The Courageous Life

What leads us to live divided lives that defy our own sense of identity and integrity? When we do, what price do we and the world pay? How can we recover the wholeness that is our birthright? Today’s guest, legendary teacher, activist, and author Parker J. Palmer―has helped people in every walk of life rise to the challenge of living “divided no more.”In his book, A Hidden Wholeness, now in its 20th Anniversary Edition, He examines the forces that deflect us from the soul's true north, and ultimately offers up his trademark blend of heart, humor, and wisdom. In addition, Parker generously shares practices that might help us embody integrity in a world where it often feels risky to be who we are. In today’s conversation which was originally recorded in 2019 we’ll explore what it means to embrace wholeness, The courage required to make the journey,And how we might find sturdy footing along the way - both in solitude and community - as we seek to live with deeper integrity at every level of our lives.For more on Parker, his books, and the incredible work he’s done throughout his storied career please visit newcomerpalmer.com or check out the Center for Courage and Renewal at couragerenewal.org. Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Wisdom and Love in Troubling Times | Mark Nepo & Elizabeth LesserOn Work, Friendship, and Embracing Impermanence | Parker Palmer & Jerry ColonnaEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!Support the show

What if the time is never coming when you’re ‘on top of things’, or finally feel like you know what you’re doing?For years, New York Times Bestselling author Oliver Burkeman has dared to ask provocative questions like these.The sort of questions that invite us to examine popular cultural views about what it means to work and live well.In his beautiful and brilliant books, his longtime column in the Guardian, and other writings,Oliver has been a leading voice helping to unravel myths about the often celebrated idea that we can 'do it all'.Rather than chasing perfectionism he invites us to embrace our imperfections,To confront our mortality,and to explore deeper questions about what matters, and what will bring us fully alive in the brief time we’re here.Today we are re-releasing this inspiring conversation from 2024 - one of the most popular we've ever had on the show.In it we’ll thoroughly explore how and why imperfectionism may actually be the path to experiencing a more meaningful, productive, absorbing and energizing life –not later, but right here in the midst of the overwhelm, the distraction, and the anxiety-inducing news headlines.For more on today's themes be sure to check out Oliver's profound new book, Meditations for Mortals, which you can pick up wherever books are sold. Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Wholeness, Service, and Enduring Happiness | Stephanie HarrisonOn Unwinding Toxic Productivity | Israa NasirEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!More about Oliver:Oliver Burkeman is a best-selling author and keynote speaker. His books include Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, Four Thousand Weeks, as well as The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. For many years Oliver wrote a popular weekly column on psychology for the Guardian. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. For more please visit: Oliverburkeman.comSupport the show

To care, to love, and to be human,Means we will inevitably experience heartbreak. Whether its the loss of relationship,The end of a job, The death of a loved one,A natural disaster, infertility, a financial crisis, or any shape that loss may take.Heartbreak sends us reeling―Leaving many of us feeling alone and adrift. After her own experience of serial heartbreak over the span of five years, Sara Avant Stover wrote her latest book: Handbook for the Heartbroken.Feeling impacted by our culture’s dysfunctional relationship with loss Sara says:“We’re encouraged at every turn to hurry up and get on with it, but by trying to power through these messier seasons of life, we’re denying ourselves the very answers to our healing and growth.”In today’s conversation we are going to slow down and unpack some of Sara’s greatest insights about the landscape of heartbreak. Including how we can find the courage, hope, strength, and resilience to move through it.That the path forward is not alone, but together.And how Sara’s insights, teachings, stories and practices serve as a powerful reminder - That if we can find the courage to embrace change with an open heart, including when things fall apart completely, we might ultimately become a wiser, more mature, and integrated human being through the process.For more on Sara, including her books, retreats, the work she does as an Internal Family Systems Practitioner, and Business Strategist to entrepreneurial women please visit saraavantstover.comDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you’ll love:Meditation, Awakening, and Original Love | Henry ShukmanStrong Back, Soft Front: The Practice of a Lifetime | Elizabeth LesserFinding the Strength to Meet Adversity | Mark NepoEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts.Thanks for listening!Support the show

When our good friends encounter challenges,A default response for many of us is often:To have their backTo show up fullyTo be kindTo put judgment aside, And to remind them that they are not alone. When we turn this practice, of being for someone, toward ourselves, particularly in the face of:obstacles, hardships, adversity, and failure,it's called self-compassion.A practice that involves recognizing our own suffering, and meeting it with love, As we learn to become a good friend to ourselves. Over time learning to listen less to the harsh whispers of the inner critic, And more to the encouraging words from that wiser part of us - Our inner ally.When we practice in this way, the door to a more sustainable and expansive experience opens, And we have the opportunity to walk through it and into the rest of our life with greater resilience, ease, wellbeing, and balance.Today’s guest, Megan Prager, is Director of Compassion Programs at the University of California San Diego’s Center for Mindfulness. Megan is one of the leading teachers of mindful self compassion in the US.She hosts retreats, classes, and experiences that offer the opportunity to learn mindfulness, compassion, and a whole host of practices that foster an opportunity to learn to become better friends to ourselves. Today we are going to take a deep dive into Megan’s journey to becoming the teacher and leader she is today. A journey that was marked by her own experiences of adversity, suffering, and (particularly at the beginning) skepticism of the very practices she now teaches.We’ll also get into the fiercer aspects of self-compassion that involve:Boundary setting, Fnding the courage to show up in integrity, And how self-compassion can be helpful in the challenging and uncertain times we find ourselves in. For more on Megan, her classes, retreats, teacher trainings, and various other offerings, please visit mindfullabs.comDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Wholeness, Service, and Enduring Happiness | Stephanie HarrisonEmbracing the Journey From 'Doing' to 'Being' with Amy DongEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!Support the show

Alison Wood Brooks is a celebrated Harvard Business School Professor who studies the hidden architecture of conversations. Her groundbreaking work shows that while all of us can struggle with difficult conversations, We’re often not very good at the easy ones either (even though we have them all the time). Alison argues that part of the reason for this is because conversation is one of the most complex, demanding, and delicate of all human tasks. Every time we converse with one another, a wide range of possibilities for misinterpretation and misunderstanding arise. It’s just part of it. And yet, at the same time, conversations can also be a source of great joy. Each one offering an opportunity to express who we are,to learn who others are—and to feel connected, loved, and alive.In Alison’s words, there’s a "magic" that happens when we get conversation right.Today we are going to have a deep and wide ranging conversation about how to have better conversations. Alison and I will dive into themes from her wonderful new book:TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being OurselvesThroughout our time together Alison will offer powerful insights, moving stories, and practical tweaks to not only make our everyday conversations better,but that also might just have a profound positive impact on our relationships at work and in life.For more on Alison, her book, and the wonderful work she is doing please visit alisonwoodbrooks.com.Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Mastering Our Emotional Life | Ethan KrossOvercoming Self-doubt and Imposterism | Dr. Jill StoddardEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!Support the show

Brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor famously once said:“Most of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures that feel, but we are actually feeling creatures that think.”Whether it’s anxiety about going to the doctor, Boiling rage when we’re stuck in traffic, Devastation after a painful break-up, Joy from the birth of a child, Or peace that arises from being in natureOur emotional landscape is dynamic, complex, and often bittersweet - containing both the painful and the pleasant.And as today’s guest, renowned emotion scientist, Dr. Ethan Kross writes:"As difficult as our emotions can sometimes be, they are also a superpower."In his new book: Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You, Ethan Challenges us to move away from a binary lens that views emotions simplyas being “good” or “bad.”Reminding us instead that emotions are information. And that when activated in the right ways,and at the right time, they function like an immune system, alerting us to our surroundings, telling us how to react to a situation, and helping us make the right choices. The big question then is: How do we make our emotions work for us rather than against us? How do we unlock this superpower?Ethan has devoted his scientific career to answering this question.Working closely with his team at the Emotion and Self Control Lab at the Ross School of Business,He has been leading groundbreaking research on emotion regulation and how the conversations people have with themselves impact their health, performance, decisions and relationshipsIn today's conversation:We will explore a blend of insights, stories, and practices that will shed light on what Ethan has uncovered through this work- the possibility of mastering our emotional lives in ways that allow us to live, lead, and love better. Interested in more Ethan? To find his books, talks, and other illuminating work, please visit ethankross.comDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:To Feel is To Be Human | Dr. Marc BrackettThe Missing Ingredient to 'The Good Life' | Lorraine BesserEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!Support the show

"It’s not your fault if you are unhappy. You have been told three lies: You’re not good enough; You need to achieve fame, wealth, and power; You need to do it all on your own."These are the words of Stephanie Harrison - author, past Director of Learning at Thrive Global, and expert in the science of happiness.In her new book: New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got it Wrong She calls these three lies that emerged in her research,The Old Happy. Old Happy is a definition of happiness, that our society has bought into.Yet Stephanie argues it's making so many of us miserable.Rather than continue to follow this narrative,Clinging to the hope that it will make us happy someday,Stephanie invites us to consider an alternative path that she uncovered through her research into what makes us happy.It’s a path that researchers, theologians, contemplative traditions, and philosophers have all pointed to .A path leading to a more enduring, sustainable form of happiness. The first step on that path is toDiscover who you really are.The second step?Use it to help other people.Today we’ll take a deep dive into these two invitations, what Stephanie calls "The New Happy."In the first half this conversation Stephanie and I will unpack not only how we might approach answering the question:Who are we really? But we'll also look at how we might embrace the answers - Integrating all aspects of who we are (our whole self) as we cultivate a healthy sense of self worth in the process.In the second half we’ll look at:How we can approach our work from a place of greater authenticity and love - Including the art of aligning our unique strengths, gifts, and what we care about most, with the ways in which we serve.Stephanie offers a beautiful reminder That when we come home to who we truly areAnd then use our unique gifts to serveAn entirely different experience of life opens up. And we just might find the happiness we’ve been looking for all along. For more on Stephanie, her book, podcast, and other resources please visit thenewhappy.comDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Unwinding Toxic Productivity | Israa NasirOn Imperfectionism and the Art of Living Well | Oliver BurkemanEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!Thanks for listening!Support the show

In a time where the threat of authoritarianism is on the rise, how might we take the next step toward creating truly equitable and thriving societies?This question, for many, may feel increasingly out of reach.And yet for redemptive thinker, and visionary leader john a. powell,it serves as one of the central lines of inquiry in his work. johh a. powell is the Director of the Othering and Belonging Institute at the University of California, Berkeley, A civil rights advocate, And an author who has written books including: Belonging Without Othering: How We Save Ourselves and the World. Woven throughout his writings and teachings - he brings our attention again and again to the root of inequality. A root born out of the process of 'othering'. A process that primes us to see people as a threat,which leads to fear, disconnection, and the fracturing of our society.And while John addresses the root cause of so much suffering,One of the things I greatly appreciate about his work is that he  simultaneously invites us to consider an alternative path.A way forward that calls upon the better angels of our nature. In his words:“We can overcome the illusion of separateness by honoring our differences, transcending the notion that difference divides us, and instead co-create a world where everyone belongs.”Today we will explore some of John’s profound insights, stories, and practices for increasing belonging which include:Bridging, a practice which fosters acceptance both of those we might have othered, and aspects of ourselvesSpirituality and remembering our interconnected natureCuriosityThe power of presenceAnd ultimately how we can meet others, including ourselves, from a place of love instead of fearFor more on john, his work, and his new book The Power Bridging, please visit johnapowell.orgAnd for more on the incredible work coming out of the othering and belonging institute check out belonging.berkeley.eduDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Wisdom and Love in Troubling Times | Mark Nepo & Elizabeth LesserOn Work, Friendship, and Embracing Impermanence | Parker Palmer & Jerry ColonnaEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!Thanks for listening!Support the show

In times of great division, disruption, and uncertainty, how can we find the ability to stay grounded? While each of us may find we have different answers, Here are a few that have been emerging for me recently:The first - remembering, in the words of one of today’s guests: you don’t have to do it alone. Remembering the power (and necessity) of seeking out supportive community, and friends. The second -turning to history. Gaining perspective and insight by revisiting times in the past where humans have collectively endured, and persevered in the face of tremendous adversity.The third - turning to the wisdom of elders.Seeking out the wise and caring teachers, mentors, and leaders in our communities who are further along the path and can offer guidance from where they stand. Two of these modern elders in many ways are Mark Nepo and Elizabeth Lesser.Chosen as one of OWN's SuperSoul 100, a group of inspired leaders using their gifts and voices to elevate humanity, Mark Nepo is one of the great poets and spiritual guides of our time. And bestselling author, and Co-Founder of Omega Institute, one of the world’s leading conference and retreat centers, Elizabeth Lesser has had the opportunity to learn from, and collaborate with many of the greatest spiritual teachers and leaders around the world. Something she’s done since Omega was first founded in 1977. I asked Elizabeth and Mark if they’d be willing to come together to engage in a rich conversation - sharing some of their own insights, practices, and ultimately what they’ve learned from some of their teachers about navigating troubling times. In today's conversation we'll explore:The possibility of meeting whatever is here, including the grand challenges we are facing, with greater wisdom, balance, and love.For more on Mark please visit marknepo.comFor more on Elizabeth check out elizabethlesser.org, and for more on Omega Institute please visit: eomega.orgI was reminded in this conversation that perhaps the most potent way we might find our way through these times, And back to each other,Is by remembering that at some level we are all made of the same stuff. Each one of us, a human being - part of a larger whole.A reminder which in Mark’s words took this form:“When we come back into direct connection with life,There’s a reverence for life. And when we have a reverence for life we can’t do harm.”Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:Strong Back, Soft Front: The Practice of a Lifetime | Elizabeth LesserFinding the Strength to Meet Adversity | Mark NepoEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks for listening!Support the show

What is it that drives our focus on productivity?That colors our experience of work, life, and relationships? Is the motivation to 'do', to achieve, and to push ourselves driven by a subtle undercurrent of fear?A craving to stay relevant, A whisper in the back of our mind that says: If we don’t optimize our lives, fill up our calendars, and stay busy, we will be missing out on something. Unsure of exactly what, but sensing that that something is important. Perhaps that if we don’t keep up we won’t be happy, or even worse, we won’t matter. If left unchecked this fear can lead to a mindset that today’s guest, talented therapist, founder of digital mental health brand Wellguide, and author, Israa NasirCalls 'Toxic Productivity'  This mindset that is marked by a number of distinct characteristics: Being singularly focused on outcomesFeeling good about yourself only if you get those outcomesDeprioritizing other parts of your life in pursuit of an outcome.Israa shares from her depth of wisdom and expertise that one of the unintended consequences of this mindset is that we can stop thinking about our lives.That curiosity is replaced by just adopting what other people are doing so that we are on par. And so we feel good about ourselves.In today's conversation we are going to dive into Israa’s work, and the Toxic Productivity Mindset in more depth. Together we will explore the possibility of letting go of fear and learning to meet life from a place of love.  Israa and I will unpack questions such as:How we might approach working, living, and loving in ways that bring us fully alive? That actually make us happy?And that are not contingent on outcomes, but rather are driven by curiosity, a love of the process, and of knowing and caring about ourselves more deeply?  For more on Israa’s beautiful book Toxic Productivity, and the incredible work she is doing please visit Israanasir.comDid you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:On Imperfectionism and the Art of Living Well | Oliver BurkemanA Revolutionary Remedy for Uncertainty - In Our 20's and Beyond | Dr. Meg JayEnjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!Thanks for listening!Support the show