Embracing Intensity

The importance of neurodivergent community Neurodivergent individuals are those who think, process information, and experience the world in ways that differ from the neurotypical (i.e., not neurodivergent) population. The neurodiversity movement advocates for the recognition and celebration of neurodiversity as a natural and valuable form of human diversity, similar to cultural, racial, or gender diversity. Neurodivergence is an important facet of the human race. It seeks to create a more inclusive and accepting society for neurodivergent people. Finding neurodivergent community can play a crucial role in connecting with other like-minded folks. There are many different ways to be neurodivergent, and neurodivergent people may have unique ways of perceiving, learning, communicating, and interacting with the world. Neurodivergence can affect various brain functions such as attention, memory, and executive function, and can manifest in neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and more. These neurodevelopmental differences can also provide unique perspectives that can lead to creative problem-solving. Dominant societal standards have traditionally prioritized neurotypical values and perceptions, which can often leave out the rich perspectives of what neurodivergent people experience. The diversity of human brains and the ways in which they function can lead to new ideas and perspectives that can benefit society as a whole. By fostering an environment that is inclusive and accepting of neurodiversity, we can tap into the unique abilities and potential of neurodivergent people and create a more diverse and innovative society. Building a solid neurodiversity network can help others connect over their common traits, and explore their own style of neurocognitive functioning. Finding neurodivergent community The Embracing Intensity Community is a supportive online space for gifted, creative, and neurodivergent individuals. It is a place where members can connect with others who share similar experiences and challenges, and find support and understanding. The community is designed to provide a safe and welcoming environment where members can discuss their unique perspectives, share their insights and skills, and explore their full potential. The goal of the Embracing Intensity Community is to empower gifted, creative, and neurodivergent individuals to embrace their intensity and to live fulfilling and meaningful lives. Other neurodivergent community resources There are a number of other ways that neurodivergent adults can find and connect with their neurodivergent community. Some options include: Online communities and forums: There are many online groups and forums specifically for neurodivergent people, where individuals can connect with others who share common experiences and challenges. Local support groups: Many cities and towns have support groups for neurodivergent people and their families. These groups can provide a sense of belonging, as well as practical advice and resources for navigating daily life as a neurodivergent person. Neurodiversity-focused events: There are often events and conferences focused on neurodiversity and the neurodiversity movement, where neurodivergent individuals can meet and connect with others. Professional organizations: There are professional organizations that advocate for and support neurodivergent individuals, such as CHADD, the Neurodiversity Project and the Dyslexia Foundation. You can also find local resources in many areas. College campuses: Colleges and Universities often have groups not only for neurodivergent students, but events for the larger community surrounding the school. By finding and connecting with other neurodivergent people, individuals can find support, validation, and a sense of belonging. Neurodivergent people may also be able to share their experiences and offer insights and advice to others. Additionally, the neurodiversity movement promotes greater understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent people within society, which can help create a more inclusive and equitable world for all. Neurodiversity advocates Neurodiversity advocates play an important role in promoting the acceptance and celebration of neurodevelopment differences and the unique ways in which people experience and perceive the world. They often share their personal experiences as neurodivergent individuals and work to educate others about the concept of neurodiversity. They may also work to highlight the strengths and abilities of neurodiverse people, as well as the challenges they face. By sharing stories and experiences, neurodiversity advocates can help to build understanding and acceptance of neurodivergent individuals within society. The neurodiversity movement is often seen as a social justice movement, as it seeks to create a more inclusive and equitable society for neurodivergent people. Neurodiversity advocates work to raise awareness about the infinite variation in the way people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world. One of the key roles of neurodiversity advocates is to connect neurodivergent individuals with the various neurodiversity resources that are available. This may include information about support groups, educational resources, and professional organizations that can help neurodiverse individuals navigate their daily lives and achieve their goals. In addition to advocating for neurodiversity within society, neurodiversity advocates may also work to build strong and supportive social relationships within the neurodivergent community. By connecting with others who share common experiences, neurodivergent individuals can find support, validation, and a sense of belonging. Overall, the role of neurodiversity advocates is to promote understanding, acceptance, and celebration of the unique ways in which people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world. By doing so, they help to create a more inclusive and equitable society for all. About Marc Marc Almodovar is a neurodiversity advocate, and the cofounder of the ADHD Men’s Support Group, a group specifically for men who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Marc founded the group after his own personal experience with ADHD led him to feel isolated and misunderstood. He saw a need for a safe space where men with ADHD could connect with others who shared common experiences and challenges. Through the ADHD Men’s Support Group, Marc aims to provide a sense of belonging and support for men with ADHD. He believes that by sharing stories and experiences, men with ADHD can find validation and understanding, and build strong and supportive relationships. Marc also hopes to raise awareness about the unique ways in which people’s brains function and the diverse ways in which people experience the world, as part of the larger neurodiversity movement. Marc recognizes that mental illness can be stigmatized within society, and he hopes that the ADHD Men’s Support Group can be a place where men with ADHD can feel safe and supported, regardless of their unique ways of thinking and experiencing the world. He believes that by fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, men with ADHD can work together to advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance within society as a whole. He strikes a unique balance between positive feel-good stories and authenticity, without resorting to toxic positivity. ADHD Men’s Support Group The ADHD Men’s support group is a group specifically for men who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The group provides a space for men with ADHD to connect with others who share common experiences and challenges. One of the main goals of the ADHD Men’s support group is to provide a sense of belonging and support for men with ADHD. Many men with ADHD may feel isolated or misunderstood due to the unique way in which their brains function and the neurodevelopment differences they experience. The ADHD Men’s support group can provide a safe and supportive environment where men can share their experiences and find validation and understanding. In addition to providing support and a sense of belonging, an ADHD Men’s support group can also serve as a resource for men with ADHD. Group members may share information about treatment options, coping strategies, and other resources that can help men with ADHD navigate their daily lives. The ADHD Men’s support group can also be a place for men with ADHD to connect with others who share common interests and goals. Through group discussions and social interactions, men with ADHD can build strong and supportive relationships and work together to advocate for neurodiversity awareness and acceptance. Overall, the ADHD Men’s support group can be a valuable resource for men with ADHD, providing support, validation, and a sense of belonging, as well as an opportunity to connect with others who share common experiences and goals. It can also be a place for men with ADHD to work towards social change and advocate for neurodiversity acceptance within society. In this episode: Marc Almodovar is a coach, speaker, and has ADHD He is passionate about community building and helping men with ADHD feel seen Marc started an online support group for men with ADHD and it has grown into a nonprofit organization The organization is the largest online community for men with ADHD It’s goal is to educate, empower, and inspire men with ADHD through community Marc enjoys chatting with other people with ADHD He struggled with understanding and managing his ADHD and had low self-confidence as a result Cultural factors, including a lack of awareness, education and understanding about ADHD, affected Marc’s ability to express himself and understand his own brain Marc did not have behavioral or impulsive issues, but he was often “toned out” or distracted He learned to tone himself down by learning to manage his time and energy, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care Marc has also learned to embrace his intensity and use it to his advantage by finding ways to channel it into his work and passions He has found that learning to manage his intensity has helped him to be more present and engaged in his relationships and activities Creating neurodivergent community: Marc uses his intensity to create a space for others to be themselves and feel seen His personal brand is built on transparency and listening to others Marc has harnessed the power of his intensity by being true to himself and embracing his strengths He has found that by putting himself in spaces where he can be himself, he is able to use his speaking and active listening skills to connect with others and make a positive impact. Marc uses affirmations to hype himself up and boost his confidence before speaking events He helps others use their fire by sharing his own experiences and learning openly and transparently Marc believes that honesty and transparency are important and encourages others to embrace their intensity and not worry about pleasing everyone Marc emphasizes the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to manage intensity He advises others to embrace their passions and find ways to channel their intensity into their work and hobbies Marc encourages others to be kind to themselves and remember that it’s okay to not have everything figured out * Transcript Available * Resources: Join the Embracing Intensity Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! Join the ADHD Men’s Support Group Follow the ADHD Men’s Support Group on Twitter Follow Marc on Twitter

As neurodivergent creatives, we often find ourselves overwhelmed with too much stuff both in our environment and in our minds. We may be overrun with office supplies, craft supplies, and/or miscellaneous things that support our hyperfixations or latest hyperfocus. The ADHD brain is especially prone to mental clutter, and when our environment is a mess it's even harder to quiet our thoughts. On our last guest call, Nadja Carghetti shared how you can use Marie Kondo's approach to tidy your brain! Many people think you are either tidy or untidy, but the good news is that tidying is something you can learn! In Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, she shares how we can systematically tidy our space by getting rid of things that don't spark joy. Marie Kondo’s method of tidying can be applied to your mind as well as your stuff and help prioritize the things we spend our mental energy on. On this episode of Embracing Intensity, we share our talk with Nadja Carghetti, former tidying coach and host of the Unleash Monday Podcast, on Tidying Up Your Brain, Marie Kondo Style! In this episode: Why people’s homes reflect their life. Nadja's experience of being a multipotentialite and interested in many things. How growing up messy in her tidy parents’ house led her to believe you were either tidy or untidy. It took a long time to realize that tidying was something you could learn. The systematic decluttering process that can help you clear your space and mind. How learning the KonMari tidying method led to diving deeper into what brought her joy! Finding yourself through the process of tidying. Why tidying is considered a festival rather than a party. The 5 categories of things and the best order to sort them. Sorting through information overload to find the important bits. * Transcript Available * Links: Join Our Community! Embracing Intensity Membership

Building Self-Advocacy This week on Embracing Intensity, we share our talk with Dr. Matt Zakreski on self-advocacy skills. Self-advocacy is an important skill that can help you take charge of your own life and move toward greater freedom, fulfillment, and happiness. In this episode, we’ll explore the concept of self-advocacy and how it can help us feel more empowered in our own daily life. The goal of self-advocacy is to actively advocate on your own behalf to get your needs met. To be a strong self-advocate, you have to have a clear understanding of your own needs. This is important because it will determine your goals and how you will achieve them. If you have a goal in mind, you need to have a plan to get there.  The first step to positive change is to know what you are good at and what you are not good at. Explore how you can use your strengths to your advantage, and use your weaknesses as opportunities for growth.  When you’re trying to make a change, bringing in allies is powerful because it can give you insight into the world that you don’t have. They can help you see things that you wouldn’t have thought about. Gifted and neurodivergent folks often feel like they have to go it alone in their adult life. Self advocates use their support system such as colleagues, service providers, family members, or peer support. They aren’t afraid to ask for help! Setting the Stage! It is very important to set the stage and prepare yourself for the conversation ahead of time so that you can be as successful as possible. The best way to do that is to set aside time to prepare and to have all of your notes and your ideas and your facts ready. This way you will be able to focus and be more effective during the conversation. Also, consider doing it at a time and in a place where you can expect to have success. Set up a good place and time to talk about your needs, but give enough context of what you’d like to discuss so the other person doesn’t assume the worst.  Before we start with self-advocacy, we also need to consider the person we are advocating to and understand that their strengths and challenges might not be the same as ours. We need to be specific and tangible and help them take ownership and buy into the solution. By taking on a leadership role in the conversation we can help guide its direction. In order to give yourself the best chance possible to succeed, you have to be prepared to be flexible and let go of rigid expectations. If you are getting resistance from your boss or others, it’s a good idea to ask yourself, what do I need to do to get to the thing I want? Let them play a meaningful role in shaping what you need to do next. What new things can you try to improve the lives of people you’re working with? What employment opportunities might forward your career? Supporting Long Term Success It is also helpful to consider the benefits to everyone and make it a win-win. Explore how you both get the most out of the situation, help build and strengthen relationships and improve the lives of others. Getting what you want in the moment may not pay off in the long run if it means burning a bridge. Communicating clearly and assertively can help get our own needs met without compromising the needs of others. It’s important to be specific with your plan for following up or life might get in the way. Self-Advocacy is a lifelong process of constantly setting and re-setting boundaries. This process helps you to move forward in a positive way, towards being more successful as a self-advocate. Join us to learn more about self-advocacy with Dr. Matt! In this episode Good self-advocates get super clear on what they need. Tips for playing to your strengths, using your weaknesses as opportunities for growth, and taking steps to overcome them. Exploring your resources, connecting with allies, and recognizing the kind of help that’s available. The importance of timing and coming prepared to set yourself up for success. Setting clear goals to improve our own lives and the lives of others. Developing meta-communication and self-determination skills. How flexibility can help us get what we need in the long run. Meeting in the middle to set up a win-win solution. Getting buy-in and setting everyone up for success. Communicating assertively instead of passively or aggressively. The importance of specific, tangible, and direct communication. Setting a clear plan to follow up for success. Resources: Matt’s website Embracing Intensity Course Membership Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! * Transcript Available on EmbracingIntensity.com *

I am so thrilled to get to share Dr. Kimberly Douglass’ talk on Decolonizing Neurodivergence! From Violence to Love Do you ever wonder why we get into loops on social media platforms when we talk about neurodivergence? We have convinced ourselves this conversation is just about validating each other and understanding the traits of various conditions. The very definition of what it means to be neurodivergent is rooted in colonialist thinking and behavior. It’s clear to me: we don’t want to talk about the hard changes we have to make to ourselves, to our self-image; the hard changes we should demand from our society. We keep the conversation at the level of defining a problem; defining ourselves as the problem. We are willing to be the problem as long as we don’t have to challenge ourselves, other people, our families, our employers, our communities, our worlds. You are not a problem!!! Write this down: YOU ARE THE WAY!!! But, you know we talk about neurodivergence in ways that allow the powerful to hold on to their power. We are more comfortable with this than risking being disliked, having things taken from us or feeling powerful inside our own skin. Even the word power makes us uncomfortable. These are the ways we have been taught. This is colonization.Regardless of what you have been taught, YOU are the way to transformation for yourself and for others. With guidance on how to think about neurodivergence, we can help see yourself just as you are! YOU are the way to this new understanding…. for yourself, for your team, for your community. Let’s discuss here on my weekly blog: bit.ly/decolonizingndblog. About Kimberly: Dr Kimberly Douglass is the full-time owner of Kimberly Douglass, PhD, LLC. Dr Douglass and her team are designing a world in which neurodivergent people feel they belong. The team fuses disability advocacy with design thinking. Douglass’ team designs digital and paper content, such as courses, ebooks, journals, workbooks and the Neurodivergently Thinking cards. Also, the team offers premium 1 to 1 coaching services. Dr Douglass’ signature product is her Decolonizing Neurodivergence course. Dr Douglass and her team design tools that validate the neurodivergent experience. The team’s content and services challenge everyday processes that marginalize and shame neurodivergent people. Dr Douglass became a full-time business owner after working as staff, peer-reviewed researcher, faculty and administrator in higher education for over 17 years. She began the advocacy work over 12 years ago, when she became the chief advocate for her Son who is neurodivergent. She has since gotten more in touch with her own neurodivergence. Dr Douglass is married to Dean Tate and lives in Tennessee. Douglasskimberlylynn@gmail.com In this episode, Kimberly Shares: Her thoughts on growing up neurodivergent and breaking from the system. Moving from seeking validation to examining systems. Some common threads of neurodivergence. How we are living in a culture of consumption. Why no one wins under the current capitalist paradigm. Creating an agenda to make change. Why neurodivergence often comes with trauma. Examining how do we know what we think we know? The focus on compliance in our schools. Why we accept less, and deserve ease & flow. What neurodivergence Brings to the table. Supporting each other & building relationships. Examining our own systems we live in. Moving away from defensiveness & denial to make positive change. The elements of white supremacy culture. How you can support Kimberly’s work! Resources: Transcript Available on Embracing Intensity's Website Support Kimberly’s work and receive the first Decolonizing Neurodivergence Book! Join our Community & Check out our calendar of upcoming events! Access our Course and Content Membership including our past Guest Call Library

Taking a little pause to focus on moving & back end stuff.

Today’s episode is a recording of our talk with Leela Sinha on the intersection of neurodivergence and gender. This is definitely not an “inside-the-box” topic. You can find the full discussion in the Embracing Intensity community at community@embracingintensity.com.   Show Highlights: The overlap between autism and gender diversity How neurodivergence is defined as a very broad umbrella term for the different ways that people’s brains function Why the definition of queerness has changed over time but is still used as an umbrella term The overlap between queerness and neurodivergence How growing up with a different sense of known reality will cause attitudes and moves of self-protection How deconstruction occurs in society and feels “right” to stigmatized people Why identifying as non-binary or trans has become trendy as people have become more aware of their options for exploration Challenges in the non-binary gender spaces because of bias even in inclusion views How a fully nourishing environment helps neurodivergent kids understand their options and feel safe to express themselves How the progression occurs in media representation for queer representation and non-binary representation How pathologizing neurodivergence or queerness can affect a person’s ability to access resources and care Why accessibility is often not accounted for in the help and support spaces   Resources:   Connect with our community: community@embracingintensity.com  Connect with Leela Sinha:   Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and www.leelasinha.com    

We all have our “beyond our wildest imagination” dreams that we never realistically hope to achieve. This is not true for today’s guest. She truly is living her dream in a place she never thought possible, and she’s teaching others to reach for the unimaginable also. Join us to learn more! Sadie Smiley created Passive Income Pathways, where she gives expert advice about online businesses and how passive income can help achieve your wildest goals. She pushes people to learn how to make full-time money with part-time work, teaching them to “create, sell, kick ass, and repeat.”   Show Highlights: Why Sadie is intensely passionate about helping people make money beyond their wildest dreams The key to Sadie’s success: networking with others with different superpowers as a trade-off for the things she doesn’t love to do How Sadie’s personal brand of intensity in being “too much” means that she submerges herself 100% into whatever she does Why a time audit color code can be a game-changer for entrepreneurs How to charge your “happy price” and feel good about it How Sadie, with ADHD and autism, was a gifted student with good grades who had problems following rules How Sadie helps clients make money, no matter what barriers they have How Sadie learned where she was “masking” herself and learned to feel loved, cared for, and respected through the love of her husband How Sadie’s intensity has felt out of control many times because of her neurodiversity and personality issues, but she has learned to “grow through” the intensity How Sadie uses her fire for good in channeling her intensity into coaching and helping others How Sadie feels safe in her life now and doesn’t worry about doing things wrong “according to the experts” Why showing up consistently for her family, clients, and readers has helped Sadie manifest everything she has achieved How to focus on something small that is within your control when you feel the “shame spiral” Why Sadie loves helping others identify their passions and interests to give them what they need Sadie’s parting advice: “Work hard on showing up authentically and with consistency. Do something every day to move your business forward, and success will be the only option. Picture your wildest, craziest dream–and then work backward from it to show up every day to make it happen.”   Resources: Connect with Sadie at  www.sadiesmiley.com or here to learn about the Passive Income Pathways membership program. Visit www.embracingintensity.com/community for more information and to learn about future events!

Today’s episode is a recording from last fall about time management from a neurodivergent perspective. We are joined on the guest call by Emily Roach-Griffin, who is ADHD and gifted, and her insights resonate soundly with many of us. She is a business coach and speaker at BizBFF who loves helping business owners and those with an entrepreneurial spirit to build businesses and lives they love. Join us to hear Emily’s nuggets of wisdom about practical time management strategies!   Show Highlights: Journaling prompts about what’s most difficult about time management Why time management should be thought of as “task management” Why we need to unravel and untether ourselves from much of our traditional thinking about productivity and self-worth The importance of a toolbox of strategies, realizing that different tools may be effective on different days: Tools to help with “time blindness” and time awareness, like a timer and to-do list Tools to help with being on time, like an app  Tools to help with tasks, like breaking large tasks into “baby tasks” Tools to help prioritize tasks, like containers How Emily has “game-ified” her household tasks to change her perspective Why time management is NOT about getting more done in less time How to use a check-in system with your energy level to determine what is possible Why avoiding certain tasks might be our attempts to conceal our pain Resources: Connect with Emily: Biz BFF and Facebook Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next by Jennifer Louden Visit www.community.embracingintensity.com to find the library of all EI guest calls and to RSVP to future events!  

Today’s show carries a timely message for those of us who returned to work or school after the anxiety-ridden shutdown of the pandemic. As we try to move forward, many of us still face anxiety and burnout. My guest’s message of tapping into your intuition and doing things outside the box is relevant to almost everyone. Join us to learn more!   Cam Werley-Gonzales is an intuitive, living visionary, gifted embodiment expert, and intuitive unschooling catalyst. She is the owner of the Cambria Institute, a company that celebrates learning and living fully outside the proverbial education “box.” With over 25 years as an expert educator, it is Cam’s deepest conviction that while learners can engage with some success in typical schools, they are optimally served by alternate learning pathways, most notably “unschooling.” The Cambria Institute supports gifted families to embody their giftedness in all areas of life. The truth is that we get to learn, friend, work, love, parent, hobby, and enjoy all the things that come along with this intense and massively phenomenal gifted life with ease and alignment, uniquely in our own way.    Show Highlights:   Why Cam is intensely passionate about unschooling and her family’s unconventional life of travel and location independence as digital nomads How Cam opened an alternative-style brick and mortar school in Pasadena in 2019–right before the pandemic chaos began Why the Cambria Curated Community (CCC) was formed as a community of unschooling families How Cam’s personal brand of intensity means big feelings and big emotions–all the time How Cam’s intensity affected her in childhood with the need to hide her true self and be a people-pleaser in her family How Cam learned “to play the school game” really well as a kid but was traumatized, in part because of Pragmatic Language Impairment Differences in Pragmatic Language Impairment (PLI) and autism How Cam noticed communication differences the most in relationship with her spouse, who comes from a different cultural background How Cam learned to tone down and tune herself out in her professional career as a teacher and just follow what she was told to do How Cam’s intensity got out of control when she was homeschooling her oldest son How Cam uses her fire for good to help families learn unschooling and live intuitively How unschooling is defined: “Trusting that each person will intuitively be drawn to learn all the things they need to learn in their lifetime to tap into who they are as individuals so that their learning caters directly to them. The focus is on self-direction in learning.” How our intuition relates to our authenticity as a unique person and promotes emotional intelligence How Cam harnesses the power of her intensity by tuning into her happiness and joy with her life, family, and work Why Cam adopted the personal habit of giving herself the gift of “slow mornings”  How Cam helps others use their own fire by teaching people to tap into their true intuition and authenticity

Today’s episode is the Embracing Intensity Community Call with guest speaker Alexandra Loves. The topic is Drama vs. Passion, which is highly relevant to intense people. I’m excited to share this with you! You can find the full discussion at www.community.embracingintensity.com. As I’m working hard to finish out this school year, I am busy behind the scenes with some great projects planned for this coming summer and fall, and I’ll be sharing more about those later. Enjoy the call with Alexandra!   Show Highlights: How Alexandra defines the concept of drama vs. passion: “Passion is an intense desire or emotion sourced from within from a loving place. Drama is a chaotic, ungrounded emotional desire that comes from a place of fear and is sourced from ‘out there’.” A personal example of a conversation Alexandra had recently with someone about their passion–but it felt manipulative  What it feels like when someone says, “You are being dramatic.” How Alexandra has learned to look for clarity and mutual trust in relationships Why your passions are worth protecting with high standards and boundaries How to deal with intense emotions and discern between drama and passion Resources: Connect with Alexandra and claim a free download, Unstuck: Remedy for Internal Toxicity: www.alexandraloves.com.  Find her Woke Wisdom Podcast.  Join our community: www.community.embracingintensity.com