Beat Your Genes Podcast

In today's show, we go over the following questions: 1. I think that you are absolutely right when you say that happiness comes from esteem, earned in the right way from the people that matter. It's really beautiful to me how that works. But on the other hand, I occasionally meet women who impress me a great deal, strictly based on their DNA- i.e., above-average looks, brains, and personality. Or, as you might expect, even just well above average looks. So my question is, how can attraction be such a profound emotional experience when so much of it is purely on the basis of DNA, and nothing that has been done to earn it? And in fact people are more impressed with someone when it appears that they are not trying? Is how we feel about ourselves based on what we earn, but how we feel about others mostly just a matter of their DNA? 2. How does IQ affect relationships? Specifically, a male having a greater IQ than his female partner, at what point would this cause problems in the relationship and how? 3. I am a recently single 30 year old male, and I’ve been hitting the online dating apps once again. With my more finely tuned evolutionary lense thanks to your podcast, I’ve noticed something interestin.  It seems as though most of us, while we want to put our best foot forward in order to increase our chance of success, we still can’t help but leak potentially market-limiting queues. Is it simply that we are programmed to be honest so that we don’t end up wasting our time with people who wouldn’t find these market-limiting interests appealing? Is this a simple energy conservation cost-benefit analysis?

Today's questions: 1. Does the myelin sheath development also apply to more purely mental abilities like reading and comprehension, or the ability to imagine and come up with inventive solutions to a problem?  For example, how much can learning and practice be helpful in growing infants and children? Will a baby that is spoken to for 5 hours a day learn to speak significantly faster than one exposed to only an hour of language a day? Or are parents kidding themselves when they spend so much effort to give their child an edge in cognitive development? 2. I'm a private person: I cringe when people air their dirty laundry or have what to me are very private conversations in the facebook comment section. I don't signal affiliation or loyalty the way most people do, and tend to minimize advertising even when it would be seemingly beneficial: I recall declining someone wanting to write an article about me back in high school because "it's nobody's business". I realize I'll always be like this, but the way you and Geoffrey Miller talk about advertising opened it a new perspective. Do you think I'm missing out, and if so, how could I improve where it matters? 3. How do scientists go about measuring genes? How do they identify and associate them with human behavior? Is this something they can see with Petri dishes and a microscope? What would a behavioral scientists day look like?

In today's show, the Drs answer the following listener questions: 1.I was married to a man for 3 years who was a recovering drug and alcohol addict.  In any case, we have recently divorced. There is another man who I have known for about 20 years. We have recently reconnected and are exploring the beginnings of a relationship.I am noticing a heavy drinking behavior in the man in the new relationship. Its hard to tell because right now we are long distance and only see each other on weekends. So am I attracted to addicts?  2. I often hear the term "control" thrown around in pop psychology and fiction. It often turns up in dialogue like one person asking why the other did something stupid or self-destructive and the answer being "I just really needed to feel in control, just for a minute". Or there is the notion that people will calm down when given (the illusion of) control.  3. I'm male, early twenties, been on a whole plant food diet for about 1,5 years. Arguments I can handle (I'm pretty disagreeable), but my family has been emotionally blackmailing me, having what amount to interventions with my mother crying, them saying I'm wasting away and will one day find myself in an ambulance. I'm 5'9 about 132 pounds. I lost about 20 pounds early on and have not lost any more for over a year. I have always had low muscle mass, even when working out -I've come to think I'm just naturally low on that bell curve. But for a year I've finally been able to do proper push-ups, pulls-ups and the like and generally feel fine. I feel distanced from my family and have come to dread spending time with them. What can I do?

On today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk will answer the following questions: 1. Imagine a 20-year-old male.  Every day, he plays video games, eats Twinkies, drinks Mountain Dew, binge watches Netflix, mindlessly scrolls through Social Media, and watches .  What are the long-term and short-term effects of all this supernormal stimuli? 2.I feel like I’m stuck in a diet mindset where my internal audience won’t recognize any of my efforts unless I’m 100% compliant all of the time.   Considering all the crap other people eat, I feel like I should be able to have one meal a week that’s not 100% wfpb and still be fine and not feel all this guilt? 3. I understand your view on how to handle questions about "why do eat that way" etc however i am wondering about what to say when people say things like "Oh i really need to do something about my weight so i have just started eating low carb high fat". Or " i have diabetes so i can't eat pasta or potatoes." Lately my respone has been to smile and say nothing however i am left feeling frustrated that there is so much that i could contribute to the conversation but i just hold back. What is the best approach when people say or do things that either simple wrong or not the best solution, particularily when you care about the person and want to be helpful?  4. I am impressed with the data behind a whole foods plant based diet but felt this wasn't something I could stick with long term. I've read in the pleasure trap strategies for telling others to buzz off, but still didn't like the social implications of being a young male vegan. Long term concerns for being on this diet? Would you recommend it for anyone?

In today's show we discuss the Evolutionary psychology of individual, group, and self punishment and revenge. How does this factor in to Hamilton's rule?  Listener questions: 1. Why do people seek revenge and compensation pain from a person who has angered them even if they lose as well? Why do people take an approach of 'I will hurt you back even if it means I get hurt as well' when they are in rage? 2. Are there evolutionary reasons for sending signals to the others by physically harming oneself? 3. Kind of a weird question but why is it so hard to convey to guys/male partners that they should simply put down the toilet seat after they are done peeing?  I find this conversation extremely unnecessary and childish however it seems to me that there is something deeper behind (evolutionary) otherwise it doesn’t make sense to me to make such a big fuss about it. I know it sounds dumb but thanks for answering! 4.  What is it about human social psychology that make Stone age tribes or "villages" tend to Max out around 50 or 150 people or so? Was it that nothing could invite more people than that under any common purpose?.

In this episode, we have an on-air session with a listener whose new boss micromanages everything he does.

In today's show we have the following questions: 1. What are Dr. Lisle's thoughts on group therapy? What is the purpose if there is one and how would he apply evolutionary principles and esteem dynamics to group therapy? 2. My MIL treats her 4 granddaughters quite differently.  I am a disagreeable person who really values fairness. It’s hard not to comment or approach her when she treats them so different. Let’s not even begin to get into how many more clothes and toys (resources overall) she gets for her daughter’s girls. Is there a way for her to look at my daughter differently and allocate resources fairly? 3. Recently you described the Enlightenment Trap, which interested me greatly and I wondered if you believed there was some degree to which meditation practice was a means of beating the genetic disposition for egoistic drives for status enhancement. Robert Wright certainly seems to think so. I recognise that there are apparently many examples of pseudo- meditators displaying their practice conspicuously as a status / virtue-signalling attempt, but do you believe there are some devotees who genuinely manage to reduce egoistic drives? 4. I am a professional woman in my middle years and want to be less critical of people and other things. 5.

We go over the following questions: 1.  What is impostor syndrome? Can you change the perception of feeling like a fraud?  2. A dad's son climbs on a roof to look at his neighbor's nude sunbathing. Dad handles it, but mom is furious and thinks this is huge issue warranting psychiatric medications.   3.  A listener's boyfriend ended up at a stripclub with coworkers.  He denies he got a lapdance even though everyone else got one.  Listener wants to know if she is the one insecure and if a more confident woman wouldn't mind this happening.  And also if this is 'normal behavior' for men and so she should expect it from any future partners.  4. Does having more wealth increase the trait of openness? 5. What does the future hold for humans capable or not capable of thriving in the modern environment in the face of so many traps?

The questions for tonight's show are as follows: 1. I was wondering how Dr Lisle reconciled two seemingly opposing thoughts I've heard on separate episodes. 1. CBT is an effective therapy to mitigate cognitive distortions and 2. The human brain/nervous system does an immaculate job of evaluating its effectiveness and status within a group. If our brains do such an amazing job of evaluating feedback from the group, why are cognitive distortions so common? 2.I've often felt anger when someone seems to misunderstand something, perhaps honestly and perhaps disingenuously in something that is approaching an argument. The feeling often keeps me from explaining exactly what I mean because I expect that the exact points of the disagreement are disingenuous so it won't matter and I will only regret justifying myself and "opening up". You've often mentioned that that communication in relationships isn't faulty the way most psychologist say, but you've also talked about getting crystal clear. So should I beat my genes and get crystal clear, or is the inference that it won't change a thing correct?

We welcome to the podcast our newest guest, Dr. Jen Howk. We'll find out about who she is, how she got interested in Evolutionary Psychology, the work she has done, and her thoughts on a few select topics.