The Leader's Journey Podcast

Esteemed guest Steve Cuss explores managing self in triangles, discussing leadership dynamics, anxiety, triggers, and navigating relationships. Practical insights on staying calm and principled in tricky triangle situations.

Dr. Jenny Brown discusses the complexities of triangles in relationships, highlighting the difference between being in a triangle and being triangulated. The podcast explores the predictable ways triangles work and how to remain neutral. It also delves into the importance of self-reflection, breaking cycles, and promoting growth in relationships.

In this episode, Jim and Trisha look back on The Leader's Journey, discuss key lessons and express gratitude for their clients, listeners, and the growth they've experienced through their work. We hope you'll connect with this authentic conversation.  Conversation Overview: Jim & Trisha discuss their history working together The context, culture, and spaces they work in The value of collaboration in their work The learning community they have developed The importance of learning The challenges of changing behavior Accountability in the learning process References & Links:  Tim McGee (personal, agency) Faithwalking The Podcast series on race Listening and Learning: An African-American Leader Shares His Story Changing Our Minds: How learning to see God and the world differently changed our view on race How We Got Here: Reflecting on our learning about race The series on trauma An introduction to trauma part 1 An introduction to trauma part 2 The series on power dynamics The Balance of Power: How trustworthy and transformative leaders balance authority and vulnerability creating space for flourishing Power Dynamics and Conflict: A conversation for trustworthy and transformative leaders Power Dynamics for Trustworthy and Transformative Leaders Using and Sharing Power to Create a More Just and Equitable Community Todd Bolsinger Juanita Rasmus Mandy Smith Phuc Luu Chuck Degrow Steve Cuss Robert Creech

Knowing and doing the right thing is hard. Staying calm and saying the course in the face of the resulting opposition can be even harder, and requires us to practice courage intentionally.  In this episode, the third in our series on courage, Jim and Trisha are joined by Jessica Shults and Mac McCarthy who discuss their unique, yet similar, pastoral stories about leading congregations through hard things in different ways. Together they talk about different practices that can be used to help grow courage in challenging circumstances. Conversation Overview Being courageous in challenging established mental models can effectively lead people into new ways of thinking Having a sense of calling, utilizing the help of others, and having to revisit challenging things over and over again are all ways help us work on courage The practice of controlling our own self-care, in addition to letting other help us carry the weight of change, helps us to be able to focus in on how to handle challenging opposition in the right ways Staying connected and staying the course while defining oneself are two styles of leadership that we can learn from to grow our emotional maturity Links & References Edwin Friedman Books Speeches By Martin Luther King Jr.: The Ultimate Collection Todd Bolsinger Books The Colossian Forum Crosspoint Church Podcast and Blog The Leader’s Journey Website The Leader’s Journey E-mail List

Facing trauma and pain in constructive and redemptive ways requires us to practice courage intentionally. With David Zailer, author of Death of a Fisherman, Trisha and Jim continue their series on courage. Together they discuss an important question from David’s life and book: “How will you and I grow through hardship and suffering?” Conversation Overview It takes courage to face our past traumas in order to grow emotionally The path to healing from addiction Connection and heal from pain The willingness to do small things Links & References Death of a Fisherman by David Zailer The Allender Center National Domestic Violence Hotline Child Abuse Hotline Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous Operation Integrity The Leader's Journey - An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Series The Leader’s Journey Website The Leader’s Journey E-mail List

Podcast guest Nathan Herrington helps Jim and Trisha explore practices that can sustain courage in the third episode of a series that focuses on growing our emotional maturity. By saying yes to life on its own terms we lean into how we can learn to be courageous, and essentially more effective leaders through working on intentional focused practices. Conversation Overview Demonstrating courage by saying yes without knowing the outcome How body-based practices and body awareness can help our reactivity First action steps when starting a yoga or meditation practice Living a fully alive life by being brave Noticing growth through practice over time Links & References Nathan Herrington’s Listening to Leaders Podcast Brené Brown – Quote from “The Gifts of Imperfection” Nathan’s LinkedIn Nathan’s Instagram The Leader’s Journey Website The Leader’s Journey E-mail List

In today’s podcast, we discuss how leaders often live in a pace that stands in the way of being able to grow our emotional maturity. Our guest, April Fiet, is a pastor and author whose book The Sacred Pulse: Holy Rhythms for Overwhelmed Souls posits that the process of slowing down helps us live into our callings by tapping into holy rhythms which help pattern our days according to God’s desires for our lives.  The second episode in a series revolving around practices that help us grow our emotional maturity. Conversation Overview Learning to slow down to help us tap into rhythms of well being Chronos time vs kairos time Our longings to create space to be fully human How creativity and handcrafting helps us focus and ground Slowing down to examine our own selves and how we make time for others Links & References The Sacred Pulse: Holy Rhythms for Overwhelmed Souls by April Fiet Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World by Vivek H. Murthy M.D. April Fiet’s Blog April Fiet's Free E-Book Whispers in the Wilderness: 7 Devotions for Hope in Uncertain Times April Fiet’s Twitter April Fiet’s Facebook Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

The only way to be different is to do different—seeing our autopilot ways of being and disrupting them is the only way change happens. I rarely struggle to know what I believe the right thing to do is but I often have the inability to do the right thing…I normally know the right things about how to relate, how to do relationships, and when I get anxious sometimes and maybe some people would say often the anxiety gets in the way of my ability to do the right thing” This is the first episode in an ongoing theme we’ll be exploring the rest of the year about practices that help us all grow our emotional maturity. Conversation Overview Why is it so hard? What is an autopilot? How can we learn to see our autopilot? Do we really want to change? Ways we can learn to change our autopilot Organizations (teams and families) have autopilots References: Immunity to Change Hunger for Healing by Keith Miller

As a learning community, we want to share some of our best resources with you, let you get to know our team a little better and give you a peek into what we’re learning. We hold a shared belief that, especially in a context where the pace of change is so rapid, ongoing learning that is fed by curiosity about what’s happening in our ministry context, is an essential way of being. In this episode, we've gathered a handful of our teammembers toogther to talk about what we learned last year, to share a resource that will be helpful to our listeners, and to let us in on what they want to learn this year.  Trisha Taylor Learning to see her autopilot and intentionally disrupt it to "live more consciously, more thoughtfully, more awake." Two tools that have helped Trisha do this have been journalling and a "professional who knows how to hold space and listen." Don't Look Up [movie] Aundrea Baker Learned about emotions, the science behind emotions, and practiced "allowing myself in certain situations to feel the feelings and pass through them and get to the other side." Two books were primary for me in this learning, one was Emotional Agility by Susan David, and the other one was, It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. Mac McCarthy  Over the past year Mac has been learning "how to process pain in ministry" and setting appropriate boundaries.  Two resources that have helped Mac work through this learning has been a coach and resources from Dan White Jr. and The Kineo Center This year he is planning to do a deep dive with his team into a leadership model that includes both men and women working together using Better Together Tim McGee This past year Tim has focused a lot of his learning on the power of clarity on communication and design.  "Clear is Kind" by Brene Brown A book that has helped Tim process and practice this over the past year was Strategy is Your Words by Mark Pollard Dawn Bird This past year Dawn has been learning to be compassionate with herself around patterns in some of her closest relationships.  Two resources that have helped Dawn explore this has been an episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled Breaking Cycles & Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy and the book Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy Hello, Molly! [memoir] Victor Chiao Victor said this past year he has been learning how to practice courage and draw from his guiding principles in the face of anxious situations. And while he says he didn't have any tangible resources he offered these thoughts, "find others with a shared vision, a community that fosters safety, that allows you...to lean into those areas of discomfort and to have a chance to choose courage." Another way he is planning to lean into discomfort is by up Jiujitsu this year.  Jim Herrington This past year Jim has been deepening his learning around trauma and exploring the connections between trauma and family systems.  A couple resources Jim mentioned in the episode were,   In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate M.D., The Wisdom of Trauma by Gabor Mate M.D., and Amazing Place Family Caregiver Support Resources Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

The gold standard of leadership is calm, principled presence in the face of challenge. This requires commitment and practice to do the inside-out work of growing a calmer self. About Nate Pyle Nate is an author, blogger and ordained pastor in the Reformed Church in America. In 2015, Nate released his first book, Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood, with Zondervan. He contributed to Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. Nate’s second book, More Than You Can Handle: When Life’s Overwhelming Pain Meets God’s Overcoming Grace, released in March of 2019 with Zondervan. Currently, Nate serves as the pastor of Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana where he lives with his wife and three children. "And so the biggest growth edge for me when it comes to growing a calmer self was growing my understanding of myself and who I am, and who I believe I've been created to be and what my values and beliefs and principles are and that's still an ongoing learning, but before I could ever grow a calmer self, I just had to figure out who my self was." – Nate Pyle Conversation Overview What is the role of self? Managing yourself vs changing others behavior Calm vs reactive Examples of calm leadership Growing our capacity to manage ourselves Examples of calm leadership Links and references Murray Bowen Edwin Friedman Steve Cuss book, managing Leadership Anxiety Nate Pyle Website Nate Pyle Books Chronically online Better Together https://twitter.com/NatePyle79