Secondhand Therapy

Dive into the nuanced world of fawning, where extreme people-pleasing stems from hidden trauma. The hosts explore how emotional immaturity in parents can breed codependency and a desperate need for safety. They discuss the challenge of identifying emotional safety and the slow journey of healing, punctuated by Lou's sharing of his own past trauma and its impact on relationships. Learn how naming fawning brings awareness, but change is a gradual process filled with self-discovery.

Gina Martin joins to talk misogyny, feminism, and emotional healing—how patriarchy, trauma, and compassion shape identity, relationships, and recovery. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______________ Louie and Michael talk with author and activist Gina Martin about misogyny, feminism, gender roles, and emotional safety. Gina breaks down how patriarchy, trauma, and apathy shape men’s and women’s behavior, and what true compassion, forgiveness, and accountability look like in relationships. They explore how to raise boys, gendered social conditioning, and why understanding systems—not just individuals—matters for change. This episode dives deep into feminism, empathy, recovery, therapy, and identity, offering an unfiltered look at how culture shapes our emotional lives. Gina Martin she/her is a British gender equality activist, writer and facilitator known for her work fighting gender stereotypes, misogyny, sexual violence and the manosphere. Gina was responsible for making upskirting illegal in England and Wales (with 3 countries following suit), and changing discriminatory Instagram policy. She is also a writer, has published three books and has a best-selling Substack. Gina now works in schools across Australia running workshops for high schoolers on gender stereotypes. Gina's IG: https://www.instagram.com/ginamartin/?hl=en Gina's Substack: https://ginamartin.substack.com/ Gina's Latest Book: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/452339/no-offence-but-by-martin-gina/9781529177572 BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Lou and Michael unpack wabi sabi, the beauty of imperfection—talking therapy, accountability, control, and what it means to be seen before you’re “fixed.” BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______________ This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael dive into the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi—the art of imperfection—and unpack what it means to be seen while you’re still in pieces. They talk accountability versus blame, how guilt and control intertwine, and why savoring small moments might be the real therapy. With stories from real life and a mix of humor, ego, and introspection, this episode explores the messy middle of growth, relationships, and being human. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Michael and Lou unpack how childhood trauma fuels anxiety, codependency, and fear of abandonment. A raw mix of therapy insights, humor, and hard truths on boundaries, recovery, and self-worth. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ___________________________ In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Michael and Lou dive deep into the messy intersections of childhood trauma, codependency, and the fear of abandonment. What starts as a simple conversation about space in friendship unravels into a raw exploration of why small conflicts can feel catastrophic, how anxiety distorts reality, and why it’s so hard to separate present struggles from old patterns. They talk candidly about boundaries, people-pleasing, and how growing up under constant fear leaves a permanent mark on self-worth. With sharp humor and unfiltered honesty, they reflect on therapy sessions, personal breakthroughs, and the exhausting cycle of trying to protect every relationship at the cost of their own peace. This is an episode for anyone who has wrestled with low self-esteem, overthinking, or the nagging belief that every disagreement might mean the end. Through laughter, vulnerability, and plenty of hard truths, Michael and Lou remind us that recovery is less about erasing the past and more about learning to live with it without letting it define us. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Codependency, boundaries, consent, and low self-esteem. Louie and Michael explore addiction, abandonment, and what it means to feel worthy of repair in relationships. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Louie and Michael unpack codependency, boundaries, and emotional safety. Louie reflects on a moment with his partner that highlighted the importance of consent, nervous system responses, and accountability in relationships. Michael shares insights from Codependents Anonymous meetings, exploring how low self-esteem, people-pleasing, and fear of abandonment shape codependent patterns. Together they discuss family dynamics, addiction, conflict avoidance, and the struggle to feel worthy of repair after ruptures. This conversation dives deep into how childhood experiences with addiction and dysfunction inform adult relationships, self-worth, and emotional expression. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   Brad Garrett joins Secondhand Therapy for a candid conversation on mental health, addiction, recovery, and relationships. Together we examine how codependency and family dynamics shape adulthood, and why masculinity often blocks men from showing vulnerability. Garrett reflects on the recovery process, the challenges of identity, and how performance and humor can function as coping strategies. The episode explores men’s mental health, the role of vulnerability in healing, and the importance of reframing connection and personal growth beyond old family patterns. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Michael faces breakup blues while Louie shares dating advice from therapy. They dive into grief, guilt, family dynamics, and how relational thinking shapes love and connection.   BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.   If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   Michael is in the middle of the breakup blues, and Louie brings fresh dating advice straight from his therapist. This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael opens up about how grief impacts the brain in ways similar to addiction, while Louie reflects on the guilt he feels enjoying his partner’s family more than his own. They explore why talking politics with family rarely works, and what therapy teaches about boundaries, guilt, and connection. Michael also unpacks the difference between relational and non-relational thinking, and how those patterns affect the way we approach love, conflict, and family. It’s a vulnerable, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about breakups, grief, dating, family dynamics, and learning how to navigate relationships without losing yourself.   Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com   Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod   Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105   Keywords: breakup podcast, dating advice, grief and the brain, therapy podcast, mental health podcast, family dynamics, guilt in relationships, politics and family, relational thinking, addiction and grief, unlicensed therapy, men’s mental health, emotional boundaries, personal growth podcast BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Abortion advocate Sophie Nir joins us to unpack stigma, misinformation, and advocacy — from “abortion positivity” to global rights, men’s roles, and why abortion must be seen as a social good. Take Our Survey --> http://bit.ly/secondhandtherapy-survey BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Abortion is one of the most stigmatized topics in society — and this conversation takes it head-on. In this episode, we sit down with abortion advocate Sophie Nir to explore the realities of abortion rights, stigma, and advocacy. Together, we unpack: How stigma and misinformation shape the abortion debate Why shifting to “abortion positivity” changes the conversation The role of partners and men in supporting reproductive rights The global landscape of abortion vs. the unique challenges in the U.S. How language, culture, and politics influence the way abortion is understood Why abortion should be recognized as a social good, not a source of shame We also share personal perspectives on identity, political beliefs, and the intersections of global conflicts — including Israel–Palestine — with conversations around justice, autonomy, and control of women’s bodies. It’s a raw, informative, and deeply personal discussion about reproductive rights, stigma, advocacy, and the urgent need for a cultural shift in how we talk about abortion. https://www.abortionpositivity.com/ http://instagram.com/abortionpositivity http://tiktok.com/@abortionpositivity Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 topics: abortion rights podcast, reproductive rights, abortion stigma, abortion positivity, women’s autonomy, abortion advocacy, misinformation on abortion, men and abortion debate, global abortion access, U.S. abortion laws, reproductive justice, language and advocacy, abortion as a social good, secondhand therapy podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Michael admits failure embarrasses him. Louie confesses to a codependent moment. Together they explore imperfection, relationships, and what growth really looks like. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ In this episode, he shares how failure feels embarrassing, why imperfection is so uncomfortable, and what it means to be okay with being seen as flawed. Louie and Michael debate the phrase “figure it out” — is it tough love or secretly insulting? Michael opens up about practicing reliance and verbal processing with the people in his life, while Louie reflects on a recent codependent moment that sparks tension between them. It’s a vulnerable and funny conversation about trying new things, embracing failure, communication in relationships, and the messy process of personal growth. Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 topics: therapy podcast, mental health podcast, embracing imperfection, learning to fail, vulnerability, codependency recovery, communication in relationships, personal growth podcast, men’s mental health, self acceptance, trying new hobbies, emotional growth, unlicensed therapy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Louie reflects on radical acceptance, family wounds, and whether he truly desires a connection with his father. This week, Louie and Michael unpack the idea of fatherhood — from the hypothetical qualities they wish they’d had in a dad, to what it means to grow up without a father figure. Louie challenges Michael’s story of not having one, and shares his perspective on who carries the responsibility for repairing parent–child relationships. Michael opens up about how codependency and avoidance have shaped his romantic life, especially in a long-distance relationship. He shares the painful reality of emotional whiplash — the push–pull, yo-yo effect — and how it impacts intimacy, trust, and connection. It’s a vulnerable and raw conversation about fathers, family dynamics, codependency, and the difficult process of learning to accept people as they are while still protecting your own emotional health. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Topics: therapy podcast, mental health podcast, radical acceptance, father wounds, fatherhood, absent father, family dynamics, repairing parent–child relationships, codependency recovery, long distance relationships, emotional whiplash, yo-yo relationships, self-growth, unlicensed therapy, breakups, heartbreak Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105