The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Like our new show music? It's Start Shootin' by Little People. As a freelancer, how do you politely ask current clients for referrals? [Related: Boomerang] Is it wrong to leave the door open to a relationship that's been broken by the presence of a psychotic alter-ego? How does someone go about getting audio testimonials from satisfied customers (as we do for our AoC Bootcamps)? [Related: Alex Kouts] How would James Bond make a smooth transition to the private sector -- and explain a lack of social media presence to a potential employer? Advice for overcoming cold calling fear. [Related: episode 554 with Daniel Pink, author of To Sell Is Human, Bill Guertin's The 800-Pound Gorilla of Sales, and various books by Jeb Blount] If you're in a relationship that ever makes you feel in danger, you'll want to hear our interview with Gavin de Becker Pt. 1 and Pt. 2. Check out Jordan's other show on PodcastOne: The Forbes List. Shoutouts to Jeff and Tim! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf105/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Clint Emerson (@100deadlyskills) is a retired Navy SEAL, founding partner of crisis management and risk mitigation company Escape the Wolf, and author of 100 Deadly Skills: Survival Edition: The SEAL Operative's Guide to Surviving in the Wild and Being Prepared for Any Disaster. The Cheat Sheet: How much of a SEAL's life is training, and how much is spent in active deployment? How can we spot potential terrorists in the making? What's an express kidnapping, and what can you do if you find yourself in the middle of one? What are the four tiers of awareness? How do you make yourself inconspicuous (or "grey") in public places to avoid scrutiny from people who mean you harm? And so much more... Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/598/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mike Rowe (@mikeroweworks) of Dirty Jobs fame joins us to talk about the skills gap, authenticity, and life experiences possible outside the comfort zone. Just don't tell him he's following his passion. The Cheat Sheet: Did you know Mike Rowe started his show business career in opera -- to get women? What are Anagnorisis and Peripeteia? Discover how Mike broke a pattern of commodity hosting by approaching the profession as a tradesman. Bromide busting and the problems with conventional wisdom. Why finding and filling a niche may ultimately be better than chasing what you think is your dream job. And so much more... Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is important to you and filters out what isn't. Visit sanebox.com/artofcharm today and you'll get an extra $25 credit on top of the two-week free trial! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/597/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, guest James Clear rejoins us to talk about how pre-commitment (aka implementation intentions) can make following through with a plan more likely. The Cheat Sheet: "Amateurs do things when it's easy -- when they feel motivated to do them. Professionals do things on a schedule." -James Clear Pre-commitment (aka implementation intentions) is the idea that if you lay out a plan for implementing your behavior with a very specific time, place, and location, you're much more likely to follow through. In one particular study, ninety percent of the group that made made a pre-commitment with implementation intentions were compliant with their goal. Discover how Jordan uses the pre-commitment to implementation intentions in his own schedule to get what some consider an outrageous amount of things done every week. (This applies to work as well as leisure.) To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm43/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead), author of Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist, rejoins the show to tell us how our audience scored in her Fascination Advantage Assessment. You'll be as surprised as she was when you hear the results! The Cheat Sheet: Personality Danger Zones -- understanding how other people see us and maximizing the chances of making a positive first impression. The upsides and downsides to creativity. How positive attributes can translate into pitfalls. Do you partake of "idea snobbery?" What patterns do Art of Charm listeners have most in common? And so much more... Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sally-hogshead-fascination-advantage-assessment-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A recovering smart alec wonders how to get a second chance at a bad first impression. Zooming out on talent to see the skill beneath. How do you become so interesting that people can't help but befriend you, hire you, and line up around the block to get your attention? A close friend suddenly stops responding to every effort at contact -- how can you find out what went wrong? When you're a child of the world, your hybrid accent is nothing to be ashamed of. When you've been burned in past relationships, how do you get over the "there are no good [women/men]" fallacy? [Related: Kimberly Seltzer's advice for How to Find a Therapist] Shoutouts to Konrad -- who used negotiation tactics he learned at AoC while working on The Paris Agreement -- and Xana, who benefits most from our Minisode Monday episodes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! What's the art of mastering the nap? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness Podcast here once you're done hitting the snooze button for the 17th time! The Forbes List with Jordan Harbinger is a new show that reveals the details behind Forbes' lists that don't make it to the magazine or online. You'll get a deeper look at what it takes to put together Forbes' lists of the top companies, wealthiest people, and biggest celebrities in the world. Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf104/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jessica Tracy (@ProfJessTracy) is a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, where she also directs the Emotion & Self Lab. She is the author of Take Pride: Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success. The Cheat Sheet: Pride is a universal human emotion and a force that can be harnessed to help humans succeed -- it's a key ingredient to confidence. Understand the difference between hubristic and authentic pride -- why we should seek out one but try to minimize the other. Learn how pride intersects with grit (per episode 526 guest Angela Duckworth). Identify pride to gain an advantage in shifting our own behavior and knowing how to react to others. Discover how the statuses of dominance and prestige are affected by pride. And so much more... Over at the Mind Pump Podcast, hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano “pull back the curtain on the mythology, snake oil, and pseudo-science that pervades the fitness industry." Check it out here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/596/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joi Ito (@joi) is the director of the MIT Media Lab, a professor of practice in media arts and sciences at MIT, and co-author of Whiplash: How to Survive Our Faster Future. [Photo by Andy Ryan] "Education is what people do to you, and learning is what you do to yourself." -Joi Ito The Cheat Sheet: How does someone who dropped out of college three times wind up directing a lab at MIT? The pros and cons of formal learning vs. informal learning. Why does diversity make for better problem solving? What's the secret to building a deep and diverse network? What do running a World of Warcraft guild and spinning records as a club DJ have to do with motivating groups and accomplishing big goals? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/595/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we talk about the pointless habit we all have of mentally reliving embarrassing moments in our lives and what we can do to stop it. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: There are times when we all mull over embarrassing moments from our past. Like worrying, it's a pointless exercise. Ivan Pavlov proved that he could anchor a dog's feelings to stimuli. As humans, we're even better at doing this to ourselves. We beat ourselves up over a story we've built around a feeling and reinforce this negative pattern. The challenge: every time you start mulling over an event that makes you feel bad about yourself, try to remind yourself of a moment in which you triumphed -- an event that made you feel good. Try to think of something new each week that's positive and helpful toward breaking the habit of gravitating toward the negative. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm42/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Lee Dumas (@johnleedumas) is the founder and host of EOFire, an award-winning podcast where he chats with today's most successful entrepreneurs seven days a week -- with over 1400 interviews under his belt. How is he so productive? He shares some of his secrets with us here. The Cheat Sheet: How does John stay focused enough to put out a new podcast every single day and have a life? Does social media promote de-evolution? Where does John find new books to read (and what's been worth reading twice)? How does John cultivate the discipline to fight back against weapons of mass distraction? John shares some literal war stories. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/john-lee-dumas-discipline-mastery-bonus/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices