The Art of Charm

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week we tackle one of the most overused words today: gratitude. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you repeat something enough, it often loses its meaning. Through overuse, "gratitude" seems to be one of the latest casualties of this phenomenon. But done right, gratitude is one of the most powerful tools we have for life improvement -- it's one of the straightest and shortest paths to happiness and connection, and it utilizes thankfulness for things we already have rather than goading us toward what's currently out of reach. The word thanks comes from the Old English thanc, which means thought or gratitude. But it's also related to the Latin tongere, which means to know. So to thank is really to know. To know someone and to know yourself -- to know what they did for you and to know how it affected you. We can't really summon the powers of gratitude if we're just going through the motions -- we have to remind ourselves of the reasons we have to be grateful. Try to remember what a friend did for you recently. Think about valuable lessons you've taken away from a tough learning process. Even remembering an exceptionally delicious meal you've had -- these are all things you know and can be used to plant the seed of gratitude. Once we start thinking of gratitude as a kind of knowing, we can work with it in our everyday lives. Knowing gives us three things: a way to keep us focused on the good in our lives, a way to stay connected with people in our network, and a way to express generosity. Gratitude is transformative -- it allows us to accept even negative truths as gifts and learn from them. It's facing our problems and growing from the sometimes hard lessons rather than ignoring or denying that problems exist. If you can feel a curiosity -- maybe even a little excitement about what you might gain from any situation -- then you're already tapping into your gratitude. Start saying "yes" to everything on a cognitive level. Accept things as they are rather than how you wish they were. Take a moment to reflect on what went well every day. It will go from a deliberate practice to something that's automatic. Communicate with those who make you grateful. Take 30 seconds to send your friend or colleague a text, an email, or a handwritten note to thank them for whatever way they made your life better. If you're looking for a way to maintain good connections and building social capital in your network, this may just top the list. To learn more about social dynamics and the place of gratitude, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-20-even-monday-deserves-gratitude/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to strike a balance between a no-strings-attached friendship and a relationship to benefit from the best of both worlds? How can you turn your good ideas into a business when you're always being pressured into taking dead end jobs just to make ends meet? Does using profanity make you cool as #*$&? Is there any way to remain a friend with your best friend's significant other when they aggressively pursue you for...more than friendship? Is "you have to tell them like it is or they will walk all over you" really an efficacious customer relations strategy? A quick shoutout to Kady T (not her real name), who listens to AoC while trying to find a new home and launch a business while she raises her 11-month-old baby in a shelter for abused women. Next time you think your life is overwhelming, remember Kady T! For what it's worth, AoC has your back, Kady. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-81-is-profanity-cool/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into the art of crafting the perfect elevator pitch, crucial for making unforgettable introductions. Discover the Tornado Technique to streamline your message and convey emotional value. Gain insights on practicing in low-pressure settings to boost your confidence. Learn how self-reflection can evolve your pitch over time, ensuring it stays fresh and relevant. Plus, explore the impact of non-verbal cues and enthusiasm in leaving a lasting impression while networking.

Penn Jillette (@pennjillette) is the vocal half of comic magician duo Penn & Teller and author of Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales. The Cheat Sheet: The role of flow (or autopilot) in high-level performing. Why Penn & Teller are constantly pushed and driven to innovate. Why it's important to question the things we want to believe the most. How tough love should play into the creative process when you're collaborating with someone you respect. Does moderation deserve respect? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/penn-jillette-presto-episode-549/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. Let's get to it!: The Cheat Sheet: What can you do if the bad behavior of a friend is reinforced every time you pick up the slack for them? The roles we play in the lives of others directly affect the nature of our relationships. You can't go outside without a jacket in the middle of winter and blame the weather for being too cold. We may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. In short: don't try to change other people. Change the role you play in their life. By changing your role, you take control and accept your own actions and consequences. To learn more about social dynamics and taking control in the roles we play in the lives of others, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-19-relationship-roles/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: In a relationship, can trust be rebuilt once broken? More important: should it be? A self-described alpha female has been trying Kimberly Seltzer's dating advice, but it seems to be backfiring. What's the deal? Do men really love "bitches?" (Her word, not ours!) Do you find yourself constantly getting placed into positions of leadership by others? Is it really possible to get left holding the ladder...for yourself? Do you ever create scenarios or situations you may encounter with others and try to solve them before they actually exist -- and does this lead to false judgments and misunderstandings? How do you continue to work with someone who is insecure, insincere, and threatened by you, but is definitely not going anywhere because the CEO believes in him? Quick shoutouts to Joshua Francium from Indiana -- who listens to AoC on his morning commutes -- and architect Michael Robin in Shanghai, who listens while he designs buildings! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Jordan will be speaking at Thrive — the for-purpose entrepreneur event — in San Diego this year! If you want to go, grab a ticket here and use promo code AOC for 20% off! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-80-should-broken-trust-be-rebuilt/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Srdja Popovic (@SrdjaPopovic) is the author of Blueprint for Revolution: How to Use Rice Pudding, Lego Men, and Other Nonviolent Techniques to Galvanize Communities, Overthrow Dictators, or Simply Change the World. The Cheat Sheet: What do revolutions and businesses have in common? Why nonviolence is more popular (and more effective). Why there are no charismatic leaders in the most successful revolutions. How to make a revolution cool by using comedy. How was '90s Serbia like Middle Earth in the era of The Lord of The Rings (Hobbits and all)? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/srdja-popovic-blueprint-for-revolution-episode-548/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mark Manson (@IAmMarkManson) returns to the show to talk about his new book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life -- available today! F-bomb alert level: juicy orange. The Cheat Sheet: Conventional life advice -- all that positive, happy, self-help stuff we hear all the time -- is actually fixating on what you lack and making you unhappy. Always assume you're wrong: if you're embarrassed about things you held to be true and dear 10 years ago, it stands to reason that things you hold true and dear today will be embarrassing 10 years from now. What The Feedback Loop from Hell is -- and why it's making you miserable. How you can use The Backwards Law to get out of the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to others. How The Self-Awareness Onion can lead you to a great understanding of yourself and your relationships. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mark-manson-counterintuitive-approach-episode-547/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you find your default mode is negative, how do you snap out of it? I use something called the Three Positive Things drill. This is not the same as what I usually dismiss about the positive thinking camp. When something bad happens, it's easy to complain. So I challenge you to do this instead: force yourself to think of three positive things about what's bothering you. You can't control an event, but you can control your reaction to it. For example, when I got water all over my pants in the airport washroom before a 14-hour flight, I considered: 1) my pants were actually kind of waterproof, 2) I got a funny story out of it, and 3) I didn't get any on my new shoes, so it wasn't really a big deal. It may sound ridiculous, but the Three Positive Things Drill actually forces your logical brain to reach (sometimes pretty far) for the inobvious and distracts your emotional brain from getting upset. It also helps you build habits that make you a more positive person in your daily life. To learn more about social dynamics and developing good habits that will have a positive impact on your life, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-18-three-positive-things-drill/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Feel like your resume is lacking in experience? Show 'em what you can build. More listener endorsements for the virtues of dual enrollment (something we wish we'd found out about sooner)! A listener brings some great advice to the "why do bad bosses happen to good employees?" discussion from Fan Mail Friday #76. When you're just starting out in the entertainment industry, how do you mingle and network with the rich and successful in your field when you barely have two pennies to your name? [Relevant reference: Nev Medhora | How to Crash Parties and Grow Your Network (Episode 390)] Two years into a mostly perfect relationship in which you motivate each other to be your best selves -- but the sex just doesn't happen as much as it used to. What do you do? Quick shoutouts to: Dena -- James Swanwick's girlfriend who listens to AoC religiously and says it's just slightly better than his podcast -- and Kevin Rapp (happy belated birthday)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-79-if-you-build-it-they-will-hire/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices