Life After Ministry

When termination happens behind a closed door, the impact lands in the kitchen, the car line, and the kids’ bedrooms.  In this episode, pastor’s wife Kristen Joy Humiston tells the story of being shut out of the room, hearing “you’re done here,” and driving home past the houses of those who voted yes. Matt and Marilee name what many spouses carry in silence: rejection before termination, the isolation that follows, and how trauma forms when you have no voice, no choice, and no people.  They also get practical. What to do on day one. How to breathe, pack, and protect your children. How boards can reduce harm and how churches can care for the whole family, not just the titleholder. There is life after ministry. It may look different than you imagined. Yet dignity, honest community, and thoughtful planning can close a wound and leave a healed scar.  This conversation offers language, tools, and hope for spouses, leaders, and boards who want to do hard things better. Key Takeaways Forced termination becomes traumatic when people lose voice, choice, and community. Boards can reduce harm through clear policy, generous severance, and family-wide care. Day one priorities: safety, breathing space, housing plan, immediate financial triage. Spouses often sense red flags early; their intuition should be invited and honored. Community mitigates trauma; isolation cements it. Build a small circle fast. Identity untangling takes time for both pastor and spouse; purpose is bigger than a role. Support groups for ministry wives provide consistent, safe spaces for real healing. Chapter Markers 00:00 Cold open and setup 03:22 Introductions; why this conversation matters 05:49 “You’re done here”: the termination moment 09:29 Red flags and the slow drift toward decision 11:29 Rejection before the firing; betrayal and shock 16:32 The body keeps the score: words fail, pain speaks 20:06 Day zero logistics: kids, school, where to go 26:51 Finding footing: packing, jobs, housing 31:24 When the church orbits the pastor and forgets the spouse 35:29 How boards can reduce harm and do this better 40:11 Healing in community: support groups for ministry wives 50:17 Life after ministry: new work, real purpose 53:18 Preparing for a high-risk profession: finances and wisdom 55:24 Resources, next steps, and hope Connect with Matt and the team at MinistryTransitions.com for guidance through terminations, transitions, or succession planning. Explore Kristen’s support groups and coaching at KristenJoyCoaching.com for pastors’ wives and women navigating ministry fallout.

When a beloved role ends, identity gets loud.  In this candid conversation, Joshua Gordon traces his journey from ministry-adjacent entrepreneur to a surprising new assignment after his business collapsed in COVID. A trusted friend’s hard words, deep prayer, and patient community became “spiritual physio” that restored his sense of self in Christ. We talk about the gap between intention and impact in church transitions, why being “driven” can hide quiet desperation, and how to hear God’s still small voice before things are literally on fire.  Josh shares the practical and pastoral moves that protected his marriage, his kids, and his future calling. If you are a leader facing an ending, a board guiding one, or a pastor recovering from one, this episode offers language, wisdom, and hope. Faithfulness isn’t empire building. It’s walking with Jesus in ordinary choices that shape a lifetime. Key takeaways Intention without action creates collateral damage in transitions. “Driven” can be desperation in disguise; identity must relocate from role to Christ. God often speaks through memory, community, and quiet checks in the soul. Invite truth-telling friends. Love risks being misunderstood to protect you. Over-preparation can be control; trust requires limits on our need to manage outcomes. Measure success by faithfulness to Jesus and people, not by platform. Healthy endings open a window for deep heart work and future freedom. Chapter markers 00:00 Cold open, Canadians and calling 03:20 Intention vs impact in church transitions 07:30 PK expectations and disillusionment 10:20 Building a ministry-minded business 12:40 COVID collapse and costly layoffs 16:20 Untangling identity from role 18:45 A memory from God that exposed motive 28:55 “Physio” for the soul and daily trust 38:00 Friendship that told the hard truth 47:50 Closing one work, starting another 52:15 Learning to follow quiet discernment 59:30 Wealth redefined: family, faith, and freedom 1:04:15 Kingdom over empire, final blessing If you’re facing a ministry transition - or helping someone through one - visit MinistryTransitions.com to find confidential guidance, resources, and hope for what’s next. For more from Joshua Gordon and The Lead Pastor, visit here: https://theleadpastor.com/ 

When the New York Times ran with allegations surrounding Willow Creek’s founding pastor, Steve Carter had a choice: keep the machine running or protect the trust of the people in the room. He chose integrity - and walked away from the stage that had defined his career. In this conversation, Steve names the real costs: the silence inside the institution, the “values higher than the chaos” that guided him, and the morning-after reality that there was no job, no safety net, and no way to control the narrative. He talks about the anger he absorbed, the outside leaders who showed up, and the therapist’s hard question that kept him from repeating patterns. But the story doesn’t end in exile. It moves through a real wilderness - grief, breathing, waiting - and into a humbler, healthier life: moving back to the Midwest, choosing place over platform, and becoming the lead pastor at Christ Church. What emerges is a field guide for anyone facing a crisis of integrity in Christian leadership. Key Takeaways  Integrity over institutional preservation: Trust is sacred; don’t trade it for optics. Name “values higher than the chaos”: Decide in advance what you won’t violate when pressure comes. Healing is not transferable: There’s first-hand wounding and first-hand healing; your family needs its own path. Interrogate attraction to unhealthy systems: Ask why certain leaders and cultures feel “safe.” Grief takes the time it takes: Practice a Holy Saturday rhythm - don’t rush from Friday to Sunday. Choose place over platform: Calling is often geographic and relational, not positional. Lead from scars, not spin: Wounds can become witness when truth is told and humility is practiced. Chapter Markers 00:00 — Cold open: Why transitions are never just “staff changes” 04:53 — “These are my people”: the early joy at Willow 06:47 — Crisis emerges; what repentance would have required 09:14 — The headlines drop; “I won’t play with people’s trust” 11:52 — Who can you trust when the room is spinning? 17:22 — Six options, and why pastoring again wasn’t one of them 19:26 — Therapist’s jolt: “Why are you drawn to narcissists?” 22:16 — Outside support vs. inside backlash; the binder of messages 25:34 — Reframing the anger; learning what people were really saying 27:59 — Starbucks incident; a son’s question about “reward” 33:25 — Grieve, Breathe, Receive: the Holy Weekend framework 36:53 — Wilderness theology: disorientation to reorientation 39:36 — Reentry: discerning a safe, healthy church 41:33 — “Steve of Chicagoland”: called to a place, not a position 43:50 — Inner Hybels and inner Ortberg: action and formation 47:20 — Staying in touch; practicing faithfulness, not fame If you’re walking through a ministry transition or facing hard decisions about leadership, you don’t have to do it alone. Visit MinistryTransitions.com to explore resources, donate to support a leader in the thick of change, or book a confidential call. You can also learn more about Steve Carter’s ministry and resources through Christ Church of Oak Brook and by picking up his book Grieve, Breathe, Receive at stevecarter.org/book.

Many pastors find themselves at the end of their ministry career unable to retire - not because they lack calling, but because they lack financial security. Churches often avoid the money conversation, leaving leaders stuck in the pulpit longer than they should be. In this episode, financial strategist Gabe Pelphrey opens the curtain on why retirement planning for ministry leaders so often gets ignored. He explains the unique challenges pastors face, the role boards must play, and the courageous conversations that make succession possible. This isn’t just about money - it’s about stewardship, legacy, and ensuring both leaders and churches are prepared for what’s next. Key Takeaways Why many pastors cannot financially afford to retire The board’s role in annual compensation and planning reviews How rabbi trusts and deferred compensation plans protect leaders and churches The danger of assuming “God will provide” without planning Why courageous conversations about money and succession matter How retrospective compensation studies address past underpayment Why planning early ensures dignity, security, and peace in transitions Chapter Markers 00:00 – Welcome & Introductions 01:20 – The hidden financial crisis in pastoral transitions 03:45 – Who holds responsibility: pastor or board? 06:15 – When pastors retire into poverty 08:00 – Unique financial tools for churches (rabbi trusts, 403b9s) 10:13 – Stewardship and courageous conversations 13:27 – Strongholds around money in ministry 16:40 – Poverty mindset vs. extravagant misconceptions 20:06 – Retrospective compensation studies explained 22:53 – Gabe’s background and calling into this work 25:06 – How Stewarded serves churches and nonprofits 27:00 – Why Ministry Transitions + Stewarded work hand-in-hand 32:29 – Preview of joint webinar Retirement should not punish calling. Visit stewarded.io to schedule a strategy session. Build a clear roadmap with your board using tools like 403(b)(9) plans, rabbi trusts, deferred compensation, and retrospective compensation studies so your pastor can finish with dignity and your church stays strong. If succession or a financial crunch is on the horizon, do not walk it alone. Go to ministrytransitions.com to book a confidential call. We help pastors and boards craft integrity-first transition plans that protect people, steward resources, and prepare your church for what’s next.

Behind every thriving ministry is a foundation you can’t always see - standards, accountability, and trust. Without them, the most passionate vision can unravel overnight. In this episode of Life After Ministry, ECFA’s Jake Lapp explains why accountability matters not just for auditors and boards but for pastors, leaders, and anyone entrusted with Kingdom resources.  He shares how ECFA’s standards were designed to serve ministries, not stifle them, and how transparency is one of the clearest ways leaders reflect Christ’s call to integrity. If you’ve ever wondered whether accountability hinders or helps ministry, Jake’s perspective reframes the conversation. This episode offers a framework for leaders who want to guard the mission, protect their people, and leave behind a legacy of trust. Key Takeaways Accountability is not bureaucracy - it’s discipleship. Transparency builds trust faster than vision statements. Financial integrity protects both leaders and the people they serve. ECFA standards are guardrails, not red tape. Trust is earned in drops but lost in buckets. Healthy structures create freedom, not restriction. Integrity in hidden details sustains visible ministry. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Introduction to ECFA and Jake Lapp 02:05 – Why Accountability Matters in Ministry 05:20 – The Role of ECFA Standards 09:45 – How Transparency Builds Trust 13:10 – Common Pitfalls Leaders Face 17:25 – Trust, Integrity, and Long-Term Sustainability 21:40 – Encouragement for Leaders in Transition Strengthen the foundation you cannot see. Visit ECFA.org to review the Seven Standards, explore practical tools, and begin a clear pathway toward accreditation. Build transparency that protects people, guards the mission, and reflects Christ’s call to integrity. If a transition is on the horizon, do not carry it alone. Go to MinistryTransitions.com to book a confidential call and build an integrity-first plan that safeguards your people and purpose. If you’re able, give to make this support possible for another leader.

What happens when the very act of caring for others leaves you depleted?  Laura Howe, founder of Hope Made Strong, knows firsthand the toll of compassion fatigue. From her own season of burnout came a global movement equipping churches to address mental health with wisdom and grace. In this conversation, Laura shares her personal journey from exhaustion to renewed purpose. She reminds us that burnout is not a moral failure, but a workplace hazard for anyone serving in caregiving roles.  With honesty and clarity, she explains what resilience truly looks like, how to know when you’ve moved from “yellow” into “red,” and why churches must begin addressing mental health as part of whole-life discipleship. For leaders in transition, this episode offers a lifeline. You’ll hear not only practical wisdom but also the hope that God redeems what feels wasted.  Whether you’re a pastor, a board member, or someone carrying unseen weight, Laura’s insights offer courage to pause, refuel, and continue faithfully. Key Takeaways Burnout and compassion fatigue are hazards of caregiving, not signs of weakness or sin. Resilience is less about powering through and more about bouncing back. Ministry leaders must learn to recognize their “zone” on the green-yellow-orange-red scale. Sustainable care in churches means creating belonging, purpose, and hope - not acting as clinics. The Church has a unique capacity to support mental health across every stage of life. Global interest in integrating faith and mental health is rising rapidly. Hope Made Strong and the Church Mental Health Summit provide free, practical resources. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Introduction to Laura Howe and Hope Made Strong 01:10 – Laura’s Burnout Story and Birth of Hope Made Strong 03:13 – Understanding Compassion Fatigue and Resilience 06:12 – How Do You Know It’s Time for a Change? 09:17 – From Red Zone to Hope Made Strong 12:15 – Sustainability and the Church’s Responsibility 16:04 – Why the Church Must Embrace Mental Health 19:50 – Launching the Church Mental Health Summit 23:25 – Personal Reflection and Final Encouragement If this episode stirred something in you, take a next step: visit MinistryTransitions.com to book a confidential call about an upcoming transition, termination, or succession - or give to help another leader get timely support. Then head to HopeMadeStrong.org to equip your team for sustainable care by registering for the Church Mental Health Summit and accessing practical tools for your church.

What if the missing piece in your leadership is not more strategy but more empathy?  Bill and Kristi Gaultiere say empathy is oxygen for the soul, and many leaders are gasping without realizing it.  They join Matt to unpack how Jesus models secure attachment with the Father and how we can receive and reflect that love in daily life. Bill and Kristi name the empathy deserts many of us grew up in, why ministry culture often rewards self-neglect, and how receiving care is not a luxury. It is discipleship.  The conversation lands with the Four A’s of Empathy. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge. Affirm. Practice these, and watch connection and courage return. If you are ending a role, beginning again, or preparing for a hard meeting, this episode offers biblical wisdom and field-tested tools to do hard things with Jesus’ easy yoke. Key Takeaways Empathy is not sentimentality. It is the way love becomes believable and actionable. “We love because He first loved us.” Many leaders grew up in empathy deserts. Naming this breaks shame and opens us to care. Jesus models secure attachment with the Father. Presence before performance. Prayer before platform. The Four A’s of Empathy help in any conversation. Ask. Attune. Acknowledge significance. Affirm strengths. Receiving empathy enlarges capacity for compassion at home and work. Empathy transforms hard transitions. It dignifies layoffs, fuels grief work, and softens the ground for forgiveness. Leaders need safe people and slow practices that rebuild attachment to God and others. Chapter Markers 00:00 Welcome and name pronunciation fun 01:38 What is Soul Shepherding and the easy yoke of Jesus 04:10 Release day for Deeply Loved and why empathy matters 04:43 Empathy deserts and early stories that shape leaders 07:45 Why Christian leaders struggle to receive love 11:06 Empathy is oxygen for the soul 14:48 “Is empathy soft?” Gender, strength, and honesty 20:38 Attachment, secure bonds, and practical tools 26:30 Theology plus psychology in Deeply Loved 27:03 The Four A’s of Empathy explained 38:22 Empathy in layoffs, burnout, and hard meetings 43:53 Where to find the book and Soul Shepherding retreats 45:08 Close and gratitude Explore More Resources: Dive deeper into the themes of this episode by visiting soulshepherding.org/deeplylovedbook for Bill and Kristi Gaultier’s Deeply Loved, and find confidential guidance and support for ministry transitions at ministrytransitions.com.

Sixty episodes. More than 70,000 downloads. And countless stories of leaders who’ve walked through suffering, loss, and transition - and discovered God’s faithfulness in the middle of it all. In this season finale, Matt Davis pauses to look back on the lessons of Season Four.  From transformational suffering to leadership in crisis, from the wilderness of interruption to the challenge of succession planning, these conversations have pointed us toward what truly sustains ministry. More than just a recap, this is an invitation. An invitation to reflect on what God may be stirring in your own life and to consider how you might come alongside leaders who are navigating the hardest moments of ministry. Key Takeaways Every testimony is more than a story - it’s a prayer for God to do it again. Suffering, when surrendered, can become transformational. Presence matters more than polish in crisis leadership. Succession is both organizational and personal - it requires planning on both levels. The Church’s culture is an operating system, not an event. Leaders in transition need more than strategy - they need support. You can be part of multiplying hope for leaders facing transition. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Introduction: Season 4 Wrap-Up 01:00 – Why Testimonies Are Prayers for God to Do It Again 03:15 – Lessons from Guests: Suffering, Succession, Wilderness, and Culture 09:00 – Succession as Both Organizational and Personal 12:00 – Supporting Leaders in Transition: An Appeal 15:00 – Thank You and Looking Ahead to Season 5 Ministry Transitions stands in the gap for pastors and ministry leaders who’ve been let go, burned out, or are simply facing their next step - and they need your help. Visit ministrytransitions.com to: Access resources Sponsor a leader in crisis Or schedule a conversation to take stock of your next step You’re not giving to a program - you’re giving to a person with a calling. Let’s walk with leaders through their lowest valleys and help them find hope again.

What if waiting until you’re ready keeps you from ever starting?  In this episode of Life After Ministry, Matt Davis sits down with Holly Tate, founder of The Ready Network, to talk about leadership, courage, and stepping into the unknown. Holly shares her own story of transition - from years at Vanderbloemen, to joining Leadr, to launching her own work helping leaders and teams move from stuck to unstuck.  Along the way, she opens up about fear, the myth of readiness, and how emotional intelligence shapes the future of ministry leadership. For pastors, boards, and ministry leaders wrestling with change, this episode offers both empathy and clarity: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need the courage to take the next step. Key Takeaways Why emotional intelligence often outweighs skills in ministry hiring. The unique challenges of church staffing versus corporate staffing. Holly’s hardest transition and what it taught her about calling. How the Ready Framework moves leaders from chaos to clarity. Why starting scared is better than never starting at all. The “Yes Barometer” that keeps teams from being derailed by new ideas. How transformation requires courage, vulnerability, and faith. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Matt introduces Holly Tate 01:30 – Early leadership influences and church impact 05:30 – Lessons from staffing and hiring in ministry 08:50 – Transition to Leader and lessons from 2020 15:10 – Starting scared: email, podcast, and new ventures 21:00 – The Ready Framework explained 26:45 – Why teams need the Yes Barometer 29:30 – Becoming ready by doing Next Steps Learn more resources for ministry transitions at MinistryTransitions.com Explore Holly’s coaching and clarity framework at TheReadyNetwork.com  

Every ministry transition comes with both a push and a pull. Sometimes you’re drawn toward a new calling. Other times you simply know you can’t stay.  For Tim Stevens, those moments have shaped four decades of leadership in the church - and given him a front-row seat to hundreds of leaders navigating their own endings and beginnings. In this conversation, Tim shares candidly about untangling his identity from the church he helped build, why pastors often stay too long, and how to navigate the grief and uncertainty that come with leaving.  From decades at Granger Community Church to crisis leadership at Willow Creek during COVID, Tim has lived through seasons that tested both his loyalty and his leadership instincts. Now, through Leading Smart, he walks pastors and boards through governance challenges, succession planning, and leadership transitions.  Tim offers practical wisdom for both leaders in the second chair and those tasked with guiding major shifts - always with the reminder that ministry endings can be done in ways that protect people, preserve purpose, and prepare for what’s next. Key Takeaways The “push and pull” dynamic is present in every ministry transition. Identity can become dangerously intertwined with a role - separation is painful but necessary. Pastors often stay longer than they should due to loyalty, finances, or lack of vision for life after ministry. Succession planning must start years in advance to avoid crisis moments. Governance structures that worked for a smaller church may need major revision as the church grows. Churches rarely have systems in place to care for staff after terminations or transitions. Healthy endings require intentionality, outside support, and a willingness to let go. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Pickleball, Notre Dame, and the start of the conversation 02:29 – Matt’s transition season and early connection with Tim 03:17 – Tim’s 40 years in ministry and five major transitions 06:55 – Leaving Granger: identity, co-dependence, and the year-long decision 13:06 – Lessons from Vanderbloemen: big vs. small church transitions 15:17 – Leading through crisis at Willow Creek during COVID 18:49 – The birth of Leading Smart and the work Tim does today 24:36 – The state of the American church and Gen Z trends 26:20 – Why pastors aren’t ready for succession - and how to prepare 28:33 – Outplacement and caring well for staff you have to let go 32:21 – How to connect with Tim and Leading Smart If you’re in a season of transition - or see one on the horizon - visit MinistryTransitions.com to connect, give, or book a confidential call. And explore Tim’s work at LeadingSmart.com for coaching, consulting, and resources your church can put into action right now.