Ask Kati Anything

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why compassion can sometimes be triggering, how exposure therapy works, and whether or not she has ever lied to a client. Then she talks about internal emotional conflict, the stages of eating disorder recovery, and how we are impacted by our subconscious mind. Ask Kati Anything ep. 251 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Why do I get an anxious adrenaline rush every time someone shows any sort of compassion or pity towards me? Whenever friends or even my therapist shows compassion or empathy or when she says things like “I’m so sorry- that must’ve been so hard”, I feel simultaneously really good and acknowledged and cared for, but also very anxious and uncomfortable. Growing up, I... 00:36 2. If the point of exposure therapy is to expose oneself to the anxiety inducing situations in order to prove to ourselves that it’s not that bad or as bad as we think, how is that supposed to work if the situation IS as bad or even worse than what we anticipate? Like if someone has social anxiety, and making a phone call or meeting a friend for coffee is super scary because you worry about saying or doing something embarrassing or not having anything to say or your mind going blank etc., what do you do if every time without a fail you somehow do manage to embarrass yourself and have so many awkward silences and not know what to say? 08:23 3. My question is have you ever lied to a client? Would you ever condone it if you were to lead other clinicians?? When is it hardest for you to be honest with clients? 12:52 4. I'm curious on how to deal with always feeling emotionally internally conflicted. Sometimes I feel great like nothing is wrong with me and then other times I just want to lay in bed and do nothing because everything feels pointless. What happens when this causes you to not fit certain diagnostic criteria? I often feel like I’m asked questions like “what has your general mood been?” or “do you have negative thoughts about yourself?” I have trouble answering because I feel so confused about the conflicting emotions I have. It’s like sometimes I’m confused by how I could even be having negative feelings/thoughts because of how contrary I feel at other times (but not consistently in any sort of pattern). 16:46 5. Hi Kati! First, I’d like to thank you for the wonderful and helpful work that you do. It’s all very much appreciated! After 15 very long years, I’ve finally been able to give up my eating disorder. I’m happy to say that I’ve been behavior free for just over a year. However, I still have body image issues and it certainly doesn’t help that I happen to be overweight (I realize weight loss isn’t the answer). I’m 58 years old and can’t seem to stop the anxiety associated with eating, body size and weight. I grew up in a larger body and experienced trauma associated due to that fact. I’d like to be able to say I’m fully recovered in the new year and never again be triggered by photos of myself. What can you suggest that might help me get the rest of the way? 22:10 6. Hey Kati! I hear a lot about “the subconscious mind,” but more from a spiritual context. Can you talk more about the subconscious mind and how it affects us? 26:32 PUBLISHED BOOKSTraumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers ways to increase our resilience and tolerance to life’s stressors, why it’s important to speak up in therapy, and why we can sometimes wish our therapist could read our mind. She then discusses the reasons we can struggle to talk about our issues in therapy without feeling full of shame about it. Ask Kati Anything ep. 250 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Can you provide any tips or techniques to increase resiliency and tolerance to life's stressors? 00:58 2. Is getting a therapy appointment about once a month (due to extremely limited availability at college clinics) worth it even if it doesn’t feel like it’s helping? What can you do when your insurance deductible is really high and you’re a college student working multiple jobs just to make rent, food, etc? Especially when parents won’t help pay. I’ve tried medication but nothing feels like it’s working. Hope this gets answered because I feel like there are lots of people in this situation. 06:15 3. You often say that if something your therapist says or does bothers you or triggers you, you should bring it up and talk about it with your therapist. But I often feel like if I say something to them and they stop doing/saying whatever it is, then I'm not really learning how to deal with similar situations in the real world. Realistically, I can't go around telling the world to not say or act a certain way so I feel reluctant to say anything when it happens in the therapy room. But then I spiral out and get frustrated with myself for even being bothered by something that I clearly understand was not done intentionally. I also don't want to make my therapist feel... 10:56 4. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who does this, but I’ve noticed that in therapy I often expect my therapist to be able to read my mind. But I know this is impossible and unfair to her. For example, I told her the other day that I had written down some thoughts I had after the previous session and I told her I wasn’t sure if I should read them to her or not. Her response was “It’s up to you.” By her saying it was up to me, I know she was just respecting whichever decision I made and she didn’t want to force me to read it if I didn’t want to. But for some reason I just assumed she could read my mind so when she replied in a respectfully neutral way, I felt a bit let down and I thought to myself “okay but do you REALLY want to know my thoughts?” In that moment I really wanted HER to WANT me to read them to her. Like I suppose in a validation type of way I wanted to feel as if she really WANTED to know my thoughts and inner experience.. to feel like she really cares and is invested in me and my experience. Obviously I know it’s unfair to expect her to have read my mind though...I do this quite often. And I end up feeling frustrated and disappointed and let down. Why do I do this? 24:28 5. How can I learn to manage the shame I feel talking about my 'issues' in therapy? I have CPTSD and I intellectually know shame is a large part of that, but that doesn't stop me feeling overwhelmed by shame having discussed things with my therapist. I go for days thinking that she must be disgusted by me and cannot possibly want me as a client ... and I feel too ashamed to talk about this shame! 31:56 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers her thoughts on using AI chat agents in between therapy sessions, why trauma can be hard to move past, and what it really means to be willing versus just trying. She also talks about wanting friends while being a socially anxious introvert, and why our therapist telling us she cares about us can be triggering. Ask Kati Anything ep. 249 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I’m currently seeing a therapist (cognitive behavioral therapy with a focus on trauma). Since the sessions can be emotionally intense, I’ve started to use ChatGPT between appointments to help process my thoughts and manage difficult emotions. I had previously tried journaling, but it felt more like a monologue and wasn’t as helpful. Using ChatGPT, however, has allowed me to engage in a dialogue, which has been more effective in organizing my thoughts and gaining clarity. When I shared this with my therapist, she expressed concern. She mentioned that using AI in this way might be similar to seeking support from another therapist, which could interfere with the therapeutic process. She also cautioned against the risk of isolation. My question for you: From a psychological perspective, what do you think about using AI as a supplemental tool between therapy sessions? Could it hinder the healing process? If so, what alternatives would you recommend to help navigate emotionally challenging periods between sessions? 00:36 2. I’ve noticed a lot of talk about repressed trauma on the podcast. I, however, remember everything. I’m currently working through some of this with an EMDR therapist. I’m having some difficulty letting go of these incidents, mainly because I feel like this invalidates them. Also, I feel the need to keep them in my back pocket- so to speak- so as to justify my hurt whenever I need to. My question is- what does it look like to work through trauma, while still recognizing that it was awful? As a separate note- why am I having an extreme physical reaction (shaking, almost convulsing) in the midst of EMDR therapy? 04:51 3. What does it really mean to be willing vs just trying? My therapist says I need to stop trying and start being willing, but I don’t understand the difference. In my mind, wanting to get better, going to therapy, and putting in effort is being willing. It sometimes feels like he’s suggesting I’m not trying hard enough, which is frustrating. For context, I have CPTSD from significant childhood emotional neglect and abuse, which has continued into adulthood. Thanksgiving was especially traumatic, and I’m working hard to... 10:43 4. I’m a very socially anxious introvert, which causes me to avoid a lot of social situations and interactions. Sometimes I feel lonely and “friendless” but I am very close to my mom and my sister which feels like enough human connection to me. But is that really enough? 6:49 5. How do I stop being mad at my therapist for telling me she cares about me? Every time she tells me she has been worried or that she cares about me I get this voice in my head screaming at me that it's fake and that this relationship is not a real one. I feel like she says this stuff only because it's... 21:50 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the complexities of therapy and the common feelings of confusion and messiness in the process. Discover why we sometimes crave attention from a ‘favorite person’ and how this relates to emotional dependence and fear of abandonment. The impact of family dynamics, particularly with controlling parents, is also examined, emphasizing the importance of self-care and independence. Learn how isolation can harm us while connection and support play crucial roles in our healing journey.

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about why we can sometimes think we are in love with our therapist, ways we can get unstuck in life, and what to do with our passive suicidal thoughts. She also talks about feeling safe after surviving a trauma, and how to deal with transference and attachment in therapy. Ask Kati Anything ep. 247 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Kati I am in love with my therapist. I know you will probably say that transference is happening but I feel so madly in love with her. Everything about her is perfect and she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I feel like no one I’ll meet will ever even come close to how amazing she is and how much I feel for her. How do I stop having romantic feelings for my therapist? 00:00:32 2. Could you please talk about how one can get unstuck in life? I feel like I am reliving the same day over and over again, and not growing/evolving anymore. I’m so used to just watching life on the sidelines, like a movie, as opposed to actively participating in it. For reference, I do suffer from depression and I’m on medication for it. Thank you so much for everything that you do! 00:09:28 3. Hi, could you talk a bit more about passive suicidal thoughts. I almost got run over by a truck when crossing the street (he stopped in time at the end). I basically didn’t care, no shock, nothing. I just thought „ first of all, embarrassing, second of all this death would have been very welcome, sadly he stopped in time“. I went about my day as usual thinking about how chill I reacted not even caring if I would have died or not. I do have a past when it comes to suicidal thoughts and depression. 00:16:06 4. What does it mean to 'feel safe'? I have CPTSD and am hypervigilant. I get relaxation induced anxiety. I have tried following steps for reducing this but they often ask you to 'visualise somewhere you feel safe' or 'someone you feel safe with'. What does 'feel safe' mean? Is it a feeling in the body, or is it just the absence of overt fear? Or is it just an expression for some concept, like saying something is an 'act of god'? I expect my issue has the same root cause as my inability to feel happy / positive emotions. 00:20:29 5. What happens if transference and extreme attachment is not worked through in therapy and then therapy ends? This has happened for me and I am so overwhelmed by my emotions 24/7. I know how to work on attachment stuff by myself now from your videos but I just don’t know how to get closure if that makes sense. I miss her so much and it takes everything in me not to text her. Therapy ended a few months ago and I still miss her like crazy and I am so sad about it. Will that ever get better? Also can you feel “worse” in a way if you don’t work through issues (e.g transference) that came up in therapy? 00:24:44 6. In your opinion is this important to get a proper diagnosis? I was in therapy but I’ve never received a proper diagnosis. In my country only psychiatrists are allowed to diagnose you. I think I have quiet BPD among other mental illnesses and... 00:32:12 #podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) Youtube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we talk about sitting with our feelings and dealing with anxious thoughts, why self-harm is often talked about only in relation to teens, and why we can suddenly have suicidal thoughts. Then we get into whether or not we can do inner child work by ourselves, how to get ourselves to realize things aren’t as bad as they seem, and if therapy can be harmful. Ask Kati Anything ep.246 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I have learned how to feel my feelings and emotions in therapy, and I also realized that before that I used to not allow myself to really feel my feelings. I have bad anxiety and a lot of times my thoughts spiral out of control and then I end up worrying about all kinds of things and feel so much more anxious. I have realized if I don’t give in to all my thoughts, I feel a lot less anxious but is this avoiding feeling my feelings? Shouldn’t I be able to sit with my fears and uncomfortable feelings without pushing them away or avoiding to think about them? 2. Why is self injury usually talked about in relation to teens? I feel like I rarely hear it talked about as a coping mechanism for adults. Is it something that is more concerning if an adult does it? I am 37 years old and I have cptsd, adhd, anxiety and depression and have been in therapy for 5 years. I have been good at refraining from self injury but when things get too overwhelming it still is my first go to thought and unfortunately sometimes the way I cope (for example the outcome of the US election). My therapist is aware but I have a lot of shame because it feels “childish”. What are your thoughts? 3. So a few weeks ago I got this sudden urge to write a goodbye letter. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts on and off, but that idea has never really come up until now. Would you know why this suddenly happened? Should I be concerned? What should I do? I haven’t written anything down on paper yet, but a draft is being formulated in my head and the urge is still present. 4. How can I do inner child work by myself (therapy ended) when I dissociate 24/7? I remember you said you can’t process trauma when you are dissociating. When I was in therapy I was also dissociating in basically every session. When I try to do inner child work or journal for example, I sometimes feel it’s not so helpful because I feel so disconnected from it and I am not actually feeling what I am writing. 5. What are effective methods of realizing things aren’t as bad as they seem? I would also like to see a video about lost time that comes with depression and other disorders, and how to deal with and prevent losing so much time. 6. Can therapy be “harmful“? I sometimes feel like therapy makes my thoughts spiral more. I am very self aware and analyze everything about my thoughts and behaviors constantly, and therapy has made this so much worse. I love therapy and learning more about myself and analyzing where everything came from etc. but I also feel like I am very obsessive with it and it occupies my mind 24/7 and as a result I feel worse. I also feel like I consume too much psychological content but I find it so interesting. PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are talking all about getting a diagnosis. Why we might want one, why we might not agree when we finally get one, and my thoughts on self-diagnosis. We will talk about assessments and what it means to get a proper diagnosis. Finally, we will dig into labels as a whole and whether or not they can be stigmatizing. Ask Kati Anything ep. 245 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Why do I feel the need to diagnose myself or “pathologize” myself with a name for a mental illness/disorder? If I discover a diagnosis I could potentially have, I do sooo much research on it (almost to the point of it being obsessive because it’s all I can think about). I really want to have the diagnosis, but why? Why do I have to put a name to it? I feel like I need to be “sick” in order to be seen and for my experience to be valid. My mom (who is a therapist) doesn’t like that I do this because she says labels don’t help me move forward and it becomes my whole identity. And she says that... 00:37 2. What are the pros and cons of having a label or diagnosis for a mental illness? I know it can be validating but can it ever be detrimental? Like for example, even though I KNOW I struggle with social anxiety, I really want to be professionally diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. To me it feels like a way to prove my suffering to the world but I also am worried that I will... 10:51 3. I sincerely wanted to know Kati, do labels not cripple people further? Where it almost becomes an excuse for people to act in certain ways with little accountability. So instead it should be more of behavioral patterns we acknowledge with the intent of trying to assist people in a more CBT approach? I hope I’m making sense, thank you!! 18:30 4. Hi Kati, I've been wondering for a long time how to get diagnoses for a bunch of stuff since my family is quite opposed to the idea of me being autistic, or having ADHD, and other stuff they don't even know about like a dissociative disorder, OCD, and a possible eating disorder. Do I just have to wait until I become an adult if I can't get support in my home? Thanks for the podcast, it's so informative and, in my opinion, enjoyable! 22:28 5. Hey Kati! Is it possible to be DID/osdd without knowing, even if you don't remember any significant trauma? Thanks! 26:57 6. Hi Kati, I’m someone who has had undiagnosed ASD until this year. I’m having trouble accepting this new identity. How can people learn to accept this? What do people do with it? 31:17 MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL www.youtube.com/Katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com #podcast #psychology #katimorton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the complex emotions of loneliness and the impact of social isolation. The discussion reveals how past trauma can shape feelings of worthlessness and why therapy is essential for understanding these experiences. Learn strategies to build meaningful relationships and nurture a diverse social network. Tips on emotional maturity, recognizing feelings, and the importance of self-compassion are also shared, providing insights on how to cultivate genuine happiness and evaluate friendships.

This week we discuss not getting better in therapy, when we should give up, and if it’s up to us to know what we want to work on in therapy. We will also talk about depression and how to come to terms with it, and how to know if we are burnt out. Ask Kati Anything ep. 243 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I think I realize why I’m not getting better in therapy. I’ve been going to therapy for almost 10 years on and off. I don’t want to get better. I want someone to save me. Some people may argue that now that you’re an adult you have to save yourself. I’m tired of saving myself. I’ve been saving myself since I was eight years old. I am 29 years old now and struggle with so much self harm including addiction, and disordered eating. I just want someone to scoop me up and save me. How do I stop this mentality? I feel like I’m too old to be doing some of these things to myself. 00:36 2. My counselor told me ‘I can’t really help you if you don’t bring anything to our sessions’. I have already explained that when I come into a session and she says, ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ It stresses me out and I don’t know what to say, so a couple of weeks ago I wrote a list of stuff that is the biggest issues I have and stuff that I am finding the most difficult to deal with at the moment and I gave it to her and we went through that for a session so she has an idea of the stuff I want to work on but she continues to ask every week ‘what do you want to talk about today?’ 16:23 3. How to deal with (come to terms with, accept) depression? How do I get over feeling so useless, unable to function as an adult??? 19:32 4. I’ve been in therapy for 3+ years now and I don’t know it’s getting any better. I’ve been diagnosed with MDD and although functioning, I can’t seem to find joy in my everyday life. I’ve also spoken to my therapist about it and even told her about my want to stop therapy because I feel like I’m wasting her time. My therapist assured me I’m not wasting her time, and also gently persisted about continuing therapy since therapy is the only consistency right now that doesn’t malfunction (note: every other consistent routine doesn’t seem to stick even if I tried). What can I do to get out of the rut? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for all that you do. 24:12 5. Hey Kati, could you possibly talk about burnout? What could it look like? Would someone with depression already be more susceptible to burnout? And why might it be so hard to admit it and get help? I think I am either completely burnt out or close to it. I work a lot of overtime and can’t just take a break because I don’t have anyone to cover my position (head/only full time chef and kitchen manager at a residential school) I organize the whole week of meals for out students and to be able to take my “normal” days off, it requires so much extra work. I don’t know how to stand up for myself, how to rest when I do have small bits of time and even on my days off there are usually texts or calls to answer from work. I’m leaving my job in 6 months but that feels like a long time to just try and hang on. Any information, help or advice would be so appreciated. Thank you for everything. 27:37 6. Why do the Pollyannas keep telling me "it gets better" when it's painfully obvious that it only gets worse? 38:06 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Child-on-child abuse raises pressing questions about its long-term impact. Kati delves into whether victims may become abusers themselves and how trauma processing can be complex and daunting. She tackles the line between innocent exploration and harmful behavior in children. Additionally, the podcast explores reparenting and the challenges of connecting with therapists. Listeners also learn why discussing traumatic experiences multiple times can be a vital part of healing.