Secondhand Therapy Fawning: The Hidden Trauma Response Behind People-Pleasing | #105
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Oct 27, 2025 Dive into the nuanced world of fawning, where extreme people-pleasing stems from hidden trauma. The hosts explore how emotional immaturity in parents can breed codependency and a desperate need for safety. They discuss the challenge of identifying emotional safety and the slow journey of healing, punctuated by Lou's sharing of his own past trauma and its impact on relationships. Learn how naming fawning brings awareness, but change is a gradual process filled with self-discovery.
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Fawning As A Trauma Survival Strategy
- Fawning is a trauma response where you become whoever others need to be to feel safe.
- Lou describes it as extreme people-pleasing that sacrifices identity to avoid conflict.
Chameleon Behavior In High School
- Lou recounts being a chameleon in high school to fit in and avoid rejection.
- He says he would join others' anger to diffuse potential conflict and protect himself.
Childhood Conditioning Creates Fawning
- Fawning often develops from emotionally immature parents using conditional love or emotional hitting.
- Lou links this upbringing to hypervigilance and managing others' emotions to stay safe.
