Beat Your Genes Podcast

In today's show, the Dr's discuss: can you illuminate us a bit about the nature of sexual disgust. I am currently seeing a man who is very much in love with me and is a good match for me in general. I like him very much and can imagine him as a future partner. However, I hate being touched by him. I feel so grossed out by it,it doesn't turn me on at all and so I avoid physical intimacy with him. Is there any way to get over this or should I just quit? My ex that I was with for one year that's 60 pounds overweight and objectively a 4 cheated on me even though I'm 108 pounds with about a .7 hip to waist ratio and at least a 7. Why would this happen? I dated him because I thought he would appreciate how much more attractive than him I was and thus treat me well and not cheat on me at the least! The girls he has dated before me and cheated on me with were less attractive than me. He even said they were only 'okay'. He told me he makes seven figures but I estimate it to be $200,00 which is still great so maybe that's why he thinks he's so great and better than me? He showed me the ring he was going to propose to me with as a last ditch effort to get me to not break up with him which was apparently $80,000. My guess is that it's actually around $15,000. Other than that, he doesn't seem interested in marriage in general even though he's 41. Is he just naturally a short-term mater unless he's insanely rewarded? If he really valued me wouldn't he not risk losing me over some random girls? Please tell me what I'm doing wrong and what's going on, I have an open loop about this and I feel like I can't stop thinking about this until I understand every small detail so I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, the Dr's discuss:  My male friend told me he married his wife even though he was in love with an ex-girlfriend because he could trust her to be loyal whereas he couldn't trust his ex. How often do men do this? How good/bad of a situation is this for the wife who wants a reliable husband and father until death does them part(she might be concerned about him having an affair with the ex)? How do I assess how to stimulate/encourage my brain's moods of happiness? I’ve always been quite anxious but this feeling has worsened in the past two years. I always feel a sense of insecurity about the future as well as inferiority to everyone. I question my decisions and my capabilities. Is it a real fear that signals that I’m not “contributing to the village” or is it just my personality? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In this episode, Dr. Lisle discusses:  Is jealous and controlling/possessive behavior a sign that a romantic partner loves you or is just a something to do with their personality? Does crystal clear usually only work with honest people? I suppose a dishonest person would lie and manipulate during the crystal clear, therefore the best outcome of the conversation would be finding out the truth despite their dishonesty and/or terminating the relationship because of the realization of their dishonesty and that it carries too many costs. How common is it for men to be successfully deceived about a woman's promiscuity? How easy is it for men to correctly 'sniff out' a woman's promiscuity? How common is it for women to lie about their promiscuity? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, the doctors discuss:  Dear Doctors, my husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years now, and have an amazing relationship. We agree on most things, enjoy spending time together, have great communication and have very infrequent arguments. One thing (probably the only thing) we do argue about is my sex drive and my husband’s penis size. If my husband had it his way, we would have sex twice a day, every day and for me there is about a 10 day window every month where I actually want to have sex and the rest of the month I have absolutely no desire. My husband believes it is because he has a “small penis” even though he is the one who noticed my sexual desire peaks around my ovulation window. When we do have sex it is amazing and we are both fulfilled. No matter how many times I tell him he satisfies me and it has nothing to do with him or his size, he does not believe me. When I do engage in sexual activity outside of my “window” it is solely for him, and he can tell that I do not enjoy it. He immediately thinks of his penis size and gets depressed about it and he truly believes if he were bigger I would want him more. How do we move past this as a couple? How does a woman prevent herself from cheating on her ‘horace’ husband with a ‘jimmy’ and losing his fathering to their children if she’s not in a magic 10% relationship? The recent episode about current events was alarming. I understand the basics of what's happening, but is the gravity of the situation being exaggerated by the doctors? Could they be falling into the trap of being the wise prophet foretelling doom in the stone age? That concept has been discussed on the podcast before so I'm curious their thoughts on it now. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, Dr. Howk discusses:  I grew up facing a lot of turmoil; I had a physically and sexually abusive father, I left home and was homeless from 16 to 18, and dealt with a lot of tumultuous grooming situations at a young age, and so forth. However, I was dealing with it really well up until 20 when I started to take therapy; while simultaneously moving to a tiny city that was very into “woke” culture. I feel as though it may have exasperated my victim mentality, but I am unsure. I want to know, was the victim mentality trait already integrated within my genetics or does woke culture and modern therapy have enough influence to exasperate that mentality?  Does it matter the severity or weight of what you went through when it comes to coaching yourself to leave the victim mentality? How do I cope nondestructively with stress?  As a quite emotionally unstable yet conscientious person, I find myself stressed a lot of the time. In the past, my way of reacting to stress has been reaching for food. I learned that I stress ate because my body was seeking something to increase my chances of survival and reproduction during an uncertain time. More recently, after successfully stopping myself from using food to alleviate stress, I have turned to impulse shopping. This also makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, since the things I buy include jewlery, hair and nail appointments, and clothes, which all enhance my physical appearance and also increase reproductive success.  I was wondering if there is something I could effectively do to soothe stress in the moment that won’t make me gain weight or break my bank account. If I had to put a label on it, I identify as a bisexual female. I’m overthinking applying the EP concepts that I understand so well when it comes to dating women. For instance, do the 10 paid dates still apply with two women? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle discusses: Why do men sometimes pair-bond/fall in love with obviously promiscuous women(promiscuous reputation, clubbing/partying often, always scantily clad)? Maybe I'm having a hard time understanding because I'm a young woman. I would love to hear your thoughts! What pair-bond behavior do highly testeronized men show? My boyfriend of 1 year remembers minute details about me, pays for all our dates, sends me food when he's not with me, and has bought me a new MacBook Pro, iPhone, Tiffany's jewelry, flowers every month, and teddy bears but he is not very verbally or physically affectionate. He has never initiated sexual activities with me either, although I can tell he enjoys when we do them. He's very jealous and possessive, insulting other men's abilities and intentions with me and always telling me to dress more modestly. In addition to not being verbally(as in compliments, sweet-talking, baby-names) and physically affectionate, he's easily irritated with me, curses and yells at me when he's angry, and dismisses my thoughts and opinions. He has proposed to me with a $20,000 engagement ring but I am hesitant to get more invested in this relationship but I am extremely confused about how he feels about me. If this is the pair-bonded behavior of a highly testeronized man maybe I am more compatible with a man who's closer to the middle of the bell curve. Your thoughts would be appreciated! Could you please speak on what it is like to have a romantic relationship with a person with low emocional stability? I have started dating a man who describes himself as having low emotional stability. Although he is very sweet and loving, I do wonder how high the cost will be to maintain this relationship. I am very emotionally stable and as such I'd like to know what to expect.    Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, the Dr's discuss: I listened to Dr Howk on pseudo esteem where you say:  If you are highly agreeable, highly conscientious and not that emotionally stable - being on social media comes with a high price for you psycolgy.  I teach workshops for companies and I get graded every time from each students.   I get 5 from 95% of the students but sometimes I get a 2 or 3 and I can tell right away before I get the evaluation who in the crowd will grade me low.   How do I stop trying to please the one disagreeable person and not feel bad for getting a low grade? When I have a disagreeable person in my workshop I feel like I have to work twice as hard to turn him or her over to my side. It feels like Im spending 1000 dollars on a 100 dollar asignment and Im drained.  My boss allways sees the evaluation and I feel the need to explain my self if a person gave me a low grade.   My boss uses the good evaluations as a selling point to get the companies to buy more workshops at his school. Do you ever talk about abandonment/rejection issues? Examples: my mother divorced my father when I was seven years of age in 1959 and my mother was murdered in 1968 leaving behind 7 children. I was put on psychiatric drugs when I was 13 because of anorexia and being miserable about being bullied at school. The drugs messed me up. I can see it now that I have not used them for years. I was on various types of drugs around 10 years. I now know how damaging and useless those drugs are and I know my cognitive abilities have been damaged because of them. I also now realize just how much damage psychiatry has caused to my life overall. I'm extremely angry and bitter. I'ts incredibly painful to think about what has been done to my brain and what potential has been stolen from me. I dwell on my anger and bitterness everyday and it's unbearable. How can I cope? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, the Dr's discuss; How would you raise a child? Specifically for the first year? All that whining and crying, and getting barely any sleep for the first year. Is there anything parents can do? Or if nothing, if someone has the finances to, would you recommend a nanny or something similar? Do obese people have differing psychologies? I would assume obese genes wouldn't survive to reproduction in historic times before agriculture (in terms of extreme obesity), so do you think that has any impact upon psychology today? Also, are there any groups of people that have differing psychology from the average of the human population for reasons similar to the question? Or just at all? Is it genetics how much sleep someone needs? Do some people just naturally need more sleep even when diet and exercise and stress levels and everything is in the right place? Do introverts need more sleep and rest because their nervous system works differentlyI? I have been working on that with my family members who are very difficult, unpleasant and disrespectful toward me. While it does help considerably with the day to day dynamics, I often still feel guilty about pulling away, and think that I need to explain myself to everyone (although I haven't). Why won't my inner critic give me esteem for separating myself from the disagreeables? Why is there is such heated fight over a woman's decision to have or not to have a child? Most actions to enforce antiabortion laws are taken by male politicians. What is it to them if someone's offspring appears on the planet Earth against their mother's wish? I would like to hear your thoughts on people having paranoia. In the Internet you hear all kinds of reasons for why people have them. Is it mainly genetics and personality? Can you treat paranoia and if so, how? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, the Dr's discuss: How do you explain, in the context of evolutionary psychology, women who pursue polyamory? It seems like they are doing a good job of beating the instructions dealt them by their genes. Alternatively is polyamory is just the new, politically-correct way of cheating on your spouse and potentially ending an unwanted relationship? I am a female from Canada trapped in the country for now.. Currently, with the vaccine mandate, I can't sit inside a restaurant or even join an outdoors sports group. This makes meeting people and dating rather impossible. Should I try my luck just to get out into the market. If so, should I display my vaccine status? My date will find out pretty soon when I say I can only go on a hike date. I've been in a "magic 10%" relationship for almost 2 years. He treats me like a princess, but what robs me of peace of mind is that he has a sister my age who is a single mother. She often asks him for help, money, babysitting, at some point she even asked him to live with her. He refused, but felt guilty afterwards. Is me sharing my man with his sister a sufficient reason to break up? It feels bad both to be in this relationship as well as to end this relationship. It makes me feel guilty as well, because there is not much of partners fault. Is there anything that can be done? Does having a surrogate mother drive a subconscious rift between husband and wife because certain neural networks were not tripped in the female brain? And is there any solution that can trip these circuits so the natural attachments are made? I’ve learned about the harsh realities of being a new parent and the incredible lack of sleep involved. If sleep is so vital, why would nature design such intense sleep deprivation for mothers when raising young children? It seems so counterintuitive. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses: Why do I often get small epiphanies about various things in my life when I'm half asleep? I’ve noticed many people act differently around close friends and family than they do around coworkers and strangers. So, how do we know what our true personalities are? For example, I’m the life of the party around people I know very well, but totally shy and quiet around strangers and at work. I’m also quite disagreeable with close friends and family, but highly agreeable with everyone else. Is it my high conscientiousness that causes me to be such a Chamaeleon? Do other animals (besides humans) show self destructive behaviour? Why are humans so self destructive? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus