Ask Kati Anything

This week Kati talks about binge eating disorder (BED). She discusses the link between BED and childhood trauma, why there’s a connection between a mother’s love and our relationship with food, and the difference between BED and appetite changes associated with other mental illnesses. She also explains why forgetting to eat is not the same as an eating disorder, how we can reduce cravings, and how to get over any guilt associated with a binge. She also shares why parentification can make it hard for us to want to be an adult, why binge eating, food addiction, and overeating are the same thing, and whether or not medications for BED are actually helpful. This and much more in this week’s podcast! Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist, each week she answers mental health questions from her audience.    Ask Kati Anything ep. 130 | Your mental health podcast, with Licensed Therapist,  Kati Morton   Audience questions:  1. I would like to know more about the connection between (B)ED and childhood trauma, because it seems that that topic isn't talked about enough. Why do we choose to cope with food rather than anything else and is there really a connection between mother's love and our relationship with food throughout our lives?   2. Can you explain the difference(s) between a binge eating disorder and the appetite changes associated with anxiety and depression? Sometimes I skip meals due to my anxiety, either because I get stuck in my head and forget that I need food or I feel too nauseous to eat, but then it usually results in a binge eating session afterwards because I’ve essentially starved myself. I know...   3. I have a question about eating disorders, but not related to body image or calories or anything. It’s more just… disordered eating? I forget to eat a meal, and then my OCD says it’s too late for whatever meal, so then I have to wait for the next meal time. Except this happens every single day. I’m not sure if this counts as an eating disorder? It’s very confusing for me. I want to eat the right amounts per day, I just can’t for some reason...   4. How does one reduce cravings? Also, can one embark on their own treatment for binge eating, as opposed to seeking professional help? If so, where does one start?   5. What is the difference between binge eating and just over eating? I’m pretty sure I struggle with binge eating but my psychiatrist has asked me if I’m binging or just over eating and honestly I don't really know how to tell the difference. Thanks for everything you do.   6. This might not be related to this week's theme but I hope you consider answering it! I feel like I just woke up now and realized that I’ve wasted my childhood/ teenage years by not being a child or a teenager. Now, I’ve reached to the point where I don’t want to grow up and ‘time’ scares me...   7. Hi Kati, I struggle with binge eating. My psychiatrist has recommended a drug that is used for opioid addiction that should take away the pleasure I get from eating. What other options do I have?   8. What is the difference between a binge eating disorder and a food addiction? I feel like sugar is my kryptonite. Also I am picky, lactose intolerant and acidic foods aggravate an overactive bladder condition. So I feel like I can't easily avoid sugar. I suspect I have a binge eating disorder and that it...   9. How can I deal with the guilt that I experience after a binge? I used to purge, (I don’t anymore) and that was usually my unhealthy way of getting rid of the guilt I felt from eating too much. but now when I binge, I’m left feeling terrible and it makes me want to self-harm. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast delves into the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder, discussing its origins, signs, and the challenges individuals with NPD face. It also explores tips for managing mental health while moving back in with family, setting boundaries, and overcoming toxic family dynamics. The discussion highlights the importance of seeking therapy, processing trauma, and navigating relationships with narcissists and sociopaths.

This week Kati talks about the ripple effects of being a parentified child, and how that can leave us wanting to not become an adult. She also addresses recovery after a suicide attempt, major life decisions and our mental health, and whether or not we can trust repressed trauma memories. She also explains dissociation, processing trauma when therapy was what traumatized us, and touch aversion in autism and relationships. Finally, Kati discusses whether or not attachment and intimacy issues can be self inflicted, how to get out of a marital rut, and whether or not mental illness is a choice. Hopefully some of her insights and thoughts on these issues are helpful in your own life journey! Ask Kati Anything ep. 128 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. How do adults who suffered childhood emotional neglect, abuse and parentification deal with being an adult, taking responsibility and being self-reliant, things that are potentially triggering and throw you back into childhood patterns? It feels like taking responsibility and being self-reliant was... 2. Could you talk about recovery after a suicide attempt please? Even if you are glad you survived, all the factors in your life that caused you to get to that point still exist so how is it possible to get better? Especially since it seems impossible to tell anyone about what happened... 3. I am wondering how do you make major life decisions that impact your future while you’re struggling to take care of your mental health in the present? For my specific example, how do I know if staying in university is worth my rapidly declining mental health? I have been taking my... 4. I hope your day is going great. My question is about repressed trauma memories. How can we tell if they are real or not? For context, I have a very strong imagination and tend to imagine myself in bad situations, or make up scenarios where bad things happened to me as a... 5. I want to ask about dissociation during sexual assault! I was sexually assaulted by my brother years ago. He was 1 year younger than me.. I was sleeping and had a freeze response (I was 15) and didn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t even know that I know:), he didn’t do it again, but he... 6. I am autistic and sometimes worry about how my sensitivity to touch could potentially affect future intimate relationships. I have never dated anyone and question if it’s okay to engage in intimate acts despite not really desiring sex just to please your partner. Are there any damaging... 7. Can attachment/intimacy issues be unintentionally self-inflicted? Why or why not, and what would the healing process be? My parents are great and I feel genuinely blessed to have them, but I get angry when they offer any kind affection, attention or show concern for me in any way. This... 8. I feel like I’m in such a rut with my husband. I’m by no means a short tempered person, but lately my fuse is nonexistent. We’ve been financially secure until recently when the prices of everything skyrocketed. We no longer have funds to do things or go places... 9. How do I begin to heal from a trauma when it was therapy itself that was traumatizing? In January, after an involuntarily hospitalization that shouldn't have happened (was never suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic) I was given a BPD diagnosis (despite having no history of active suicidality, self harm, or anger issues, due to CPTSD not being in the DSM) and "dumped" by... 10. Where is the line between mental illness and choice? We can't choose what happens to us, but we are reminded over and over that we can choose how we respond to what happens to us, that we can choose our attitude and choose our behaviors. If this is true, then isn't my "mental illness"... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about processing trauma in an unsafe environment, how she navigates therapy when a patient can’t talk or stay present in session, and how trauma can manifest in the body. She also discusses attachment issues, when a mental illness becomes a disability, and why some symptoms seem to lessen when others get worse. Finally, she talks about eating disorder development, relapses in ED recovery, who deserves therapy, and how to get over a breakup. Tangents and tools galore in this week’s episode!    Ask Kati Anything ep. 127 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   Audience questions:   1. I know it's impossible to process trauma while still in an unsafe environment (i.e. still living at home, bullying at work, people dying just to name a few) and my therapist decided to put a pause on any processing type work. She said she wants to stabilize me for the next couple of years...   2. Do you have any therapist strategies on how you would navigate a patient that struggles to speak in sessions? I struggle making eye contact and speaking with my T on triggering topics - generally I shut-down/dissociate. I tend to write in session, which has been...   3. Is it possible that trauma manifests in the body? I was physically and sexually attacked by a guy while i was running and since then my legs go numb when I go for a run (which is very unfortunate, as running is my preferred coping mechanism for depression). I've been to several...   4. I tend to attach to older females in my life, including my therapist, but I have a mom who is very supportive and loving. We have a good relationship, but I never really open up to her about anything that I’m going through. not because she doesn’t want me to- I just don’t feel...   5. When is ptsd/mental illness considered disabling? Is there a set of qualifications that therapists use to determine that or is it very case specific? (COMMENT: As an add on: Are there some mental illnesses that are considered disabilities and others that aren't? I have been told that my ptsd is...   6. I have noticed that as soon as I get one symptom under control, other symptoms get stronger. For example, one of my symptoms is that I generally have trouble keeping my apartment tidy because my depression tells me that I don't deserve a nice apartment. In the last week...   7. Is it possible to knowingly develop a restrictive eating disorder in a week? I have had body image issues off/on my whole life (I’m 27), but always told myself that I “don’t have enough willpower” to develop an ED. I recently told my therapist that I unintentionally hadn’t eaten very much that...   8. How do I recover for myself, instead of for others? I thought that I had realized that I cannot recover for anyone except myself, but when my therapist went on vacation for two weeks (during a time when I have been going through immense transitions, including a new job, an apartment move, mom being in the hospital, etc.) I found that my ED (which had been sort of 'in remission') came back full force...   9. Hi Kati! I really enjoy your podcasts and your approach to explaining issues. I'm a (relatively) healthy 62 yo divorced man, with dead parents and grown children. I still work full time, but personally my friend pool has diminished considerably, and I spend a lot of time alone...   10. How can I move on and stop obsessing over someone who dumped me? While we were dating everything felt so nice and mutual till slowly he became distant and then ended things. I loved his personality and our connection felt... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.126 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   Synopsis:   In this week’s episode Kati discusses why we can feel emotions in our body but not recognize them in our mind. She also talks about how to be our real selves when in therapy, what unconditional positive regard is, and how much self-disclosure we should expect from our therapist. She digs into passive suicidality and how to tell our therapist about it, and whether or not she thinks it’s part of having an eating disorder. She explains why we may act childlike in therapy and why it may be hard to let ourselves be happy. Finally, she shares her biggest learning in her own therapy, and what we can do to stop our ED from turning into a different one.    AUDIENCE QUESTIONS  1. Why is it that my body reacts in a way as if I am feeling a certain emotion, but my brain doesn’t necessarily “feel” the emotion? My body will physically react as if there is a certain emotion, but I don’t really “feel” the emotion...   2. How do I allow myself to “be real” in therapy? Whenever I walk in, I have a hard time sharing how I'm feeling and I immediately forget what has been on my mind / what has happened that week. I also constantly think I am making up my problems, am being too dramatic, or her other patients...   3. Just thought it would be a different experience to ask you a question about yourself as you always kindly offer so much help and advice to us. My question is I know you've mentioned before about you accessing therapy yourself in the past. I wondered what you have learnt most about yourself from therapy?    4. I have questions about passive suicidality. I believe that’s what this is called but not fully sure and what really do you do to deal with it? I was at a point a long time ago that I was done and ready to leave but ended up finding out I was pregnant and from that point forward it wasn’t an option...   5. Why can't I allow myself to be happy? I want to enjoy life, but enjoying it feels wrong? It's not necessarily that I feel like I don't deserve to be happy, but I just can't let myself live the life I want to live, and I constantly sabotage my happiness.   6. I hope you’re doing well and I hope that my question makes sense. I have been going to therapy for about 5 months now and have finally slowly managed to be able to get to a point where I can feel more relaxed and able to begin to process my traumas (CSA, emotional neglect, Physical abuse to name a few) without...   7. Is it normal to feel more child-like in therapy? And do therapists encourage this? I don't see my therapist as a caregiver (I'm still not 100% comfortable with my therapist yet) but each time I'm in therapy, I feel myself kind of "switch". And I stop functioning as an adult. Instead I watch myself do...   8. My question is how much self-disclosure from a therapist is normal? My therapist talks sometimes in detail sometimes not about her own life in just about every session, she's talked about her trauma's, abusive people in her life she cut out and about stuff that's stressing her out like...   9. How can one best ensure that while recovering from one ED, one doesn’t slip into another? (Example from Anorexia to BED or bulimia) (COMMENT: And could you talk about being at a higher normal weight or being overweight in the context of EDs? I feel like it is not often talked about and getting the diagnosis kind of triggered me because I thought that I was not ill enough to... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kati talks about addiction and why it’s a coping skill for past trauma, as well as how we can stop laughing off or minimizing our traumatic experiences. She also offers healthy coping skills we can use when we are dysregulated and exhausted, and explains the differences between emotional incest and being a parentified child. She discusses why it could be hard for us to disagree with our therapist, why our emotions are important, how to figure out our next steps in life, and why physical punishment from a parent is considered abuse. *****    My LIVE Inner Child Workshop: https://katimorton.com/the-shop/p/live-innerchild-workshop Join me for a 2-part, livestreaming event that includes worksheets and audience Q&A sessions.  Aug 12th and 19th 2-4pm EST / 11-1pm PST See you there! ***** Audience questions:   Could you talk about addiction as a coping skill for trauma please? I was abused as a kid and teenager and have struggled with addictions since I was 14 years old. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, social media, exercise and eating disorders (I know, they aren't addictions but for me they are similar coping skills)....  I’m wondering what is the best thing to do when you are dysregulated but too tired to use healthy coping skills.  I find that in order to use them I have to have a lot of mental energy and sometimes I’m just too worn out to do the “right” thing. Lots of love from Italy  I hope you’re doing well. How do I teach myself to stop laughing off my traumas in therapy? I have a habit of smiling, laughing, and joking about difficult things I’ve experienced, and I feel like sometimes I don’t let my therapist know how much I’m really struggling and falling apart...   I notice that it’s super hard for me to disagree with my therapist. Often when he says stuff I disagree with, I only notice it after the session. I always feel the need to agree to whatever he says, as he’s older and more experienced because of his age and profession. I don’t usually...   Could you explain what the difference is between emotional incest and parentification? (there is a lot of overlap.. But emotional incest has to do with them sharing things with you about themselves or what they are going through. And parentification is when...   I was wondering if you could talk about the reasons why emotions are important? I started therapy last year and my therapist talked about distress tolerance and we were working on building up coping skills but one thing we did was try and realize why the emotions we have...   I was just wondering how you figure out what next step in your life is right for you? I find it difficult to decide where I want to go, what I should be doing, what is right for me alongside the guilt of what if I make the wrong decision. For context if it's relevant I'm currently ...   Do you think physical punishment can be traumatic? I‘m wondering because it seems to affect me in my fear of men, hypervigilance and always walking on eggshells. The “punishment“ wasn't always related to what we had done, but rather to his stress/ anger levels. He‘d get out of control, scream, threaten, spank and sometimes kick us.... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.124 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT  In this week’s episode Kati discusses whether our eating disorder voice ever goes away completely, the different levels of ED treatment, and how intuitive eating works. She also addresses child on child sexual abuse and how to heal when the perpetrator was the same age as the victim, and talks about accepting a new diagnosis. Kati also explains how trauma treatment works if we can’t remember much (or any) of our trauma, and if you can do EMDR incorrectly, and what an appointment with a psychiatrist looks like. Hope it’s helpful!    Audience questions:  In your experience, do your clients’ “eating disorder voice” ever completely go away? For context, I used to have anorexia but am now weight restored. Although I consider myself much happier in a healthy body (more energy, better sleep, etc.), I still find myself occupied with disordered thoughts...   Can you talk about child sexual abuse when both the victim and abuser are the same age? I just started therapy after being diagnosed with a number of issues - OCD (since early childhood), depression, chronic anxiety (that gets worse around people), fearful avoidant attachment and fear...   My therapist diagnosed me with depression but I'm struggling to accept it. I know I probably have an anxiety disorder, and possibly a personality disorder or even something like ADHD, but when all she ever lands on is "depression" it offends me. My pain is valid; situations in my past led up to me...   What are possible therapy options for those of us who can't remember our trauma? Are there ways to support the recovery of memories? I can't remember my first twenty years of life and to be honest and truthful I can't imagine being able to heal completely if I don't know what happened in...   I am curious about the treatment and levels of care with EDs. What are the different levels of care, and at what point is each level necessary? What does treatment look like for each one? Thank you!    I feel like I am doing EMDR wrong. I have been in therapy for over two years, ever since discovering that my husband was having a year-long affair with my best friend. (He’s now my ex-husband, by the way, and I realize that my friend was never actually a friend). I’ve been working on...   You’ve talked about eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. But how do you really know when you’re hungry and when you’re full? I’ve tried this, and I think when I’m in a restrictive mindset I’ll lie to myself and say I’m not hungry when I actually am, and when I’m in a binging mindset...   I've been referred to a psychiatrist and I don't really know what to expect. I'm quite nervous as the assessor who referred me said they think maybe autism, which I just didn't see coming. Now I feel conscious about acting a certain way to confirm or reject this. I've been struggling more since...      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.123 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions Does anyone else feel more comfortable talking about their mental health struggles in their non-native language? I’m relatively comfortable talking about my struggles with anxiety in English. However, in my native language (German) I’m so uncomfortable, I often shut down and just don’t... Can you please talk about how to treat anxiety when you are prone to making everything worse due to your anxiety? E.g. when you are worried about performing badly, but then your anxiety makes you so dizzy that you perform badly. Or when you are worried about not getting a point... Why do I miss my depressive and/or suicidal thoughts when I don't feel them for a bit? When I do feel these feelings, all I want is for them to pass, but when they do actually pass, I feel nostalgic and want them to come back.... I honestly don't understand why I could want to feel that way. What can we do when we have trauma symptoms but the living situation we are in doesn't actually feel safe and escaping it seems pretty much impossible? Among poverty, being part of a minority, and having health issues, life just doesn't feel safe. I constantly worry that I might need money for... I was wondering why isn’t there more info specifically on sibling sexual abuse. The little I find they even say that the info available is limited because it is such a taboo topic but yet more common than many know. I was abused by my older brother, we are only a few years apart, but it went on... My question is about the whys of self harm I suppose. I remember coming across self harm (in a book and then in an older school girls scars) and I can still feel the click into place that happened for me. It would be years before I ever used self harm. But what made it attractive before it was... Could you talk more about healthy boundaries? I’ve always struggled with establishing them and I’m working on it now. However, I feel like my new boundaries are too strict and I am now living by some set of rules that controls my life instead of me controlling the boundaries. I’ve heard that... How can I let go of my perfectionist attitude and still feel like who I am and what I do is enough? In today’s world this is even harder as there are so many opportunities for comparisons and expectations seem to just increase. I find myself constantly measuring myself against something... Kati's books:    Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Contact YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton   &   https://www.youtube.com/OpinionsThatDontMatter TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Twitter https://twitter.com/KatiMorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1 Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep.122 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT   Audience questions I'm so scared of being a bad patient that I overanalyze everything and anything about my therapy sessions and even things I do outside of therapy. I always think about what my therapist would say about what I'm doing...   I was wondering if you had any advice on how to enter into intimacy as a sexual abuse survivor? I find myself terrified at the idea of ever having sex. However, I also find myself having a difficult time holding my partner's hand. I thought...   Are some people just too damaged by trauma to heal? My therapist told me that might be the case for me, and that I need to learn to live with it. This was after telling her that I was having a rough patch and was feeling suicidal, and was quite frankly devastating to hear. I thought the problem was that I...   How do you get yourself to a place where you are able to talk about certain topics in therapy? I have been in and out of therapy my whole life and I’m now seeing a therapist that I really like and trust. I’ve been able to open up about many difficult topics, but I can’t get myself to bring up my long history of medical trauma...   How do you cope between therapists? My old therapist left, but because of wait lists it will be awhile before I can see someone new. I am struggling, including with suicidal ideation, and don't have much social support so I...   I’m on a waiting list for a new therapist. I’m really struggling at the minute. I'm not sure how long I can keep waiting but I also don’t feel like it’s bad enough for crisis support. Do you have any advice for someone who’s in limbo waiting for treatment but isn’t able to cope whilst they’re...   Can help explain the concept of nonverbal sexual consent. I always thought consent had to be explicit and verbal and that it had to be done in that way prior to progressing to the next step (and of course that the other person couldn't be coerced or otherwise unable to consent). While I still think this is the very best way to handle consent, I was...   Is there such a thing as too many diagnoses? I deal with PTSD, DID, OCD, Bipolar 1, Body dysmorphia, and potentially even atypical anorexia, but I feel this sense of guilt with having been diagnosed with so many things as I feel as though it may make me less likely to be believed and... Kati's Books:   Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Contact YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton   &   https://www.youtube.com/OpinionsThatDontMatter TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Twitter https://twitter.com/KatiMorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1 Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything ep. 121 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT  Audience questions:   How do you calm yourself down when you're anxious? I have done therapy in the past and was given some tools to try, but they never worked and often just made things worse. For example, I...   I was wondering why my therapist never tries to find the root of my problems in therapy. I have anorexia, bpd traits (all of the criteria but I'm a teen), depression, anxiety, and severe dissociation that has impeded...   Can you please talk about microaggressions and how to deal with them? Especially when you're already a quiet, shy or socially anxious person? How do you manage to be confident in social settings when.   I have been going to therapy for about 3 months and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. I've been uncovering past trauma, physical and emotional abuse. Also, I've always been the parentified child who only cares for others and not for myself. I've been bottling my emotions...   My question is how do you know what to work on in therapy when it seems like there are just too many big things you need to work through? I’ve been focusing on certain issues lately because they are more recent or time sensitive, but I also have a lifetime of trauma...   How do you find the balance between pushing through the anxiety to do new things without getting too overwhelmed? I used to be the type of person who would let my anxiety get in the way of exciting things and...   How do you take care of yourself when you're dissociated/depersonalized? When the body is separate from me and I don't feel hunger or pain, when it feels like a stranger and I can't bring myself to...   Hi Kati! I love your channel and have been watching since the beginning. You’re a distant part of my healing journey, so thank you for all that you do. I was wondering what is a good reason for your therapist to terminate care? I had a therapist when I was in rehab who still saw me in between stays, as she also works outpatient. I was hospitalized and discharged from rehab due to... Kati's Books:   Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j      Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy  While I do not currently offer online therapy, my sponsor Betterhelp will connect you with a licensed, online counselor. VISIT https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.patreon.com/katimorton Amazon Suggestions https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Contact YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton   &   https://www.youtube.com/OpinionsThatDontMatter TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Twitter https://twitter.com/KatiMorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1 Business Contact  Linnea Toney   linnea@underscoretalent.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices