Beat Your Genes Podcast

In today's show, the Dr's dicuss the following question:  1. In episode 243, Dr. Lisle defined the pleasure trap roughly as the state of an organism being fooled by artificial stimuli into believing it is achieving biological success. How does the placebo effect fit into this picture? Given that the placebo effect typically makes a person feel better without the underlying condition improving, it seems like we have evolved with something akin to the pleasure trap built right into us, and therefore the pleasure trap is not a modern phenomenon. 2. My anger and frustration is increasing as folks insist on eating foods that cause their disease which, in turn, incurs costs that all of us are then obligated to bear. Everyone wants to complain about the high cost of health care and global warming but choose to ignore the obvious solution. I need help in dialing back my frustration and increasing sense of despair. 3. The recent talk about living in distortions has really resonated with me. Is this the same as the early concept of making a paradigm shift in our thinking? Looking at the Mind Map, if the self is a calibration system that sets goals, and those goals are based on our personality's view of our competitive environment, are our distortions derived from outdated calibrations? Or how are they accumulated over time? It seems many of us get stuck in a particular way of looking at the world and our elevated place in it. And if we get stuck in those distortions are we then destined to work toward the wrong goals? Maybe I just want to hear more about how we concoct distortions and how to confront them...Love the work you all do!

In today's replay of episode 206, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk go over the following questions: 1. Depression often gets talked about as being a biological condition and that just like having a broken arm, treating depression with medication is similar to treating a broken bone with a splint. What is the opinion of Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk about treating depression with medication vs. taking an evolutionary approach to helping individuals improve the esteem dynamics in their life? The combination of medication and therapy is often viewed as the best treatment, but I don’t think most therapies take the approach that Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk do. 2. I'm a male and I've noticed that in numerous relationships, if my girlfriend was mad, then she would just flat out ignore me. I don't understand this behavior as anger would usually lead me to talk through issues and try to resolve them, whereas they might just ignore my calls and messages for days at a time. This caused me tremendous stress ro the point of getting no sleep and significantly impaired life functioning. How do I deal with this situation? And is this a male/female difference in conflict resolution, or an esteem dynamic where I'm over rewarded? 3. Ive been living with my boyfriend for over 15 yrs. Been with him total of 25 yrs. Im a young 60, he is 57. Ready to fall off ur chair? We have never had intercourse. First 10 yrs we done sone other intimate things, but no more. He never pursues or initiates anything with me. I used to try, but tired of being rejected.;( I want to leave the relationship. But do not. I definitely need help, can u give me some insight & guidance.

In today's show, the Dr's discuss the following questions: 1. For the past 20 years I have been bewildered and somewhat dissappointed in how my ex-husband and two adult sons have been difficult to get along with and very dismissive of me, despite my huge efforts to forge a warm and close feeling among the 4 of us. No matter how hard I try, I keep getting rejection and sometimes even ridicule from these guys,even though none of us live together anymore. Now, finally, I realize that the problem maybe isn't me (ie. not a "good enough" mother or wife.) Perhaps it is in their personalities -- they would all score pretty high on the disagreeable bell curve while I am in the high 80's for agreeableness. So now what? Is there a different strategy I should take with these family members. Or should I just give up and head for the hills? I would appreciate any help. I love these people, but I don't enjoy being with them anymore. 2. You’ve talked about how people enjoy landscapes that indicate that safety, food, and water needs will be met. But why do people feel a sense of wonder and awe at the night sky, a newborn’ s hand, or the Grand Canyon? Are these feelings related to religious experiences? Are there personality traits that would be more likely in people who have frequent experiences of awe and wonder?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss some economics, politics, and this question from a listener:  (Paraphrased due to original q length) Dear Dr's, I was recently laid off from my job and even though I'm collecting unemployment, I still want to get another job.  I've applied for and received opportunities for jobs.  One offer is to work for the police as an analyst but do I really want to work for an establishment that hauls people to jail for not wearing a mask?  Another is a high tech job implementing 5G technology - I have strong opinions against 5G and think it needs more testing. I know 5G is coming whether I work on it or not, but I feel guilty putting my efforts toward it.   I  have the same sort of personal objections on the other offer. What the hell is wrong with me? I need the money and I need companionship. It is hard to get a job in this economy and I have worked so hard to get these. Why am I so confused about which job to take? Maybe I should just forget it and sit around on unemployment.

In today's replay of episode 205, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk answer the following questions: 1. My brother never does anything in moderation, for example if he starts working out, he'll organize his life around it, stop all social drinking and the like. Then he will eventually feel empty and complain he's burnt out. My question is, is he destined to live in this open-unstable roller-coaster ride, or can I give him some advice (perhaps Harry Browne style) that will help him find his place? 2. I've heard Dr. Howk talk about social media as a potential pleasure trap, and I was wondering if she could go into more depth on that. What are the circuits being hijacked? What advice would you give to a low-key social media addict?

In today's show, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss some current events including vaccine passports, an impending social credit system, and some libertarian principles.

In this episode, Dr. Lisle & Dr. Howk briefly discuss a recent article titled, "Harvard researchers help explain link between emotion and addictive substance use".  https://www.hks.harvard.edu/faculty-research/policy-topics/health/report-sadness-triggers-addictive-behavior They discuss addiction, relapsing, channel factors, Dr. Howk shares a personal story, and we answer the following listener question: Most of the people I know use chemicals to manage their lives as least in some aspects: coffee to wake up, alcohol for social lubrication, SSRIs when feeling down, and beta blockers for anxiety, even Adderall or cocaine for productivity and charisma and so on. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to resist the feeling that I'm leaving some competitive advantage on the table by not partaking. I assume you would discourage the use of most if not all of these substances. It it because you think they are all net negative in the long run, or do you find the whole concept puts the cart before the horse by trying to mold emotions to fit the environment instead of working on the environment? Are there any exceptions?

In today's show, the Dr's discuss: 1. Is it possible to have a personality that is not a good fit for a long-term committed relationship? 2. I have this one specific girlfriend who seems to be different because she ONLY attracts pair bonds. She has never gotten a casual mating approach, not that I can ever remember. She gets approached by all fine, decent, good looking, intelligent guys who all really love her. She's average looking, yet thin, long haired and very intelligent too. She gets in a stable monogamous relationship with one, stays with him for 2/3/4 years saying she really, really loves him and then abruptly dumps him, moving to the next one..  I'm more curious about how she can be so lucky to always find good pair bonds as to why she acts like this. 3. A friend has become a life and wellness coach primarily through social media. She enjoys what she does, makes a livable living, and creates value in her clients’ lives. Yet, when our friend group occasionally mentions this friend everyone seems to disapprove of what she’s doing business-wise. In fact, all of us have unfollowed her on social media because we can’t stand to watch her content. She gives advice on nutrition, makes motivational videos, and sells coaching sessions to women—and for some reason, it all comes off as disingenuous, scammy, and distorted.  I have no intention of changing her or her business. What I’m curious about is why we feel disgust whenever she comes up in conversation. There’s no issue whenever she and I hang out in person. We always have a good time. But, why am I so turned off by her Internet presence and the way she makes money? Could it be that I think she’s claiming unearned status? Or could it be that I see the online coach version of her as deceiving and therefore a threat to the village? Please help me understand.

In today's replay of episode 212, the Dr's discuss the following questions: 1. Would you still recommend psychology as a career? I am interested in becoming a therapist, and your podcast has turned what I thought I knew on it's head and has completely changed the way I would want to go about my theoretical orientation. But now that it's so different, I feel like I am doubting everything.  Could you talk a little about what it's like to be in the position of the therapist? I am looking for information to direct my behavioral output. 2. How do I overcome fear? I have a friend who is brave and courageous! I would so like to accomplish those qualities, but whether it comes to sky diving, public speaking, or taking other risks im super scared and it takes so much for me to make the leap? How can I make the leap easier and become more courageous when I know that's what I really want? any tricks/shortcuts/technique or game changing information regarding this? 3. I am a female in my 50s now, and all of my life when someone is mad or upset with me, for any reason and no matter who has the 'right' to be upset, I cannot live with it. I perseverate on it and I cannot shake things until things are resolved and even after sometimes I do not find a release. I am surprised that at this point in my life I cannot shake this. For example, at work I made a mistake and I am working to fix the error, but I am ashamed and even though I am moving forward with efforts to fix the problem and grow from it, I cannot rest for weeks. What is this heavy and stressful feeling trying to tell me?

In this episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk discuss this situation: I am a 26 year old female and in a two year relationship with a guy named Luke. He is an MD and works at the hospital, he is rather smart, lookwise pretty average but neighter overweight nor has a funky smell. He is a nice guy, will provide for me and the family as soon as we have kids, which is already on our agenda. He respects my wishes to a large extent and eats only plant based at home though he used to eat meat. He is caring and always there for me even when I am going a bit crazy. Sounds perfect right? Well. When I was 20 I met a guy (Dave) and we became best friends, after a year or so we had a short phase where we had sex, which led to quite some trouble and our friendship wasn’t the same ever since. We did see each other every couple of months but we never got that close again, he also moved to another country closeby. I really fell for him though and all throughout the years I was never able to let go of him, he appeared in my dreams and so on. He is the same age as me and my partner, but restarted college again in the new country he is in now, he is in no position to provide while I want to be a stay at home mum. Also he is not into me. He never was and I don’t think he ever will be. I dont’t know why I can’t get this guy out of my head, he still makes me shaky after five years and a lot of misbehaviour on his side. Luke on the other side is nice. But I never crushed on him once, it was all a rational choice. So tell me. How can I let go of this feeling for Dave? I just don’t get it, my mind is totally on board with planing my future with Luke and having a familiy and kids soon, still there is always this nagging voice/ feeling reminding me of Dave. I also thought about him while I was having sex with Luke and I feel really bad about it. How do I move on? I really want to be happy and feel like I am standing in my ow way.