The Art of Charm

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the factors that lead to self-sabotage, the self-perpetuating consequences, and what we can do to put a stop to the whole mess. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Do you agonize over the limited time available to deal with your workload -- or overall lifeload? When we're overwhelmed, a lot of things get swept under the rug. We're compelled to procrastinate, and whatever's left undone begins to build up -- which leaves us even more stressed and overwhelmed. We compare ourselves with people we know who seem to have it all together -- and our self-worth suffers as we fail to live up to what we believe should be possible. Why does this cycle of self-sabotage happen and how can we identify and put a stop to it? Some suggestions: eliminate distraction, change your environment, use the pomodoro technique, and try James Clear's two-minute rule. Here are some episodes related to self-sabotage and what we gain by defeating it: Nir Eyal | Hooked on Technology (Episode 431) Cal Newport | Deep Work (Episode 515) Tim Urban | Wait But Why (Episode 522) Barbara Oakley | Learning How to Learn (Episode 440) James Clear | Mental Models (Episode 592) To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Fully Booked, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm46/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What are some tactics we can use to handle over-talkers short of hiring an orchestra to play them off? Does a lack of college education really put you at a disadvantage with your peers once you've already established competence in your field? [Related: Joi Ito | How to Survive Our Faster Future (Episode 595) and There vs. They're vs. Their] What's the childhood story behind why Jordan became so interested in what makes people tick? Are you at the whim of your insecurities? [Related: Mike Rowe | The Way I Heard It (Episode 597)] Tip: If you're trying to change careers or you're looking for a job, consider spending a little to get professional photos for your website, LinkedIn, etc. A shout out to the Stance sock company who heard Jordan's personal endorsement a few weeks ago and sent him some new socks for free! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. We Are Podcast 2017 is happening in Brisbane, Australia this November 2-4. Will Jordan see you there? Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Do you take over-the-counter medicine on a regular basis? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness Podcast here to learn about natural alternatives to common medications! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf107/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shaquille O'Neal (@SHAQ) has been retired from basketball for almost six years, but he's still got his irons in plenty of fires. Here, we'll discuss everything from superheroes to law enforcement to business to sports to podcasting to -- yes -- the Flat Earth Theory. "It's never gotten out of control because even to this day I don't consider myself a celebrity." -Shaquille O'Neal The Cheat Sheet: What real-world experience Shaq is getting to prepare for a political race in 2020. How Shaq assembled what he calls The Panel to help manage not only his career but all his important life decisions -- and how you can do the same. Why Shaq doesn't consider himself a celebrity (and why that still isn't a good reason to bug him in the middle of dinner). How Shaq manages his emotions so he stays non-reactive on and off the court. Does Shaq really believe in the Flat Earth Theory? And so much more... Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is important to you and filters out what isn't. Visit sanebox.com/artofcharm today and you'll get an extra $25 credit on top of the two-week free trial! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/602/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) is a comedy writer/producer/director, co-creator of Chappelle's Show, and most recently featured in his live stand-up solo show 3 Mics now at Netflix. "A buddy of mine calls me Benjamin Button 'cause he says I'm doing my career backwards." -Neal Brennan The Cheat Sheet: How did Neal Brennan's 3 Mics show come about, and what's the idea behind it's three parts: one-liners, emotional stuff, and stand-up? The comedy writing process and how it mirrors real life. A mindset to get a more realistic handle on the potential outcome of a given project or situation. Tips on getting happy from a guy who's tried everything -- and why achievement can't be a substitute for happiness. When networking, remember Neal's sage words: "No one's going to help you in a way that's not beneficial to them." And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/601/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Ryan Michler (@orderofman) of Order of Man joins us to discuss how we can apply The After Action Review to better process -- and learn from -- our mistakes and successes. The Cheat Sheet: The After Action Review is a debriefing process that helps process recent successes and failures in order to learn from them. It consists of asking five questions: What did I get accomplished? What did I not accomplish? What did I do well? What did I not do well? What can I do better next time? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Rob Has a Podcast, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm45/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! In this episode: If high school and college didn't give you the best years of your life, it just means "the good old days" are probably still ahead. Are you lazy, disenchanted by a lack of challenges, or just afraid to fail? Have you considered the merits of self-deprecation? Criticism loses its potential for being constructive if it's not specific enough. Will your actions make the boat go faster? Relationships in the age of social media can be tricky, as we talked about in FMF 102. Did you know that Facebook has breakup tools? Jennie has a brilliant tip for people who are running late. Wasted potential is depressing. Quick shoutouts to Andrew Byrne and Jordan Laverty! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Check out Jordan's other show: The Forbes List, and Jason's other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. What's the art of mastering the nap? Check out the Ben Greenfield Fitness Podcast here once you're done hitting the snooze button for the 17th time! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf106/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brett McKay (@artofmanliness) is the founder of Art of Manliness, one of the largest independent men's lifestyle sites on the Web. Similarities in the naming schemes between AoM and AoC are purely coincidental! The Cheat Sheet: What is manliness? What are the domains -- the hard and soft skills -- an aspiring well-rounded man should develop? Why men of any culture should strive to be useful, not important. How to increase resilience by challenging your faulty "Me, Always, Everything" style of thinking. Why action -- and not getting stuck in your own head -- is the key to flourishing. And so much more... Want to reach the fabled inbox zero? SaneBox learns what email is important to you and filters out what isn't. Visit sanebox.com/artofcharm today and you'll get an extra $25 credit on top of the two-week free trial! Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/600/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Robert H. Frank (@econnaturalist) is the HJ Louis Professor of Economics at Cornell University and author of Success and Luck: Good Fortune and the Myth of Meritocracy. The Cheat Sheet: As we strive to achieve success, there are natural limits on how hard we can work and how smart we can be. There's no denying that luck plays a part in this achievement. Understand the role of luck, talent, and hard work in the overall formula. Discover why we tend to minimize the role of luck in our success. Find out how to maximize our luck in life by way of context outside of talent and work. Learn new ways to look at the luck factor and turn it to our advantage. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/599/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, Jordan reflects on a grumpy old man he met in New York City and wonders if this fellow was a grumpy young man, or if he became that way over time. The Cheat Sheet: Some say that people don't change. But if you listen to this podcast, you already know that's not true. The real question is: are you making an effort to change for the better, or are you just letting change happen with the passage of time? How do you see yourself today as compared to how you were ten years ago? Are you making deposits to your relationships, or are you constantly on borrowed credit? How do you react when things don't go your way -- do you blame others or take responsibility? We're always working toward something -- either by effort or default. Are you allowing yourself to have a say in how the future you fits into the world, or are you slowly trudging along the path to curmudgeonry? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he actually reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Rob Has a Podcast, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm44/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Like our new show music? It's Start Shootin' by Little People. As a freelancer, how do you politely ask current clients for referrals? [Related: Boomerang] Is it wrong to leave the door open to a relationship that's been broken by the presence of a psychotic alter-ego? How does someone go about getting audio testimonials from satisfied customers (as we do for our AoC Bootcamps)? [Related: Alex Kouts] How would James Bond make a smooth transition to the private sector -- and explain a lack of social media presence to a potential employer? Advice for overcoming cold calling fear. [Related: episode 554 with Daniel Pink, author of To Sell Is Human, Bill Guertin's The 800-Pound Gorilla of Sales, and various books by Jeb Blount] If you're in a relationship that ever makes you feel in danger, you'll want to hear our interview with Gavin de Becker Pt. 1 and Pt. 2. Check out Jordan's other show on PodcastOne: The Forbes List. Shoutouts to Jeff and Tim! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Forbes List, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf105/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices