Ask Kati Anything

"Why do narcissistic people believe their past trauma means..." | AKA ep. 99Guest: Lana Seiler, MSW, LCSW - Primary Therapist at APN LodgeLana is a licensed clinical social worker and primary therapist at APN Lodge. Lana places a high value on “holding space” for guests to process their experiences and begin to heal. She is a champion of holistic and scientific mental health and addiction treatment, helping clients fight for their development of a healthier view of themselves, others, and the world. Those hard-won results are her greatest reward.Addiction & Mental Health Treatment: If you are looking for an in-person treatment center that provides expert help with addiction recovery and mental health, All Points North Lodge is a great option. All Points North Lodge offers evidence-based and holistic treatment in the Colorado mountains. Chat with a member of their team at www.apnlodge.com/kati or call (218) 306-82141. Do therapists really not judge their clients? You guys are human too so I can’t see a reality where my therapist wouldn’t judge me in some way (she’s very kind btw, I’m not saying this based on any experience)...2. Why do narcissistic people believe their past trauma means their abusive patterns/behaviors towards others should be excused? Where do we draw the line between ending stigma and and allowing people to abuse, regardless of trauma/mental illness?3. What is the difference between empathy and codependency? I’ve been told I have both and was actually diagnosed with codependent personality traits. I know that I have a hard time separating my own emotions from others. I become extremely unsettled if I...4. How do you get yourself to believe it’s not your fault? I was sexually abused as a child, starting around age 7, and I know I am suppose to say it’s not my fault, my therapist tells me it’s not my fault and so do others but when it comes down to it I still have a hard time believing...5. Could you please explain the difference between borderline pd and dependent pd? I know both involve a fear of abandonment and attachment issues, but I am having trouble figuring out which disorder resonates with me more. I had an emotionally neglectful mum and...6. I'm struggling with the reparenting process. I was neglected or emotionally abused when I was a child and I understand that I have to give myself what my child version would have wanted and needed, but I don't feel like that's enough. Doing it myself helps, but I still feel like I want...#podcast #psychology #katimortonJournalingEvery Tuesday & Friday Kati posts a journal prompt to help keep you motivated and working on yourself  https://www.youtube.com/katimorton/join BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j  -  0rder Yours TodayAre u ok?    http://bit.ly/2s0mULy  - In Stores NowAmazon Suggestionshttps://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonDo you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)audio: https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business Contact  Linnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Mail1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B Box #353 Austin, TX 78728If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency roomSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything! Your mental health podcast with Kati Morton, LMFT episode 1001. What exactly are body memories? How do I know I have them, what do they feel like and what options are there to treat them? In your last podcast you were talking a lot about body memories and wondered whether you would share some more information about them. 2. I find I tend to wallow in negative thoughts when I am in bed, before I fall asleep. I go over old arguments, think about past events that upset me, and despair over things I dislike about myself. It can spiral into thoughts of suicide or self-harm fantasies. While I’m improving in many areas...3. Sometimes it seems like you answer the same kind of questions each week so here is a different question. Do you have any ideas why I feel the need to masturbate whenever I feel stressed or sad? I have noticed that I do this often but I never thought much of it until watching...4. Why do we invalidate ourselves? When talking with my therapist at my last appt she had made the comment when dealing with past trauma and I found my mind instantly putting up a block and wanting to say I don’t have trauma even though I know that’s what it is (CSA). Even with c-ptsd I...5. Can you talk about ‘Splitting’ in Borderline Personality Disorder vs Trauma Bonds? Is it harder for people with BPD to tell they’re in a trauma bond because they think it’s just their borderline acting up and making them view their partner badly? (Splitting). Are people with BPD...6. I am curious if having s*x that you don’t want but said yes to can be traumatizing. I have social phobia and was at that point not able to say “no” cause I was so scared. I think I dissociated a little while it happened. I couldn’t move, talk or feel my body while at the same time being in quite bad pain....7.  My question is related to trauma. Is it possible that my therapist is not having me process being raped because I am in the middle of an ongoing trauma with my daughter? Is it a bad idea to process things while they are still happening?  8. I’m in my late 20’s and I am just about to start studying in a course on mental health. I’m excited because I love learning and I am passionate about all things involving mental health, but I’m also terrified at the same time and I’m wondering if this is the right fit for me...9. In what way do you think mental illness affects a marriage most? More specifically, what is the best way to manage depression in a healthy marriage?BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j  -  0rder Yours TodayAre u ok?    http://bit.ly/2s0mULy  - In Stores NowAmazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimortonOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonDo you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business Contact  Linnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Mail1779 Wells Branch Pkwy #110B Box #353 Austin, TX 78728If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency roomSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On ep. 98 of Ask Kati Anything, Dr. Baland Jalal is our guest. He is a neuroscientist at Cambridge University and previously at Harvard University and considered one of the world's leading experts on sleep paralysis.  Can you have sleep paralysis in places other than your bed? A member of our community recently felt like she had this happen in a car.  What percentage of sleep disturbance is chemical or naturally formed and what percentage is trauma induced? What causes sleep paralysis? How can we get it to stop? Is sleep paralysis more common when you’re young? Why do many experience sleep paralysis most often right as they are falling asleep? How much sleep should someone get every night? 7 or 8 hours? Can SSRI’s or SNRI’s cause sleep paralysis? --------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything mental health podcast episode 97 Is it ok if I never want to stop going to therapy? It’s not an attachment thing, I just truly enjoy having a safe, neutral place to drop my baggage off every week… I think I’m a lifer… But is that a bad thing? My therapist recently told me for the first time that most of my relaxation methods have a self-injurious character. However, I don't intentionally self-injure, it tends to happen unconsciously (e.g., bath water too hot, etc.) and because of my issues with...  How can those of us who can’t remember our trauma feel validated? I feel like there are no communities for people like me who are scared and experience trauma responses but don’t have memories to talk about the trauma. I’ve been doing trauma work for years and my... I’m hoping I can keep this short… I was raised by verbally/emotionally abusive parents who raised me to fully believe that no one could possibly like me. They don’t even like me, and made that clear. I now struggle to believe in unconditional love, and therefore cannot give 100% of... You’ve talked about repressed memories but can you be traumatized from a situation you wouldn’t usually remember? Like for example if someone did something to you when you were sleeping? Or when you were a baby? Also, can you be traumatized from something that you thought was completely normal? Why do I dislike being 'healthy' so much? I've had to keep eating enough, instead of heavily restricting like I normally would, because of the physical demands of my jobs and staff shortages mean extra pressure to stay healthy. I'm frustrated I'm not as small as I normally am, and feel... How do I stop thinking about and missing my therapist? Ever since I terminated (she moved elsewhere), I still keep thinking about her. The therapeutic relationship was one of the closest and most consistent I've had. I'm an introvert, so it's hard to turn to friends and family... What do you do when thought stopping doesn’t seem to work anymore? What do you do when you know what you’re supposed to tell yourself but can’t get yourself to believe it? I’ve worked with a cbt therapist back many years ago to help with social anxiety and for the most part... How do you learn to feel safe expressing feelings? Because of abuse I feel it’s not safe to express emotions or needs. I also don’t feel worth someone caring about me. How do I get through this? --------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything mental health podcast episode 961. Hey Kati! How can I start to feel more comfortable sharing things with my therapist? I have been in therapy for a few months now and I still feel like I am holding back. I do trust her and want to be able to open up, but I...2. During session there are times when my therapist acknowledges and validates my emotions which I love but I have a hard time tolerating them. I either become very emotional because she has put words to them or...3. Any tips for nighttime anxiety? During the day, when I'm at work, I am fine. Virtually no anxiety. I don't know whether the anxiety is  truly less or, since I have a fast paced job, I simply don't notice it as much, but...4. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how aspects of our identity are impacted by therapy! I feel like a completely different person to the one who started therapy, and wondered if there’s any pattern to how...5. Is it normal to feel stressed around people who're fighting? When I hear someone arguing I suddenly start feeling uncomfortable and scared, as if I'm in danger. But in reality I know there's nothing that can happen to me...6. How do I deal with suicide as one of my intrusive thoughts? I’ve dealt with depression, but I’m not suicidal. One of my greatest fears in life is becoming suicidal, so naturally, I have intrusive thoughts about being...7. Why do so many people want to find reasons for why you are the way you are instead of just accepting you as you are? I was raped as a teenager, and I hate telling people this because they automatically think...8. I don’t know how to tell my new therapist about everything I’m struggling with, because it seems so overwhelming that I don’t know where to start. We did the initial appointment & although I didn’t have a problem opening up...9. HAPPY 2022 Kati, Sean and Roxy. I've been relapsing back into ED over Christmas. More purging, restricting etc. How can I break back out of the cycle before I get back in deep again? 10. I have a question about rational and irrational fear. In Summer I started my first year at uni and  while I was very aware of the potentially unhealthy stress I’d get into, (unfortunately I think nowadays that’s almost a given when you start studying), it doesn’t make stress, anxiety and worry any easier to deal with.--------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything mental health podcast episode 951. I’ve got a question about boundaries. Why am I testing the boundaries of my therapist? I don’t want to do it but it’s just happening and I get irritated at myself for doing it. Do you have any tips and do you get annoyed as a therapist when your client is testing your boundaries?2. I hope you’re doing well! How do I appreciate the happy moments where my depression disappears when all I can think in the back of my mind is ‘when will it get bad again’3. How can I stop idealizing my therapist?  I really idealize my therapist and keep telling my t how much I love her and how I never want her to leave me. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with it but my therapist seems so perfect to me even if I know on a rational level she isn´t but I´m so focused...4. I am in counseling for depression and anxiety. However, I find I have a strong reluctance around getting better. I think there are a variety of reasons - depression defines me, so without it I’m not sure who I am, and it gives me a lot of excuses as to why I’m not successful or more active. When I am...5. I am curious as to how you would prepare your clients/patients for when you were out of the office for a vacation or such? I mean, for those going in weekly, are there any tips that you provide for coping if a session cannot be held weekly? I have weekly sessions and the idea of not going in...6. I was wondering how to stop being sick on the day of therapy? It can be hours after and I’ll be sick every time without fail. I don’t think things are going too fast but I’m now getting nauseous when very anxious too. I don’t know why this keeps happening? I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis for ptsd by the way. Thank you for all that you do7. How do we move past our trauma when we have to return to it? I had a very traumatizing experience at college over a year ago, and I had to withdraw from school this year after trying to return because it was too overwhelming. I feel like I can’t return to my dream school because of...8. I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I'm wondering how does one not get so dependent on their FP (favorite person). I'm very dependent on this person. Whenever they are in a bad mood or upset it makes me in a bad mood or upset.9. Could you talk more about the less common symptoms of OCD? I will re-do things if it doesn’t “feel right” or have to touch the surface of everything before I place anything down. I find myself not being able to NOT do it. Sometimes I don’t even know what the “obsession” would...10. I was wondering about thoughts of self harm. I got really focused on an object. I wanted to buy it. I didn’t hurt myself but I really wanted to. Now I feel shitty. Like I fell and can not get back up. How can I feel better when situations like this keep happening to me...BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep 93Audience questions:1. Why do I feel like a child even though I am an adult? I am 32, I have a career, a partner and I am living a responsible adult life. But I feel like a child. Whenever I am subjected to ‘adult’ topics, like alcohol, sex etc. I catch myself thinking that those things are for adults only and I am still too...2.  How do I get over the feeling of not deserving to be in therapy and to get help/better? Part of me knows that I do need the help because inside I feel like a mess but outwardly I appear fine and fully functional, so every time I go, I start to feel like don't deserve to be there, and that I am just...3. I’ve noticed that lots of times after a therapy session, my brain turns to mush. I keep having those ‘uhhhh….’ moments where you know what the answer is but it’s just not coming to you. Like, it’s on the tip of your tongue but just out of reach. I keep blanking on really simple things. Should I...4. I was wondering if therapists change their body positions for a reason/purpose, like to help the patient/client feel more at ease. Recently, my therapist has started sitting and moving in ways that are "less professional" like resting her head on her hand or turning to one side and leaning against...5. Is closure a necessary part of healing a childhood trauma or is it better to not pursue it since it might backfire on the person? For example, I was bullied when I was a child and I still live close to that bully. That bully’s not tormenting me physically anymore, but from time to time, I still...6. May you please talk about how and why such small or short term things can have a deep, lasting impact on us? Why is it that little things like the way a parent spoke to/about me can hurt more than the physical aspect of things? Further I was at a highly competitive school for a year...7.  How would you tell if you're being manipulated? Every time I have arguments with my mum, I find that she mixes in truths with her own emotions, and I end up really confused. Was I truly selfish for not understanding her better and seeing things from her perspective?8. Greetings from Finland!  My question is about why my voice turns into a little child in therapy.  It’s barely audible and I want to sit in the corner during therapy and I sometimes do because it feels safe.  I can’t look at my therapist and I feel so young and little.  I don’t want to act this way...9. I have had symptoms of OCD since I was like 5 years old. How come OCD symptoms (intrusive thoughts, compulsions) get worse over time? --------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything episode 94Audience questions:1. Hey Kati, why is accepting any sort of praise or compliments so hard for me to do? I genuinely do appreciate them, but I don't know if it's that I don't believe they are true and don't deserve it, or if I just don't like the attention...2. Is there a way to tell the difference between real memories and things imagined in your dreams? Sometimes I need to imagine bad things happening to me to fall asleep. I don't want these things to actually...3. Can you talk about passive suicidal ideation? Also, how is it that I encourage/support the fight to live for others but I can’t seem to provide that same thought for me? I just recently lost an immediate family member back in August due to...4. I’ve always wanted to be a therapist or a counselor, but I have one big issue with that: I get frustrated when people don’t see what’s right in front of them! Which is basically what therapy is all about: Gently nudging...5. Have you had any clients explore their sexuality with you? If so, what did the process look like? I know I’m maybe interested in doing more work with that, but I’m also hesitant. What if I find out it’s not something I want ? 6. Recently we've started inner child work in therapy. I don't know if there's a universal way of doing this, but my therapist likes to work with an empty chair that represents my younger self. Sometimes he asks me to talk to my inner child who is...7. I was wondering how do you push past the therapy hangover? I find that after sessions I tend to stay in my head a little too much lately to the point that it usually wastes the day. Sometimes it’s replaying parts of the...8. I loved your last conversation about shame. I was wondering if you could talk more about what I think could be called “chronic shame” and how to break through it with your therapist? Much love from Scandinavia.9. Why does treatment sometimes make us worse? I’ve been in PHP and inpatient. Both of them made my mental health so much worse. I know other’s who constantly cycle through. They get discharged and end up back in the hospital....--------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything podcast episode 92 Hi, Kati! Is it possible to not be traumatized by something that is clearly traumatic to other people or are you just denying that you are? My parents were kidnapped and held at gunpoint when... Hi Kati, can you go into emotional trauma a little more? I experience all of the symptoms of emotional trauma but my parents were always there if I needed them, including if I ever asked they would support me emotionally and give advice. They ... Hey Kati, How do I handle not taking people "worrying" about me seriously? For example, in my last therapy session, towards the end, my therapist told me I can always call or email him if I need someone to talk to. He probably offered that because  Hi Kati, could you please tell us more about how you experienced each of your different roles as a psychologist throughout your career? When you were at the ED clinic, private psychotherapist, and now a youtuber? And how do you look at those ... Hi Kati! Where's the line between normal amounts of anxiety and too much/unhealthy anxiety? I recently graduated from grad school and am now moving to a new state across the country to start my new job in a few weeks. I feel like I’ve always been a ... Hi Kati! I’ve been seeing my therapist for over two years now and she is truly great, however ever since our first session I’m behaving extremely shy as If I only met her recently. I’m for sure not the most confident person to exist (I’ve been struggling with .... I have BPD and suffered years of narcissistic abuse at the hands of family, ex friends and partners. Some people believe that I have no right to talk about my experiences with narcissistic abuse because of the BPD. What are your thoughts on this, as well as ... Hi Kati, lately I've been freaking out going to Dr appts. I'm a chronic illness pt and have had 4 surgeries in less than 2yrs. I've always been uncomfortable going to Drs but now it's really bad, like panic attack scary. I'm seeing a therapist for anxiety, depression, ... Is it possible to not remember a trauma correctly or even all the details like any of your senses? I was a teen when I was forced to talk about a trauma and was trying to piece together what it all meant with what I was remembering but mostly the .... --------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business ContactLinnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything podcast episode 91Today's guest is Jason Thompson a a certified EMT-P and trained in TMS for Brainsway and Nuerostar. Since 2004, he has working in a variety of healthcare settings such as an EMT and Director of Neuromodulation in Texas Jason Thompson brings his passion for healing and educating to his role as Director of Deep TMS and Hyperbaric Services at All Points North Lodge. He loves educating and treating clients with newer technologies and guiding them through the healing process with a holistic approach.Addiction & Mental Health Treatment: If you are looking for an in-person treatment center that provides expert help with addiction recovery and mental health, All Points North Lodge is a great option. All Points North Lodge offers evidence-based and holistic treatment in the Colorado mountains. Chat with a member of their team at www.apnlodge.com/kati or call (218) 306-8214Audience questions:1) Hi Kati, my therapist recommended that I try a brainwave treatment for my depression/ anxiety. She said in most cases it really helps. I would love to hear more about it and the pros and cons :) Thank you!2)  Can you talk more about TMS? Is it meant to complement traditional talk therapy or can it be done on its own? Where I live, only 1 private clinic provides this treatment option so it feels risky (since it's not used by many) and I'm not sure if the price is justified. When should I consider this alternative (trauma/dissociation)? Thank you so much3) I am very interested in understanding more about the benefits of trauma yoga.  I have also heard that singing can have similar benefits.  Why is this?  I have C-PTSD and I'll do anything to improve my situation (which is very very very bad at the moment).   Could you discuss this more? 4) Hi Kati! How do you know if you still need therapy or if you’re just overly attached to your therapist? I know you’ve talked about this before but I’m still confused! I love my therapist and we’ve done amazing ...5) How do I get over the fear of opening up to my therapist about things I’m not sure are actually traumatic? I feel like I’ve built up this anticipation to my therapist about things I’m “not ready to talk about yet” and the longer the wait, the more anxious I...6) Hey Kati and guest! When do I know if something that happened really was a "trauma" ? When I grew up I was (and still am) around this guy who trains horses and he is alot older than me (I was 14 at the time and he was 60). He was a real...--------------BooksTraumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0jAre u ok?  http://bit.ly/2s0mULyOnline TherapyI do not currently offer online therapy.  My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/katiPatreonHelp support the creation of mental health content? https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/Opinions That Don't Matter! (my afterhours podcast)https://opionstdm.buzzsprout.com/Business Contact Linnea Toney  linnea@underscoretalent.com Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/katimorton) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices