Managing Self in Triangles #2 Managing Self in Triangles #2 with Steve Cuss
Jun 16, 2023
auto_awesome
Esteemed guest Steve Cuss explores managing self in triangles, discussing leadership dynamics, anxiety, triggers, and navigating relationships. Practical insights on staying calm and principled in tricky triangle situations.
Recognizing triangles and emotional maturity are crucial for personal growth.
Leaders must navigate power dynamics in triangles by staying neutral and promoting open communication.
Deep dives
Importance of recognizing triangles and emotional maturity
Recognizing the presence of triangles and developing emotional maturity are crucial for personal growth. Triangles, which involve three individuals, often generate anxiety and can lead to further anxiety in a loop. Leaders need to be aware of triangles, especially when they find themselves in anxious interlocking triangles. By staying on the outside position of a triangle, leaders can make progress in their emotional maturity. It is important for leaders to be curious, ask questions, and avoid taking sides in order to maintain a neutral position in the triangle.
Understanding and managing triangles in leadership roles
As a leader, most interactions involve triangles, and being aware of these triangles is a critical starting point. Different types of triangles can emerge in leadership roles, and leaders must be prepared to navigate them. It is essential to recognize the power dynamics within triangles and be mindful of being pulled into divisive situations. By staying neutral, focusing on self-management, and encouraging open communication, leaders can offer calm and principled leadership amidst various triangles.
Principles for navigating triangles and maintaining emotional balance
When faced with triangles, it is important to have guiding principles to navigate them effectively. The principles include staying curious, defining oneself, and avoiding reactive responses. Recognizing one's own anxiety and ensuring the anxiety stays with the appropriate person are crucial. Additionally, leaders should prioritize connection, vulnerability, and respect, even in situations where disagreements arise. While taking a principled stand is acceptable, it is essential to avoid villainizing others and instead maintain courteous and honest communication.
The role of faith and prayer in managing triangles
For individuals with a faith background, navigating triangles can also involve spiritual aspects. Prayer can offer an opportunity to vent, seek guidance, and align oneself with a higher power. However, it is important to guard against creating a version of God that only aligns with personal opinions or desires. Maintaining a connected and aware posture during prayer can help individuals manage their anxiety and approach triangulation with wisdom and discernment.
In this episode, we continue our series on learning to managing self in triangles. Joining us for this conversation is our esteemed guest and good friend, Steve Cuss. As a reminder, this series is exploring the idea that triangles are neither good nor bad, but they are tricky and when you can see the triangles you’re in and understand how they work, you have a better chance of not only surviving them but offering calm, principled leadership in the midst of them.
Conversation Overview:
What are some common ways that leaders in particular show up in triangles?
How do we get drawn into triangles?
How does being in leadership impact how we show up in triangles?
What kinds of triangles are we tempted to light up ourselves?
What are some basic principles–and practices– about how we can better manage ourselves more thoughtfully in these tricky triangle situations?