Kuldrin's Krypt A BDSM 101 Podcast

March 19, 2017sir@kuldrinskrypt.comA brief announcement:*Thanking you, the listener, for providing valuable feed back via email, voicemail, and speakpipe. All are easy to find at Kuldrinskrypt.com/contactrescources. *Expaining that episode frequency is somewhat inconsistent due to me choosing to provide valuable content as apposed to just throwing out episodes. However, I am taking a couple of weeks off starting today, March 19, 2017, to conduct interviews and prepare several episodes that will be be uploaded and scheduled to automatically publish on a specific day of the week I set. So episodes will pick back up...the podcast is NOT ending!* I need the audience to send in those funny sex/BDSM stories or I will NOT be able to finish the Humor & BDSM episode scheduled for April 1st, 2017. (That will also launch the daily jokes from the krypt. Only those that read the show notes will know about this as I did NOT talk about the daily jokes in the episode. If you read this please tweet " I read it! @MasterKuldrin " Thank you for doing that. *Give away: I am giving away a seven (7) buckle wrist cuff in the very near future. You must live in the United States to receive it and you must be a member of the fb page Kuldrin's Krypt: A BDSM 101 Podcast. Other details on how to win will be announced soon. sir@kuldrinskrypt.comhttp://kuldrinskrypt.comThis has been Master Kuldrin for KuldrinsKrypt.com "Unearth the Truth"

Kuldrin’s KryptS01E11-Pt 3 Red Flags, Fake Doms, & PredatorsFebruary 20th, 2017IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 11 for February 20th, 2017.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of Kuldrin’s Krypt we are going to wrap up our 3 part conversation about red flags, fake doms & predators.Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungThe last two weeks we discussed Red Flags and Fake Doms so if you missed that you will need to go back and listen to episodes 109 and 110 before listening to this episode. As usual, this is partly taken from an article and partly my own experience. You can find the link to the submissiveguide.com article in the show notes at http://kuldrinskrypt.com/111 Lets get started.In Parts 1 and 2, we looked at the information that you should try to gather when starting to interact with an unknown Dom/me. However, there are other warning signs that can appear once you start to develop a relationship with your new Dom/me.Evaluating your trainingOnce you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. You should always allow yourself permission evaluate your training by asking yourself: Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or, do they make you feel that you are constantly failing their orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or, is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me. The sub is often rewarded with praise and punishment, and the new sub will long to perform well in order to get that praise and avoid the punishment. Good Dom/mes want happy and proud subs. There is a difference between ‘beating’ and ‘browbeating’ just as there is a difference between being Dominant and domineering as we discussed in episode #3 "Rules to Love By & The Dom's RoleAnother warning sign in training is the lack of limits or safe words. I know there are experienced Dom/mes who say they don’t use either; however, I strongly believe both are necessary for the safety of a new sub. My first thought when someone says no limits is what about things like breath play, CNC, and primal play. Not to mention knife play, blood play, marking, scars and piercings? If there are no safe word how is your Dom/me going to know if there is some physical or mental effect that you are having trouble dealing with? There are some very experienced and observant Dom/mes out there, and the safe word may rarely or never be used but most of the time when that’s the case it’s also with an experienced sub that probably has logged a lot of playtime with that Dom/me...and besides all that, why would a Dom/me feel threatened by having a safe word in place?Is it Abuse or is it BDSM?A predator can use the feeling of need and dependency to create an unhealthy environment, rather than participation in an exciting power exchange. Signs of an abuser in the vanilla world are denial, isolation, dependency, anger, control, and emotional impact. How does this relate to the BDSM world? Let’s look at them one by one, and compare with the vanilla world.DenialIn the BDSM world the Dom may punish you for serious offenses. I have only had to severely punish a sub a few times in the past 21 years. If I was not allowed to punish them in a way that had been pre negotiated, the alternative would be to end the relationship, due to the nature of the conflict. They chose to accept the punishment. Often a Dom will discipline the sub, giving a clear explanation of the ‘offense’, and the discipline, e.g. standing in the corner because you talked back to your Dom. The discipline will fit the seriousness of the offense. This can be an enjoyable part of the power exchange, and ‘brat subs’ in particular will do things to make the Dom discipline them. A perfect example...if you’ve ever seen the movie secretary in the last scene she put a bug on the bed. Discipline can also be a useful training tool. Predators however will convince you that you deserve punishment for a wide variety of real and imagined offenses. They do not use appropriate levels of discipline, so the punishment does not fit the indiscretion. It is never part of a consensual power exchange, and offenses are not forgiven after the discipline. There is a constant reminder of your ‘failure’. True Doms learn to leave the past in the past.IsolationA vanilla abuser will isolate a girlfriend from her friends and family. The caring Dom/me may limit certain contacts in order to protect the sub, but will encourage healthy relationships inside and outside of the community...and not just with his chosen people. Don’t forget, you entered into your relationship friends and in part of a healthy relationship is spending time apart from each other with those friends. Otherwise, codependency will lead to isolation, a form of abuse in and of itself, but it typically doesn’t stop there. DependencyIf an abuser can control the person, he can control their feelings and keep them. A Dom is all about control, but again, the power exchange is the key. A sub consents to this control, and can withdraw consent at any time. Submissives derive great satisfaction from being owned and under control...it’s kinda what makes them submissives. However they should still have independent thoughts and actions. This makes life for both of parties more exciting as willing submission is the ultimate power exchange.AngerThe abuser reacts with anger instead of a range of emotions. The Dom/me will always keep calm and under control, especially when dispensing discipline or punishment. This is key for the safety of his or her submissive toy. As I have said in the past, I have ended a scene more times than my subs have combined because I wasn’t fully in the correct head head space. Whether it was anger with them, someone else, or just a general distraction. Anger has no place in administering punishment and should not be used to control anyone no matter the nature of the relationship.ControlWith the abuser it is his/her way or the highway. A proper Dom/me will negotiate roles in advance, and when a bump is encountered, renegotiation is encouraged. If this does not work out, then both sub or Dom/me have the choice to move on to another relationship, with no hard feelings on either side.Emotional ImpactYou can get used to being treated poorly, and begin to think it is normal. The predator Dom/me will approach slavery and submission as a lowly thing. Regarding most submissives or slaves a Dom/me might say ‘she’s just a slave’, but that sub or slave is usually highly valued. Humiliation play can be fun, but constant humiliation is abusive. If your instinct is that you are performing a valuable service, but your Dom/me has any of the characteristics we’ve discussed in this 3 part series, follow your instincts and find another Dom/me.There are wolves in this community. Some of these wolves are quite open about the fact, and proud of it (which gives you an interesting option if you have Red Riding Hood fantasies). Others are predators hiding behind fancy names and secrecy. The author of this submissiveguide.com article quoted her Master: “they refuse to come out into the light of munches and parties, and they pull newbies out to the fringes like separating lambs from the flock”. Unfortunately, I have to agree with him. The world of BDSM is about playing with the dark side of emotions, pain, and pleasure, or about serving in ways that are often unacceptable in the vanilla world. Subs need to be aware of warning signs to protect themselves, just as they do with dating in the vanilla world. In this case a little knowledge is not a dangerous thing; it can help you reap the rewards of the lifestyle of your choice.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDANext week’s agenda we are going to do a complete 180 from this topic and discuss the importance of humor BDSM. In the meantime be sure to checkout our site kuldrinskrypt.com and while you’re there click on support us to find out how to receive a Kuldrin’s Krypt t-shirt or hoodie. Also, don’t forget about kuldrinskrypt.com/shop It’s our amazon affiliate store where we tryout fun toys, books and other things...if we like it we add it there.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MasterKuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Kuldrin’s KryptS01E10-Red Flags, Fake Doms, & Predators Part 2February 13th, 2017IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 10 for February 13th, 2017.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of Kuldrin’s Krypt we are going to continue unearthing the truth in part 2 of the 3 part series on red flags, fake doms & predators. Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungLast week we discussed Red Flags and Fake Doms so if you missed that you will need to go back and listen to Part one and come back to this episode. As usual, this is partly taken from an article and partly my own experience. You can find the link to the submissiveguide.com article in the show notes at http://kuldrinskrypt.com/110 So without further adue on to the main topic.Information Please!If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive smell’. Dom/mes cense ‘new blood’, and swarm like piranhas to interact with, play with or train the new submissive in the group. Dom/mes may contact you online or meet you at a munch. They are covered with impressive or threatening names: Sir Snod of Grass or Master Whackyourass. With no experience, how can you tell if they are someone you can trust? The answer is information!Questions and AnswersFirst of all, ask lots and lots of questions. A Dom/me should not feel threatened by a sub’s questions, especially when establishing a new relationship. This is his or her chance to encourage open communication and feedback. Being told that questions aren’t welcome, or having your questions ignored or avoided should make you think twice about continue to chat with or meet this Dom/me. A good Dom/me will encourage learning, and the first and most important thing you need to learn about is your Dom/me! S/he is going to teach you, guide you, and maybe torture you. Would you allow a stranger to do that?What are questions that you can ask the Dom/me? The following questions were provided by the author’s Master as ones He would like a sub to ask Him.What does SSC stand for? This is the cornerstone of BDSM, and S/he should be able to answer this (even if S/he professes to follow RACK (Risk-aware consensual kink) instead, he should still be able to answer this, and give you a discussion of the differences in theories).What is their training style? How do they intend to adjust it to your personality?What is the job/purpose of the sub?What is the job/purpose of the Dom?If they were to use an implement on you, how would they gauge how hard they are hitting you?How do they tell if you’ve had enough or reached your limit (physically or mentally)?Do they use safe words?If you are going to be intimate, would they be willing to be tested for STD’s and STI’s and provide you with the paperwork?What is aftercare?How do they intend to handle sub drop if it happens several days later?What are some munches and parties they have attended? Are they willing to give you the names and contact information of the organizers?Now, as a newbie, you may not be able to evaluate these answers fully. However, you can judge whether your Dom/me is willing to answer the questions, and even better – if they enthusiastically discuss the questions and answers with you! Some of these questions can lead to long wonderful discussion which can greatly influence your path.Naming NamesUnless they are new a Dom/me should be willing and able to give references. Are there subs they have had in the past, either under contract or just in play? What happened with the previous subs? Can they give you their email addresses or introduce you to them? Write or talk to a couple of these subs and listen closely to what they say. It is always important to me to tell any potential subs my history with other subs, both the good and the bad. Maybe your new Dom/me has only had wonderful experiences, but for those who make this lifestyle part of their everyday lives, it is just as likely that there has been the occasional personality conflict. In the end the bad reports might tell you more about his/her strengths and weaknesses than the glowing reports from friends.And speaking of friends, will the Dom/me introduce you to friends in the lifestyle? Are there any? I’m not talking about the ‘friends’ on FetLife. That might be just a collection of names that seems to establish credibility, but has no basis in reality. I’m talking about people that they have interacted with. How they treat other Dom/mes and subs on a casual basis will reflect on how they will treat you once that “new sub smell” wears off.Aside from his/her own friends, is the Dom/me willing to let you go to munches to form relationships in the community? Will they only let you go with him or her, or do they tell you can only go when they feels you are ready? Munches are an important part of the community. They are a safe place where you can ask questions, receive various (and sometimes conflicting) opinions, and meet people with whom you may interact for the rest of your time in the lifestyle. They may legitimately want to be present with you in order to teach you protocol and ease your way into the lifestyle. After all, most Dom/mes care deeply about teaching their subs but if they continually tells you are not ready, and doesn’t do any training to get you there, consider this a bright red flag!Isolation from the community can occur as with munches, with forbidding you to join lists, or forbidding you to talk to other subs. Many Dom/mes will deny permission to talk to other Dom/mes due to protocol issues, but most have no problems encouraging communication with subs. Many experienced subs love to mentor new subs, and love to be asked questions and talk about their experiences. That should be a relationship that the Dom/me encourages, although they may want to be copied on the emails. A caring Dom/me will not limit your questions, but just monitor them so any concerns that may arise can be addressed.As a new sub, you should gather as much information as you can to make an informed decision as to whether or not you want to form a relationship with this Dom/me. Most Dom’s rule is “Protect the toy” not “Isolate the toy”. As far as I am concerned you are performing your duty as a submissive by developing relationships within the kink community, asking questions, and making sure you are entering a safe and healthy relationship.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDAWe will wrap up the three part series. In Part 3, we will examine warning signs in training, and abuse vs BDSM.In the meantime be sure to checkout our site kuldrinskrypt.com and while you’re there click on the support us to find out how to receive a Kuldrin’s Krypt t-shirt or hoodie. Also, don’t forget about kuldrinskrypt.com/shop It’s our amazon affiliate store where we tryout fun toys, books and other things...if we like it we add it there.Contact info: Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MasterKuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Kuldrin’s KryptS01E09-Red Flags, Fake Doms, & PredatorsFebruary 6th, 2017IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 9 for February 4th, 2017.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On the krypt tonight it’s part one of a three part series where we are going to unearth the truth about red flags, fake doms & predators.Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungNow to Red Flags, Fake Doms, and Predatorshttp://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/04/identifying-fake-dominants-posers/To start this discussion we need to get a couple of definitions out of the way...First, what exactly are “red flags”? They are anything that warns you of impending dread, danger, and/or threat. Second, what is a fake Dominant? This is someone who is just out for sex, fantasy and an easy lay. Fake Dominants may also be predators but we will get into those in later in this episode. Most of the time you will be dealing with the fakers, so that’s what this segment is all about.We now have online and real time versions of Dominants. I’m going to blend the two, because in this day and age it is likely that you meet someone online and move to real life.The most obvious fake Dominant will want to skip straight to the sex. They may start their conversation out sweetly enough, but it will soon become sexually oriented. Cyber sex may be suggested or you will be pushed to play on the first date or well before you’d be ready to. They don’t get to know you for who you are first. These are the booty chasers.Fake “doms” will also exaggerate their experience level. It does NOT matter what someone says...unless they can prove it. Chances are a 25 year old does not have 10 years of experience unless they are counting fantasies. However, you can’t judge experience by a number. Someone can say they have 10 years of experience, but if 6 years of that they were ‘on a break’ or not in a relationship...then that’s not experience.Fake Dominants will also try to Dom you without a relationship being present. This could be dictating what you are to wear for first meetings, when you are to be available online to chat, etc. Setting up rules and trying to make you do them before it is agreed upon is a HUGE red flag. If you haven’t negotiated these things then it isn’t informed consent. Some “doms” say they have a lot of references and can list names, but when I asked for phone numbers, email addresses, or Fetlife info they always come up with a reason to not have the requested info. References are meant to be useful. If they can’t give you contact information so that you can check them out, that’s a huge red flag. Honest Dominants will not only give them to you, but be happy that you check them out. Remember, those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing.Fake Dominants may also try to get you to not meet them in public...and they can be pretty persuasive…”oh, just come to the house so we can get to know each other in private.” Yeah, right. DO NOT...and I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH...DO NOT meet anyone you don’t know in a private location! Set up your safe call, and if the “dom” refuses to let you check in, and sometimes they are just really good at distracting you so you forget or don’t think about it, but if this is taking place leave immediately!Another red flag to be cautious of is if they want to get to know you, you are on good terms and they won’t share their phone number, where they live, etc but they expect you to. Also, if you are only able to call between narrow time frames. This is a red flag of not only fake Dominants but also cheaters! Another clue of cheaters is disappearing online without warning and doing it frequently. They bail so that their partner doesn’t see what they are doing.And finally is a Dominant requesting or forcing you to change something before you’ve agreed to a relationship. This could be along the lines of changing your hair because they don’t like it, losing weight, or breaking up with friends because they are ‘bad influences’. No one should make you change. A good Dominant will like you for who you are when getting to know you. There is no reason you should try to fit someone’s mold.Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. Use this a starting point because the list of things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up is almost endless. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDAWe will continue the conversation with part two of red flags, fake doms, and predators. In the meantime be sure to checkout our site kuldrinskrypt.com and while you’re there click on the support us to find out how to receive a Kuldrin’s Krypt t-shirt or hoodie. Also, don’t forget about kuldrinskrypt.com/shop It’s our amazon affiliate store where we tryout fun toys, books and other things...if we like it we add it there.Contact info:Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MasterKuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Kuldrin’s KryptS01E08 - Vetting and Consensual Non Consent (CNC)January 31, 2017IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 8 for January 31th, 2017.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of Kuldrin’s Krypt we are changing up the format a little bit and I’m giving you two segments. The first is straight from a short Fetlife article and the other a cautionary tale about consensual non consent also known as CNC. Let’s get started! Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungThe vetting process can be extremely easy to extremely hard to do for some people. Especially if you are not yet fully into the community...and in that case you may consider either waiting just a little longer or facing your fears, dive on in and those questions that need to be asked. I found a really good article on Fetlife.com about this and I felt I have to share it with you. I commented on the post asking her permission and she responding “yes, podcast away! My intention in posting was to potentially help others in an area I wish I would have better understood when I started kinking. If it helps one person not have to bumble around the way I did, then I'm a happy girl! :) PM me if there is anything else I can do to assist. Best wishes with your podcast!” So with the author’s permission, who goes by “ruminating” ( https://fetlife.com/users/3612738 ) on Fetlife (and there is a link to her profile in the show notes)here it is:Vetting is only as good as the questions asked and information provided. Asking “how’s so-and-so?" often results in answers like “cool” or “ok”. After playing, I've sometimes recognized that I could have been better informed and prepared had I asked better questions beforehand.Everybody vets differently, and certainly some situations call for more thorough vetting than others. Additionally, just because you ask someone a question doesn’t mean they need to respond. Not everybody is comfortable responding to these kinds of questions; that is okay. This is just what has worked for me, which I’m sharing in case it helps anyone else as they determine what works for them.What is vetting? Vetting is researching the person before you play with them. Tops can vet bottoms; bottoms can vet tops. Vetting can help you understand and mitigate potential risks.Who can I contact for vetting? You could ask the person directly for an initial list of references (understand that this list may be biased, but it's a start!). You could ask community/group leaders or other people in the community who you feel might have experience interacting with this person. For photography or rope in particular, you might find contacts by looking through a person's portfolio. With each person you contact, consider asking them "who else would you suggest I contact?"Sample vetting message:1. Introduction.“Hi, I’m thinking of doing [activity] with [so-and-so] and thought you might be a good person to contact for vetting. If you feel comfortable, would you mind sharing your thoughts?”I've had much better results when I provide a little detail on what I’m vetting them for (ie, floggers at a play party vs. rope instruction in a workshop vs. medieval dental torture while alone in their basement in the back woods of Arkansas)2. From here, determine what questions would be most helpful given the situation and the person you’re asking. Possibilities:How long have you known them/played with them?Have you done [activity] with them before?How would you describe the style of their play? (Understanding that their style may vary)How would you describe their technical proficiency or experience level?Did you feel safe?Challenges happen. It’s a risk we take. Challenges aren’t always indicative of something “bad”, but can provide learning opportunity. Have you experienced any challenges with playing with them? (Physical, emotional, consent/negotiation/boundaries, anything else)If there was a challenge, how was it handled?Do you feel they are receptive to feedback?Was there anything you wish you would have known before playing with them?Would you play with them again?How do you feel about their overall reputation for safety, respect, and responsibility?Any other insight/advice?3. Who else would you suggest I contact for vetting?The same framework can be used, if desired, when responding to a request for vetting from someone else. Happy kinking! :)Consensual nonconsent: A cautionary taleNEXT WEEK’S AGENDAContact info:Email: sir@kuldrinskrypt.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MasterKuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Kuldrin’s KryptS01E07 - Rights Vs PrivilegesJanuary 6, 2017IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 7 for January 6th, 2017.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of Kuldrin’s Krypt we are going discuss Rights Vs Privileges. First we’ll define each of them, then discuss who sets them, what happens when Dominants try to use the submissives rights as a bargaining tool and to top it off I’ll give a few examples of how a Dominant can use privileges as effective motivation.Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungDefining Rights https://www.google.com/search?q=define+rights&oq=define+rights&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.2593j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8That which is morally correct, just, or honorable.A moral or legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way.Defining Privileges https://www.google.com/search?q=define+privieges&oq=define+privieges&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.7275j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.Who set the terms of the Rights and Privileges in the relationship?All parties involved. It should be an ongoing discussion as part of the neverending negotiation and check in process.Who has rights and privileges in a D/s relationship?The sub? That’s always the one that is thought of first especially when it comes to privileges because that word is often interchangeable with reward but...Dom’s also may be granted privileges from the sub. Remember, it is a power exchange. The only reason the Dom has power is because it has been granted to them by the sub. I have had subs and bottoms offer me one time privileges on things that were soft and hard limits for special occasions. It was something that was well thought out by them and NEVER spur of the moment. A few examples would be going to a restaurant they absolutely hated, seeing a movie that was part of a franchise they hated, cutting their hair a certain way, and of course sexual activities. Now, some of these things don’t seem like that big of a deal but to the subs involved each of these things were huge and had actually been negotiated as soft or hard limits. They had absolutely no obligation to offer these services to me but did so because I had earned their trust and respect and proven I was a Dominant worthy of their submission so they gave a little extra. And of course, this recharged me to up my game even more. What happens when rights are used as bargaining tools?Unfortunately this is a frequent occurrence in any type of relationship from the whitest vanilla to the kinkiest of kinky. Sometimes it’s intentional and other times it happens because no one involved is really paying attention until it is too late and resentment and animosity has already developed. In either case, it is abuse. One of the reasons I like a strong, not bratty but strong submissive is because they are not afraid to bring things up that need to be talked about that I am not seeing. Just because I am an experienced Dom I am far from perfect and I like a sub that is also experienced enough to bring up the truly important issues that someone who is new may shy away from. Of course I always try to provide an environment where there is no fear of punishment for things said during check ins but some are still to timid to bring up certain things. How to use privileges as effective motivators?It is pretty obvious to most people how to do this-actions of going above and beyond can be rewarded. Normally, I am all about the importance of consistency but when it comes to using privileges as a reward I am intentionally and systematically inconsistent. The reason for this is simple, I do not want the privilege to become the norm. When this happens, it is no longer thought of as a privilege but as a right and is something that is expected. When this happens it creates conflict and confusion. Why wouldn’t my sub expect it if I’m granting that privilege or reward every time they do something a little special. However, when it comes to submissive training tools this can be a great thing and here consistency is the key. Let's say I had 24/7 live in sub and she wanted more than anything for me to sleep in her bed for the night. I have already discussed it with my wife and that would be used as a very, VERY special reward or training tool. If there was a particular training that the sub was really struggling with we would set smaller goals and each time one of those goals was met then she would be rewarded with me spending the night in her room and in her bed. Now, what do you think would happen if she put in the work and wasn’t granted this extremely special reward after a goal was met? That’s right, she would no longer trust my word or my training and she wouldn’t care about meeting the next goal. Motivation Vs CoercionManipulationChoice“Dangle the Carrot” NEXT WEEK’S AGENDAContact info:Email: masterkuldrin@gmail.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MasterKuldrinhttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

Dive into the fascinating world of BDSM as the host breaks down the concepts of Dom and Sub space. Discover the psychological and chemical factors behind these altered states during scenes. The importance of aftercare is highlighted, addressing how it helps maintain emotional health post-session. Listener engagement is encouraged, with insights on community resources for safe practices. Plus, get a sneak peek at upcoming topics that promise to deepen understanding within the BDSM lifestyle!

Kuldrin’s KryptPodcast #5-SwitchesDecember 23, 2016IntroThis is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 5 for December 23rd, 2016.(start theme pre-roll) Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispell myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. Today we are going take a look at what it is to be a Switch.Rules to Love by:Safe, sane, consensual, informedKNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul YoungThe SwitchDom/sub-PsychologicalTop/bottom-PhysicalFrom: http://www.submissiveguide.com/encyclopedia/switch/In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in SM activities as both a top and a bottom, or possibly in D/s activities as both a Dominant and a submissive. A switch will be the top on some occasions and the bottom on other occasions, not necessarily with the same partner. Switching within a scene, or even during a session is very rare.Switches are known to get a negative reaction from some purists who believe you can not be a switch and that these individuals just can’t make up their minds. This is far from the truth. It is difficult to define exactly who is a switch; there are many heated debates about switches on the BDSM forums. However, it is agreed that a switch is someone who can be either a top or bottom (not necessarily to the same person), one who can both dominate and submit.Common Myths:Switches are confused because they haven’t met the right personSwitches can’t be successful as a “real” Dom or as a “real” sub.Switches are typically bisexualCommon mistakesProper mental state to “scene”Communication breakdownNot knowing difference between dominant & domineeringSummaryPeople often shy away from admitting they like to switch because they fear derision.Being a switch is just as valuable a role as either of the others. The art of being able to fully submit or be a Top at one moment or another takes a very strong person that knows exactly what they want from BDSM and goes out to get it.NEXT WEEK’S AGENDAWe are going to get into the ins and out of Dom and sub space/drop and how that can affect a relationship.Contact info:Email: masterkuldrin@gmail.comFb: Kuldrin FireTwitter: @MasterKuldrinInstagram: kuldrinfirePatreon: kuldrinskryptPaypal: MastKuldrinkuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourceOutro:This has been Master Kuldrin Fire for kuldrinskrypt.com “Unearth the Truth”

Defining what it is to be submissive in a D/s relationship and common mistakes the people make that can lead them to being part of an abusive relationship.http://www.kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourseshttps://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinhttps://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.firehttp://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkKh6z8FEvlzTHn-H3t5NNwLimits & Kinks Survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/12tP-PZuDUuclgyJt5_F9pMIFn3dp3ZOFNazc6vULEqk/viewform?edit_requested=true&fbzx=-4818969378236805878

Defining what is really is to be a Dominant in a D/s relationship. Breaking it down into 3 rules to live by and 3 required traits/actions of a successful Dominant.http://www.kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresourseshttps://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinhttps://www.instagram.com/kuldrinfire/https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.firehttp://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkKh6z8FEvlzTHn-H3t5NNwLimits & Kinks Survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/12tP-PZuDUuclgyJt5_F9pMIFn3dp3ZOFNazc6vULEqk/viewform?edit_requested=true&fbzx=-4818969378236805878