Inside Bipolar

Do you feel trapped in a therapy or psychiatry relationship that feels stagnant, unsettling, or just plain wrong? This episode pulls no punches as hosts Gabe Howard — who lives with bipolar disorder — and Dr. Nicole Washington — a board certified psychiatrist — tackle the uncomfortable question most people think about but rarely voice: “How, and when, is it time to part ways with your mental health professional?" This direct and practical conversation cuts through the guilt, the logistics, and the myths about “ghosting” therapists, psychiatrists, and counselors. Dr. Nicole explains when walking away is OK, when to be careful (especially with meds), and why honest communication can actually be beneficial to you as the patient. Gabe brings the patient perspective — what it feels like to doubt care, to fear being “difficult,” and some tips to tell if the problem is the professional, your stage in recovery, or just a bad fit. Takeaways You don’t have to explain, but honest conversation is usually the healthier choice. Plan transitions first: “Ghosting” can create dangerous gaps in your care. Ask for records and time your switch to minimize treatment disruption. If you’ve ever wondered whether you owe the professional an explanation, how to keep medication continuity, or what to ask on day one to avoid a mismatch later — this episode is for you. Expect blunt truth and step-by-step strategies to move on responsibly so your recovery doesn’t skip a beat. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after suicide prevention and mental health speaker, but he wouldn’t be any of those things today if he hadn’t been committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003.Gabe also hosts Healthline's Inside Mental Health podcast has appeared in numerous publications, including Bipolar magazine, WebMD, Newsweek, and the Stanford Online Medical Journal. He has appeared on all four major TV networks, ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX. Among his many awards, he is the recipient of Mental Health America’s Norman Guitry Award, received two Webby Honoree acknowledgements, and received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero.” Gabe wrote the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Got topic ideas or questions? Hit us up at show@psychcentral.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel people are manipulating or using you because of your bipolar disorder diagnosis? If that question hits a nerve, this podcast episode is for you. When a listener emailed us because they felt they were being exploited due to their diagnosis, hosts Gabe Howard (who lives with bipolar disorder) and Dr. Nicole Washington (a licensed psychiatrist) dove headfirst into a frank conversation about loneliness, control, and the messy reality of potentially unequal relationships. Gabe shares personal stories of how a friend used his desire for connection to get what they wanted — free tickets, emotional labor, and more — while giving little in return. Dr. Nicole helps unpack how mental illness can cloud your ability to spot toxic dynamics until it's too late. Together, they explore what it really means to set boundaries, recognize red flags, and take your power back without beating yourself up for what you allowed in the past. You’ll learn how to rebuild your life with real friends, regain your self-worth, and protect your peace — one boundary at a time. If you've ever looked around and wondered, "Why do I feel like I'm the only one giving?" and wondered if you are being taken advantage of due to a bipolar diagnosis — listen now. “The real reality is I've lost friends for all kinds of reasons. Because I've switched jobs, because I've moved, because I'm no longer in high school, because I've outgrown them. The number one reason, honestly, is because I don't have children. And many of my friends went on to have kids. When you live with bipolar disorder, you tend to think that the only reason that you lose people is because of bipolar disorder. And I don't think that serves us. I think maybe a better way to look at it is, you know, when you were sick, these were your friends. But as you reached recovery, as you got better, you made different friends because your situation changed. And I think that's much healthier than saying, well, bipolar disorder cost me all my friends.” ~Gabe Howard, Host Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! Among his many accolades, Gabe received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero,” and had the distinct honor of speaking at Oxford University in England. To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can be living in a storm and swear it’s a sunny day. That’s what it’s like when insight slips away. In this episode, Dr. Nicole (board certified psychiatrist) and Kit Wallis (lives with schizoaffective disorder) explore why people with serious mental illness, like bipolar disorder, often can’t see their own symptoms — even when the evidence is undeniable. Dr. Nicole unpacks the science behind lack of insight and explains how it isn’t all-or-nothing. Insight flickers, evolves, and sometimes disappears just when you need it most. From Kit’s early experiences hearing voices (and assuming they were just a creative mind) to the manic episodes that shattered her reality, you’ll hear firsthand how denial and confusion can coexist. Discover why antipsychotic medications didn’t convince Kit the voices weren’t real, why manic highs feel too good to question, and why telling someone “you’re sick” rarely makes them believe it. If you’ve questioned why it’s so hard to see bipolar symptoms in yourself or a loved one, this conversation will open your eyes to the hidden forces behind denial — and acceptance. Cold Open Transcript: Kit Wallis: It took me years to figure out I was hallucinating. And the voices hated it whenever I did that. They were like, don’t do that, don’t research us, don’t do that. Looking back on it, it doesn’t make sense, but in the moment, it made perfect sense to me. It’s kind of wild to me that I can go through all this effort to really figure out what is going on and I still have moments where it just completely slips my mind. It still slips my mind when it is happening most of the time. We have a guest host for this episode (Don’t worry, Gabe Howard will be back!): Our guest host, Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-form videos on her YouTube channel and short-form content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Her content centers around her personal experience with schizoaffective disorder and often includes deep dives into research topics regarding mental health. Kit was diagnosed with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder in late 2020 and has struggled with symptoms since she was in middle school. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences symptoms of schizophrenia--such as delusions and hallucinations--but also symptoms of a mood disorder--either major depression or, in Kit's case, bipolar. Realizing there was a lack of schizoaffective advocates, she decided to start her SchizoKitzo project to raise awareness for this complex condition. The mission of SchizoKitzo is to raise awareness of schizoaffective disorder and all of its aspects, from the mood side to the psychotic side. Kit works to bridge the gap between life and science so she can help break the stigma around mental health. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve received a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Now it’s time to sharpen your survival toolkit. In part two of this essential series, Gabe Howard (Lived Experience) and Dr. Nicole Washington (Board Certified Psychiatrist) dive straight into the signals you can’t afford to miss: the subtle shifts in sleep, mood, and behavior that whisper “episode incoming.” Learn why tracking your patterns today becomes your superpower tomorrow, and how a simple “chain analysis” can turn hindsight into foresight. With candid humor, real‑world examples (yes, Taco Bell may factor in), and expert guidance, this episode transforms “How did I miss that?” into “I can see it coming—and I’m ready.” Press play and empower yourself with the roadmap that turns panic into proactive action. (Link to the first episode: New Diagnosis? All the Basics Unlocked (Part 1 of 2)) Cold Open Transcript: Dr. Nicole You have to be honest with us about everything, including, as Gabe so eloquently put it, getting your freak on. Gabe: Getting your freak on. Getting your freak on. Dr. Nicole: You gotta tell us. Gabe: It's the number one reason that people stop taking their meds. Dr. Nicole: Yes, yes, yes. Gabe: And they always report to me I just stopped taking my medicine because I couldn't get an erection. Because my libido was down. You know, the sex didn't feel as good. I couldn't achieve orgasm. So I just Dr. Nicole: Yeah. Gabe: Stopped taking my medicine. And I don't want to tell my Dr. Nicole that. Dr. Nicole: Yeah. Because she's an old lady. Because she's Gabe: Yeah. Dr. Nicole: An old lady. She's the same age as my mom. I can't talk to her about sex. Gabe: Yeah, yeah. I hear that all the time. All the time. Number one reason. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! Among his many accolades, Gabe received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero,” and had the distinct honor of speaking at Oxford University in England. To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Facing a new bipolar diagnosis can be overwhelming. The hosts discuss essential truths, emphasizing that bipolar is a lifelong journey similar to diabetes. They highlight the importance of distinguishing fact from fiction in treatment information. Medication plays a crucial role in managing episodes, and communication with healthcare providers is key. Plus, they explore how sleep hygiene is vital for mood stability. Overall, they advocate for a comprehensive and informed approach to wellness.

In this female-centric episode, board certified psychiatrist Dr. Nicole Washington welcomes mental health advocate Kit Wallis, who lives with schizoaffective disorder, for a fearless “girl power” takeover. Kit shares raw stories of being dismissed, sexualized, and romanticized simply for being a woman with a serious mental health diagnosis — and how one doctor’s simple question, “What is it like for you?” completely changed her care. Together, they pull back the curtain on the “crazy girl” trope, explore why stability truly is the new sexy, and celebrate the radical act of being heard. You’ll learn how gender bias sneaks into clinical decisions — from medication adjustments to life-altering procedures — and discover practical tools for reclaiming agency: setting boundaries, understanding transference in therapy, and advocating for respectful, person-centered care. Tune in and join Dr. Nicole and Kit for an uplifting, eye-opening discussion, because when women speak, real change happens.  We have a guest host for this episode (Don’t worry, Gabe Howard will be back!) Our guest host, Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-form videos on her YouTube channel and short-form content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Her content centers around her personal experience with schizoaffective disorder and often includes deep dives into research topics regarding mental health. Kit was diagnosed with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder in late 2020 and has struggled with symptoms since she was in middle school. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences symptoms of schizophrenia--such as delusions and hallucinations--but also symptoms of a mood disorder--either major depression or, in Kit's case, bipolar. Realizing there was a lack of schizoaffective advocates, she decided to start her SchizoKitzo project to raise awareness for this complex condition. The mission of SchizoKitzo is to raise awareness of schizoaffective disorder and all of its aspects, from the mood side to the psychotic side. Kit works to bridge the gap between life and science so she can help break the stigma around mental health. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover the power of a simple 20-minute walk in managing bipolar disorder. Gabe Howard shares his transformation from skepticism to embracing daily walks, revealing their surprising benefits for mood and mental health. Dr. Nicole Washington discusses the importance of lifestyle choices, including exercise, alongside traditional therapies. Join them on a journey highlighting small steps, social connections, and the joy found in movement. Celebrate the idea that progress doesn’t have to be perfect – just getting started can shift everything!

Imagine being fully awake, yet your body refuses to respond — a terrifying state where time seems to warp as you stand paralyzed. In this riveting episode, we dive deep into the elusive world of catatonia as it intersects with bipolar disorder. Drawing from special guest host Kit Wallis’s (SchizoKitzo’s) firsthand experiences, including moments of being physically “frozen” while fully aware, this episode unpacks the surprising complexities behind catatonia. Listeners will gain a clear and compassionate understanding of the three distinct presentations as host Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, breaks down the symptoms and dispels common misconceptions, while Kit shares intimate details of how these episodes have disrupted her life and ultimately guided her toward better management of her mental health. Whether you are directly affected by bipolar disorder or seeking a deeper insight into its hidden facets, this discussion promises to be an enlightening journey into one of the most misunderstood aspects of the condition. We have a guest host for this episode (Don’t worry, Gabe Howard will be back!): Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-form videos on her YouTube channel and short-form content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Her content centers around her personal experience with schizoaffective disorder and often includes deep dives into research topics regarding mental health. Kit was diagnosed with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder in late 2020 and has struggled with symptoms since she was in middle school. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences symptoms of schizophrenia--such as delusions and hallucinations--but also symptoms of a mood disorder--either major depression or, in Kit's case, bipolar. Realizing there was a lack of schizoaffective advocates, she decided to start her SchizoKitzo project to raise awareness for this complex condition. The mission of SchizoKitzo is to raise awareness of schizoaffective disorder and all of its aspects, from the mood side to the psychotic side. Kit works to bridge the gap between life and science so she can help break the stigma around mental health. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt the crushing weight of doubt when every day is a battle with your own mind? In this episode, Gabe (who lives with bipolar) and Dr. Nicole (a board certified psychiatrist) cut through the BS and get real about staying on track with bipolar treatment. They dive into moments when giving up seems like the easier option and Gabe recalls a painful wake-up call from a friend who wasn’t holding back their anger — a moment that ignited a drive to prove everyone wrong. Dr. Nicole breaks down why even the smallest victories, like getting out of bed or planning a future getaway, can mean everything. With no sugarcoating, they explore the raw truth behind why fighting isn’t just for the dark days — it’s a constant, everyday challenge. This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered how to find the strength to keep moving forward when life feels overwhelming. “I did not want to lay down and die. My core philosophical values and belief systems is that this is all there is. Whatever I do with it, that's my life. That will be how I'm remembered. That is what people will see. Whatever joy or suffering or pain or happiness or success or laughter or connections, this is all there is. And if I just sit at home and do nothing, then I will just be remembered as the guy who sat at home and did nothing. And I don't want to be remembered that way.” ~Gabe Howard, Host Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! Among his many accolades, Gabe received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero,” and had the distinct honor of speaking at Oxford University in England. To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is schizoaffective disorder so often overlooked — even by mental health professionals — and how does it relate to bipolar disorder? In this episode, Dr. Nicole Washington sits down with guest host Kit Wallis (aka SchizoKitzo) to discuss Kit’s life managing schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.Kit shares her decade-long journey through multiple diagnoses, from cyclothymia to bipolar I, before finally receiving the correct diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. Kit explains why this diagnosis finally made sense and how she educated herself on her disorder.If you’ve ever wondered about the blurry lines between bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorder — or just want to hear a powerful story of self-advocacy — this episode is for you.Cold Open Transcript: Dr. Nicole: Some people will tell me that their voices are not all bad, and they don't necessarily want to get rid of them.Kit: Oh, man. That's a can of worms. That is a can of worms. When I was telling my psychiatrist that I was experiencing religious delusions, and I went on antipsychotics to get rid of the god who hated me, but not necessarily for the voices who helped me so much. I ended up losing the others and I think about the voices that I don’t hear anymore all the time because I miss them that much.We have a guest host (Don't worry, Gabe Howard will be back!) for this episode:Our host, Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-form videos on her YouTube channel and short-form content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Her content centers around her personal experience with schizoaffective disorder and often includes deep dives into research topics regarding mental health.Kit was diagnosed with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder in late 2020 and has struggled with symptoms since she was in middle school. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences symptoms of schizophrenia--such as delusions and hallucinations--but also symptoms of a mood disorder--either major depression or, in Kit's case, bipolar. Realizing there was a lack of schizoaffective advocates, she decided to start her SchizoKitzo project to raise awareness for this complex condition.The mission of SchizoKitzo is to raise awareness of schizoaffective disorder and all of its aspects, from the mood side to the psychotic side. Kit works to bridge the gap between life and science so she can help break the stigma around mental health.Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions.Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices