The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover being an awesome human with Nataly Kogan. Nataly is a former writer for Verywell Mind, the co-founder and CEO of Happier, a leading wellness company on a mission to make millions of people happier, and the author of The Awesome Human Project. Burnout can be a deadly trap you don’t recognize until the damage is done, so what can you do to avoid it (and still be successful), how does perfectionism make it worse, and how do you find your “why” so you can push through tough times and criticism?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are some obvious signs of burnout? What is the biggest lie entrepreneurs and leaders tell themselves to keep pushing through burn out?   Be an Awesome Human – 12:47  How do you edit your thoughts to help you be the best version of yourself? What two questions can you ask yourself to edit your thoughts and stop your mind from sabotaging your work, relationships, and goals? What does it mean to treat yourself with compassion and why do we ALL need to treat ourselves with more compassion?   Perfectionism is the Enemy of Completion – 31:00  How can you reframe perfectionism so it doesn’t stop you from finishing what you start and putting your work out there for others to enjoy? Why is it detrimental to your success to value every piece of criticism you receive?   Find your “why” and flourish in any job – 41:31  Why is it important to know your “why” when it comes to long term success and fulfillment in any line of work? What is emotional fitness, why is it just as important as physical fitness, and how do you develop it?  It’s easy to undervalue our physical and mental needs when pursuing ambitious goals. You can get lost in devoting countless hours to building a company and push aside physical exercise because it takes time away from the company. You can get lost in spending all of your free time at the gym and push aside quality sleep because “sleep is for the weak.” But we tend to forget the only reason we can do any of these things is because we have one precious life to work with.  A Word From Our SponsorsDo you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this EpisodeNataly Kogan’s websiteThe Awesome Human Project by Nataly KoganAwesome Human Hour hosted by Nataly Kogan Check in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Arthur C. Brooks. Arthur is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and is the author of 12 books, including the national bestsellers “Love Your Enemies” and “The Conservative Heart”, and his newest title “From Strength to Strength”. Happiness and meaning are two things we all want but many of us follow the wrong paths to find them, so how do you figure out what the correct path is and how do you find meaning in a world that is focused on satisfying superficial desires? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the ultimate secret to happiness according to science? What are the 4 disciplines exhibited by happy people on a daily basis that you can start implementing today? How can you get the benefits of religious faith & community if organized religion isn’t your thing? Achievement does not equal Fulfillment – 14:19 Why do some of the most successful people on the planet feel empty and alone? Why do many of us reach a point in our careers when we feel we’ve peaked and what can you do to keep excelling in your profession beyond that point? What is success addiction, how do we fall into it, and what can you do to kick the addiction if you find yourself addicted to success? Strive for fulfillment instead of achievement – 29:10 What should we be pursuing if our current goals of money, power, fame, and pleasure are leading us to feel unhappy, alone, and empty? Why is school/education not the answer if you’re looking for more meaning in life, and what are we looking for when we think school is the answer? How are music and other creative pursuits related to our ability to find fulfillment and happiness? Everyday the world tries to convince us the path to happiness and fulfillment is traversed by spending money on a product or service. We are made to think being famous will lead to fulfillment and love. We mistakenly believe having more power and control over the world around us will lead to feeling complete and accomplished. The funny thing about happiness and fulfillment is they are found in the simple things that do not require significant sums of money: loving the people around you, wanting and needing less, having strong spiritual beliefs, and doing work that is a service to others. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Arthur C. Brooks’s website From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks Dr. Judson Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover neuroticism with Dr. Taylor Burrowes. Taylor received her PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling, is a retired mental health counselor and marriage & family therapist, and now works independently. Like mental health in general, we all fall somewhere on a spectrum of neuroticism, so how can you notice when you’re exhibiting neurotic behavior and what can you do to make sure it doesn’t ruin your relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is neuroticism and how does it show up in all of us? Who is Dr Taylor Burrowes? The signs of neuroticism – 15:18 How are restlessness and neuroticism connected and how can you identify when restlessness is leading you to make poor decisions? Why are pauses important in conversation when you’re speaking to one person or an audience? What can you do to stop overthinking from ruining your relationships while still allowing it to help you in areas like work? How does neuroticism influence your social development – 33:36 Why is overthinking detrimental to your ability to be seen as authentic and build relationships? Why is coaching so important when it comes to developing your social skills? Why do we jump to conclusions that often have no evidence supporting them and how can we stop doing it? What causes you to experience neurotic behavior – 52:20 What are the root causes of the neurotic behavior we all experience at times and what can you do about it? We’re all a little bit crazy, and that’s ok. Neuroticism shows up in all of us in several ways including restlessness, overthinking, and jumping to conclusions. It can get in the way of healthy relationships, especially for men, because neuroticism conveys a lack of confidence in who you are. Once you can recognize neurotic behaviors, you can remind yourself it’s important to not act on them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr Taylor Burrowes’s website Dr Taylor Burrowes on Twitter 10 ways neuroticism shows up in men and what to do about it | YouTube The Vetting System by Dr. Taylor Burrowes The 4 Stress Languages | YouTube Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover regret with Daniel Pink. Daniel is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including Drive and To Sell is Human, and his newest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. To have freedom of choice means we will experience regret, so what can you do to have a healthy relationship with your regrets, and how can you look at regret moving forward so you make the decisions that will lead to the least amount of regret? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the best way to motivate a team working on a long term project? What is the single biggest motivator in someone’s day-to-day work and how can you use that to increase your productivity and your team’s productivity? What question can you ask to get unstuck when you’re not sure how to proceed in work and life? Is it possible to live life without any regrets – 13:19 Why is it actually unhealthy to try to live without regrets and what benefit do regrets serve us? What is the difference between regret and rumination and why can one be good for you but not the other? What are the four categories of regrets? How do you know when you should reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with? How to use regret in a meaningful way – 38:00 What strategies can you use to develop a healthy relationship with your regrets so they don’t stop you from enjoying life and becoming successful? Why is self-compassion important for neutralizing the harmful effects of regrets? Regrets can suck, but there are a variety of ways to reframe regret and develop a healthy relationship with it so it guides you rather than torments you. When we feel regret over a decision we made, it’s important to spend time understanding why you feel that regret. Then think about the next time that decision might have to be made and commit to making it. Write it down. Tell your friends so they can hold you accountable if possible. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Daniel Pink’s website Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold. Why is breaking the ice an important skill, what impact does it have on your health, and what strategies can you use to make breaking the ice easy and effective? What to Listen For Breaking the ice and your health – 0:00 Why should we be engaging in more small talk and why is it dangerous to our mental and physical health to spend too much time alone? What is the first obvious signal that loneliness is your new normal and what can you do to break out of that cycle? Make small talk more effective – 20:18 Why are witty one-liners ineffective at breaking the ice and what should you say instead? What questions should you avoid when meeting someone for the first time, and what questions should you ask instead? What is the easiest way to revive a conversation if you feel like it’s dying or getting awkward? Break the ice MORE OFTEN! – 30:58 How should we be looking at breaking the ice and small talk if we want more opportunities, more friends, and a more fulfilling life? How do you break the ice with someone wearing headphones? Why is making small talk important if you have goals and dreams you want to accomplish in life? It’s easy for us introverts to dismiss small talk and interactions with strangers as a waste of time. What’s the point, right? The problem with this mentality is that it ignores our human nature. We are social creatures, and as social creatures our mental and physical health will suffer if we are isolated from our tribe. That is one reason being exiled from the tribe used to be the ultimate punishment as life without the support of your fellow tribesmen surely meant death in the wild. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect Art of Charm Ice Breaker Cheat Sheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover breathing with James Nestor. James has written for Scientific American, BBC, The New York Times, The Atlantic, National Public Radio and more, and is the author of the best-selling book, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art. Breathing incorrectly can have detrimental effects on your sleep, metabolism, inflammation, and even your lifespan, but what is the correct way to breathe, why is evolution working against us so we breathe worse over time, and what exercise can you use to train your body to subconsciously breathe correctly? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did James Nestor become so focused on breathing? How is evolution working against our breathing? What do people often get wrong about survival of the fittest and evolution? The Lost Art of Breathing – 11:10 Why is breathing not talked about by the medical community when it’s so crucial to our health and wellbeing? How does breathing impact your sleep and what can you do to improve your sleep with your breathing? How does breathing impact your metabolism and how can you use your breathing to help you burn more calories? How are lung capacity and lifespan connected and how can you increase your lifespan? Breathe CORRECTLY to eliminate inflammation – 34:00 How is your breathing on a daily basis making your chronic inflammation worse and how should you be breathing instead? Why do you need to stop breathing with your mouth? Why do we feel better as humans when we breathe through our noses and not our mouths? How long should you inhale, hold your breath, and exhale to train your body to breathe correctly? How can correct breathing make you a better public speaker? Many people go through their entire lives without thinking about the way they breathe. It’s one of those things that our bodies do automatically so it’s easy to shrug off, but breathing is arguably one of the most important activities we do on a daily basis, so time should be spent trying to understand the best way to breathe. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor James Nestor’s website Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr. Judson Brewer. Jud is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as head of behavioral health at Sharecare. Anxiety can make anyone’s life more difficult, but you can take steps to minimize or eliminate it altogether—so how are your habits and thought processes making your anxiety worse, and what can you do to take back control of your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What common misconceptions do people have about anxiety? How do habits and anxiety play off each other and what can we do to prevent our habits from creating crippling anxiety? Taking back control from our environment and biology – 12:51 What can you do to overcome the influence our environments and biology have on amping up our anxiety? What simple exercise can you do to stop bad habits and when should you do it? What question can you ask yourself if you want to stop binging or over indulging? Is anxiety stopping you from pursuing positive activities? – 34:56 What can you do if your anxiety is getting in the way of doing things that are good for you? How can bringing awareness to your anxiety help you to get your life back from anxiety dictating your actions? The danger and harm caused by worrying – 49:20 What is going on when you worry and how does it impact your behaviors? What can you do if you’re constantly worrying? In ancient times, anxiety was useful for teaching us what we should be concerned about. But in the modern world, we are bombarded with a million things everyday that we “should” worry about. Between notifications on our smartphones, the news, that overflowing email inbox, and everything we see on social media, the anxiety can be overwhelming. As a result, we tend to develop habits as a way of coping with the anxiety, and those habits can lead to even worse anxiety. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr. Brewer’s website Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Dr. Judson Brewer Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover healthy relationships and finding the right partner with Dr Yael. Dr Yael is a licensed clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, and writer about parenting, work, and relationships. A healthy relationship takes work, but how do you know what relationships are worth the work, is moving in together a good test for the relationship, and how do you reignite passion in a relationship? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did Dr Yael Schonbrun take the Art of Charm Unstoppable program? What is the trap many of us fall into in the modern dating world and why are we making it harder to find healthy relationships? Value based dating and moving in together – 13:00 What questions can you ask to figure out what you want to get out of dating? What mindset do you need to avoid if you’re thinking about moving in with someone you’re dating? What signs should you look out for when thinking about moving in with someone? Looking beyond lust for red flags – 30:40 How should you think about lust when you’re actively dating? Reigniting passion in a relationship – 44:40 What is the foundation for passion in romantic relationships and what can you do to reintroduce it? What is the evolutionary need for novelty in romantic relationships? How do you know when a relationship is worth ending? Your relationships require the same work we put into everything else in life. If we go about life acting as if those relationships will always be there, we are bound to lose them. Why should they invest time in us if we’re not willing to invest in them? The first step in developing healthy relationships is making that commitment to invest and following through. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr. Yael Schonbrun’s website Unstoppable Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover what we learned in 2021. 2021 was a wild ride for everyone, so let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve learned, overcome, and how far we’ve come. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What was the most powerful takeaway for negotiating we heard from our guests? What simple and effective strategy can you use to make healthy habits much easier to adopt? Asking for help doesn’t need to be hard – 20:00 What simple mental switch can you flip to make asking for help a positive experience for both people? What proven strategies can you use to better manage your anxiety on a daily basis? Why is the pursuit of balance the wrong goal to chase if you want to be successful? How do AJ and Johnny decide how to interview each guest – 37:01 What can you do to prepare a solid interview experience for anyone you have on a podcast? What have AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael done and learned over the last year and what can you take away from their lessons? The podcast has had some amazing guests over the last year. Let’s take a minute to highlight all the game changing tips, tricks, and strategies we’ve learned in 2021. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Victoria Medvec | Master Negotiation By Avoiding These 3 Traps Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language Carey Nieuwhof | Incredible Productivity and Never Burn Out Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the art of gift giving with John Ruhlin. John Ruhlin is the founder and CEO of Ruhlin Group, the master of building businesses by giving gifts, and the author of Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention. Giving the right gift can radically strengthen any personal or business relationship, but what questions should you ask when thinking about the right gift for someone, what gifts should you avoid at all cost, and when is the right time to give a gift? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who do people often overlook when it comes to building and maintaining relationships? What can you do to make gift giving feel less like a transaction and more like a natural part of relationship building? How can you make gift giving a game changer for all of your personal and professional relationships? The secret to giving gifts that change your life – 13:17 How much money should you set aside for giving gifts every year and why do you need to plan for it? What is the ultimate recipe for gift giving and what should you think about when giving gifts? Examples of business changing gifts – 26:23 What crucial questions should you think about when personalizing a gift for someone? How should you start giving gifts if it’s not something you’re used to doing? What types of gifts should you never send? Tips for personal gift giving – 45:36 What gifts can you give to deepen your personal relationships? The right gift can change someone’s life and create a memory that will last forever. But how can you figure out what that gift might be? For one, it must be meaningful to the receiver, and what things in a person’s life are likely to be the most meaningful? In many cases, it’s our values and our families, so think about how you might personalize an item that person uses or sees everyday and incorporate something related to their values or family. An example? How about a knife set in which each knife is engraved with a different favorite quote of theirs. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The Top 10 Gifts You Should NEVER Give John Ruhlin’s website Giftology website Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention by Josh Ruhlin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices