"How can I deal with my attachment issues?" ep.114

Ask Kati Anything - your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

This episode focuses on Attachment & BPD

Audience questions: 

1. I hear you talk about reparenting in order to deal with attachment issues a lot. My therapist wants to try this with me but somehow I feel very repulsed and almost angry when I think about this idea. I know, it's childish, but I don't want to do this myself. I want so bad for some other person to fill this parenting-hole and just having to care for myself, which is pretty much what I had to do all my life, just seems so unsatisfying. Are there other ways to deal with attachment issues from childhood abuse/neglect?  
2. Is it possible to "fake" mental health problems and trauma responses? I was neglected as a child and now I find myself wanting to feel bad and making myself feel bad (or look bad) just so that my therapist sees it. I am also overly attached to him. Maybe I am just devalidating my traumas, but I sometimes feel like I am exaggerating my reactions to it because I don't think they were that...
3. Can you talk more about quiet BPD? Most videos I see online are about the outward expressions of BPD rather than those who turn those actions inward towards themself. What are some examples of quiet BPD and how could someone share what they’re experiencing with their therapist when most characterize BPD by those stereotypical outward actions/responses? 
4. I was diagnosed with CPTSD a year and a half ago. I have been told by my primary and secondary therapist, along with 2 other MH professionals that it’s not BPD. I have been self diagnosing because I have fear of abandonment, which my therapists know. I experienced emotional abuse, emotional neglect, and have memories of physical abandonment. Is it possible to have fear of abandonment...  
5. When I was in therapy I would go through phases of feeling like pushing my therapist away and then feeling secure with her. I would tell her when I felt like pushing her away and she would reassure me that she would be there. I would then feel secure in the therapeutic relationship for a period of time...  
6. Would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the heard and Depp trial in relation to the bpd / personality disorder diagnosis (only that - everyone can sit with their own thoughts on the trial as it plays out in public opinion but no hate or blame here please, it has the potential to do damage). I am shocked a professional can diagnose like that, considering how long many spend trying to get a diagnosis, and saddened to see a professional run with 'bpd stigmas / stereotypes in such a public trial...
7. Would a therapist or psychiatrist ever hide a bpd diagnosis from a client/ patient? What would be the reasoning if so? When I had a case manager she said I had bpd (it was in my records not her diagnosis), but my psychiatrist never told me about it.  
8. I was wondering if you had tips for a long distance relationship with someone with BPD. Thank you! (Others in the community, if you have tips too I’d love to hear them!)

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