The Allender Center Podcast

The discussion navigates the delicate balance between dreaming and facing disappointment. Emphasis is placed on the importance of joy amid life's unpredictability and the power of play as a response to hardship. Personal stories highlight moments of mourning interspersed with genuine connection and delight. The concept of 'defiant joy' emerges, encouraging listeners to find happiness even in challenging times. Ultimately, it's a call to embrace redemptive play and hope, fostering deeper connections and healing.

Explore the transformative concept of Sabbath as more than just a day, but a mindset that influences daily life. Delve into the art of anticipating joy and rest amidst a busy summer, navigating family dynamics and the chaos of planning. The conversation encourages embracing small pleasures and creating lasting memories with loved ones. Learn to shift from a to-do list mentality to one of delight and hope, allowing Sabbath rhythms to shape unique experiences that foster connection and gratitude.

Explore the manipulative tactic of DARVO—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—widely prevalent in abusive relationships and power struggles. The hosts discuss the emotional turmoil faced by victims and the societal implications of these dynamics. They reflect on loyalty's complexities in church and politics, unveiling how silence can shield wrongdoing. Additionally, practical strategies like ‘Gray Rocking’ help people navigate boundaries with narcissists. Together, they emphasize the importance of community support and truth-telling as acts of resistance against oppression.

Petra Malekzadeh, the Facilitation Development Manager at the Allender Center and expert in Narrative Focused Trauma Care, shares her insights on fostering transformation in faith communities. She discusses the vital role of storytelling in spiritual formation and the challenges of integrating personal narratives into church life. Petra emphasizes the need for leadership alignment, the power of vulnerability, and how authentic engagement can deepen discipleship. This conversation invites listeners to envision a church where storytelling is central to growth and connection.

Join John Kasich, the former governor of Ohio and author of 'Heaven Help Us', as he shares heartfelt stories from his life, including the transformative impact of losing his parents. He discusses the remarkable work done by faith communities to inspire hope and build stronger neighborhoods. John reflects on authenticity in belief, the power of personal relationships, and the importance of collective efforts across diverse groups. With a focus on unity and healing, his insights encourage us all to harness our faith for tangible change.

John Eldredge, a psychologist and New York Times Bestselling Author, discusses the challenges of experiencing God in today’s fast-paced world. He invites listeners to embrace their inner mystic, exploring what it means to cultivate a personal relationship with God despite modern distractions. Eldredge emphasizes the healing power of Jesus' presence, especially in dealing with trauma, and encourages everyone—not just the spiritually elite—to seek a deeper, experiential faith rooted in wonder and communion.

Have you ever felt unseen in a place where you were supposed to be known? Or like the more you tried to bring your true self forward, the more you were asked to hide it? Today on the podcast, author Aimee Byrd joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to talk about her new book, Saving Face: Finding My Self, God, and One Another Outside a Defaced Church.  It’s a deeply personal and theological reflection on spiritual abuse, identity, and healing—especially in the wake of church systems that no longer reflect the face of Christ. Together, they explore what it means to reclaim your face—your personhood, your story, your sacred calling. Aimee draws on the rich insight of philosopher Emmanuel Levinas, who wrote that the face is not merely a physical feature, but the place where we encounter both God and one another. To truly see another’s face is to take responsibility for their dignity and to recognize Christ’s presence there. Aimee shares her story of how a system that promised reform instead left her mocked, erased, and dehumanized. In that disillusionment, she came to a painful but powerful realization: we don’t just need reform. We need resurrection. A death to false forms of power, toxic moralism, and spiritual posturing—and a return to humility, presence, and love. This conversation offers an honest look at the loneliness of holding onto your God-given identity when others turn away, the courage it takes to seek the face of God in others, and the deep hope that emerges when we begin to see—and be seen—face to face. Listen to this week’s episode about “Saving Face” with Aimee Byrd, and be sure to pick up a copy of her book at: https://aimeebyrd.com/saving-face/

What if your first addiction wasn’t to a substance, but to someone’s approval? In part two of our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, we go deeper into the cycle of addiction, codependency, and the hope of recovery. Whether you're struggling with a relationship, a habit, a performance-driven mindset, or just the weight of trying to “be good,” this episode offers a profound invitation: transformation doesn't come from trying harder—it comes from surrender. You'll hear stories about the power of the 12 Steps, why spiritual awakening matters more than willpower, and how our early longings for love and safety often become tangled in the behaviors we’re desperate to change. We talk about ministry, leadership, trauma, boundaries, and what it really means to carry your healing into the lives of others. This isn’t a conversation about fixing people—it’s about engaging your own story so you can show up with greater freedom, compassion, and clarity. Take a breath, take a listen. We hope you’ll hear something that helps you come home to yourself. You can order Ian’s new book here: https://ianmorgancron.com/thefix  Please Note: This episode contains some mature language; listener discretion is advised.  

Underneath every addiction is a deeper ache—and a surprising path to healing. Bestselling author, therapist, and Episcopal priest Ian Morgan Cron joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to share insights from his newest book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. Ian invites us to reconsider the Twelve Steps—not just as a recovery tool for addicts, but as a grace-filled path of spiritual awakening for anyone longing for freedom, connection, and intimacy with God. This conversation is for everyone—not just those who identify as alcoholics or addicts. As Ian says, these steps offer healing to people who struggle with all kinds of attachments and compulsions: workaholism, people-pleasing, tech and porn addiction, codependency, control, food, spending, approval, sports betting… the list goes on. Ian points out that most of us are poly-addicted, caught in multiple patterns that disconnect us from God, ourselves, and each other. So this isn’t about comparing struggles or measuring severity. It’s about asking: Do I want to be free? Do I want to live with more honesty, grace, and surrender?  Whether or not you think you “need” the Steps, this conversation is a compassionate, humorous, and deeply spiritual invitation to let go of self-reliance and move toward the healing you were made for. Listen to Part 1 now, and be sure to come back next week for Part 2. In the meantime, you can order Ian’s new book here: https://ianmorgancron.com/thefix  Please Note: This episode contains some mature language; listener discretion is advised.  

What happens when a woman names harm in her church community—and instead of support, she’s met with silence, suspicion, or even exile?  Too often, the church’s response to abuse and inequity reveals a painful truth: that protecting systems has taken precedence over protecting people. In this powerful and layered conversation, Dr. Andrew J. Bauman joins Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to confront the realities explored in Andrew’s new book Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities.  Together, they discuss: The cost many women pay for speaking up: isolation, lost community, and spiritual disillusionment How even “progressive” churches can harbor subtle patterns of power and control The stark data that exposes ongoing gender inequity in ministry The personal stories that bring this reality to life—and why representation matters What a truly safe and equitable church could look like This is not just a conversation about what’s broken—it’s a call to build something better. A church where truth is welcomed, not silenced. Where policies protect the vulnerable. Where power is shared, not hoarded. And where the sacred image of God in women is honored, nurtured, and empowered. Whether you’re a survivor, a leader, or someone wrestling with disillusionment, this episode offers a brave and hopeful vision of what the church can become—if we have the courage to tell the truth and move toward change. Related Resources: Order your copy of Dr. Andrew J. Bauman’s SAFE CHURCH: How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities. Listen to the Allender Center Podcast episode: “Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse” Continue to learn with these self-paced online courses from the Allender Center: Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course