Ask Kati Anything

1. Why do therapists often like to sit and silently observe you for an uncomfortable amount of time? It happens when the conversation slows down and everything goes quiet and they just sit looking at you...2. How can you tell apart when your worrying has a legitimate reason and when it's just caused by your anxiety / perfectionism? I'm always worrying I won't work hard enough for my university, that my boyfriend will leave me, that I'm not trying hard enough in therapy...3. I hope you are well! I was wondering, do you have any tips to keep your brain from freezing up or going blank when talking about trauma? I recently started having what I think are recovered memories of sexual abuse, but I don't know for sure if...4. How do you handle it when a patient gives you “doorknob disclosure”? Is it common? Do most therapists find it annoying? Is there a reason some patients do this?5. My question is... How are you? A few weeks or months ago you told us that you were taking a (much deserved) break due to stress...6. How do you know when you're "drowning in the symptoms" enough to warrant medication?  For me,  I'm just on antidepressants which (according to my doctor) isn't specifically aimed at curbing my anxiety symptoms. So I still experience anxiety/panic attacks, but they are way less frequent. I have skills to aid me, which work, but it can take me a few days to find my feet again...7. Could it be beneficial to go to a therapist who reminds you of people who have hurt you in the past? I find myself having a hard time trusting my therapist because she reminds me of everyone who has hurt me before...8. I have been wondering how people "view" their memories. I often recall memories from a 3rd person perspective, i.e. I see myself doing something rather than from my own perspective/ eyes. Is this the norm or...9. What if you’re half ready for recovery? What can you do? I want to get better, but I don’t want to put in the effort it takes to use the skills. Sometimes I forget they exist and other times I just don’t do it.10. I do not know if this is common, but do your clients ever tell you they don’t want to give up their eating disorder as a “puffer fish” mechanism? Like I find myself saying these things when I really don’t mean it, it is just easier to say I don’t want recovery over...Video of episodes https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwKati's books in stores now!TRAUMATIZED - https://geni.us/Bfak0j ARE U OK? - http://bit.ly/2s0mULyAmazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPY  I do not currently offer online therapy.  BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimortonI receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. I only recommend services I know and trust.PATREON   https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (2nd podcast)video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/BUSINESS EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.79 - Kati Morton's Mental Health & Psychology Podcast1) How much of our childhood is normal to remember? I remember some things, but not a ton. My family life was fine growing up, I had loving parents, but I experienced bullying at school and social isolation because of that. I'm wondering if me not remembering stuff is because of the "trauma" of bullying or if it is just normal not to...2) Are suicidal thoughts dangerous when they aren't exactly in the near future or planned? I personally had this thought that once I start university I won't be able to handle the extra fears as I...3) I think you never talked about helicopter parents and the effects they have on children. What if instead of emotional neglect you receive so much attention and emotional presence from a parent you don’t learn how to operate on your own? How can one overcome the embarrassment...4) I have recently started seeing a trauma therapist. I like her but I haven’t really opened up about anything yet since I’m scared she won’t believe me and I’ll shut down like I usually do in session. How do I overcome my fear of not being believed by my therapist?5) How can I try not to let my depression take over too much when there are many changes going to happen? I´ll be moving soon and should start a program that helps me get better but I'm letting myself sulk in self pity and don't want to do anything but sleep all day. I fear I won't be able to get...6) Is it still considered sexual abuse if it happens between children who are only a year apart in age?  Like when one child is 8 and the other 9.  Does there have to be a big age difference for it to be considered sexual abuse or does age not matter?  Is it less traumatic if they are close in age?7) How do I know if symptoms of one mental illness is their own illness or just part of another? After watching your videos on Borderline and googling the most common symptoms myself, I mustered up the courage to ask my therapist if she thought I might have certain Borderline tendencies.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.78 - Kati Morton's Mental Health & Psychology Podcast1 (0:48) What's the best way to build self esteem after years of emotional and physical abuse? I was abused as a child and it feels like no matter how hard I try, my inner monologue/strongly held beliefs always...2 (18:43) Did going to school to be a therapist bring things up for you? I just started my program and I’m loving it, but I’ve noticed that a lot of people in my program are struggling to an...3 (24:17) Is it possible for someone with narcissistic personality disorder to be aware they have the disorder? It seems like a lot of therapists...4 (30:44) Have your clients ever gotten mad or angry at you during a session? If so, do you ever get frustrated with them/ not want to work with them anymore? How would you go about it?5 (38:29) In my last session with my therapist, she told me something that my mom told her. My mom doesn’t believe I was molested by my brother. Her exact words were “my brother and I used to be...6 (45:21) I've been suicidal for two years and there's only been a few days when my severe depression and suicidality lifted a little bit. What would you say to someone who really, really doesn't want to live...7 (51:45) Recently my therapist was talking about finding a way to release all the anger I have towards my childhood, not having the life I wanted and anger towards the ...8 (57:11) I was reading up on HIPAA for school recently and was wondering: why can patients be denied access to their psychotherapy notes? It seems unproductive if we can't ...9 (1:02:34) What is your take on those who believe mental illness isn't real? Any reasons you've heard to try and prove this statement? I've heard a few different arguments but ...10 (1:06:45) Before I ask my question, I wanted to say thank you to you and Sean for putting in the time to do AKA. I think it helps a lot of us feel heard and validated, and helps ...Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728My new book TRAUMATIZED is available for preorder! Order your copy today https://geni.us/Bfak0jSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED please visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything, ep.76 audience question: How to tell or show your therapist that you are doing worse than what she thinks. My therapist thinks I’m doing fine but I’m not, I feel like I’m dying from the inside.  I don’t know why I’m like this, but I want to be sicker than I am. Like, I know logically I probably only have anxiety and maybe autism, but I want to get diagnosed with a personality disorder... I hope you are well. Can we please talk about what happens when depression starts lifting? I am starting to look back now and I feel so sad at all the time I've lost, at all... As a therapist do you find it challenging to not wear your therapist hat in a regular situation where you’re not in that position of being a therapist? Is it common to feel as though you are lying or exaggerating when telling your therapist things that happened in the past, or what symptoms you have, or how your week.. Hope you have a wonderful day and are OK! Seeing your video about your burnout made me worry about you, so I wanted to check in! :-) Now. Over the last year I've been going to therapy... I keep seeing questions about being attached to a therapist or feeling sad, ect... if u need to move or something and u can't see them anymore... A few weeks ago you talked about touch aversion, and I’ve been wondering about the other side of it: What if you’ve always had a need for touch and physical affection that’s... Will a therapist always bring up transference? Or will they sometimes just notice it and use it as a tool to help heal. What are the signs a client is experiencing transference? I noticed you don’t really have any videos telling parents how to help their children with mental health issues. How should parents go about supporting their children when their children. Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED please visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything! ep.77 audience questions Can you give your therapist a ‘Summary of Me’ document so you don’t have to waste so many sessions getting through your whole life story? Or make your own trauma timeline to give to your new therapist instead of doing it in session?  How much thinking about therapy is too much? I find myself constantly analyzing myself and thinking about things I need to work on and things I need to talk about in therapy. The second I walk out of my session... What causes us to invalidate our traumas? I experienced multiple traumatic events growing up. I know it happened but it seems like I always downplay those events.... In my last therapy session, I told my therapist about some trauma that I dealt with as a kid. After I told my therapist about it, she asked me some questions... Do you have any tips for figuring out a healthy balance between helping others and excessive ‘people pleasing’? I feel like people-pleasing is core to my personality and... What are your thoughts on a therapist pushing to cut back on sessions because, her words, “other people need therapy too”? A previous therapist told me “I think we should try every other week now”. When I asked her why, she said she was seeing... How can you tell if you have an attachment to your therapist, transference, or just a healthy bond? And is it ever appropriate to ask your therapist for a hug or to sit next to you, assuming covid ends eventually and it’s safe? If you could only afford medication or therapy, which one would you pick? I've been seeing a therapist, for social anxiety and depression, for about 8 months now, and I haven't been getting any better. I'll be going back to university... Hey Kati! You have a new family member! Can we please hear all about Roxy?! Have a great week! Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To pre-order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything episode 75 What is/are the most common things where a client thinks they're the "only one", but really a therapist hears it ALL the time. What might be the most surprising?  How do you handle a client that appears to be really struggling at the very end of a session? As in about to burst into tears and very obviously just trying to hold everything together (but unsuccessfully)? Why do I find the thought of my therapist comforting or feeling empathy for me so soothing yet so uncomfortable? I'm not sure about it being attached to her.  Is there any "real" therapy work in the beginning/ when the client comes in every session with a whole bag of stories...  What if you had clients who did very bad things or shameful things? Should they mask it when they go to therapy or just say everything into the DETAIL?  How do I be okay with being myself in therapy? I have social anxiety, so I always have trouble talking in session, even answering simple questions is hard. But last session, I was able to open up more than ever before and just be myself like... What does a therapist have in place for their clients in case something happens to them (the therapist)? For example, a therapist dies or has a sudden emergency where they have to quit therapy? Do they have confidential information that is... I’m wondering after a patient ends therapy how long do you keep their notes? What if they come back after that time? Is it possible to have "symptoms" that aren't really symptoms? I feel like I am now hyper analyzing everything I do thinking that maybe it's a symptom but I wonder if... I recently set up an appt with my therapist after a year of not seeing her. I’m a frontline healthcare worker and the burnout is real. I’ve been struggling with postpartum anxiety... Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To pre-order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything ep.73 audience questions:1) Is fidgeting bad to do in a therapy session? I tend to fiddle a lot with my hands, lean forward and sit at the end of the seat in session. My therapist made me sit back and spread my hands and stop moving them, so I ended up  bouncing my...2) Has it ever felt strange going to therapy when you, yourself are a therapist? Does it ever seem kind of trippy, with their layers of perspective on top of yours? Or is being a therapist something you basically “shed” before your... 3) Is it possible to have symptoms of a disorder and not have the "full blown" thing? I struggle with fear of abandonment, attachment issues, self-harm and an unstable sense of self, but I don't think I struggle badly enough to have it classified as BPD... 4) This is a question about intimacy after trauma. I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years. Several months ago we uncovered some repressed sexual trauma memories. It causes me to dissociate anytime we get close to touching those memories...5)What do you do as a therapist if a client suddenly stops seeing you? I became bored with my therapist and I just want to never go again because I don't want to have to explain why I'm stopping... 6) How is it possible to handle doctor appointments (especially obygn) when sexual abuse has happened?  I am so afraid that this will retraumatize me or that I will struggle with flashbacks afterwards... 7) I was wondering if an aborted suicide attempt could be considered as a type of trauma. I had one several years ago but never really thought about it much. Symptoms of my depression and...Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/BUSINESS EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728PLEASE READIf you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To pre-order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything episode 74 Can you talk about whether it’s more important to prioritize processing past trauma or working through issues in the present? It feels more important to prioritize the... Can you just replay social situations over and over in your head without having social anxiety? I often find myself ruminating after socialising on what has happened, what I have... How do you know if you’re being re traumatized in your therapy sessions?I’ve been working through traumas in therapy and I’ve been unable to stay present. It started as dissociation in... Please can you give examples of what less severe dissociation is? I feel numb/ empty quite a lot of the time and like there is a part of me missing. When in therapy my mind can go blank... I’m struggling to know when I should take a break from therapy? I’m very much a perfectionist which leads to me feeling like I constantly need to be bettering... How do I tell my therapist I'm missing something in therapy? I've been struggling with my mental health (mostly burn-out and anxiety) for a while. I've been seeing my doctor... Happy Thursday! Why is it terrifying to be cared for? A few years ago a car crashed into the store where I worked. I was able to jump out of the way but was hit by a desk and... I was wondering if you have heard stories of people ending friendships or relationships around their negative views around mental health? A couple of years ago a friend of mine was ... Is it normal to feel like my struggles with mental illness are immature and childish? I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was about 12, and with the social anxiety... How common is it to be victimized 2 times? I was molested as a child and then my ex raped me. She knew about my brother molesting me as a child however she still... Video version of episodes https://youtu.be/WG-j4vtcYIsKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL 1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B, Box #353  Austin, TX 78728Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To pre-order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED visit https://geni.us/Bfak0jAsk Kati Anything ep.72 audience questions:1) I was wondering if a therapist would know if their patient isn't feeling that great or something's bothering them or their anxiety is a bit high... 2) Are therapists faking themselves in sessions? My therapist told me that she adapts to each client and is more mindful... 3) Can you please talk about why it’s physically so hard to talk about trauma? I want to try to talk through things in therapy, but I find that it’s physically hard to get...4) Can you talk about chronic loneliness and what it is? I thought I had social anxiety, and maybe I do, but it's this feeling of being unconnected that has me feeling hollow...5) I was wondering what inspired you to become a therapist? Specifically what made you want to focus on eating disorders and most recently trauma? 6) I’m always so distracted by what my therapist is typing or writing when I’m speaking. I know she’s just doing her job and that whatever notes she’s taking are probably pretty clinical...7) Do you have any tips on how to force yourself to do the work? For example, lately I have been wanting to try journaling, emotion charts, and reading more self help books...8) There have been a few times my therapist has overstepped in our relationship but instead of bringing these things up with her like I know I should, I actually find myself liking them and...9) Is it possible to dissociate for extended periods? I had a major triggering event last summer and the entire last year is a blur. It’s almost as if someone else lived my life for the past...10) Can mental illnesses ever be a choice? I often feel as if I have chosen my eating disorder, because when I was about 12 years old and really unhappy...Video version of episodes https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPYI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/BUSINESS EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110BBox #353  Austin, TX 78728PLEASE READIf you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/k Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pre-order your copy of Kati's new book TRAUMATIZED here:  https://geni.us/Bfak0jAudience questions Hi Kati, hope you're taking care of yourself. Can you talk about the boredom that comes with being okay? I've been experiencing extremes for so long, (manic/suicidal) that on the days/weeks where I'm more stable, I can't deal with the boredom of not having those extreme emotions, and often end up deliberately triggering myself to end the monotony... Hey Kati, do you have any tips on how to live for yourself and not for others? As a chronically suicidal person, the only reason I’m here is to keep other people happy. I don’t want help or to be alive, but I do. I constantly flip flop between this and was... Why is it there is such shame with sexual abuse/trauma? How can someone feel such shame and guilt about something that wasn’t their fault? (COMMENT: Hi Kati happy happy Thursday please answer How does a person know if they have any trauma because in my junior year of high a guy tried to take advantage of me  but also a lot... Do therapists sometimes provoke their clients into transference? My therapist says things like “if you were my daughter I would care how you felt and listen to what you have to say” and it makes me angry because she’s NOT my mom so it’s irrelevant. I’ve... I was wondering why it is so hard to accept trauma. Recently I realized I was sexually abused as a child and I keep trying to justify my fathers actions. I keep telling myself I’m just being dramatic or that my father “didn’t mean it that way.” Even when it was very... Hi Kati, I was wondering if you have any advice on how to discuss past sexual trauma in therapy. Do you really have to share and relive all the details in order to heal? I don't think I can say all those things out loud. I have come to realise that I was abused and repeatedly raped by an ex boyfriend.... My therapist has started to bring up that I’m doing better and the idea of ramping down therapy the last couple of sessions but every time he does it kinda freaks me out. Is this attachment or could it be the fear of losing my safety net? (COMMENT: Add on: my therapist is close to retirement age and it... Video version of episodes https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwKati's Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonONLINE THERAPY...  I do not currently offer online therapy.  BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimortonI receive a commission on referrals to BetterHelp.PATREON  https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter!video https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs58xfxPpjVARRuwjH8usfwaudio https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/BUSINESS EMAIL linnea@toneymedia.comMAIL1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110BBox #353  Austin, TX 78728PLEASE READIf you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices