The Art of Charm

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #47! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend. To mix things up a little, AJ joins us for this episode!In this episode:What's the difference between confidence and arrogance, and how can you make sure you're gaining the former while losing the latter?How can you slow your roll and stop habitually falling madly in love on first dates?Should you get romantically involved with an old flame who's "only" separated?What do you do when your best friend's spouse seems to hate you?How should you address self-deprecation while flirting?Is there any way to atone for awkward interactions you've had in the past with people who frequent your usual haunts?When you stop fretting about figuring out your life's passion, it may just find you. Channel your energy into more play time and watch this video!Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-47-self-deprecation-and-arrogance/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cal Newport (@calnewport) shows us how to cultivate meaningful and successful working lives while debunking the "follow your passion" advice that lesser professors peddle to the masses. The Cheat Sheet: Why is "follow your passion" bad advice -- and what are some better alternatives? The traits that make work great are rare and valuable -- so you need rare and valuable skills (career capital) in the workplace. How does cognitive residue significantly reduce our cognitive capacity (and how can we lessen its impact in our modern world of countless distractions)? Understand the difference between a craftsman mindset and a passion mindset -- and which will serve you better. Working right trumps finding the right work. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cal-newport-so-good-they-cant-ignore-you-episode-482/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cameron Herold (@CameronHerold) tells us how we can double our revenue and profit in three years or less in his book Double Double.The Cheat Sheet:What's the real harm in a serial entrepreneur's lack of focus?Sometimes, working backwards is the best way forward.What does R&D really stand for?Learn why you should work on your B team to make them A players and lose the C players.Focus your learning on what's coming next.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/cameron-herold-double-double-episode-481/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #46! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! Kim Seltzer joins Jordan in this episode to offer a genuine therapist's perspective. Enjoy!In this episode:What dating advice do we have for a couple in a 14-year marriage who just decided to start swinging?How do you deal with a workplace bully who stalks you, threatens violence against you, tries to sabotage your career, and makes you wary of trusting anyone?Is a confident, married wingwoman hurting her single friends' chances at romance more than she's helping them?How do you get your best friend to stop idealizing and pining for his ex-girlfriend and move on with his life?What do you do when you've given up on all religions, but only seem to  attract women who have strong ties to their faith?What's the benefit of outdressing your colleagues (especially when your colleagues dress like day-drinking beach drifters)?How do you fix sabotaging self-talk? Jordan talks about it in this latest video.Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-46-outdressing-your-bullies/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) practices and teaches the skills of learning to love wholeheartedly by looking at what gets in the way, and discusses her book Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love.The Cheat Sheet:There are five natural stages through which romantic relationships cycle: The Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, Decision, and Wholehearted Love.Why does "falling in love" make us do crazy things?When your relationship winds up in an anxiety-fueled loop, how can you break out?What does Linda recommend for spicing up a perfunctory sex life?Understand these three components of good sex: desire, arousal, and orgasm.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/linda-carroll-love-cycles-episode-480/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Caskey and Bryan Neale (@advancedselling) of The Advanced Selling Podcast show us we don't have to be in sales to master our "inner game" mindset and get what we want out of life.The Cheat Sheet:Whether we realize it or not, we're all in sales -- no matter what we're trying to accomplish.Understand that your philosophy has an impact on your words and results.Learn how the age-old concept of detachment gives you the power in virtually any situation -- and makes you attractive to your audience.Discover what amateurs say and sound like -- and how to be professional in what you do.Check out this language framework to use in your next meaningful conversation.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bill-caskey-and-bryan-neale-advanced-selling-episode-479/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #45! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How can you objectively qualify relationship red flags in your own situation when your people-pleasing tendencies have blurred the current boundaries on which that relationship was founded?How do you build your socializing and friendship skills up when depression has made you take a long hiatus from being around people?To what extent should one allow the workplace to touch one's personal life (especially when one-sided romantic interest pierces the usual veil of professionalism)?They say practice makes perfect -- are you missing out on this practice by not dating casually when you've made a choice to wait until you're more ready to settle down?What advice does a former kidnapping victim have for someone who keeps getting "manjacked?"If you know you're moving to another country soon, is it wrong to lead on "a sure thing" without telling them?How can practicing gratitude change your life forever?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-45-red-flag-intervention/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maria Konnikova (@mkonnikova) shows us how we can defend ourselves against would-be con artists and use the same principles for more benign purposes in her new book The Confidence Game.The Cheat Sheet:As it turns out, you can fool an honest man. But cynics -- by their own overconfidence in being savvy and "scamproof" -- are just as susceptible to deception. Technology and the abundance of information most of us freely surrender to the Internet makes the con artist's job easier than ever before.What type of person becomes a con artist?How can we avoid getting scammed?Understand how belief works, why we over-believe in some things (even when we have no evidence for them), and how this plays into our susceptibility to deception.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/maria-konnikova-the-confidence-game-episode-478/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) gives us a blueprint to follow, based on game mechanics and nerd culture, to finally accomplish things in our lives we've always wanted but never found the time for in his first book, Level Up Your Life.The Cheat Sheet:Stuck in a rut? Need to get in shape and add more adventure to your life? Take your own hero's journey and stop letting fictional characters have all the fun.What is The Progress Principle, and how does it help us stay motivated in pursuit of larger goals?How can you ensure you'll return to your hero's journey when you occasionally falter (as most mere mortals do from time to time)?Life is a multiplayer game.Learn how to identify and quantify your fear, and then take action and use that fear to succeed.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steve-kamb-level-up-your-life-episode-477/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #44! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!Because Jordan is out of town, Kim Seltzer joins Jason for today's Fan Mail Friday!In this episode:How does someone with Tourette syndrome make good first impressions?How do you break up with someone who has mental health issues?What do you do when you're happy with where you live, but your spouse wants to move to a city that's a thousand miles away?How does a woman who already has a boyfriend make new platonic male friends without leading anyone on?How does someone who's been out of the dating scene for a while due to self-confidence issues get back into it -- especially in an unfamiliar town?What really creates attraction? (And what do you do when you find yourself constantly attracted to the "wrong" people?)Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-44-data-dating/HELP US SPREAD THE WORD!If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need.Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereviewStay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices