you’re physically forced to be present with one another.   Couples’ Conversation Guide: What one daily ritual can you begin this week to show your spouse and your marriage the energy it deserves. (coffee in the morning, lunch time phone call, prayer in the evening, etc.) When you hear the word “boundaries” do you automatically feel restricted? How can we implement some boundaries that feel like protection instead?  Does our calendar reflect our heart for keeping our marriage first? If not, where can you begin to say “no” so that you can say “yes” to your marriage? What are some physical distractions we can remove during our time together?    Mentioned in this Episode: Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram! A unified family mission can help the work/ family balance. Check out our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.  Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If work seems to take priority over your marriage, you’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Boundaries in Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

Joining me today are Dave and Ann Wilson who have written a brand new book about what it looks like to speak life into our marriages; not just with the words we say, but also in the thoughts we choose to dwell on. We’ll talk about why trying to be your spouse’s Holy Spirit never works, why kindness is actually one of the most rebellious things we can do in today’s world, and how reframing our inner dialogue can change the way we manage conflict. Whether you’ve been shouting to be heard, or quietly holding back the pain of unspoken expectations, today’s conversation will offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and fresh hope for building a marriage that reflects Christ’s love. We pray this episode encourages you! Episode Highlights:   How you approach the conversation matters.    Hope and joy can only be in the Lord.   Your words have the power to build up or tear down your spouse.   Gratitude for your spouse can change your perspective of your spouse.   Quotes from Today’s Episode: Men go where they're affirmed. They go there. - Dave Wilson I realize like when I'm in the Word, I look at things different. I look at the world different. I look at Dave different. And it started, God's Word started to change me. - Ann Wilson But there's something that's really holy about seeing greatness in a person and being able to communicate it in some way. - Ann Wilson I had put all my hopes and dreams in Dave. I'd taken them off of Jesus and I was like, you could make me happy. And it's easy to get into that rut of like, if you would just do X, Y, Z, I could be more content. - Ann Wilson God’s given us to each other to sharpen one another- Dave Wilson Speak life to your husband. Bring him back to be the man God created him to be.  We can help shape how our husbands and how our kids feel about themselves, but we have to first connect with Jesus. - Ann Wilson What good does it do to only think of the negative? You can’t say everything you feel! Couples’ Conversation Guide: How do we typically approach hard conversations with each other—and what could we do to make those moments feel safer and more affirming? Have we unintentionally placed our hope or happiness in each other instead of in God? What would it look like to shift that back to Jesus as our source of joy? What is one thing I genuinely admire or am grateful for in you that I may not say often enough? How can we be more intentional about calling out the good in each other?   Mentioned in this Episode: Find Dave and Ann Wilson on IG. How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to do is Yell at Him on Amazon Dave and Ann Wilson’s podcast: FamilyLife Today Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize Set the tone for your home and your family culture with our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.  Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward growing the gratitude in your marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.  

Welcome back to the podcast, Nancy is joining me again today. These have become some of my favorite episodes, getting to do this with her!  Today we’re talking about something every marriage needs, and that's forgiveness and grace. We know that even in the best marriages, we hurt each other, sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. The question isn’t if we’ll need to forgive, but how we can forgive well, and extend grace like God extends grace to us. Our prayer is that this is relatable and encouraging, but also that it inspires you to evaluate the opportunities you have every day to extend grace and forgiveness to your spouse.   Episode Highlights: It’s important to acknowledge where you are storing up resentment. Forgiveness is key in the big things, but even more important in the little nuances of life.  Marriage isn’t a game to keep score. When you know what a great sacrifice our Savior made, you’re able to come before Him and allow His forgiveness to pour through you onto our spouse. Both spouses must own their part of the conflict.    Quotes from Today’s Episode: It’s easy to get in the habit of score keeping. We have opportunities every day to forgive. If it's a big deal I need to address it, if it’s not then I need to let it go. Your marriage is so much happier if you don’t let something derail you. This is our marriage, we have to figure out what works for us. When you forgive, it doesn’t make the sin okay.  The Holy Spirit has the job of conviction, it’s not my job.  Couples’ Conversation Guide: Where in our marriage might we be unintentionally "keeping score”? In what areas do you find it difficult to extend grace? How can we shift our mindset? How can we better reflect God’s forgiveness towards us in the way we respond to each other’s mistakes   Mentioned in this Episode: Find Dr. Kim on Instagram Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize Parenting in today’s society can feel overwhelming, especially when you desire to intentionally shepherd your children toward Christ in a world that preaches quite the opposite. Create a Christ-centered culture at home with our Raising Faithful Kids Journal. Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward having a forgiving and graceful marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Learning to Apologize Well in Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.  

Today on the Awesome Marriage podcast, Dr. Kim is joined by Gabe and Rebekah Lyons to discuss their latest book The Fight for Us. Through 28 years of marriage, they realized as time went on that each of them brought their own differing perspectives, expectations, and emotional maturity to the marriage. The one common thread to connecting through all the differences is and will always be clear and effective communication. It will take a fight and it will take intentionality, but your marriage will thrive and it will absolutely be worth it. We are praying this episode encourages you to keep fighting for your marriage.   Episode Highlights: Husbands and wives are going to bring different levels of emotional maturity into the marriage. Don’t make an agreement with the idea of “it is what it is.”  It will take daily, intentional effort to give your marriage the nurturing it needs. Effective communication is at the cornerstone of a strong marriage. Differing expectations aren’t bad, they’re different.  Quotes from Today’s Episode: I want to normalize the fact that, yeah, there's conflict in marriage, but the bigger part is the repair and staying together and fighting for each other.   A wife or a husband is a mirror and you're going to see parts of yourself that are not healed, that are not whole.   We're all longing to be seen and known and loved fully in the absence of shame. And women are going to just keep hunting that down until they find it.    You're not healing unless you're talking.   It’s not that it’s right or wrong- it’s different.   Sin separates, it's the whole goal of sin is to separate and break relationship.    We need to be all in.    Couples’ Conversation Guide: Have you resolved to believe the lie that it is what it is? Are you giving your spouse space to share their emotions, free from shame and judgement?  On a scale of 1-10 how intentional are you being right now in fighting for your marriage? What is one practical thing from today’s episode that you can begin implementing in your marriage to aid in the fight for an awesome marriage?   Mentioned in this Episode: Find Rebekah on IG Find Gabe on IG Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward handling conflict in a biblical way, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Ways to Fight Fair in Marriage If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.