HeightsCast: Forming Men Fully Alive

They know we love them; but do our children sense that we like them? And how does that relate to their formation? In the intense season of togetherness that is summer break, headmaster Alvaro de Vicente recommends four practices to help us live more in the present and enjoy our children—even when the anxieties of life come knocking. Chapters: 00:02:17 Distinction between loving and liking 00:06:49 Four tools for cultivating "like": 00:08:02 1. Express triple-gratitude 00:10:45 2. Spend unnecessary time 00:15:25 3. Find the humor 00:17:15 4. Pray for the grace 00:18:38 Why liking them matters 00:22:59 Living in the present: an antidote to anxiety 00:29:12 The "four tools" for teachers 00:35:42 Whether humor belongs in bad situations 00:41:14 Don't take the bad too personally 00:46:03 Emotional stabilizers: marriage, friendship, prayer Links: I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on St. Thérèse de Lisieux by Fr. Jean C. J. D'Elbée Peace Like a River by Leif Enger The Mysterious Case of Rudolf Diesel: Genius, Power, and Deception on the Eve of World War by Douglas Brunt Also on the Forum: Reframing Our Desire to Be Liked featuring Alvaro de Vicente Seeing Our Boys with Loving Eyes: Not Projects but Persons featuring Tom Royals Featured opportunities: Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

Months ago, Heights teacher Joe Lanzilotti took up a prodigious project: reviewing the body of popular literature on boys' education. Partway through his journey, Dr. Lanzilotti catches us up on the diversity of scientific, biological, psychological, and moral perspectives—and how they cohere into a bigger picture of boys and where their developmental needs differ from those of girls. Framing the evidence with papal guidance from the last century gives us a solid starting-point to consider the education of boys according to their nature. Chapters: 00:04:09 The timeline of research on boys 00:08:26 Why attend to the sex difference 00:10:36 Definition of a man: fatherhood, sonship 00:15:06 Sex differences manifest early 00:21:05 The secular evidence supports natural law 00:28:51 The importance of role models 00:32:10 Single-sex education 00:34:55 Athletic trials 00:36:10 Male friendship 00:42:11 The collaboration of men and women 00:50:25 Parents, teachers: be not afraid 00:59:40 Educate boys according to their nature Links: The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine Defending Boyhood by Anthony Esolen No Apologies: Why Civilization Depends on the Strength of Men by Anthony Esolen The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers The Two Sexes: Growing Up Apart, Coming Together by Eleanor Maccoby Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax How to Raise a Boy by Michael Reichert, which Dr. Lanzilotti critiques "Letter to the Bishops on the Collaboration of Men and Women" by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger "Letter to Women" by Pope John Paul II Mulieris Dignitatem by Pope John Paul II The Gurian Institute, training programs on boys' and girls' academic development American Institute for Boys and Men, advocates for evidence-based policy solutions Also on the Forum: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about The Male Brain by Dr. Joseph Lanzilotti Raising the Boys: Saving the Difference by Dr. Joseph Lazilotti Featured opportunities: Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025) January Workshop at The Heights School (January 7-9, 2026) link coming soon May Workshop at The Heights School (May 6-8, 2026) link coming soon

The ever-changing tech landscape and the ever-growing research on interactive screens means that the topic must come up anew year after year. For parents trying to keep pace, Clare Morell has compiled the most up-to-date research into her recent release, The Tech Exit. Armed with the facts and interviews with dozens of Tech Exit families, she encourages parents that it's never too late to reverse course on smartphones. United with other families trying to do the same, we can replace the new "smartphone milestone" with real milestones that emphasize the goods of the real world. Chapters: 00:03:56 Getting the metaphor right 00:08:32 The myth of time limits, parental controls 00:11:24 Boys and online extortion 00:14:23 A culture inherent to smartphone use 00:17:51 A parent's willpower vs. Big Tech 00:22:30 The alternatives: feature phones, landlines 00:31:25 Not your mama's internet 00:34:43 Brain drain: new research on attention, making memories 00:39:41 How to reverse course with teens 00:43:01 The 30-day digital fast 00:47:17 A new digital paradigm: F.E.A.S.T. 00:56:13 Digital accountability in the home 01:00:30 Morell's personal tech use 01:05:22 The father's role 01:09:56 Encouragement to start Links: The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones by Clare Morell The Tech Exit Supplementary Resources by Clare Morell Reset Your Child's Brain by Victoria Dunckley Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt 'Sextortion' Scams Involving Apple Messages Ended in Tragedy for These Boys, 7 June 2025, WSJ How Broken Are Apple's Parental Controls? It Took 3 Years to Fix an X-Rated Loophole, 5 June 2024, WSJ Brain Drain: The Mere Presence of One's Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity, April 2017, UChicago Press Also on the Forum: Dumb Phones, Feature Phones, and the New Tech Landscape featuring Alvaro de Vicente Technology in the Home: Perspective, Principles, and Practices by Michael Moynihan Smart Phones: A New Mythos by George Martin On Self-Mastery, Technology, and Parental Discernment featuring Alvaro de Vicente Smart Phones: Why Wait When He's "The Only One" featuring Joe Cardenas Featured opportunities: Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

In 1858, six-year-old Edgardo Mortara is forcibly removed from his family's home in accordance with civil and canon law. His Jewish family's legal appeal invokes, to great effect, the theology of St. Thomas Aquinas. Dr. Matthew Tapie and former Heights teacher Dr. Lionel Yaceczko join us this week to pull apart this difficult case with the assistance of St. Thomas, who gives a theological basis for parental authority in accordance with natural law—a useful perspective for our culture today. Chapters: 00:04:06 The Mortara Case (1858) 00:11:12 The personality of an original document 00:15:23 The Mortaras' appeal to Thomas Aquinas 00:17:13 Handling difficult history 00:21:36 Thomas Aquinas: natural law and parental duties 00:33:39 Parallel roles of educator, translator 00:39:07 Gradual handoff of parental authority to the child 00:46:06 Why the Mortara Case resurfaces today Links: The Mortara Case and Thomas Aquinas's Defense of Jewish Parental Authority by Dr. Matthew Tapie Dependent Rational Animals: Why Human Beings Need the Virtues by Alasdair MacIntyre Kidnapped: The Abduction of Edgardo Mortara movie (2023) Also on the Forum: The Importance of Ugly History by Mark Grannis Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

In a world competing for our attention, our guest this week admits: "It's probably harder to read novels now than it ever was." But their value cannot be overstated. The novel's unique humanity, its careful and open treatment of the human experience, helps us to develop a sympathetic imagination, tuning our hearts and minds in a way that non-fiction argument simply cannot. Christopher Scalia, author of 13 Novels Conservatives Will Love (but Probably Haven't Read), makes the case that it is a distinctly conservative interest to explore the Western tradition through fiction. Recommendations in hand, he invites adults to refresh their reading list with novels—from the very inception of the form up to the present. Chapters: 1:47 The great book rut 4:11 Novels: the medium of recent Western tradition 5:30 The 18th-century bildungsroman 9:47 "Conservative" themes 16:18 The American dream in My Ántonia 22:39 Miraculous realism in Peace Like a River 29:02 Acknowledging the existence of evil 31:44 Wonder and encounter over strict interpretation 37:03 Revisiting works from your school years 38:47 Why narrative works 42:01 Books that nearly made the cut Links: 13 Novels Conservatives Will Love (but Probably Haven't Read) by Christopher Scalia Christopher J. Scalia at American Enterprise Institute The History of Rasselas by Samuel Johnson (1759) Evelina by Frances Burney (1778) Waverley by Sir Walter Scott (1814) The Blithedale Romance by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1852) Daniel Deronda by George Eliot (1876) My Ántonia by Willa Cather (1918) Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston (1937) The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark (1963) The Children of Men by P. D. James (1992) Peace Like a River by Leif Enger (2001) Gilead by Marilynne Robinson (2004) The Road by Cormac McCarthy (2006) How I Won a Nobel Prize: A Novel by Julius Taranto (2023) Also on the Forum: Heights Forum Book Reviews On Reading Literature by Joseph Bissex Some Summer Reading Recommendations for Teachers by Tom Cox Modern Literature: On Curating the Contemporary featuring Mike Ortiz Guiding Our Boys through Modern Literature featuring Joe Breslin and Lionel Yaceczko Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

As we conclude the school year, parents are turning their sights to summer and the much-anticipated family vacation. We bear such hope for rest and connection on these trips—but we can too easily end up chasing a bucket-list. Head of Mentoring Joe Cardenas offers a timely intervention for our vacation planning, reminding us to plan for people before places. Bringing his own family traditions and Crescite Week experiences to the question, he offers a new set of questions to help us plan and enjoy a truly transformative, restorative vacation for all members of the family. Chapters: 00:02:57 The anti-bucket list approach 00:08:23 "You need a change of soul" 00:10:11 Rest 00:13:46 Linger at table 00:15:18 Soak in a limited itinerary 00:17:10 Build in time for reflection 00:19:53 Better vacation planning questions 00:23:27 See it as a pilgrimage 00:28:33 Plan for people before places 00:34:55 Naturally layer in meaning, traditions 00:42:08 Share the highs and lows 00:45:12 The key: to plan ahead of time Also on the Forum: Three Components of a "Great" Summer featuring Colin Gleason Taking Advantage of Summer (for the Non-Working Boy) by Elias Naegele A Summer Fully Alive by Nate Gadiano Mentoring Sons to a Successful Summer featuring Joe Cardenas Four Ways to Have an Incredible Summer by Tom Steenson Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

As more families scrutinize their post-high school options for virtue and value, the field has perhaps never been wider. Choosing a path carefully, with the right balance of priorities, should be the goal for every high school graduate. Before serving as our headmaster, Mr. Alvaro de Vicente was the Heights college counselor. Over the last few decades, he's witnessed an exciting shift in the way students and their parents can evaluate, prioritize, and choose a path after graduation that serves the whole person well. And while colleges are responding more and more to these good demands, Mr. de Vicente also explores how high schools and employers could keep pace with the changes. Chapters: 2:32 Am I on the education treadmill? 4:16 Purposes of college: personal growth, financial growth 8:32 Keeping the two purposes in proper proportion 12:20 The wider field of alternatives 15:42 How high schools must respond 19:35 Peer groups on the alternative path 24:22 If virtue and value aren't in balance 27:33 The future graduate's options 29:54 The future of hiring Also on the Forum: A Short Guide to the Purposeful College Decision by Alvaro de Vicente 4/25 Advice for the College Launch featuring Alvaro de Vicente 8/24 Considerations for College-Bound Students featuring Dr. Peter Kilpatrick 5/24 The College Experience featuring Dr. Jonathan Sanford Rethinking College: Why Go? How? When? featuring Arthur Brooks 7/2021 Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

Human reason: what is it? How does it cooperate with faith and the will? How can we distinguish between authentic reason and its counterfeits—particularly in an age of relativism, pluralism, scientism, and artificial intelligence? Here to unpack a heavy topic is Fr. Gregory Pine, a Dominican friar, instructor at Dominican House of Studies in Washington, DC. You may recognize his voice as a frequent contributor to podcasts like Godsplaining and Pints with Aquinas. Following a talk with our juniors, Fr. Pine graciously joined us in the studio to offer a wealth of ideas on this natural capacity and inclination to understand God's world. Chapters: 00:05:19 Defining human reason 00:08:23 Modern preference for practical reason 00:12:17 Modern preference for relativism 00:17:18 Faith, reason, and the will assist each other 00:24:05 Teaching apologetics today 00:28:26 Finding truth in a pluralist world 00:34:59 AI: a counterfeit of intellect 00:41:30 AI: an anthropology 00:44:36 Closing thoughts from Arthur Brooks, Thomas Aquinas, and Aristotle Links: Prudence: Choose Confidently, Live Boldly by Fr. Gregory Pine The Dominican House of Studies, home of the Pontifical Faculty and The Thomistic Institute Godsplaining Podcast hosted by the Dominican friars of the Dominican House of Studies Beauty for Truth's Sake by Stratford Caldecott "Why You Should Go with Your Gut" by Arthur Brooks Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)

Prayer is not prescriptive. So how could we hope to teach our children a practice that St. Thérèse called "a surge of the heart"? Lower school head Colin Gleason suggests that it's about creating opportunities and options, so that our sons can naturally make a life of prayer their own. In his talk from our Parenting Conference in April, Mr. Gleason lays out ten very practical ways to sow the seeds of prayer into our family's daily routines—in formal and spontaneous ways. He ends by reminding us that prayer is not a program. It is an orientation. And whatever we parents approach with consistency and sincerity, "the house will be filled with the fragrance of it" (cf. John 12:3). Chapters: 00:05:28 Prayer as a relationship 00:09:53 A family plan for daily prayer 00:12:30 Introducing them to mental prayer 00:15:00 The Psalms: a handbook 00:20:37 Making opportunities and options 00:24:20 Asking them to pray for us 00:26:57 Stories for the prayer imagination 00:29:52 Prayer journals 00:31:07 Discussing prayer 00:32:46 Prayer in our daily activities 00:35:27 Making a prayer spot 00:37:32 Clearing obstacles, preparing the ground Featured opportunities: Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025) Also on the Forum: Forming Men of Faith by Alvaro de Vicente Forming Families, Forming Saints featuring Fr. Carter Griffin

We often speak of a pedagogical friendship between teacher and student: the earnest desire for the student's good, the collaborative adventure through difficult material, and the trust built thereby. But we shouldn't oversimplify this friendship: it's not merely to be liked by our students. From rookie teachers to decades-long veterans, we can all feel that pull to be the "favorite teacher." But what kind of frameworks should we keep in mind as we serve our students well? This week, Heights Headmaster Alvaro de Vicente unpacks the very human desire to be liked, the perils of seeking popularity, and what our students really need from us. Chapters: 00:03:16 The student is not for your gain 00:05:18 Including social-emotional gains 00:11:10 Practical pitfalls of seeking popularity 00:15:31 Why we want to be liked 00:19:21 Give the respect you want 00:21:46 Like your students 00:26:03 Where to find stable satisfaction Featured opportunities: Parents Conference: Fostering Our Sons' Faith at The Heights School (April 12, 2025) Teaching Essentials Workshop at The Heights School (June 16-20, 2025) Also on the Forum: Respectful Dominion: On Discipline featuring Colin Gleason Order and Surprise: On Beauty and the Western Tradition featuring Lionel Yaceczko