Connection Codes

Therapist and author Sam Jolman joins Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to discuss the topic of masculine sexuality. They discuss the ways men’s sexual identities are shaped by early experiences, cultural messages, and religious teachings. Sam shares stories and insights on how men can reclaim their sexuality by embracing vulnerability, addressing shame, and learning to see sex as a form of play rather than performance. The conversation also touches on common challenges in sexual relationships, the importance of open communication, and how better sexual education can lead to deeper emotional connections. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠⁠ Connect with Sam: Sam Jolman: https://www.samjolman.com/  Sam on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samjolman/  Sam on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/samjolmancounseling  Sam’s Substack - the heart of it: https://samjolman.substack.com/ The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/4s7b47pr  Story Formed by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/53sy8amx Chapters: 00:00:00 – Setting the Stage: Why This Episode Stands Out 00:01:38 – Meet Sam Jolman: A New Voice in Masculine Sexuality 00:03:48 – Redefining Masculine Sexuality Through Personal Stories 00:06:52 – Real-Life Experiences That Shape Our Sexual Identity 00:09:55 – Why Sexual Education Is More Important Than Ever 00:14:03 – Navigating Challenges in Today’s Sexual Relationships 00:20:20 – The Strength in Vulnerability: Opening Up About Sexuality 00:25:01 – How to Clearly Communicate Your Sexual Needs 00:27:29 – Breaking Down Sexual Play and Its Importance in Relationships 00:28:28 – Understanding the Boundaries: Consent and Desire 00:29:37 – The Neurological Basis for Play and Vulnerability 00:32:32 – The Root of Miscommunication in Sexual Relationships 00:34:24 – Overcoming Fear and Embracing Playfulness in Intimacy 00:47:13 – The Hidden Power of Non-Sexual Play in Strengthening Bonds 00:48:37 – Wrapping It Up: Key Takeaways from the Conversation

The discussion in this episode is about the dynamics of conflict in marriage, exploring how trying to "win" an argument can lead to emotional disconnection. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill unpack the idea of the "courtroom" in relationships, where couples focus on proving who's right instead of understanding each other's emotions. They discuss how this leads to loneliness, especially in areas like sex, and share tools to shift from battling over facts to building deeper emotional connection. Whether it's about resolving conflict or dealing with sexual loneliness, you’ll be offered a path to transforming your relationship. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening the Courtroom: How Conflicts Become Trials in Marriage 00:01:21 - Marriage as a Battlefield: The Story Behind the Courtroom Mentality 00:03:05 - The Burden of Being Right: When Winning Means Losing 00:04:21 - Logistics vs. Emotions: The Trap of Disconnected Arguments 00:09:45 - The High Cost of Winning: How Arguments Lead to Disconnection 00:14:36 - Exhaustion and Innocence: Why Proving Your Case Drains You 00:21:36 - The Unseen Toll: Navigating Emotional Chaos 00:22:20 - Sexual Loneliness Unveiled: A Pain Often Ignored 00:23:05 - Connection Through Conversation: How Words Heal 00:24:54 - Validation’s Power: The Key to Emotional Harmony 00:26:37 - Conflict as Connection: Transformative Approaches 00:27:40 - Practical Tools for Lasting Emotional Intimacy 00:29:32 - Reflecting on Past Wounds: Why Emotional Tools Matter 00:33:19 - Emotional Mastery: Building the Right Relationship Toolkit 00:37:15 - Healing Old Wounds: How Emotional Tools Transform Relationships 00:41:48 - Encouragement & Wrap-Up: Moving Forward with Connection

We explore the impacts of unprocessed emotions on mental health, from childhood trauma to adult struggles like OCD and anxiety. The team discusses how society’s tendency to label people, rather than understand them, leads to deeper psychological challenges. They discuss the importance of emotional regulation and use simple tools like the Core Emotion Wheel to help both adults and children process their feelings. By addressing these issues early on, we can improve emotional health and break harmful cycles across generations. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters: 00:00:00 - Unveiling the Spectrum of Psyche Disorders: A Journey Begins 00:02:06 - Navigating the Human Condition: What Shapes Us? 00:03:28 - Unprocessed Emotions: Silent Disruptors of Our Lives 00:06:45 - Real Stories, Real Struggles: Humanity in Motion 00:09:31 - Childhood Memories: How Early Trauma Echoes in Adulthood 00:12:27 - Cultural Shifts and the Rise of Pathologizing Human Experience 00:16:02 - Living with OCD: A Deep Dive into Personal Insights 00:24:57 - Parenting in the Face of Emotional Health Challenges 00:31:26 - Parenting Misunderstandings: The Unspoken Burdens 00:33:53 - Childhood Anxiety: Recognizing and Addressing It Early 00:36:35 - A Neighborhood Incident: Society’s Quick Judgments Exposed 00:40:24 - The Vital Role of Emotional Regulation in Everyday Life 00:47:55 - The Core Emotion Wheel: A Game-Changer for All Ages 00:54:14 - Personal Reflections: Processing the Emotional Journey 01:00:38 - Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts and Encouragement for the Road Ahead

The Connection Codes crew is taking on a listener's question about how parents can express emotions without making their kids feel like they need to earn love or approval. They explore how parents can balance showing real emotions while avoiding guilt-tripping or creating unnecessary pressure. From discussing parental guilt to finding joy in everyday moments, this episode offers you tools for maintaining emotional connection with your kids, even during tough times. Whether you're navigating emotional transparency or trying to create safe spaces for your children, this conversation offers insights on building strong, lasting family bonds. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome to Connection Codes: Exploring Emotional Safety in Parenting 00:01:14 - Personal Reflections: Updates from Life and Gratitude 00:03:43 - Unpacking Emotions with the Connection Codes Tool 00:06:43 - Listener Q&A: Navigating Emotional Parenting 00:11:49 - Striking the Balance: Emotion and Authenticity with Your Kids 00:21:18 - Parenting Guilt: Tackling the Internal Tug of War 00:22:52 - Finding Balance: Emotional Regulation in Parenting 00:24:38 - Prioritizing Connection: The Core of Parenting Success 00:26:54 - Teaching Emotional Awareness: Why It’s Crucial for Kids 00:30:01 - The Healing Power of Processing Emotions as a Family 00:31:57 - Building Long-Term Connections: Creating Safe Spaces for Kids 00:36:51 - Joy in Parenting: Why It Matters More Than You Think 00:39:26 - Listener Love: How You’re Helping Shape Our Conversations

Tera and Wes open up about going through an emotional disconnect and how they rebuilt their relationship using the Connection Codes method. They discuss their struggles with loneliness, guilt, and fear, and how these emotions impacted their marriage and family life. Tera and Wes also explore how learning to process emotions in the moment has helped them break old patterns of conflict, ultimately leading to a stronger, more connected partnership. This episode shows us how slowing down and creating emotional safety can transform a relationship. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ Chapters 00:00:00 - The Start of Our Connection Codes Journey 00:02:35 - How Our Journey Began During COVID 00:04:22 - The Core Emotion Wheel: A Life-Changing Tool 00:05:07 - Real-Time Emotion Wheel: An Unfiltered Demo 00:09:07 - Wes Opens Up: His Path to Emotional Awareness 00:12:08 - Tara’s Reflection on Connection and Communication 00:13:51 - The Tough Stuff: Breaking Through Emotional Barriers 00:19:34 - Parenting with Emotional Awareness: The Real Impact 00:25:23 - Emotional Anchoring: How to Stay Grounded in the Chaos 00:26:06 - Reflecting on Old Conflicts and New Growth 00:27:05 - Sticking with It: Committing to Emotional Growth 00:28:24 - Real-Life Transformation: What It Looks Like 00:30:42 - Processing Emotions in Real Time: No More Bottling It Up 00:37:04 - Creating a Safe Space: The Key to Emotional Healing 00:41:30 - The Challenges of Holding Space for Each Other 00:45:45 - Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts and Encouragement

In this episode, the team is diving into the challenges of dealing with difficult family dynamics, focusing on the difference between disassociation and stunt doubling. The hosts share stories about how overwhelming situations, especially with family, can lead to shutting down emotionally or "faking it" just to get through. They explain how disassociation can protect us in moments of stress but can also lead to deeper problems, while stunt doubling is a conscious choice to stay present without fully opening up. They are letting you in on ways to get through these tough moments, helping you find balance between staying true to yourselves and protecting their mental well-being. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters 00:00:00 - When to Show Up or Fake It: Intro to Stunt Doubling vs. Disassociation 00:01:13 - Panic on the Road: How Family Stress Can Lead to Disassociation 00:02:42 - Disassociation: The Mind’s Escape Hatch We All Use 00:04:15 - Driving Blind: Personal Stories of Emotional Shut Down 00:07:59 - Stunt Doubling: Why Pretending Might Save Your Relationships 00:11:08 - The Battle Between Authenticity and Survival 00:15:16 - Culture and Disassociation: Are We All Just Numb? 00:18:18 - Stunt Doubling: A Strategy for Emotional Survival 00:21:42 - Finding Safety: A Client’s Journey Through Stunt Doubling 00:23:51 - How to Stunt Double Without Losing Yourself 00:26:34 - Navigating Life’s Stressful Moments: When to Stunt Double vs. Disassociate 00:31:18 - Core Emotion Wheel: The Tool That Keeps You Grounded 00:34:50 - Wrapping Up: Tools and Insights for Navigating Family Dynamics

In this episode, the Connection Codes team is discussing the impact of emotional and physical pain on our daily lives and relationships. They share personal stories about how unprocessed emotions can show up physically as chronic pain and stress, affecting our ability to experience joy and connection. They also give advice on how to recognize and address these emotions so we can break free from the cycle of pain and live a more fulfilled life.  Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters 00:00:00 - Joyful Reunion: Reconnecting and New Beginnings 00:00:36 - Diving Deep: The Reality of Pain and Chronic Pain 00:01:27 - Welcome: Exploring Human Connection on the Connection Codes Podcast 00:02:01 - A Fresh Start: New Studio and a Surprise Reveal 00:04:21 - Why Core Emotions Matter: Understanding the Foundation 00:05:18 - Choosing Favorites: The Core Emotions That Drive Us 00:08:36 - Productivity vs. Emotions: The Unseen Connection 00:13:17 - Core Emotion Wheel: A Practical Exercise for Daily Life 00:18:45 - Unpacking the Layers: Emotional Triggers and Responses 00:23:53 - The Power of Connection: Transforming Relationships and Lives 00:25:57 - Certified Coaching Program: Empowering Others to Spread the Word 00:26:32 - Living in Pain: The Interplay Between Emotional and Physical Suffering 00:28:00 - Unprocessed Emotions: The Hidden Impact on Your Well-Being 00:30:36 - Stories of Pain: Personal Accounts and Shared Experiences 00:35:01 - Processing Emotions: Why It’s Crucial for Health and Happiness 00:40:07 - Practical Tips: Strategies for Maintaining Emotional Health 00:48:53 - Final Thoughts and Resources: Tools for Your Journey

We confront the overwhelming pressures that come with balancing personal and professional lives, and how unprocessed emotions can drastically reduce productivity and cloud decision-making. The Connection Codes team shares powerful strategies for managing these emotions, helping you break free from the mental blocks that keep you from reaching your full potential. You'll walk away with insights into how emotional intelligence directly impacts your success and learn practical tools to regain control and clarity, both at home and in the workplace. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach Chapters: 00:00:00 - Drowning in Overwhelm: A Personal Story of Feeling Stuck 00:01:08 - The Connection Codes Podcast: Reconnecting with Yourself and Others 00:01:56 - Overwhelm: The Hidden Impact of Emotions 00:05:11 - Why Emotions Are Sabotaging Your Productivity 00:07:23 - The Overlooked Side of Work-Life Balance: Your Emotional State 00:11:26 - Raw Vulnerability: Personal Experiences That Shape Us 00:20:04 - Your Body Knows Best: Listening to Physical and Emotional Cues 00:22:22 - When Overwhelm Takes Over: Strategies for Emotional Processing 00:23:10 - Finding Solutions: The Importance of Support in Overcoming Overwhelm 00:24:04 - Mastering Overwhelm: Techniques to Regain Control 00:25:21 - Coaching Insights: Navigating Through Overwhelm with Professional Guidance 00:28:53 - Unlocking Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Personal and Professional Growth 00:35:04 - Practical Tools You Can Use Today for Emotional Resilience 00:41:10 - Final Encouragement: Moving Forward with Confidence and Clarity

Replay Episode. (We will be back next week with something brand new! But this is one of our most popular episodes that is worth revisiting 🙌🏻) Dr Glenn & Phyllis dive into a moment where they were both filled with emotion. They break down how they kept it from becoming a disconnect & share how they worked through it without causing any more damage. A painful moment connected them further. Listen to learn how to build the safety in your relationship that your partner craves. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠ Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠ (If links aren't working, please copy and paste.)

In this episode, the Connection Codes team talks about the realities of love and marriage, pushing back against the lie that relationships are only about finding "The One." They discuss how feelings of love change over time, as well as the importance of safety and connection in maintaining a healthy relationship. They also go into the science behind emotions, experiences, and the impact of life stages like early parenthood on a couple’s bond. Tune in to hear a fresh perspective on what it takes to keep love alive and thriving through the ups and downs of married life. Links and Resources: Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min To download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach (If links aren't working, please copy and paste.) Chapters 00:00:00 - Kicking Off: Do Feelings Really Change After Marriage? 00:01:28 - The Quest for 'The One': Unpacking the Myth 00:03:47 - From Love to Lows: Understanding Emotional Shifts 00:07:38 - The Chemistry of Love: What Science Says About Emotions 00:12:45 - True Tales: Navigating Love's Complex Journeys 00:16:00 - The Impact of Cultural Differences on the Concept of Love 00:19:15 - Unprocessed Pain in Relationships: A Silent Barrier to Love 00:21:10 - Understanding Emotional Disconnect and Reconnecting 00:26:33 - Joy Interrupted: When Happiness Fades in Relationships 00:28:51 - Reviving Joy: How to Bring Fun Back into Marriage 00:30:30 - Counseling Power: A Lifeline for Troubled Times 00:33:30 - Staying Intentional: Keys to Thriving Together 00:36:20 - Adventures Await: Facing Fears, Finding Joy 00:39:52 - Pain and Joy: How Acknowledging Hurt Leads to Happiness 00:43:57 - Emotional Tools: Discovering the Core Emotion Wheel 00:51:12 - Closing Thoughts: Encouragement for the Journey Ahead