The Art of Charm

People skills are always important, but when it comes to money, fame, and power, it takes some skill and experience to learn who your friends are and know who is getting close to you because they want something from you, so how do you know who you can trust, and what can you do make sure you don’t get taken advantage of?What to Listen For What made Violet Benson start the Daddy Issues Instagram account? What can you do to move on after a relationship falls apart that you feel you’ve totally invested yourself in? How can you develop confidence and get rid of that nervous energy you feel when doing something for the first time? What does it even mean to “get to know” more people? How much can you really know about someone and how do you know when you can trust someone? What can you do to alleviate tension in conversations with dominant personalities? Life is not a friendly game. As humans, large groups of us around the world have managed to carve out a relatively friendly existence, but there will always be those we don’t get along with and those who just like to see the world burn. Social skills are the new survival skills - we need them in order to survive in society as well as to get ahead and thrive. And the more we get ahead, the more we need them. Fortunately, social skills are just like any other skill in that they require practice and experience in order to improve themA Word From Our SponsorsBespoke Post - Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com use code AOC at checkout Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeDaddy Issues on InstagramViolet Benson on InstagramToo Tired to be Crazy podcastCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adversity has shaped humanity into who we are now - the most dominant and inventive species on this planet - so what can you do to stop looking at adversity as a roadblock and start looking at it as a necessity to becoming who you want to become?What to Listen For How can you know when you should trust your gut and when you should trust logic? What can you do to develop your own sense of intuition? Why is embarrassment integral to learning and mastery of a skill? What are the biggest social skills deficits in the workplace today and what should you focus on if you don’t want to lose out on that next job or promotion? What areas of your life should you focus on if hard work is not enough to get ahead in today’s world? How do you make your own privilege and create advantages for yourself in life that no one can take away from you? Why is it so important to think about the intent of a message vs the impact? What can you do to build advantages against biases people might have toward you? What is Laura Huang’s EDGE acronym stand for and how can you use it to gain an edge over your competition? How do you ask questions at a new job without coming across as incompetent? If we lived in a world without adversity, what challenges would you face to make you a better person mentally, emotionally, and physically? Many of us wish our lives were easy (or easier) but might not realize how important it is to our development that we are challenged on a regular basis. Unless you experience disappointment, how can you learn to set expectations? Unless you lose someone you care about, how can you learn how to cope with loss? Every time you are faced with adversity, it is an opportunity to learn something about yourself and life. You are the product of billions of years of life facing adversity and adapting to deal with it - there’s no reason it has to stop now that you’re stressed out about a job promotion or exam. Face your challenges head-on, use them to your advantage, and learn from them.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeEdge: Turning Adversity into Advantage by Laura HuangLaura Huang’s websiteLaura Huang on LinkedInLaura Huang on InstagramLaura Huang on FacebookLaura Huang on YouTubeLaura Huang on TwitterCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Judy Ho, expert on self-sabotage, discusses how to identify and prevent self-sabotage in our lives. The podcast explores topics such as understanding self-sabotage, challenging negative beliefs, overcoming self-sabotage through cognitive reflection, the impact of distractions and the importance of mindfulness, unplugging and understanding behavioral management, creating specific steps and plans to overcome obstacles, and the importance of mindfulness and journaling for thought triggers.

Talking to people we don’t know can be uncomfortable and sometimes terrifying, so why is it so important that we become comfortable with it and overcome the fear, what does science say about the value of talking to strangers, and what can you do to become a master of meeting new people?What to Listen For Why is it easier for introverts to talk to strangers than friends and family members? Why is it scary for us to talk to people we don’t know and what can you do to overcome that fear? What is a digital device security blanket and how does it put a wall up around each of us? What does science say about the value of small talk with strangers and how can it prevent you from feeling isolated and disconnected from the world around you? Where is the best place to meet new people and what should you say when you introduce yourself? How do you use shared experiences to strike up a conversation with someone you know nothing about? When is it appropriate to compliment a stranger and how do you decide what to compliment someone on? What is a transactional question and how do you ask one without shutting down the conversation before it’s even begun? Can you ask too many questions in a conversation? The more comfortable you are with talking to strangers, the greater your opportunities become. It’s a simple numbers game. If 1 out of every 100 people could connect you to a great job offer, a new friend, or a romantic partner, then doesn’t it stand that the more people you meet, the greater your chances become of landing your dream job, making new friends, and finding a great partner?If you are uncomfortable with striking up a conversation with someone out of the blue, your connections and relationships will always be limited to the people already in your social circle and chance encounters (with people who do like striking up conversations with strangers). You only get one life - don’t leave your fate up to chance. Take control and go after what you want. A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a RelationshipArt of Charm BootcampArt of Charm NetworkIs Efficiency Overrated? By Gillian M. Sandstrom & Elizabeth W. DunnThe stare as a stimulus to flight in human subjects: A series of field experimentsCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finding your voice as a creative can be difficult and frustrating, so how do you stay true to yourself while pushing the boundaries of your work, what can you do to balance the quantity of output versus the quality, and how do you get buy-in on your creative vision when you’re just starting out?What to Listen For Who does Matt Komo draw inspiration from and how did he get started in film? What can you do to develop your confidence as a creative when it feels like you’re surrounded by people making better content than you? How do you balance quality vs quantity as a content creator? How do you find the balance between your creative side and the business side What can you do get buy-in on your creative vision and get the necessary support to follow through to completion? How much of telling a story falls on the medium itself and how do you change the way you tell a story from one medium to the next? What can you do to handle the creative differences that inevitably arise between you and a client? How do you open yourself up to larger possibilities if you have no frame of reference for what is possible? How do you self-assess the difference between arrogance and confidence? As a creative, it can be easy to get bogged down by comparing your work to that of other people, especially in today’s world where a simple search can result in countless examples to top-notch work. Fortunately, only you have your perspective on life and your story to tell, so your truth and your voice are unique to you. It will take time and hard work to find your voice, but once you do, no one can take it away from you.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeMatt Komo’s YouTube ChannelMatt Komo on TwitterMatt Komo on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on TwitterThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are pitching anytime you attempt to convey an idea, and pitching effectively in today’s world of short attention spans is getting harder and harder, so what can you do to break every pitch down into 3 minutes, improve your own pitching skills, and make sure that next pitch doesn’t cost you a job, an idea, or a relationship?What to Listen For What can we do to practice our pitching skills? When are we NOT pitching our ideas or ourselves? How do you stand out in a sea of dozens or hundreds of other pitches? What are the two forms of information being conveyed in a pitch and what can you do to balance them so one doesn’t overpower the other and ruin your pitch? Why are the first 3 minutes of a pitch the most important and how do you make them count so you don’t waste your time? What does it mean to have an inform and lead approach to your pitch and why is it so important in today’s world of hyper-sensitive consumers? What are statements of value and how can using them change your career forever? What is the WHAC acronym, how does it relate to the statements of value, and how does it bring everything together to help you build the ultimate 3-minute pitch? How should you approach follow up after you’ve made a pitch and what should you avoid doing at all cost? What is the telephone challenge and how can you use it to understand what parts of your pitch are the most valuable and least valuable? You are pitching anytime you are trying to get other people to believe an idea you have. It doesn’t matter if those people are your coworkers, friends, potential customers, or a board of directors - you are pitching, and to be great at pitching requires a different approach now than it did in the past. The era of smooth talking salesmen making grandiose claims and trying to reel you in is over. Our attention spans are shrinking and we have become desensitized to ideas that sound too good to be true. It’s time for the facts.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 790 How To Resolve Conflict Like A Martial Artist with Judy RingerBrant Pinvidic’s websiteThe 3-Minute Rule by Brant PinvidicBrant Pinvidic on TwitterBrant Pinvidic on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conflict resolution is not a skillset that comes naturally for most of us because our egos will always want to defend us by proving we’re correct at the expense of actually working to a resolution, so what can we do to understand the psychology of conflict resolution and improve our conflict resolution skills?What to Listen For What core psychological principles cause unnecessary conflict and what can you do to deal with them? What are the different phases of conflict resolution? What can you do to develop the skills required for effective conflict resolution and how can they save you from sabotaging your jobs, friends, or relationship? How did Judy Ringer get her start in conflict resolution? During conflict, why do we default to wanting to be right instead of being curious about the other side, and what can we do to flip that switch so we can deal with conflict more effectively? How can using open questions instead of statements or closed questions lead to an environment better suited for conflict resolution? What does it mean to take responsibility for a conflict even if you’re not actually at fault for what happened? How do you reflect on recent conflicts in order to learn from them and develop your conflict resolution skills? What can you do to journal your conflict resolution journey in a way that helps you grow? What simple tips can you implement to start redirecting conflict toward resolution rather than escalation? As a manager, how do you ask the right questions when trying to resolve a conflict between your employees? What markers can you look for to detect conflict under the surface that might not be apparent at first glance so you know when to step in and stop a spark from growing into a wildfire? Conflict resolution is a skill most of us have to work on intentionally and consistently because our default as humans is to “resolve” conflicts by proving we’re right rather than trying to understand both sides and come to an actual resolution cooperatively. The best place to start is by recognizing the moment a conflict arises and making the decision to ask questions instead of proving you’re right.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.This Fall, start a new monthly routine that’ll upgrade your life and style with a Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post. Bespoke Post sends guys only the best stuff, every month. So whether you’re looking to craft your own hard-cider or toast perfectly aged Fall cocktails—Box of Awesome has you covered. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at BoxOfAwesome.com and enter the special discount code AOC at checkout. That’s Box of Awesome dot com, special discount code AOC for 20% off your first box.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 697 - High Value Conflict ResolutionJudy RingerTurn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the WorkplaceCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leadership skills is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot yet can mean many different things depending on the person using it, so what does “leadership skills” really mean, what does the science say about the value of leadership skills, and what can you do.What to Listen For What traits do you need to bring to the table as a leader and what can you do to develop them? Why is a strong frame necessary for effective leadership? What does it mean to have a strong frame and what can you do to build one? What tools and techniques can you start using today to be a more effective leader? How do you build leadership skills? Are leadership skills applicable outside of the workplace? What is the CAKE equation and how can you use it to build confidence? What does science say about the value of leadership skills? What are the two leadership styles and which one do we tend to associate with leadership even though it’s not as effective as the other in the long run? How do you work on or start building your leadership skills in your personal life? It might come as a surprise to some that leadership skills are just as important in your personal life as they are in your professional life because being a leader doesn’t automatically imply ordering people around. That is a specific aspect of leadership and one that great leaders rarely resort to. Being a leader within your social circle can just mean taking the initiative in organizing the next poker night or girls’ night out instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Being a leader can also mean encouraging and supporting your friends in hard times and celebrating them in their successes. Leadership means having the confidence in yourself to raise up those around you without expecting anything in return.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout!Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.Resources from this EpisodeFrame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization of ExperienceCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Storytelling might seem like a skill reserved for dinner parties and family gatherings, but we actually use it in our everyday lives, many times without really knowing it - so what can you do to be more aware of when you’re using it, when you should be using it, and how not using it could be leading you to miss out on crucial opportunities for professional and personal growth?What to Listen For How did Laura Beil get her start in podcasting? What level of skepticism around the modern healthcare system is appropriate in today’s day and age where you can find countless horror stories throughout the internet? How can you guide people you’re interviewing to tell better stories in response to your questions? What kinds of questions can you ask someone if you want more in-depth answers or explanations? How can you improve your empathy in situations where you’re listening to someone talk about a tragic event in their life? What can you do to bring fresh energy into meetings with your storytelling skills? How do you keep a conversation interesting and lively for hours with someone you have little to nothing in common with? We use storytelling abilities in our everyday lives because we are either asking other people about themselves or vice versa. A good storyteller knows how to answer questions in a way that intrigues people and keeps them engaged in a conversation as well as ask people the right questions that get them to open up and feel comfortable talking about themselves, both of which deepen the connection between them.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.Resources from this EpisodeLaura Beil’s websiteDr. Death - podcast by Laura BeilBad Batch - podcast by Laura BeilCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of life’s most powerful lessons come from stories of men and women living through dark and ugly periods in history - but why do we relate to these stories so strongly, what’s the best way to tell a story from your own life about adversity or a struggle you endured, and how do you know when such a story is ready to be told?What to Listen For What story from history first hooked Daniele Bolleli into pursuing history? How do you remove the bias or spin from news stories in today’s digital era? What made Daniele Bolelli realize he wanted to start podcasting? How do you tell a story in a way that people actually care about the characters involved? How do you find or build in a hook when you’re trying to figure out the best way to tell a story? How do you balance the dark side of a story with the lighthearted side so neither one pushes the audience away? What can you do to add humor to dark stories in a way that doesn’t feel forced or out of place? What can you look for in a story you want to tell if you want to know if it’s ready to be told? How has Daniele Bolelli’s experience in podcasting influenced his own personal storytelling? Stories from history provide us with archetypes and allow us a glimpse into the human spirit to see what we’re capable of when faced with insurmountable odds or overwhelming tragedy. And one of the most valuable lessons we can take away from all of the stories from history is that everyone involved was human. This is important to remember because we as humans have a habit of disconnecting from people who have accomplished great things and committed great atrocities. When we’re able to identify with the person on a basic level we can be inspired to act as well as develop empathy for those whose lives lead them down dark paths.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.Resources from this EpisodeDaniele Bolelli’s websiteDaniele Bolelli on TwitterHistory on Fire Podcast - most recent episodes available on LuminaryCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices