The Art of Charm

Are you resilient? Resilience -- true grit -- has to last in order to be real. That's what we're going to explore in this toolbox: how to build real and lasting grit. [Photo by Lewis Wickes Hine] The Cheat Sheet: The jolt of purpose sometimes masquerades as its more complicated and permanent cousin, grit. Is there a formula for grit? How does adversity affect grit? Grit isn't a technical skill or a fixed framework -- it's a process. To what end is grit about us and the way we think vs. what life hands over to us? And so much more... Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Fan Club Podcast -- brought to you by Viacom and hosted by Ross Martin -- is a six-episode exploration of why we love what we love. Check it out here! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/620/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabrielle Reece (@GabbyReece) has been a volleyball player, a model, an actress, a television personality, a mom, a community servant, author of My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life, and now a podcaster on The Truth Barrel with Gabrielle Reece and Neil Strauss. "Do you want to cry that you have low cards, or do you want to play your high cards and get on with it?" -Gabrielle Reece The Cheat Sheet: How is becoming a mother like "flipping a switch?" Gabrielle is tough. But did you know she's cooking chili for Owen Wilson while in the early stages of labor tough? After two decades of (not always perfect) marriage to big wave surfer Laird Hamilton, what advice does Gabrielle have for people with big personalities in relationships with other big personalities? Understand what Gabrielle means when she says there's "great strength in yielding." What does Gabrielle consider her most selfish indulgence? And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/619/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever get upset by rude comments on the Internet? In this Minisode Monday, we share an effective strategy for dealing with this that we learned from Jay Baer, author of Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: You can post anything online -- videos of puppies eating birthday cake -- and someone will eventually show up to leave a hateful or hurtful comment. If you're immune to the impact of anonymous rudeness on the Internet, you're better than most of us. But if you're not, Jay Baer recommends a simple strategy: treat your haters like toddlers. Think about it: if you're enjoying yourself at a dinner party and your host's three-year-old wanders into the room and makes fun of your pants, you probably won't care. We don't tend to give toddlers much credit for having an informed opinion about anything, nor do we rely on their sense of taste. So would we get upset at a toddler and try to "set them straight" in such a situation? Next time someone brings you down on purpose, tries to sabotage you, or makes you feel small in some way, just think of that hater as a toddler -- and treat him or her accordingly. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, All of the Above, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-54-treat-your-haters-like-toddlers/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. As a bonus, screenwriter and BFF Gabriel Mizrahi joins us for this one. Let's cut to it! Where's the line between a stretch and a lie if you're following the "fake it 'til you make it" strategy? [Related: Jesse Itzler | The 100 Mile Man (Episode 466)] If you feel aimless and don't like college or the job you're working now, have you considered learning a trade? [Related: Mike Rowe | The Way I Heard It (Episode 597)] How do you make friends with people in your own age group when you mentally feel a decade more mature than all of them? [Related: Dual Enrollment Programs: The Pros and Cons] Are you blaming your significant other for your own failures, or is their lack of ambition pulling you down? How should you deal with lazy or non-contributing team members who make your job harder -- especially when the boss seems to actively avoid conflict? How can you thrive in your dream job when the working relationship with your immediate superior is kind of a nightmare? Quick shoutouts to Maya of Real Men Wear Pink who uses tips from the show to drum up sponsorship dollars, and mechanic Danny P. who works on cars while listening to AoC! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can reach out to Gabriel on the Twitter here. Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf115/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Peter McGraw (@petermcgraw) is an associate professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Colorado Boulder, founder of the Humor Research Lab (HuRL), and co-author of The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny. The Cheat Sheet: Humor is ubiquitous -- amusement and laughter are present in all cultures and many non-human mammals. Humor: what is it good for? What are the risks and rewards of humor? Is there a connection between laughter and memory? Can humor be taught? And so much more... If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! Save money on travel and get a free Amazon gift card every time you use Upside! Enter the code FORBES at checkout here and you're guaranteed a free $200 Amazon gift card your first time (minimum purchase required)! Stop wearing shirts that don't fit. Start looking your best. Go to propercloth.com/charm and enter gift code charm to save $20 on your first shirt! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/618/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) is the Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium and author of number one New York Times Bestseller Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. "As the area of your knowledge grows, so too does the perimeter of your ignorance." -Neil deGrasse Tyson The Cheat Sheet: How does a seasoned scientist maintain childlike curiosity? Understand the power of science to transcend bias. Find out why Neil didn't have typical public speaking jitters when he gave his first lecture at age fifteen. Do you have to be a math wizard to pursue science? What enlightened leadership (from either side of the aisle) understands about the value of science -- and why science denial has surged so dramatically in recent years. And so much more... Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Bombfell is an online personal styling service for men that helps find the right clothes for you. Complete a simple questionnaire to be matched with a dedicated personal stylist. For $25 off your first box purchase, visit bombfell.com/charm! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/neil-degrasse-tyson-astrophysics-for-people-in-a-hurry-episode-617/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week, Reach author Andy Molinsky rejoins us to talk about the creative ways we manage avoidance of things we don't want to do -- and what we can do to break the habit. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Avoid the task entirely. Structuring our lives around the tasks we want to avoid. Example: staying away from networking events, even if we know we could benefit from going to them. Doing the task, but only part way. Accomplishing the part of a task that's slightly more comfortable than the rest of it. Example: Going to a networking event, but making an excuse for leaving early. Replacing the task. Convincing ourselves that doing an easier task makes up for the task we don't want to do. Example: Being active in social media because we don't want to go to networking events. Procrastinating. Putting off tasks so we can avoid doing them until later (or possibly never). Example: Not responding to networking event invitations in time to actually make the events. Passing the buck. Having someone else do the task we don't want to do. Example: Sending an assistant to the networking event we'd rather avoid. Rationalizing that the task's not important anyway. Example: Telling ourselves we don't need networking events because our own hard work will ensure success. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! To truly thrive in all areas of your life, you can't ignore the importance of good health. Try Organifi Green Juice for 20% off using code "charm" when checking out at organifi.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, All of the Above, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-53-creative-avoidance/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: You can't keep score when just one out of ten people might help you back (especially in Los Angeles). But you shouldn't take it personally, either. Remember: boundaries are important, and you have to be professional when it's time to get paid for your work. [Related: The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield and Shawn Coyne] Would you trade back the way you blew off your friends when you got a taste of success just to have taco Tuesday with the guys again? [Related: How to Give a Proper Apology] In the tech world, how do you ensure the path of a creator instead of constantly falling into the role of a maintainer? [Related: Chris Guillebeau | Born for This (Episode 501)] Looking to get organized with the way you spend your days? Here are some tips for blocking out time on your calendar. How many books do we read every week? We've been getting some negative attention on our iTunes page lately. If you like what we do, could you please leave us a nice review? Here’s how! Quick shoutouts to Paul Kahoro and Chase Jarvis! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's (@TheArtofCharm) other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf114/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lisa Feldman Barrett (@lfeldmanbarrett) is the Director of IASLab at Northeastern University, an innovator in the field of psychology, and one of the world's foremost researchers on emotion. Her new book, How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, is out now. The Cheat Sheet: New science is telling us that emotions aren't hard-wired into our brains and universal -- they're very much affected by the cultures in which they develop. Affective Realism: how our brain predicts what we think we're hearing and seeing, and how this affects our behavior. Do thoughts control feelings? How have scientists stipulated -- rather than discovered -- the notion of universal expressions that leads to often inaccurate stereotypes? Learn how we can expand our emotional palate to become more adept at describing and feeling more nuanced emotions and feelings. And so much more... Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Fan Club Podcast -- brought to you by Viacom and hosted by Ross Martin -- is a six-episode exploration of why we love what we love. Check it out here! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/lisa-feldman-barrett-how-emotions-are-made-episode-616/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Isaac Lidsky (@isaaclidsky) is the only blind person to serve as a law clerk for the U.S. Supreme Court. He's also an entrepreneur, he was once a child actor on a popular '90s sitcom, and now he's the bestselling author of Eyes Wide Open: Overcoming Obstacles and Recognizing Opportunities in a World That Can't See Clearly. "The world's going to change a million times between A and Z. You will, as well." -Isaac Lidsky The Cheat Sheet: Understand why Isaac Lidsky considers going blind in his twenties a "blessing." Learn how Isaac's personal vision grew sharper even as his eyesight faded. Discover how our brains construct reality based on our own mental models -- some of which we can control. Explore how to reframe luck and events that seem negative to work to our advantage. Sign up for Isaac's free bonus workbook to transfer the content of this show into actionable insights for making progress toward your own goals every week. And so much more... A gift from the heart is always worth giving -- like farm-to-table and artisan florist bouquets from bouqs.com. Art of Charm listeners enter promo code CHARM to get 20% off! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Want to wash two loads and dry two loads of laundry at the same time? The new Wi-Fi enabled Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry washer and dryer pair can do it -- and you can get it now at The Home Depot! If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/isaac-lidsky-eyes-wide-open-episode-615/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices