Inside Bipolar

Imagine being fully awake, yet your body refuses to respond — a terrifying state where time seems to warp as you stand paralyzed. In this riveting episode, we dive deep into the elusive world of catatonia as it intersects with bipolar disorder. Drawing from special guest host Kit Wallis’s (SchizoKitzo’s) firsthand experiences, including moments of being physically “frozen” while fully aware, this episode unpacks the surprising complexities behind catatonia. Listeners will gain a clear and compassionate understanding of the three distinct presentations as host Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, breaks down the symptoms and dispels common misconceptions, while Kit shares intimate details of how these episodes have disrupted her life and ultimately guided her toward better management of her mental health. Whether you are directly affected by bipolar disorder or seeking a deeper insight into its hidden facets, this discussion promises to be an enlightening journey into one of the most misunderstood aspects of the condition. We have a guest host for this episode (Don’t worry, Gabe Howard will be back!): Kit Wallis, who goes by SchizoKitzo, is a content creator who advocates for schizoaffective and bipolar disorders. She uses long-form videos on her YouTube channel and short-form content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Her content centers around her personal experience with schizoaffective disorder and often includes deep dives into research topics regarding mental health. Kit was diagnosed with the bipolar type of schizoaffective disorder in late 2020 and has struggled with symptoms since she was in middle school. Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences symptoms of schizophrenia--such as delusions and hallucinations--but also symptoms of a mood disorder--either major depression or, in Kit's case, bipolar. Realizing there was a lack of schizoaffective advocates, she decided to start her SchizoKitzo project to raise awareness for this complex condition. The mission of SchizoKitzo is to raise awareness of schizoaffective disorder and all of its aspects, from the mood side to the psychotic side. Kit works to bridge the gap between life and science so she can help break the stigma around mental health. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt the crushing weight of doubt when every day is a battle with your own mind? In this episode, Gabe (who lives with bipolar) and Dr. Nicole (a board certified psychiatrist) cut through the BS and get real about staying on track with bipolar treatment. They dive into moments when giving up seems like the easier option and Gabe recalls a painful wake-up call from a friend who wasn’t holding back their anger — a moment that ignited a drive to prove everyone wrong. Dr. Nicole breaks down why even the smallest victories, like getting out of bed or planning a future getaway, can mean everything. With no sugarcoating, they explore the raw truth behind why fighting isn’t just for the dark days — it’s a constant, everyday challenge. This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered how to find the strength to keep moving forward when life feels overwhelming. “I did not want to lay down and die. My core philosophical values and belief systems is that this is all there is. Whatever I do with it, that's my life. That will be how I'm remembered. That is what people will see. Whatever joy or suffering or pain or happiness or success or laughter or connections, this is all there is. And if I just sit at home and do nothing, then I will just be remembered as the guy who sat at home and did nothing. And I don't want to be remembered that way.” ~Gabe Howard, Host Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! Among his many accolades, Gabe received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero,” and had the distinct honor of speaking at Oxford University in England. To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kit Wallis, known as SchizoKizo, is a passionate mental health advocate living with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. In this engaging conversation, she shares her decade-long journey from various misdiagnoses to understanding her true condition. Kit emphasizes the often-overlooked connections between schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder. She also discusses the complexities of living with psychosis, the importance of self-advocacy, and how therapy has been crucial for her recovery, all while highlighting the need for greater awareness and support.

Ever wonder what happens when two complex mental health conditions collide? In this episode, host Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and board certified psychiatrist Dr. Nicole Washington, peel back the layers of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and bipolar disorder, challenging the clichés and misconceptions that have long overshadowed these conditions.Using humor, candor, and expert insight, they share personal anecdotes and surprising research that illuminate the hidden battles behind intrusive thoughts, relentless rituals, and shifting moods. This conversation dives deep into how misinterpreting symptoms can lead to confusion and missed diagnoses — making it a must listen for anyone seeking clarity on the comorbidity of these two conditions.  Whether you’re navigating these challenges yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode invites you to rethink what you know about OCD and bipolar disorder.“It's very difficult to have an episode about OCD and bipolar disorder because they're two unique illnesses that present in very unique ways. And I'm not sure what it looks like when they blend together. You may or may not have it. The things that you're describing as OCD may very well just be personality traits or just part of bipolar disorder. So I want to ask you very specifically, is there anything unique about OCD and bipolar disorder put together that our audience needs to know that our listeners should be aware of or concerned about?”~Gabe Howard, HostOur host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many people with bipolar disorder experience trauma — either from external events or even from the disorder itself. In this episode, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, dive into the deep waters of managing trauma with bipolar disorder.They cover the differences between trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), debunking common misconceptions. They explore how experiences like suicidal episodes, hospitalization, job loss, and manic behavior can leave lasting emotional scars and why it’s important to manage them.Most importantly, they discuss how to validate your experiences, communicate with loved ones and medical professionals, and take steps toward healing. If you've ever felt dismissed or struggled to explain how bipolar-related trauma affects you, this episode is a must listen."People with bipolar disorder have trauma because of it. So much of this is driven from the fact that people aren't taken seriously. I want to say, as a person living with bipolar disorder, it is real. Bipolar disorder caused you trauma. You are traumatized because of your experiences with bipolar disorder." ~Gabe Howard, HostTo learn more -- or read the transcript -- visit the official episode page. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bipolar doesn’t just impact mood — it can take a toll on your sex drive, too. In this frank conversation, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, break down how both depression and mania affect libido, the frustration of losing sexual desire, and the pressures of maintaining intimacy in relationships.They cover why some people care deeply about their loss of sexual desire while others barely notice and seem not to mind. How do medication side effects and the emotional weight of bipolar disorder complicate sex and intimacy? And what about the expectations partners place on each other?This episode tackles it all — including the unspoken struggles of men and women navigating sex while managing mental health and the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Whether you're personally affected or supporting a loved one, this episode offers crucial insights into an often overlooked topic."When it gets right down to it, hyposexuality is simple. Your libido is lowered and you don't know why. You need to follow this up. I know people are listening to this because bipolar disorder is what they feel is causing their issue." ~Gabe Howard, HostTo learn more -- or read the transcript -- visit the official episode page.Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) often conjures extreme images — either as a medieval torture method or a miraculous cure. But what’s the reality? Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, dive deep into the facts, debunking myths and exploring the nuances of ECT as a treatment for bipolar disorder.In this episode, they discuss the effectiveness of ECT, why it’s not a first-line treatment, and the barriers patients face, from logistical challenges to fears about memory loss. With candid insights and personal reflections, they tackle tough questions: Is ECT worth it? What are the real risks? How does it compare to medication? Whether you're curious, skeptical, or considering ECT for yourself or a loved one, this episode offers a grounded perspective on a complex, life-changing therapy. Don’t miss this enlightening and thought-provoking discussion.  Cold Open Transcript: Gabe: Controversy aside, I don't understand how zapping somebody's brain makes them better. It just doesn't make any sense. Are electrical currents magic? Do they have some sort of medicinal capabilities?Dr. Nicole: No, [Laughter]. Well, no. Gabe, electro-currents are not magical. But the seizure that they induce is what can be valuable to the person with the disorder.Gabe: So the electrical shock stimulates the seizure. And the…Dr. Nicole: Yes.Gabe: Seizure is where the treatment comes inDr. Nicole: The seizure is the treatment. The shock is just how we get there.To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does "bipolar rage" exist, or is it a misunderstood concept? In this episode, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, tackle bipolar rage and discuss why it’s not a clinical symptom of bipolar disorder.They explore the differences between anger, agitation, and rage, offering insights for those with bipolar disorder and their loved ones. Learn why violent outbursts can't always be attributed to bipolar disorder, and why personal accountability matters.This episode also empowers loved ones to prioritize their safety and set boundaries if they feel threatened, whether the behavior stems from bipolar disorder or something else. With practical advice, myth-busting facts, and a touch of tough love, this conversation offers clarity and actionable steps for managing tough emotions. Hit play to uncover the truth and start making meaningful changes today!“The best time to have a fire drill is when there is no fire. Don’t try to have a fire drill after the house is on fire. So many people try to work out how to prevent rage issues or arguments in the middle of arguments. Now is the time to do it. Not during, but before it happens.” ~Gabe Howard, HostTo learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ADHD and bipolar disorder often share symptoms, but are they truly co-occurring conditions or just two sides of the same coin? Join Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and psychiatrist Dr. Nicole Washington as they tackle one of the most perplexing topics in mental health. They dive into how these diagnoses overlap, how doctors differentiate between them, and why ADHD might sometimes be over diagnosed.Discover the challenges of treating ADHD in someone with bipolar disorder and why the right diagnosis matters for effective treatment. With engaging analogies and personal insights, this episode explores the fine line between labeling symptoms and focusing on wellness. If you or a loved one are navigating ADHD, bipolar disorder, or both, this is a must-listen conversation.Cold Open Transcript:Gabe: Hey, you're saying that I have bipolar disorder, but couldn't this just be ADHD or ADHD symptoms? You're saying that I have mania, but isn't that just hyperactivity? You're saying that I'm having racing thoughts, but isn't that just lack of ability to focus?Dr. Nicole: Yeah, yeah.Gabe: And they’re like, well, wait a minute. I just have ADHD. What’s this bipolar stuff that’s coming up?Dr. Nicole: It is possible that those symptoms that look like ADHD could be untreated mood symptoms.To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever heard someone say they miss the “old you” — the life of the party, the one who could stay out all night and keep everyone entertained? For people with bipolar disorder, those “good old days” were often fueled by mania, bringing hidden chaos, risk, and pain. In this candid episode, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, dive into why some friends and family romanticize manic episodes, ignoring the struggles beneath the surface.They unpack the emotional toll of hearing, “You used to be so much fun,” and explore how to set boundaries, educate others, and navigate feelings of nostalgia. Whether you're managing bipolar disorder or supporting someone, this episode offers invaluable insights into maintaining stability while addressing the pressures of the past. Tune in to uncover the truth behind the “good old days” and why the “new you” deserves to be celebrated.Cold Open Transcript:Gabe: If somebody's like, I miss the good old days. I miss your mania. I miss how you used to be.Dr. Nicole: Yes.Gabe: You know, obviously I'm going to cut you off, you ignorant fool, is something you can say back.Dr. Nicole: [Laughter] Not if you want them in your life. I mean, if you're ready to cut it off, say what you need to say and walk away, in very dramatic fashion. But if this is a relationship that you want to salvage, I think then you have to be willing to put up a little bit of vulnerability, as hard as that may be.To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar. Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices